Hiya! I'm Screwball. I came into existence a bit ago, and I'm still learning the ropes of reality and stuff. And apparently, I can tug those ropes? But other ponies say I shouldn't be able to. And also that I shouldn't, 'cause it's bad. I dunno about all that, though. Apparently, some guy named Discord was super mean with his reality-bending. Also, he might be my accidental dad? Gosh, everything is really confusing.
I've had the itch to write Screwball for a while now, and it would feel out-of-place to put it in my ongoing fic, so here it is! Writing this whenever I can between coding assignments. Expect copious amounts of Cuteball (is that a thing? it's a thing now). Also, expect tags to slowly be added since I don't wanna give everything away with the tags from day one.
Lol i'M just sooooo random guis!!!! Le xD! Le xD!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude. This is not 2014 dumblr.
9270851
It's not "lol random" so much as Screwball has the mind of an actual child right now, and the narration is from her perspective. She was only just created, from chaotic magic mind you, and as such she's very easily entertained and distracted. This will change as the story goes on and Screwball grows up more mentally. In the future, please try to be less rude with your comments.
9270971
Do your parents know you're using their computer?
9271086
You seem rather antagonistic. Are you okay?
9271104
Antagonistic? Nah. I'm always pleasant torwards people who expect their feelings to be safe when they visit a public forum on the Internet.
9271107
Oh, I don't particularly mind your attitude in terms of feeling personally attacked or what have you. It just concerns me that this is how you choose to present yourself. When people present themselves like this on the internet, it usually indicates a deeper issue. Is your home life okay?
9271125
I don't think you understood my response. Reread it, out loud if necessary.
9271143
Actions speak louder than words, darling. From what I've seen thus far of your online interactions, you seem to be antagonistic as your default, wording yourself specifically in an attempt to get a rise out of whomever you happen to be engaging with. You claim to subscribe to brutal honesty, and that others simply need to acquire "tougher skin", as it were. Yet your actions imply otherwise and lead me to be concerned about your psychological wellbeing. Thus, I repeat my question thrice: Are you okay?
9271172
Not gonna lie, I do view furries as little more than the untermensch they fantasize about being, but I gotta ask: How did you find me and my BoS posts?
9271172
Sorry if my vocabulary and linguistic tendencies are a little salty for you, but that's what happens when people have different backgrounds and they interact. I'm sure there's a class about that at your poof college.
There's either honest or dishonest. "Brutal honesty" is a phrase used by someone that doesn't like what's being said, but can't dispute it.
I do annual work for three different charities on top of my fifty hour week. Try again.
9271214
I am not sure how furries factor into this, nor do I know what you mean by "BoS". It takes very little effort to click on your profile or to look for comments of yours on this site. Your behavior here is rather consistent and is as I described.
As for your comment on ways of speaking causing hostility between groups of people, that is technically correct. There are, indeed, different ways that people use their speech, and that can cause communication issues or conflicts. However, there is a difference between being part of a certain social class, culture, et cetera and deliberately tailoring the way you talk to be antagonistic.
You're also technically correct about "brutal honesty" simply being total honesty. However, you're discarding nuance entirely. Brutal honesty is honesty that is said in a way that, intentionally or not, harms others emotionally (thus "brutal"). One can be fully honest without being brutally honest. "I don't like your jacket" and "your jacket is awful" are completely different sentences. One is completely true to reality: you are expressing your subjective opinion about the jacket. The other is true to your emotions, but disregards reality: you are claiming that the jacket objectively has a subjective quality. Brutal honesty is the latter.
Also, "I do charities" is not a get-out-of-trouble-free card. If you went and robbed a bank tomorrow, the officer would not let you go simply because you said: "oh, but I do charities!" People are allowed to be multifaceted: a person can do good things while also doing bad. Being virtuous in one regard does not mean that you are automatically virtuous in all regards.
