Twilight rolled her eyes as she prepared her coffee, watching her friends watch her closely.
It was getting rather annoying.
You're the one who tried to kill yourself, next time, cut off your horn and jump off a cliff so you can't save yourself accidentally. Twilight shook her head at the morbid thought. It wasn't too terrible an idea, though if she failed, and her track record was against her, she'd be crippled for life, and unable to ever attempt again. Not like you could try again anyway, they only leave you alone to use the bathroom... You could drown yourself.
"Shut up." Twilight grumbled.
"Twi?" Applejack probed.
"Nothing, sorry, just...talking to the voice."
"Applejack, are you okay to watch her alone?" Fluttershy whispered, Twilight was used to this, instead of calling them out, she decided to pretend she couldn't hear them anyway.
"Yeah, go take care of yer animals or whatever you need to do."
"I'll bring some homemade food when I stop by again." She whispered heading out the door.
"Er... Twilight, you said you were talking to a voice?" Spike piped up, clearly very worried.
"Not like that." She rolled her eyes.
"Oh, okay. So what are you talking to?" He asked.
"My depression. My psych wants me to try treating the depression as a bad house-guest that won't be easily evicted and to counter it's arguments." She sighed.
"Is it helping?" Applejack asked.
"Nope." Twilight sipped her coffee, Applejack and Spike gave each other worried looks.
"Twi, I wanna know why you thought suicide was a valid reaction. I know what ya said back then, but you weren't exactly stable. I wanna help as best as I can, and for that, I think ah need to know what has you so depressed."
Twilight looked hard at Spike.
"Not in front of him." She answered.
"What!?" Spike exclaimed. "I won't have nightmares or something if that's what you think!"
"No, I just... I don't want you to hear it Spike." She sighed.
"Fine, fine! Kick out the dragon again! You're lucky I'm small for now!" Spike growled and stormed out.
"He'll be fine, I'll make him some hot cocoa or something later." Twilight said gently.
"So, what happened Twilight?" Applejack asked.
"I was beaten and molested by my parents. I was raped by my brother. I was gaslit. I was granted no privacy, not even in the bathroom. My journals were subject to being invaded and corrected by my parents if I didn't paint them in a positive light, eventually I just stopped writing..."
If Applejack was upset by this news, she hid it well.
"Maybe ya should start a journal again. Defy them that made you feel like ya couldn't?" She suggested.
"...Maybe." Twilight sipped her coffee.
"I always thought it was terrible awful my parents died, but, at least while they was here they loved me." Applejack whispered.
"Spike, bless him, still loves my mother. She treated him better than she ever treated me. I don't know how he'd react if I destroyed his idea of a perfect "grandma", I... I actually at one point started to hate him Applejack. I... I shouldn't, but I love my parents, and I wanted her to love me the way she loved Spike!" Twilight began sobbing.
A pale gold handkerchief was suddenly in front of her, wiping her eyes.
"Twilight, I'm so sorry you went through so much pain."
"Thanks." She sniffled. "I mean, of course I love Spike, he's like a brother or a son to me, but, I used to hate him. It wasn't until I was sent to Ponyville that I began to recover a bit, and I still treated him like nothing more than a servant. He didn't deserve that. Not any of it."
"Maybe you should talk to him?" Applejack suggested.
"But he's just a baby!" Twilight argued.
"Spike is more grown up and mature than you realize Twilight."
"I don't want him to feel bad for loving my family." She muttered.
"Do you love your family, Twilight?" Applejack asked bluntly.
"I... yes. But that's not the point!" She argued.
"That's exactly the point. You're both gonna get hurt from all this mess. Honestly, I'm surprised the Princess hasn't sent a letter to your parents."
"Luna was in my fever dreams, she probably intercepted the letter or told Celestia not to before she did it." Twilight muttered, and then became angry. "Or maybe, those bastards got it and were only sad I hadn't succeeded and worried I'd expose them!"
"Twi, deep breath." Applejack reminded.
She inhaled slowly and then exhaled, trying to imagine the anger leaving her in the same breath.
"They are my family Applejack." Twilight cried.
"How about I share mine?" Applejack suggested.
Twilight smiled, and laughed a little. "Gee, thanks."
"Twilight Sparkle, I am serious. You're now my sister, because I said so, you deserve a good family, and I'll let you into mine!" Applejack shouted. "If I have to marry ya to make ya an Apple I will!"
Twilight stared at Applejack for a moment and began twitching.
"Twi?" Applejack asked concerned for her friend.
The twitching continued, and then a laugh spilled out. Twilight fell over, laughing and wheezing.
"Twilight? You okay?" Applejack asked.
"Sorry. Sorry. I just-" She coughed and laughed at the same time. "I just pictured you in a fancy frilly wedding dress, wearing your stetson and I-I..." the laughter continued.
"Glad to be of assistance." Applejack smiled.
twilights family better be brought to heel for their crimes
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Oh I certainly have plans for her family. They might have escaped legal trouble, but they have not escaped a pissed off alicorn.
