I have no heart and my avatar makes everything sound sexual. Also, It's pronounced "sam-ee".
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After a long summer filled with magic shows, Trixie comes back to Ponyville to spend the winter freeloading at Twilight's castle. However, she finds out that a lot of things changed when she was gone.
For starters, there's a monster in her bed.
Preread by Cinder Vel, Bootsy Slickmane, and Dragonborne Fox
🇺🇦Russian translation🇺🇦 by repitter
🇺🇦Russian reading by Demicorn Masterrace🇺🇦
Coverart vectors: Trixie by FamousMari5, Starlight by DashieSparkle, background by Magpie-pony
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Are we sure even if Twilight notices it she won't ignore it depending on how her week has went
9095930
She may be like, "Hmm, Applejack's house is burning. Eh, she can handle that."
At least Spike's secret relationship with Gabby is safe.
...
9096051
Finally got his circus in a sewer up and running!
There's much to laugh at in this yes. But of all of them I have to say, OF COURSE the Castle of Friendship has a spare key by the door...
I really like the tone you have for your version of Equestria. It balances it being dark with the rediculousness everyone goes through quite well.
It reminds me of Billy and Mandy, but with less fart jokes and more swearing, drugs, and the occasional death.
9096551
But Billy and Mandy had a death in every episode! It was the same death, sure, but he was still a death.
9096051
Yeah, that was my first thought too.
Way I figure, after getting beaten within an inch of its life by a bunch of
foodkids, only to then end up in the Villains Pub* Pennywise would need a vacation of some sort.Granted there's a high chance that Pennywise met his/its end in Equestria.
* = For those who haven't seen it yet there's a channel on youtube called How It Should Have Ended ( or HISHE) which does little animated shorts showing how movies could've ended differently. They also make a series called the Villain Pub which I think is pretty entertaining.
Gonna file this one under Triple S...Silly Samey Stories. Loved it!
9096040
Hmm, I should probably write that
9096269
It took a while because everything kept floating down there.
9096313
That's probably not the only one. Given Twilight's generally active lifestyle, she probably keeps losing those.
9096551
I started with serious dark fics, then moved on to comedy, now I'm trying to make both go together, actually.
9097342
Now I wonder if someone ever wrote Pennywise in Equestria. The answer is probably yes (but it may be Displaced).
9097481
I wonder if anyone remembers that long time ago, when the first trailers featuring Starlight aired, Mayor Marks was one of the names people were calling her (as well as "mother of Aria Blaze", "Unnamed Equal Town Leader", "unicorn Suri Polomare" or "Pony Jim Jones", which actually seems more clever than communist Starlight). Also, it was 2015. Quite a while ago.
As a russian whose name just happens to be Anton, I truly appreciate the Antonovka pony namedrop.
9097629
Ah, I see. I didn't join the herd until early 2017, so I missed out on all that. Still pretty funny.
9097629
Please?
This was fucking insane. Perfect. :D
The many misadventures of Starlight, Trixie, and Tempest.. please more..
When in doubt, always ask
WolverineHulkTempest to defuse the situation!Starlight may be in for some dried frog pills.
“There’s plenty of beds in this castle,” Starlight replied. “Including one that can fit seven ponies comfortably and still no one figured out what is it for.”
The Tree of Harmony is a pervert. Or it just thinks Twilight needs help fertilizing her flowers so she can produce seeds. Organic plant intelligences can have issues understanding pony biology like that.
9099193
Sometimes involving literal fuses.
9097677
I guess that's the Russian branch of AJ's family
9099231
Quite a lot, in fact. She didn't know becoming a guidance counsellor was that hard.
9099348
Tree of Harmony actually thinks the sole purpose of ponies is to die and be buried so plants can grow using their bodies as a fertiliser. Hence it creates objects that are known to attract large amounts of ponies, such as the castle. It also helps them procreate. Evolution is so fascinating.
I love how "going Starlight" is now a euphemism for going insane. The Starlight/Trixie/Tempest dynamic was hilarious.
I THOUGHT my day could use some crack.
9102000
Now you don't?
9100920
I wonder how many of Starlight's meltdowns Tempest has already witnessed...
9102123
Nope.
This provided all I needed.
THANK YOU! Finally someone gets it!
9103742
Well, "everycreature" does sound kinda forced. Wonder what made Twilight come up with that one.
9104267
*Points to Hasbro as a suspect.*
This is just perfect. I could do nothing but read about the antics of Trixie, Starlight, and Tempest Shadow all day long. It's like a buddy cop film, if there were three buddy cops instead of two buddy cops, and instead of being good guys who save the day they just mostly get into general insane antics that include lots of explosions.
9111019
"Together, they fight each other... And sometimes crime."
This was weird.
What the fuck!?!
9305528
A few of them, I guess.
Exquisitely ludicrous. Tempest makes the already misadventurous duo into something so hilariously inept that it's probably a war crime. Thank you for this.
9662520
I'd say Tempest makes their relations more explosive...
He's probably still terrorising Total Loser and the rest of Dairy.
Translation: liver damage.
Do you even give a shit Trixie?
9974739
Not just any liver damage, but the one that causes toxins to flow freely and damage the brain. Apparently common in cirrhosis.
9975530
Yeah.
He's still hanging out in Dairy, Mane with Total Loser. He's helping him build his sewer circus...although there have been some disappearances lately...he should be careful.
10060997
He had to go underground...
10062063
Yeah... But at least floaters is almost done.
Waait, how do you know that expression?!
Do I know you?
10532174
I think it comes from the Russian (?) joke about the mafia kidnapping a chemist, a biologist, and a physician so they'd find the best way to make their racehorses win.
10533259
Yes! Or a variant of that where a physicist \programmer tries to sell his model\software to forecast race results. But it is WIP and postulates spherical horses moving in vacuum.
is Russian. also is a security/staff pony in several sims in Second Life and used to tell this joke.
I wasn't sure if anyone else retold it. Although there was MIT-originated (?) joke about spherical chiken with similar premise, regarding an optimal farm.
10533755
Hmm, I think I recall the spherical chicken thing...
9111019
The Sunset Shimmer is Mad About Everything-verse might be what you're looking for.