Captain Mare-vellous: Internal Dispute II (Now with 20% More Spider-Mare!)
Twilight smiled to herself as she sat on Rarity's chaise in one corner of the Golden Oak Library, sipping at her solo cup full of punch. Pinkie Pie's party was in full swing, and for once she had a chance to enjoy it instead of being overly concerned about Nightmare Moon's return. This time, though, she knew everything would turn out fine, so she was free to sit back and actually enjoy the very first party Pinkie threw for her.
Her meeting with each of her five friends had gone mostly unchanged, with the minor difference that she actually enjoyed herself this time around. Her Canterlot friends had even shown up late into the party, having finished Moondancer's party in Canterlot shortly before Twilight finished meeting her friends in Ponyville. She couldn't help but notice they were acting bit 'off', though. Was she really so different now that they were put off by her sudden change in demeanor? Though it made sense that they would feel that way, the thought worried Twilight.
But for the moment, she had a different problem to deal with.
"So... you're from the future?"
"Yes, Spike, we've been over this twice already." Twilight sighed. Spike was the only other one who knew about her secret outside of Celestia. Her secret... Twilight couldn't help but think of all the friendship reports she had sent to Celestia, both from herself and her friends, about telling the truth and not keeping secrets from your friends. Maybe, when she was ready, she would confess to her friends. But not yet.
"Okay," Spike said, "I get that you're still Twilight, just an older Twilight in my Twilight's body. But... how?"
"Look, Spike, just think about it like one of your comics. Like... remember the Nights of Future Present storyline from the Power Ponies comics?"
Spike blinked and was silent for a few moments. "You... read Power Ponies in the future?"
Twilight sighed. "No, but that doesn't stop you from constantly gushing about how cool every single story arc is."
Spike chuckled nervously and rubbed his arm. "Well... they are pretty cool..."
Twilight smiled and rolled her eyes. "Riiight... but you know how they send Fili-Second back in time to stop some future disaster?"
"Actually, it's Mistress Mare-velous. Fili-Second is sent back in Fili-Second Chances."
Twilight gave him a blank stare. "But you know what I'm referencing, right?"
"Yeah!" Spike smiled brightly, before scrunching his face up in confusion. "Wait... so were you sent back to avert some disaster several years from now?"
"No."
"Then... why'd you travel back in time?"
Twilight threw her head back in exasperation. "I don't know!" Her head landed squarely on the pillow of Rarity's chaise. "I just... woke up in the past. With everything I knew and loved reset back to square one." Twilight buried her face even deeper, only to be yanked out of the pillow and into a particularly pink hug.
"Hey now, Sparky, turn that frown upside-down!" Pinkie beamed, "You should be enjoying the party!"
Twilight sighed and smiled. "Yeah... you're right, Pinkie. Thanks."
"Don't mention it, Twilight!" Pinkie bounced backward and out of the hug. "I mean, second time's the charm, right?" Without giving Twilight a chance to respond, the pink party-planning pony had already bounced off into the thick of the party, leaving a very confused Twilight and Spike.
"Did she just...?"
Twilight frowned. "I'm... not sure if she can remember, or if she's just being Pinkie."
Regardless of what the answer to that was, Pinkie had a point. This time, Twilight would endeavor to enjoy her party. Pinkie could wait until later. And as said party dragged on through the night, Twilight couldn't help but look forward to the morning, or rather temporary lack thereof. Luna, the Elements, her friends... pretty soon, everything would be one step closer to being back to normal.
Twilight sighed contentedly as she sat in front of her desk, looking out the window at the bright and bustling town, a sunset on the horizon. Everything was good so far. She had her five friends back, Luna was back to normal, and she had made sure that Princess Celestia would accept friendship reports from any of her friends, should they learn new things about friendship. And now, with everything settled down, Twilight had taken the time to create graphs, bulleted lists, flowcharts, and timelines for all of the events she could remember happening over the next seven years.
Twilight immediately started seeing areas where she could improve, things she could tackle head-on earlier than she had before. With Starlight's cult not yet started, she could find Sunburst and get to her before she went full villain. With Tempest wandering the lands South of Equestria, Twilight had plenty of time to find her and teach her the magic of friendship before the Storm King could get to her. Tirek, Chrysalis, and plenty of others could be swiftly and easily dealt with. Perhaps, with some luck, Thorax could even be put in charge of the changelings ahead of schedule!