From this conversation, however, I can see that I likely won't change your mind any time soon, nor will I be able to convince you to change your worldview. I'll pull out of this conversation, if only because I don't see any point in continuing. I hope someday you find happiness.
9271259
That is a whole new level of passive-aggression there. Are you Canadian?
I have to say this story caught my interest, please continue
9271328
It might be a few days before I do (due to a few due dates coming up for coding assignments I'm not done with yet), but I definitely will! Screwball is one of those background ponies that I personally feel got massively kicked to the curb by the fandom in favor of mainstays like Muffins/Derpy/Ditzy and Lyra. Last time she was genuinely popular was what... 2012? 2013? She's been completely ignored compared to most characters. Heck, Nyx (who isn't even from the actual show) has more fics about or containing her than Screwy does.
Also, I'm in a very unique position as a Screwball fic writer, because I've actually never read Bride/Daughter/Son-In-Law of Discord. I've actually only read one or two Screwy fics, period. It'll be interesting to see how much of what I do here is stuff that others already did, and how much ends up being original due to my quarantine from other Screwy content.
9271263
Didn't know that was passive-aggression... if you reply to this comment I will read it but I will not reply back, don't want to get into a flame war (yes, I have seen your comments on other stories)
Hmm, I wonder just who she'll be adopted by
Nor should you, always keep your guard up when it comes to parties... 'specially pinkie pie parties
9273552
The answer is: not Fluttershy. Why would she even be on Equestria's foster parent registry? The poor mare is still only halfway out of her shell at this point in the timeline.
Also, Bride/Daughter/Son-In-Law of Discord already has Floopyshoop as Screwy's mom. I don't know much about that trilogy, but I wanna avoid recreating the handful of details I already know.
9273569
I was thinking more along the lines of twilight 'bookhorse' sparkle
9273585
An interesting idea! Sadly, though, she's not on the foster parent registry and doesn't plan on it any time soon. I can definitely give you a sneak peek at the six local ponies who are signed up to be a potential foster parent, though. Not sure when the next chapter is gonna be out, so highlight spoiler tags at your own risk!
9273612
OK I want it to be rainbow, muffin/derpy/ditzy doo, or Kevin. Up to you though
9273623
We'll be getting a chapter with each as Screwy gets to test them all out before making her decision. (In Equestria, it's primarily the child's choice of which foster parent to choose.) And by "her" decision, I mean I'm hoping to have enough readers to hold a poll by then.
9273638
Ahh ok
You've got a pretty good story here so far! I admit that I haven't read any Screwball fics at all, and I don't know much about conventional depictions of her, so this will be unfamiliar ground for me. Still, everything has to have a start, right?
From what I can tell right now, you're taking an optimistic approach with this character. She's not horrified (yet) about how utterly strange her existence and being is; in a sense, you've portrayed her as chaos distilled into pony form. The prologue established that.
Speaking of the prologue: You did well with characterizing her in her first minutes of life. Nonchalant, happy-go-lucky—again, distilled chaos with no idea how normal works. Some of the stuff here is a bit hard to wrap my head around (like how she could consciously describe herself as un-being before), but that's probably because none of us just popped into reality with a fully conscious mind like her.
You made an interesting choice to time skip her almost a year ahead. It would've been neat to see her in the immediate aftermath of Discord's defeat instead of having her so far removed from the event, but then again, you did time this right after Keep Calm and Flutter On and, in this fic, soon before the anniversary of Return of Harmony's events, so I'll be keeping an eye on that. Perhaps you have something more creative up your sleeves here.
And...a foster parent arc, huh? I guess there'll be some shenanigans. I find it intriguing that Rainbow Dash is the first foster parent, though not just because of the experience she's had as Scootaloo's idol/sister-figure—she's the last one to become un-Discorded. Not sure if that'll come into play, but it's at least a coincidence.
