• Published 6th Aug 2018
  • 659 Views, 94 Comments

The Lulamoon Files - TheCrimsonDM



Wizard Detective Trixie Lulamoon is trying to pay rent and solve a monstrous murder case at the same time. How long can she keep dodging death and bullets for, and can she solve the murders before she ends up the next victim?

Comments ( 16 )

It's great I loved it!

Would love to see more stories set in the same universe as this. Plus, It would be interesting to see what happens with Trixie from here. I also wonder what would happen if she encountered the alicorn amulet in this universe.....

9488621
Yeah, it's a fun story. I myself would like to work on the sequels. Also, I never even thought about the alicorn amulet for this universe... hmm, that gives me ideas.

9489168
Intriguing. I would love to see what you do with the concept of an artifact that grants the user Goddess like abilities whilst also corrupting their very minds.

I second the motion for another book in this universe. While other Dresden crossovers are really good, yours is the only one that uses Trixie in that respect and I enjoyed it a lot and it adds to the unique, but familiar world. So, 'please, sir, may we have some more?" In any case, well done!

9489276
I'm really glad to see people liking it. XD
I think I couldn't stop myself from working on the sequels even if I tried lol

Good story is there going to be a sequal? :twilightsmile:

9489430
At this point, I can't stop myself from writing a sequel or two. lol

How? How does this story not have more likes and views?

Now. it has some minor flaws. The occasional typo which some extra editing might have fixed. Some side characters are a little one-dimensional. Most notably Caramel, which somewhat lessened the impact of her demise. Plus, there's one or two early plot points that never really paid off, some of which might pay off in sequels while others don't.

Maybe I just missed the connection. But the fact that the victims' cutie marks were missing was made out to be a major clue in the beginning, yet it never came up again after the 'killer' was revealed to be a swarm of parasprites.

But overall I found this a pleasantly diverting, well-paced and entertaining mystery to follow that never lost my attention. Most importantly, I found Trixie to be a very likable hero and well-rounded character. She's still boisterous and a bit of a braggart, but she also recognizes her own shortcomings and finds ways to turn the situation to her advantage anyway by other means. That's the mark of a good hero in my opinion, to have flaws, recognize them and yet keep going.

Especially in a first person narrative like this one, the burden falls on the protagonist to carry the whole story which Trixie accomplished to do very well in both victory and defeat. And the straining and eventual reignition and deepening of her friendship with AJ served very well as the emotional heart for the story. (Arguably, it worked better than the romantic subplot. But that might be due to the fact that AJ had vastly more exposure in the story than Rarity did.)

The story also avoided pulling a twist for the sake of pulling a twist at the end, which has soiled many detective stories in the past for me that tried to be clever at the end and only managed to jump the shark with something that was both unpredictable to the reader and contradicted facts that were established earlier.

So in conclusion, very well done. And as I can see sequels are already being talked about, I'll be looking forward to those very much.:twilightsmile:

9535465
Thank you so much XD

I know there are some issues, I had actually even forgot about the cutiemark thing though, gives me some new ideas for the sequel maybe. There are some big issues with the story and those mostly come from the fact that I did write this over two years ago, forgot about it, started to edit and post it, got busy and forgot it again, finally got back to editing and posting. I was supposed to do some revisions... but ended up in a place where I kinda had to forego revisions sadly. Still to hear that so many people enjoyed it, despite a lack of any real revisions makes me happy.

Yes there are sequels coming, eventually lol. I'm still working out how those are going to work out as I do have some interesting ideas for the future stories. So I hope to see you enjoy those when they do come out XD

Again thanks for the in depth comment, it helps me a lot as a writer.

Well, there we are. I guess you could make a sequel out of this, but it would need to deviate more heavily instead of hitting most of the beats like this story does for Storm Front. Also, Rarity's inevitable reveal as being a unicorn when? Unless she goes the way of Kim...

9808344
Unicorn Rarity? I thought she was just a normal earth pony... like everyone else. :trixieshiftleft:

I do plan on doing two more sequels, at least. Much of my reference for this story when writing came from Fallout Equestria and RE: Harmony, one of those was very much close to the source material, the other... I still don't know what inspired.

The sequels will still be loosely based on the books, less so than this one, and the final novel in the trilogy would be a significant different beast. This one was sort of my attempt to cover the events of the first two Dresden books in one novel so I could get to the really fun stuff in the future.

Awesome job reading the story in one sitting. I didn't expect anyone would do that so, thanks a lot for reading the story and commenting. It helps a lot. XD

9808353

Yeah, I try to leave comments inversely to how many comments a fanfiction already has. A super-popular fic with thousands of comments I'll occasionally pop in and say something here and there. Something like this I'll try posting every chapter.

9808357
I try to do the same. Considering I've been on the receiving end of that, I can attest to how nice it feels as a creator. It's nice to give out some good vibes to other creators too.

9828636
Thank you XD
I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I hope that you'll enjoy the sequel once it comes out as well. XD

This has been a fun ride and I have you to thank for it! Bam, instant favourite.

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