Twilight smiled down at the small, carefully compiled collection of information she had decided to send off to Celestia. After all, with the ability to avert so many disasters, it would be wasteful not to at least be prepared. Yawning, she decided to give the document one final read before she had Spike send it off.
"You wanted to speak with me, Princess?" Twilight fidgeted with her hair as she trotted down the steps to meet her mentor. While Twilight had expected a response after sending the documents, she had not expected Celestia to visit personally because of them.
"I did." Princess Celestia nodded. "It has to do with some of the... suggestions you made in your report."
Twilight sat down across from Celestia. "Suggestions?"
"Specifically, your suggestions about stopping certain future threats." Spike entered with tea for the two, carefully pouring both mares a cup. "Thank you, Spike."
Taking a sip of her tea, Celestia spoke again. "I looked into the Storm King you mentioned in your report, to find that he has not yet committed any punishable crimes. In fact, if your report on Tempest Shadow is accurate, then he will not begin doing so for a number of years."
"So... you can't take any action against him until it's already too late."
Celestia shook her head. "I will see what I can do as soon as he begins seizing land and invading other countries. But I will not arrest any creature who has not yet committed crimes based on the possibility that they might commit crimes in the future."
Twilight sighed. "I... understand. It wouldn't look good on a geopolitical scale if Equestria were to depose another nation seemingly at random." She looked up at her mentor. "I assume that there are other things you similarly disagree with?"
Celestia nodded. "Yes... Twilight, I am worried. What would happen to your future if we do these things? Reforming villains years before their time, stopping the bad guy before they even get a chance... decisions like this might erase the future you came from. Are you really willing to do that for the safety of Equestria?"
Twilight's face fell and she stared down into her tea. The thought had never occurred to her. Though she had planned for many, many contingencies, she had never once realized what changing her present might mean for the future. Would sacrificing the future she loved be worth the changes she would make?
Looking up at her mentor, she took a deep breath and gave her answer.
"I... I don't know." She shrank back. "I'm sorry..."
A hoof on Twilight's shoulder made her look up at a smiling, empathetic Celestia. "It's okay to not know sometimes. I've ruled for over eleven hundred years and even I'm not sure what to do sometimes." Celestia pulled her student into a hug. "But if you are to be a princess again someday, you may have to make hard decisions like this, often under great pressure."
"I know," Twilight said sadly. "But that doesn't make those decisions any easier." She sighed. "Is it right to let things simply play out the way that they did for some 'greater good', or because I selfishly want things to stay the same? Or is it more right to use this knowledge I have to make things turn out for the better?"
"Only you can make that decision." Celestia brought Twilight in closer. "It's a difficult one, but your heart knows what's right, even as it hurts."
Twilight giggled. "I recall you saying something similar about whether it was time for my student to go out on her own or not."
Celestia stood up and smiled. "I look forward to meeting her, whoever she may be."
Twilight nodded. "Thank you, princess. I think... I'll need a while to decide. I'll have Spike send you a letter when I have my answer."
Celestia nodded and turned to go. "That's all I ask."
"Celestia?"
Celestia turned back to Twilight, who was smiling warmly up at her mentor.
"Thank you."
Celestia smiled warmly in return. "You're welcome, my faithful student."
And with that, Celestia left the little library, leaving Twilight with her thoughts.
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8879514
Nope, no Season 9 spoilers here! I might have looked a few episodes into the future, though.
There are certainly things that can’t be allowed to change, such as Tirek’s rampage which got Twilight the last key to unlock the full power of harmony, but perhaps other things can be improved...
I can't wait to see how Celestia reacts when Twilight tells her about Sunset over in the human equestria.
It is an interesting philosophical question though, isn't it? Whether or not it's right to use foreknowledge to imprison a criminal before they actually commit the crime they're supposed to commit?
Even disregarding the possibility that the predictions may be inaccurate, if you imprison them before they've committed the crime, then haven't you imprisoned them without cause? And if you can imprison someone without cause, then why can't you just imprison anyone, at any time, for any reason? It's exactly the same, after all.
I guess the Trixie thing hasn't happened yet. Which episode did the other part happen in?
8879645
Trixie is maybe a week or two off from where Twilight currently is in the narrative, so she'll be addressed soon enough. The second chapter starts near the end of episode 1, then smash-cuts to the afternoon following episode 2, then smash-cuts to the following day.
