• Member Since 24th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 11th, 2016

RainbowShy1241


T

Our story begins as Vinyl Scratch takes a stroll around Canterlot to find her two friends Lyra and Bonbon. Turns out they are there to get Vinyl for Bonbon's birthday party. So the three mares set off to catch a train for Ponyville and at the train station Vinyl sees a breathtaking mare named Octavia. Is it love at first sight? Vinyl must know more about this mare.

This is an Octavia x Scratch fic. Many of the Octavia x Scratch fics I've read are with Octavia's point of view so I wanted to try and make one with Vinyl's. Hope you enjoy it, comment any critisism, errors, anything you think might need fixing.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 47 )

you're not doing yourself any favors with the typo in the title, and these errors in the description, which drives readers away before they even start the fic:

"Our story begins as Vinyl Scratch takes a stroll around Canterlot to find her two friends Lyra and Bonbon. Turns out they are there to get Vinyl for Bonbon's birthday party. So the three mares set **off** to catch a train for Ponyville and at the train station Vinyl **sees** a **breathtaking** mare named Octavia. Is it love at first sight? Vinyl must know more about this mare.

This is an Octavia x Scratch fic. Many of the Octavia x Scratch fics I've read are with Octavia's point of view so I wanted to try and make one with Vinyl's. Hope you enjoy it, comment any critisism, errors, anything you think might need fixing. "

Aside, from the already stated spelling errors, all i have to say is that this story seems to have gone from 0 to 80 Mph in about 10 seconds. If i were you i would try to slow down the story a bit, but otherwise great job.

I agree with you that many fics are from the point of Octavia, well her personality has more pasion, and this sound interesting read the point of view of Vynil, I will track this story. :twilightsmile:

Other point is that I think you are going a little fast in the story, and I hope you focus more in the feelings of Vinyl, because in this capter she was some "cold and fast".

976082 Oups I guess I went through the description kinda fast and didn't check for errors. Thank you for helping I will fix it now.

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976272
That is my main issue with writing. I am not good at passing and so that makes it hard to follow. I will try and fix this chapter later. :derpyderp2: Any tips on how I can go about doing that?

EDIT: Okay I tried to fix as much as I can to my knowledge of passing. The intro goes a little slower, but I just don't know how I can fix it any more.

976462
I reread and good improvment :pinkiehappy:, the only advice is don't go too fast.

981684 Yah I will try to reread my new chapter. Thats the reason it wasn't updated yesterday. If I am completly satisfied today I might update, there are good chances of that. :yay:

Here is chapter 2. I reread it twice, but I am not all that happy with it. But it's not awful. Anyways hope you like it. :pinkiehappy:

It was alright... I am expecting more, and I am excited to see where you can take this story.:derpyderp2:

984975 By 'I am expecting more' do you mean from this chapter or from the story itself. And thanks for the read more will come shortly. :yay:

>> RainbowShy1241 More chapters. it really is going great so far. PS: How do I make your name, or anypony else's name, turn blue when i'm responding to something? I'm relatively new to this site.

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LOL when I started on this site it took me a while to figure out how to reply too. Just click on the double speach bubble at the top right corner of a comment and don't worry if it just shows numbers and instead of the username it's suposed to do that. Yeah I will be working on more soon!

I like this story a lot pace yourself though and let feelings build! :):yay:

989205 That is actually a very good idea :rainbowhuh: Letting the feelings build... Never thought of doing that thanks! More will come... eventually today I kinda wasn't in the mood so I have nothing for chapter three yet, but I'm sure it won't take weeks. Max is probably 4 days. :unsuresweetie:

Chapter 2 was much better! And pinkie and vinyl had a relationship? :pinkiegasp: good job though!

989280 Yeah I thought the story would have been boring if I was just describing how the party went. So I thought I would add a little bit of a 'Plot' ish thingy. Glad you liked it!

Lot better than the first chapter, keep up the good work

Hmm, I rather like this story so far. Could go with a little bit more length and discriptions but thats just my personal opinion. :twilightsmile: Great job, I'm looking forward to seeing more of this.

