• Member Since 19th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 12th, 2013

Abstract Spectrum


T

There's something that all artists of music fear the most, the new generation. Some can't keep up with it, others just adjust to it and live on. One mare in particular couldn't keep up, she didn't want to. She loved the music she played, and she didn't want to change it. But as time went on, her time in the spotlight slowly ticked away. Her friends always loved her music, ever since they met. But time goes by, time brings changes, and they changed too. They were the only ones left who believed in her, but just like the old genres and generations of yesteryear, those thoughts and beliefs faded away. With no job, in Octavia's mind, she's got nothing to live for. What's the point in making music if no pony's going to listen to it? However, Octavia decides she wants to join Vinyl in performing the kind of music she makes that helps her stay on top.

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 47 )

Very promising start, I cant wait for more!

If I may make one suggestion, when you wrote: 'The announcer yelled, his voice bouncing off the walls of the large concert room, creating an echo.', it seemed to be repeating the same statement twice over. His voice bouncing off the walls isn't creating an echo, it IS an echo. Just something which I noticed.

interesting I guess I read to many fics where octy is cook :P

but the story seems good and so do you

have a thumb a fave and one :moustache:

Awesome!
Apart from the vague melodramatic backstory I really think this has potential.
I like how you have Vinyl more mature in this but still has that goofy element to her and Octavia's problem is easy to sympathize with.
Now go write more :moustache:

New chapter? Yay!
To reading!

I liked it, but its really really short. Try to aim for 3000 words, if you can.

Some constructive criticism, on the line:
"I...*sniff*... I just want to be good... I don't...*sniff*... I don't want to be left behind... I like my music..."
Perhaps take out the *sniffs*. It seems a bit unnatural in the writing.

"I... I just want to be good... I don't... I don't want to be left behind... I like my music..."
Looks a bit better, IMHO.

674274

I agree take out the *sniff*. It's not really used in prose.
Still impressed by your representation of Vinyl.

I'm 14, and a musician.
God damn 5-year-olds, stealing my time in the spotlight...

It's all very good, and I mean really good. I really hope you can continue this story some other time in the future after your break. Because I look forward to seeing the other chapters you're intending on publishing! :pinkiehappy:

Epic chapter! Keep 'em comin'! :pinkiehappy:

One does not simply make a new violin....

Ooh a twist! I like!

Oh my, I just realized you only have 15 likes. I think you deserve a lot more. I will tell some friends about this :)

I see what you did with the chapter names.:moustache: Your fic got me listening to a new band. Bravo.:scootangel: Good chapter and can't wait for the next.:pinkiehappy:

789860

HOLY HOT F**K SOMEONE ACTUALLY GOT IT :pinkiegasp:

I'm actually kinda surprised that you're the only one so far who's noticed the chapter names :rainbowwild:

And just because you have, the name of the next chapter is "Welcome To The Family" :trollestia:

I see what you did there in the first paragraph. It was based on the water monster from Amnesia: The Dark Descent, wasn't it?

This was actually funny and cute so no need to apologize :rainbowkiss:

I liked this chapter, made me laugh. I think the moment of Vinyl fainting was a touch overdone. It doesn't seem quite right to me. However, I can't imagine improving it, so.. well done :twilightsmile:

Oh my Celestia.... What have they done!!!:fluttercry:

Poor Vinyl has the sniffles! I always enjoy your updates and you never fail to amaze me. It's funny because most of the stories always show Lyra as NOT liking Vinyl but it's refreshing to see them getting along. :yay:

Why the sudden rush to end this? And Octavia's mother seems to just randomly appear? Also Vinyl and Tavi just make up almost instantly and all their problems are gone. I recommend that you read over your previous chapters and maybe write some plot notes. Then you should have a better idea of it overall which will lead to a much more satisfying ending. Take out the long lost mother and find a new way for them to realise that they are better as a musical duo than separate. Draw out the tension of them fighting more so that the reunion scene is more heart melting.

I try to never discourage young writers and with some re-working, this could be a good deal better. It's not a hopeless case alright so just keep learning about writing and you'll be fine. :twilightsmile:

922393

Thanks for the advice! I apologize for being in such a hurry to end this. I might come back to it soon and polish up the last chapter like you said. I was in such a hurry to end this because I wanted to start work on my new story, which is a huge re-write of previous stories I wrote back when I had a very faint idea of how to write. I'm sure anyone who likes a good romance story with a couple twists, turns, and tweaks here and there will enjoy my this next story.

ok seriously if my mother left me like octy's did and my father commited suicied because of it I would not have taken her coming back the way she did too lightly

It seems like Octavia went from emotionally distraught to "I'm about to be Brilliant" a little to quickly. Perhaps it's just me, but I don't think mood swings like that are typically common in Equestria. I could be horribly, horribly wrong of course... :twilightblush:

I mean no disrespect, lord knows I can't right half this good, but I think a little bit more detail is needed. While reading through It, I can't help but feel that something is missing...

Ehh.... You rushed this waaaay too fast dude.
Slow down a little will ya?

I just noticed that the chapters are all named after A Day To Remember song titles. You win the internet, good sir.
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

1079133

It's been that way for a while... maybe I should fix that.

HAHAHA! That's Soooo like Lyra to say that.

I'm really liking how this story is turning out. You always manage to leave on great cliffhangers!

Soooo Goooooood!!! Yess!


I'm really happy that Vinyl was able to bring her back. The scene at the hospital just made me cry, just heartbreaking.

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.

They are both screwed as fuck.

Time went by, time brought changes, and the ponies around us changed, too.


Aha, I see what you did there.

This chapter really had some deep emotion. Sorta felt like it got cut short though. Maybe it's just me.

Well that escalated quickly :applejackunsure: too quickly. :ajbemused: Slow it down. Your good at this, no need to rush

dem epic songs
the mixed classical and dubstep songs...the're art of one of the highest forms pure, simple and memorable

811392 You coulda had me fooled. Almost an exact replica.

You know, it's kinda sad the only reason I know of the believe in magic bit, is because of the pyro promo thing.

I want to find that one nay sayer, and give him confetti punch:ajbemused::twilightsheepish:

854975 she was realy tired so i could see it happen

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO how could u:flutterrage:

now its 2 we should hunt them down and gut them like fish.


edit
u should make a sequel or something i think it would be great :)

Hmm, promising start, I like it.
I feel bad for Tavi, I wanna give her a hug.

Nice start... nice start.

Awwwwww, poor Tavi Dx she needs all the hugs. I like classical music, its a good genre to listen to when one needs to cam down :D
Nice job.

Ooooohohohoo, awesome job well done.
Nice work on this one!

Glad to see Tavi happy!
And she was experimenting with THE WUBS! I loves it.

Good show~

Whoooooeeeee, what a chapter... that was rather depressing, jesus xD hehehe. Not a soul showed up?
I find that hard to believe, but awesome job regardless.

THAT. FIRST. PARAGRAPH. Holy sheet!
Maybe try and break it up a bit so it's not a massive wall of text? I looked at it and went :twilightoops:

Comment posted by Oliver Hellfire deleted Nov 30th, 2018
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