Dunno if I am disappointed or not that the nightmare moon thing got skipped, I mean rewriting that encounter is common but I am curious how it played out. Also does Twilight have a chance to stop ponies like starlight or tempest from even going bad?
8879666
The following day of which episode?
8879590
Reminds me of Minority Report movie which dealt with this very topic.
8879682
The day after Episode 2.
8879678
I've read the Nightmare Moon conflict in enough fanfictions here that being the 99203rd writer to rewrite the scene just didn't feel like it was worth the effort, especially when very little changed. Twilight basically acted like she did in the premiere because she was worried she might mess something up if she didn't.
Theoretically Starlight, Trixie, and Tempest are just being headed off at the pass to prevent the bad things they do from happening, but with friendship instead of aggression and without the bad things happening, so no moral quandary there.
8879678
I get the feeling that's going to be a recurring theme with this story. Not so much can she stop them from going bad, because the most recent chapter indicates or at least very strongly implies that she can, but should she? Should she interfere in their lives using her knowledge of the future to stop them from making the choices that they eventually will? It's probably inarguable that doing so will lead to a brighter future, even if just slightly, but is it right to do so?
The answer to that question is, I feel, "It depends." After all, if Twilight just shows them that they have options opened to the that they either weren't aware of or didn't think were worth pursuing, and doesn't actually stop them from making the decisions they make — even if they end up making the exact same decisions — wouldn't that be ok? Wouldn't that still be a positive intervention that doesn't also diminish their agency?
That was a good and logical take Celestia has and I like where this is going.
wow...i can literally feel the authors boredom...
Part of the joy of reading a back in time fiction is to see how things would have been different.
How saying or doing a slightly different thing will change the future.
The first chapter captured that perfectly. Nothing was skipped, and we got a very strong start to the story.
This chapter feels like the author forced themselves to write it...
Skipping much of the story, and only writing the absolute minimum...this chapter feels like an outline that you would use to write a chapter rather than an actual chapter.
Could you imagine a powerful Starlight on Twilight's side without all the guilt and emotional baggage?
Also, Twilight may want to talk to Luna (And Celestia) about a certain punishment Luna puts on herself.
8879576
Kinda Wonder how she'll even deal with that situation. Outside of waiting the three seasons for Sunset to come back to Equestria.
She can't really use her foreknowledge because she wasn't in the human world for that early period. How do you talk Sunset out of what she wants? Unlike Starlight and Tempest, who haven't yet even conceived of what they are going to do, Sunset is on her dark path already.
As for Trixie, just tell her friends not to be assh**es to her during her performance. And lock Snips and Snails somewhere.
8879822
I could write the missing bits if you want as a bonus chapter, but I won't be responsible in the slightest if you wind up reading the bonus chapter and going "oh... so that's why he didn't write that". The differences between the show and the missing scenes are so minor that I might as well be adding a line here or there to the actual episodes' scripts. I'm skipping to the parts that are different, or that actually matter to the story in some way. Being the 9560th author to rewrite the season 1 premiere just doesn't interest me unless I want to bring something entirely new to the table. However, all of the more interesting stuff I want to do comes later in the story, and not in the premier portion.
8879841
Well I meant what if Twilight told Celestia about when she faces Sunset when she would steal her crown with the Element of Magic/Friendship in it. Also I never liked snips and snails in the show, if it weren't a kid show I would like them to be killed off some how.
8879695
Nobody knows how long has passed in between Episode 2 and 3. So, I guess 2.5? Also, maybe Twilight could help prevent RD and Gilda's friendship from being destroyed.
What about Moondancer? And is there romance in it?
8879846
Even minor changes matter, and help set up the story and the scene.
Even if you the author knows everything will be fine we the audience do not.
You could have had all of us wondering what would have happened differently if say Rainbow didnt crash into her.
small change that could have developed into something bigger, or not...and that keeps the audience interested as they make guesses on what will change here or there...what effect those changes might have if any.
Even if the end result is the same it is the different journey that each author takes that excites us, keeps us coming back for stories that we might have read 9985 times...because they are 9985 slightly different takes on a story we love.
many of us were looking forward to seeing your take on that story...but then you just skipped it...and then told us that nothing would be different and everything ends up the same...destroying any drama or mystery you could have had for this story.
Essentially it feels like going to the movies with someone that has already seen it sitting next you...telling you how the movie has been done before, and then telling you about the movie as you watch it...Promising they wont tell you about the "good" parts, but spoiling everything else...