On to how it's executed: I believe nailing the point of view of distilled chaos is difficult. On one hand, you need to do the usual things first-person P.O.V.'s have to do—don't use I's too much, don't slip on what the P.O.V. knows vs. what the writer knows (which you already know most likely). On the other, you have to keep up that sense of randomness which, judging by how you're characterizing Screwball, should come up once every twice an often unless she's focused. So far, you've done a good job on balancing randomness and flow, although, at the risk of sounding nit-picky, the random thoughts do hinder flow at times, like here:
The italicized section adds in a lot of space between what's supposedly round-the-corner question and answer. Or, at least, that's what I think—personally, I don't have much experience with first-person writing, so take that with a grain of salt.
Finally, while I generally don't approve of extra-narrative narrative in the author's notes, I believe what you're doing here is appropriate. The random nature of Screwball and her origin, the sense that she might mesh well with random Pinkie, and that Screwball is related to fourth-wall aware (if not breaking) Discord...you could do The Fourth Wall Will not Protect You-level stuff if you could with those notes and AMAs if that's what you're going for.
Overall, pretty good! Looking forward to what you got next!
9285811
Eep! Actual praise/critique!
I've yet to read the most popular Screwball fics (the Daughter of Discord stuff), but in general, she seems to be depicted as either a pre-existing pony warped by chaos magic (which pony varies by story), Discord's daughter who is mega sad about him being turned to stone, "big mega lolrandom #badwriting" in pony form, or... well, whatever DoD's Screwball is depicted as. However, I've never found a Screwball I'm a huge fan of, so I got an itch to write this! ...and now I have 3 fics planned. Oops.
Thank you! The prologue was probably the hardest to write thus far because I wanted to get her character just right, so I'm glad it came across well!
media.giphy.com/media/aWxbEGCqkiZFK/giphy.gif
I was initially planning on implementing the time skip much later in the story (between arc 2: the school and arc 3: the birthday), but decided to move the time skip to chapter 1 to generate a bit more intrigue and not feel like I skipped content between the 2nd and 3rd arc.
It's gonna come up next chapter, so it's barely a spoiler, but if you wanna know why RD is on the list... Rainbow Dash made the same mistaken assumption as the fandom, assuming Scoots was an orphan and signing up as a foster parent without first asking Scootaloo if she had guardians already. She never got around to removing herself from the list.
As for Rainbow coming last... it seems to be a weird detail about her and AJ. AJ is always first in anything, RD is always last, with the other 3 (or 4) in between in some order. Their Nightmare Moon trials, the order the CMC hear their cutie mark stories in, the order they're turned by Discord, the order they're fixed by Twilight, the order Twilight and "Cadance" visit them before the wedding (though to be fair Rainbow and Fluttershy tied for last since they were off doing their own thing)...
Yeah, that's probably the most difficult part with first-person where I'm in Screwy's head. She sorta just goes all over the place with her imagination, and there isn't always a good place to put it. In the example you gave, I tried to bring it back around by having her voice her most recent thought, thus continuing the conversation in a more natural way than simply cutting back and forth between 'Screwy has thoughts on the brain' and 'things are happening'. Whenever I find the transition to be too odd, I try to rewrite it so that it steers itself back into the conversation. Hopefully I get better as I keep writing for this story.
The AN stuff is semi-necessary in a fic told entirely from Screwy's POV. For example, she doesn't get to see Twilight's thoughts, so we don't know why Twilight acts the way she does sometimes--often because Screwy herself doesn't know. It would be weird of me to just have events randomly happen to Screwball because of stuff we never saw that happened off-screen, so I've been trying to set things up ahead of time with the AMA sections. I'd initially hoped a reader would ask questions and I'd have characters answer in a way that furthered the extra-peripheral plot, but so far I've not really gotten reader questions (which is fair: I have something like 20-30 filler questions that will either further the story or provide background details).
Also, didn't know if you caught it, but Screwball is already 4th-wall-ish to some degree! In Chapter 2, she asks Twilight what a Discord is, remembering not knowing the answer to that at some point. However, she'd never heard the name Discord in the story at that point: it was from the AMA she was asked at the end of Chapter 1! She may not have full awareness of the fourth wall, but as a practical newborn, she is quite the informational sponge, even if she has to sponge that information through dimensions.
