Wizard Detective Trixie Lulamoon is trying to pay rent and solve a monstrous murder case at the same time. How long can she keep dodging death and bullets for, and can she solve the murders before she ends up the next victim?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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LOVE the New Marcone and that AJ is Murphy. You are doing a wonderful job, my only critic is watch your pacing. This needs to be slower, noir light. You're doing Trixie as a unicorn wizard detective, that almost requires noir fantasy pacing. That is, slow till it isn't. Marine is a creeping horror, followed by a shock. This moved a trifle to fast. I'm not scared of Rider, Marcone creeps me out, even as I now he's the best option. Spot as Hendrix, please remember Hendrix is also HIGHLY educated. Unless spot is hendrix's predecessor, that guy was a moron. Other then that good job. I enjoy that this is going It's own way and is no way just a retelling. I love the combination of fool moon and storm front that you've taken. Means that even those of us that know the Dresden Files have no idea were you are leading.
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Thank you. XD
I will admit this is more of a thriller than even the dresdan files are. And in all honesty book one is kinda short so once i'm done uploading chapters I imagine most people will be easily to finish it in a single sitting. If it was as long as normal dresdan book I would have made it run slower. And yes, Spot is more related to Hendrix's predecessor. I'm glad you picked up a bit on the fusion of the first two books, my original goal with this piece was to try and fuse some of the themes from multiple books so as I could tell the entire story faster.
Also I am in love with your avatar picture.
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Fair enough, just be careful, some of this chapter felt rushed. Thanks for the compliment on my avatar. I was Sombra for a good portion of my life, thankfully my Radiant Hope found me. Tell your story how you want to. You're doing well so far.
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I'm always open to critiques and welcome them as they are useful for my future projects. I just don't have the time to edit and revise like I used to anymore with school lol. But any and all critiques will go towards making the sequel to this story even better. XD
Well, at least Trixie has a bottom line.
Season 9 is out, but some people had a fan theory before then that Wind Rider was Scootaloo's father. So, uh. Hopefully that's not Scootaloo he's cradling.
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lol that's a nice theory. I'm basically avoiding season Nine aside from the season finally, but it's nice to see that there was a theory of WInd Rider being her dad. I probably won't use it, but it's funny to think about.