I am not telling how to write your story I am jusy giving you my feed back, and write now it feels like you are not interested in this story.
8879884
If you wanna get technical, the show is impossible if the episodes happen one after the other. This fic takes that into account and rearranges episodes into a more believable order. More specifically, the next few episodes to happen are Griffon the Brush Off (Twilight is more dismissive of her friends than any other episode), Boast Busters (Twilight is afraid of showing magical prowess despite showing it in nearly every other episode), and Bridle Gossip (must be within a month of the premiere since Zecora comes to Ponyville once every month).
Aaannd, dead.
Normally I can believe the self-righteousness of the conservation of the timeline, but here, I ask what is the point? It's not like she can go forward. It's not like there is something to save. It's not like there's a spike missing a Twilight. With this type of reset non of that matters really besides it's not like things can go back to normal the knowledge is already there and ignoring it would be like letting yourself getting kicked a second time in the crotch, plain stupid.
Twilight would be the one having to commiting a faux-pass every time something bad happens or somepony ends up hurt when she could have done something to fix it.
And to whom ever said Trixie was the one who didn't do bad, there is a difference between showing off of your talents and humiliating others, she was the one who made the open invitation for others to show off, though I do agree on the whole locking snips and snails in a broom closet, or simply their rooms.
8879867
When it came to Trixie, Rainbow and Spike, especially, pissed me off in that episode. Especially Spike, who just sounded so petty.
Suddenly, consequence butterflies.
Many species of butterfly are know to inhabit the time-space continuum, including paradox butterflies, clockwork butterflies, timey wimey butterflies, you-can't-undo-this-because-it-already-happened butterflies, your-mom-thinks-future-you-is-hot butterflies, the-villain-has-a-time-machine-and-went-back-further-than-you butterflies, and monarch butterflies who look exactly like time-eater butterflies but are actually perfectly harmless.
8879890
I meant since it's happening in between episode 2 and 3, it would be known as episode 2.5
You never responded to my other questions. Maybe she should do some things the same, others should go differently? Like,for instance, become friends with Trixie? Maybe take Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle on as her apprentice in either magic or potions?
8879929
It's not known as episode 2.5, if that were the case then there would be multiple episode 2.5s because I place quite a lot of Season 1's episodes before episode 3.
And to answer those questions, Moondancer was part of the first chapter, was mentioned in this chapter, and will be more important in later chapters. No, there is no romance in this story. One of the story's conflict points is in the question of whether she should use her future knowledge to make things better, or be selfish and strive to preserve the timeline. (Of course, even if she chooses the latter, her personality is so different that the butterfly effect would change everything anyways.)
8879946
I meant Chapter 2 would Episode 2.5 if it was an episode.
8879929
Might want to leave the CMC alone here. it might interfere with their path to getting their cutie marks
8879914
This guy butterflies
Amazing so far. Keep it up, just have one little complaint, it felt a little rushed, pase it a little more, and it'll be fine.
I know you said you'll skip a bunch of chapters, but I just wanna see Twi run fucking circles around the new, unassuming Trixie
She could still just warn the countries in the storm king's path. "We've semi reliable information the storm king is planning major operations against your country, up to and including war."
Just make sure you deal with those filthy parrot pirate scum when he can't do it.
Can't wait to read more!
Twilight should know better than to change the future by now, so I really hope nothing changes too much.
*Somewhere in the multiverse, Discord laughs diabolically*
8880349
Twilight and Starlight both made some rookie temporal shenanigans mistakes in the past, sure, but neither lesson would entirely apply to Twilight's current situation. One was about living in the present without worrying incessantly about an unknown future. The other was about how every little act can lead to a mountain of consequences down the line.
However, even if this Twilight does nothing, enough is different now that her new future can never be the same. It's not "don't change the future" so much as how MUCH to change the future, and when changing the future is even appropriate. On one hand, she wants to at least get to a close approximate of the future she remembers. On the other hand, doing so would mean standing by idly and allowing characters like Trixie, Starlight, and Tempest to fall to darkness instead of helping them early.
There really isn't a right answer here.
The least Twilight could use these foreshadow knowledge to fix her embarrassed moments.
Well this looks interesting. Tossed onto my tracking shelf and up voted.
8877616
All that's been confirmed is the Season 8 stuff.
The rest is in "grain of salt" territory, IMO.