Here's where the largest issues of the story lie: the abuse and handling of PTSD. Before I give you the bad, I'd like to point out the good thing you have done in this story (which, no, I haven't downvoted): You have portrayed Applejack very well, as a supportive and caring friend who is doing the right thing with being patient and listening to what someone going through so much mental turmoil needs. She's dependable and with subdued compassion compared to the more overtly empathetic Fluttershy, and her emotional reactions are balanced. Her accent is a little rough, but that's no biggie! Congrats on writing such a supportive AJ!
A mistake you made with another character was with Spike. You never, ever flat-out tell a child something this big, even if they're 'mature enough'. It's scary. It's wrong. There are safer ways to slowly communicate something as big as a member of a family facing sexual abuse to a younger family member, such as a brother/sister or son/daughter... or whoever else, really. You never burden a child with that knowledge, and you would have to start slow. Telling Spike that Twilight needs therapy for something that happened a long time ago would be alright. Just... almost anything, really. Somepony like Celestia or one of her friends could tell Spike Twilight needs to see a therapist for depression.
(Another thing to note: multiple times, especially in the description of the sequel, you list Twilight's problem as being 'depression'. Depression and PSTD can exist in a comorbid state, but they are not the same. In some people, their PTSD can have depressive features, and some symptoms overlap, but once again, it's not the same. You would not treat one the way you would treat the other. This is another reason why research is important.)
Before I get into the bulk of this, I would also like to point out that talking about traumatic experiences like years of molestation and other abuse is extremely difficult to cope with and talk about, for the most part. If Twilight was able to function well without meds, therapy, and only (what appeared to be) anxiety/OCD or somewhat autistic behavior before the reveal (basically, like her show self) then Twilight must have likely coped through what is called 'compartmentalization'. It could also be used to explain previously reduced night terrors* too, and that a depressive spell, damage to her attempts to push her thoughts away, and other issues (like suicidal yearnings**) led her to her attempt, and that's why these dreams weren't noticed before.
*Congrats on being able to tell the difference between nightmares and night terrors! This is actually pretty important. However, Luna's explanation of night terrors makes them sound almost magical or like some kind of spiritual affliction... which is weird?
**By including signs of suicidal thoughts in the aftermath of the attempt, you've included a realistic element of suicidal depression in your stories, even if the previous issues still stand. This is also something Twilight would want to discuss with a therapist in a realistic setting or try to use techniques a therapist could teach her (or any unhealthy ones of her own) to cope with her thoughts. Even struggling to try and replace them with positive ones would be character progression you would want in a story.
And here's the real meat of the comments.
The abuse itself is the ugly heart of so many of the problems in this story. It suffers from terrible pacing, inexperienced writing, horrible characterization on the part of the abusers, an inconsistent impact on the abused pony, a confusing way it was shoved into the setting***, and most of all it is done in a way that is painfully melodramatic.
***Abuse can obviously fly under the radar, but with how much you implied was happening to Twilight, I'm really not sure how she can function anymore. She went away from her family to live with Celestia and Spike in the castle, was well as going to classes at Celestia's school, but how did no doubt occur? Did anypony ever pull Twilight aside for an awkward conversation at school because they thought she was acting funny? What was Family Appreciation Day like for? You can tell me that this character was abused, but you have to tell me how it happened too.
Most importantly, I think you should give an idea to why it happened. I'm not saying you should not have Twilight's family be portrayed as evil for what they've done, but you've got to offer more than that. They actually appear in here, and outside of the absurd kiddie kind of revenge fantasy that's treated like a 'solution' to the problem of them is not only terrible writing, but a missed chance to offer any insight into these characters. (Also, Cadance married Shining Armor! That's an entire missed subplot there! You didn't even write them as a husband and wife, it seems.) Instead, this just becomes a generic abusefic with a few odd quirks, like AJ being a good friend.
Another thing is how unrealistic various angles of the abuse are. Why was the whole family involved? If you're going for a more 'typical' situation of abuse, everyone has some level of awareness of what's happening, except maybe any siblings. One parent (yes, it's usually a parent or a more dominant sibling, but not always the older one) acts as the abuser towards Child A (from here on, I'll be calling them foals) and is a normal or especially good parent to Foal B, who has no idea what is going on. The other parent is unlikely to be in the dark. They might turn a blind eye, accuse Foal A of being a liar and shaming them into silence (and even punishing them), they could be emotionally abusive**** towards Foal A, who is an established victim of neglect of sexual abuse now. The other parent might even be a willing enabler, or perhaps groomed to allow this. That parent could also be suffering spousal abuse from their own spouse, to submissive to get help, or too meek to challenge their partner. None of this is the situation you have to use, but it's an example of something that is more likely to happen in an abusive situation.
****I'm just going to say this outright, but sexual abuse from mothers is fairly rare, or at least less reported. Emotional and mental abuse from females, is far more likely, however... this doesn't make the possibility that Twilight Velvet was the abusive parent and Night Light was the enabler in the example situation above... just far less likely. Which, of course, is part of the reason I used neutral terms to refer to them, though I'm also not sexist, so I'unno.
That's about all I have to say on your story!
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You're teaching me how to write an abused character just be reading your comments, thank you for being so informative!
hhhmm sadly it had to be that bad.
I somehow expected her to cry or have that crazy laugh to be honest.