1015302 Thanks for the feedback! Well I'm almost done Chapter 3 and I will put more descriptions, besides it makes the chapters longer doesn't it. :yay: You could expect it tomorrow... Well later on today in a way cause it is 2:39A:M... Ahh never mind it'll be there soon. :derpyderp2:

No problem. Also no need to rush, I'd prefer to wait a bit if it means better quality :derpytongue2:.

Sorry it took so long just for this. I'm kinda busy with my DA and I opened a Tumblr (P.S: I'm stuck on what pony I should make the Tumblr about, any suggestions?) So yah, I wasn't going to finish it here, but I haven't updated in a while so I thought it wouldn't be too bad. Next chapter will be up sooner I hope.

The suspense is KILLING me!!! :pinkiehappy:

The suspense is KILLING me!!! :pinkiehappy:

I hope there won't be any of this :pinkiecrazy: going down. She seems to be getting into every story I'm reading lately. Other than that we must now wait for more:ajsleepy:

1027174 I don't understand what u mean by :pinkiecrazy: do you mean that she goes nuts? Cause I was just going to make them have a.... Never mind I don't wanna make a spoiler. Yeah sorry I can't update too often, but I have lots of things to do. I will try and update as fast as I can. I'm also hoping to bring 'Tavi in the next chapter.... Damn I have to stop giving out spoilers. :derpyderp2:

Oh and guys if you wanna see my art stuff go Here and I made a contest for everypony! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png Contest is with this image Here You should check it out! Just read the image description for more info.

1027235 Yea, I assumed that was the official sign of going bat shit insane, and I'm going to have to take a shot at that contest of yours.

This story is turning good, :pinkiecrazy:, waiting for the next chapter.

Omg I can't wait for the next chapter. I understand about updating troubles I now have free time myself but for a while I haven't been able to write or update for a while either. :) :pinkiehappy:

1046824 Well now thanks to my DA and my band, I don't have much time to update but I try and use as much time as I can on the story! :yay:

1204118 What I really wanted to do was put it on hiatus, but I have absolutly no time to put on this fic.

EDIT: Okay I wont cancel it, but I wont update too often cause I have school, my animation, shit load of pic requests. Basically this is a last priority, but it's still going to update

"Eyes up Vinyl."

Nice :rainbowlaugh:

Its great to see updates. It reminds me of how long its been since any majour updates form my own work...

2692673 It's been a while since the last time I was on this website in general. School really changed everything. Anyways, summer is in a few weeks so I will be updating more often

I have missed your updates and comments greatly but it is good to see you back. I've been slacking a lil on my own story too but New update on that soon. I like your story a lot just be careful somewhere there is a too instead of two in 'you two' but otherwise another excellent chapter. Can't wait for more!

Comment posted by RainbowShy1241 deleted Jun 13th, 2013

2706909
I'm not sure if my first comment posted... I will just rewrite it. (Curse you ponynet)

So... Yeah, I have missed this website a lot. All the stories and great comment I get from you and others. It's really good to be back. And I haven't checked your fic in a while, and there are like three updates from it I missed 0_0. I think I'll go look after this message.

Oh and by the way, I checked it out and "You too" is writen like that... But then again, the internetz can be wrong... Plus, I can't find where I wrote it... I got lazy over the year... Sorry :D

Well my friend HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I don't think that pinky knows yet seeing as she hasn't poped on and wished you one yet. :trixieshiftright: :pinkiesad2: Ah well hope it's a good one.

PS alcohol isn't really all it's cracked up to be. Take it from someone who has experience.

Oh yay...Alcohol...My sheets hate me from the last time I drank. Granted having over 5 different drinks and in a high amount probably had something to do with that. Stick with pop / Soda. Tastes better, cheaper and you don't act like dumbass after drinking it unless you want to.

Nice chapter Happy Birthday mine is July 2nd! Alcohol is overrated but I've been able to drink for almost 2 years! I like your pace! I really need to publish my next chapter.

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Thank you... Even though you posted this a while ago... I am once again stock pilled with work :facehoof: Happy Birthday, even though I am VERY late... I need to come here more often :derpytongue2:

that was terrifying and hallerius

:fluttercry:please finish the fic I'm dying to know what happens next I'm begin you. :fluttercry::applecry:

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