Thanks!!
I'm on a short break so I can catch up with 3 of my final projects for 3 different programming courses, so the next 5-7 chapters (the rest of this arc) will be a little late. And once chapter 8 is up, I'm holding a strawpoll for who should be Screwy's new mom/dad/moms. Audience participation~!
9289761
If it doesn't exist, you make it exist, huh? It's actually a nice path to inspiration for writing.
Especially so, considering that the prologue (or the first chapter or whatever) is the hook. You had the task of convincing us that this depiction of Screwball is an interesting take on her, and that she'll have an interesting time ahead of her. I think you did it quite well.
I see. A good point, although if the arcs are quite long enough, you could still pull it off with a time skip later on. Have everyone established in Arc 1, have a conflict everyone thinks they'll be done with at the end of it, and then have a happily-ever-after during the time skip before Arc 2 kicks in.
I...haven't noticed that until now. Now that you pointed it out, it seems uncanny.
I think one way to do it is to make the chaotic tangents more numerous but a lot shorter. Like instead of her going off ten long tangents that could slug the pace down, have her go rapid-fire that keeps up with whatever conversation she's having. Take it with a grain of salt, though, since I've never done this kind of thing before.
It's an...interesting thing you're doing, to say the least. But, it's a high-risk, high-reward sort of thing. If it's good, it'll be great and you'll have shades of House of Leaves quality in your story, which isn't a common thing to confer. However, if it's bad, it'll come off as amateurish and too tell-y than showy.
The thing about it is: Why not go all in in immersing the reader into Screwball's mind? The reader can at least deduce that Twilight's curiosity will lead to her asking questions and her kind-heartedness will tell her to bring the filly to Ponyville for further help. However, if we're just seeing it from Screwball's eyes, then Twilight may seem more mysterious—and that could bring in intrigue.
Now, don't change the direction of this story because of that. It's just, I want to see the Author's Notes thing go well, but I'm telling you the risk that you're going for here and what to watch out for.
And, one last thing: Be careful about telling information about future story threads this early. Even with just the arc names, I could try and connect the dots, and maybe my guess won't be so far off. And, because of the arc names, I can already bet that she'll most likely have a foster parent, form a foster family, go to school and probably meet the CMC who unwittingly started the whole Discord thing, and have a grand meeting with her "father" at her birthday and perhaps have some philosophical reflections about the nature of her life.
I could be wrong, but there are those smarter than me who could just guess from the info you've given in the comments and probably will feel less impacted by what's next because they feel like they're hitting close to what's actually in the story.
I'm dim-witted, then.
You're welcome.
And, well...normally, I don't do audience participation things on fanfics, but why not?
Do you think Morse Code is easy or hard to learn?
9290850
In reality, what I'm calling "arcs" are closer to what some authors call "chapters". But I just... I can't write 10k words per chapter. I'd take 100 years to finish a fic, if I even got around to finishing the first chapter.
The reason I felt skipping between the second and third arcs was a bit weird is because I'd have to "tell not show" that a bunch of stuff happened off-screen for 11 months. Which... yeah, not ideal.
I know right??? Freaked me out a little once I noticed a pattern. I wonder if it's just a subconscious thing the writers do on accident?
Heck, now that I think about it, AJ was even the first character to get a focus episode (since episodes 1 to 3 are ensemble episodes with the whole cast). If 9.24 is an RD episode, I freaking swear. XD
That was one route I was considering, yeah. Another route is having her externalize her thoughts more, which would let her internal scatterbrained-ness contribute more to the world around her.
Yeah, fair enough. I'm not making the ANs required or anything, I'm just trying to make them primarily optional, extra material that helps the reader see a little behind the scenes. Also, about 75% of them won't be super heavy on plot. Most of them will be more like the first chapter's question, but I wanted to get a couple of the big ones out of the way first so I could demonstrate Screwy's 4th wall minor awareness and help out any readers who wanted to see inside of Twilight's head.