8880518
Except this is not really time travel. Just like Groundhog Day wasn't time travel. They would mean she eventually goes back. This is a case where she lives the entire thing all the way through. Do prophets mess with time by telling the future, thereby making it so that future doesn't happen. Just consider Twilight in the position of a prophet. She can provide information. It's the receiver who decides how to act on it. Heck, history has already changed because Twilight knows what happened originally. There is no going back from that.
This is a case where the nine seasons haven't happened yet. This is not the past in this case. This is the present.
8880720
That's what I said. Things can change between now and then. If MLP continues to do well, they could always add more seasons to gen 4.
Just like it was 'confirmed' that Babylon 5 was ending after season 4. Then we got another season.
Just like the original Star Trek was 'confirmed to being ending after the second season. Then there was another season.
I don't even now how many time Simpsons was 'confirmed' to be ending, only for it to keep going.
Plans change. Money talks. Companies get bought out and the new owner pushes their new property as far as they can and then some. (Hey, Disney.)
8880756
8880720
Samurai Jack, Young Justice, Kim Possible and many other series send their regards.
We definitely know some things won't stay the same... Case in point, Lesson Zero. Also, Changeling invasion might have a bit of a snag... Wait, I just thought of something, if Twilight uses that memory spell from when Discord attacked, will it make them remember the future only she knows?
I'm glad Tia brought that up, you always need to think about All the consequences of changing an event in the past, the good and the bad.
She should make a list of pros and cons for each event she plans on changing and how she could change them. I don't remember if inspiration manifestation was before or after the gala, but I hope twi does, that's a dangerous book.
Do you think they could capture thorax durring the invasion? If they did, he would never go to the crystal empire.
I do think that starlight can be stopped much earlier, but maybe just after she converted the town? Twi could find sunburst pretty early on, make friends, then call him up when they get the "cutie call" for the village, saying that there's said to be some brand new magic there that's never been seen before, and she needs help studying it. They could A, study the effects of having no cutiemark, B, study and make huge advancements in understanding cutiemarks, but then, they wouldn't mess with time later on, and starlight wouldn't know about time travel enough to help twilight figure out why she reset.
So many choices, such a good read. Love it so far, I hope you take if somewhere good.
8880803
Could you imagine Twilight trying to keep that the same? Knowing full well, that Cadence isn't really Cadence.
8880811
I just can't see Twilight leaving Starlight like that till then. She loves her friends and I just don't see Twilight leaving Starlight to be a miserable wreck till then, when she knows she can help her now. Maybe the village can still be founded, but in a more positive way. Their wan't anything wrong with the base of Starlight's idea. A community where nobody is treated differently or unfairly. It just needs some tweaking.
There is a saying. Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Twilight should change things that can obviously be better (with little or no argument about it that it wouldn't be better.) But be prepared for any unexpected problems that might turn up from that different path. Which is why she should bring in friends like Starlight, the Pillors, Tempest, Discord, etc. If something unexpected does come up, she has the backup to deal with it.
8879890
Since you’re trying to rearrange the episodes in a into a more logical order, you might want to give Oliver’s My Little Chronology project a look. (And then the rest of his “Points of Canon” blog series if you have a whole afternoon free.) It’s his attempt to wrangle all the episodes into a coherent chronology, keeping plot details and bits of character development as consistent as possible. Even if you don’t agree with all his conclusions, there’s lots of useful info for developing your own chronology.
That aside, I was actually somewhat dreading the possibility that this chapter would be the 9560th rewrite of the season 1 premiere. So kudos on skipping over all the bits that didn’t change. I’m much more interested in seeing where this story is going now. It’s always great when an author has a clear plan in mind, and is willing to cut material that isn’t relevant to the plan.
PINKIE KNOWS
8881155
Boy if that ain't the truth, he misses dozens of crucial details in episodes. For example, he places Sisterhooves Social, an event that canonically happens around midsummer aka the summer solstice, in autumn; and he places Ticket Master, when AJ is accepting help with her farm work, before Applebuck Season, when AJ learns to accept help in the first place; he also makes weird, nonsensical arguments about why Call of the Cutie has to be in summer (hint: it doesn't, he just misread and/or missed a lot of stuff)... I'm barely 10% into this timeline and I can already find a LOT that contradicts his points.
However, I agree that it has lots of useful info (though, a majority of that info I already have written down so far).
8880812
that would be pure hell for her, and also would mean she won't beat the shit out of the real one