Fair enough! I just feel like Screwy getting a parent and going to school, as well as having her first birthday, is already pretty set up in the story itself, so I feel comfortable giving that away in comments. As for your predictions... I won't say how right or wrong you are about the Discord or philosophy bits (since saying anything about the veracity of either prediction would give a lot away regardless of what I answer with, methinks).
But as for the CMC prediction... I feel comfortable giving this one away. The CMC are crusading for cutie marks, something Screwball already has! So her ending up hanging out with them is pretty slim considering that the CMC never really hang out with non-blank flanks prior to getting their marks (and even then, it's just business). I personally feel like "I'm a filly time to meet the CMC" is a bit over-done anyways.
Have a preference on who answers the question?
9290886
Arcs don't have to be epicly long ventures. They could be short sets of chapters, which I guess is what you're aiming for.
You can choose not to tell or show any of the skipped stuff...at least in the beginning of the subsequent arc. If it's just Screwball getting used to things or otherwise mundane happenstance, you don't have to mention it—at best, drop hints and snippets, but not the whole thing on us.
I have a guess: Rainbow Dash is the lazy type while Applejack has a strong work ethic. It'd make sense, from this standpoint, to have Dash last and Applejack first.
That's a good idea. However, going this route would put her in danger of being too much like Pinkie Pie, with her random gags and jokes on a good day. You gotta differentiate much more if you choose this path.
Sure! I'm OK with it since we're dealing with Screwball, chaos, and acceptable fourth wall-breaking.
Not really. It's your ball.
That was sweet. It's been a few months so I hope that this story continues.
9505677
It will! I've been dealing with irl stuff since November, but in the next month I should be able to write again without it being for money.
This sounds interesting...
Waiting for Screwball's first day at school.
Wat? That irresponsible mare's name is on adoption list? What in tarnation is going on?
9638119
That's probably a line I'll change before I do the next chapter. I'm currently reconsidering what ponies are on the list.
9638180
Why change? I think it will be interesting to see. A mare who usually be seen sleeping around is actually looking for an adoption sure to raise a few eye-brows. The background story on that part alone should be interesting in and off itself.
Not to mention that Mayor would realize quickly that the filly is an 'Earth Pony'... until she 'float' and follow Dash to her cloud house.
9638243
Again, I'm still in the process of reconsidering. RD may or may not be removed from the list.
Awww, this is indeed very cute.
I'm gonna take a wild guess and say she's likely either ending up with Aurora's family, or staying at Fluttershy's with Discord. In any case, Discord might have an interesting reaction to her. Though I take it this is s3 / early s4 pre-Tirek Discord, so... he's not exactly a "responsible parent".
I mean... even less so than he already isn't.
Though I could see him pulling pranks with her.
...Oh, Pinkie Pie is a perfect candidate too of course.
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/b5e0a7fa-a208-4409-bbae-50edce44ee5a/d827kiw-9461f734-de17-4c4a-bf60-310838e6ca00.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2I1ZTBhN2ZhLWEyMDgtNDQwOS1iYmFlLTUwZWRjZTQ0ZWU1YVwvZDgyN2tpdy05NDYxZjczNC1kZTE3LTRjNGEtYmY2MC0zMTA4MzhlNmNhMDAucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.RXrpXNjhI9OMunuPo7QtfCVYFjNc4AuRW_CDqaEO3lY
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images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/b5e0a7fa-a208-4409-bbae-50edce44ee5a/d8850ie-d0db1272-ff76-48b8-b6ef-aa7aaa119762.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2I1ZTBhN2ZhLWEyMDgtNDQwOS1iYmFlLTUwZWRjZTQ0ZWU1YVwvZDg4NTBpZS1kMGRiMTI3Mi1mZjc2LTQ4YjgtYjZlZi1hYTdhYWExMTk3NjIucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.nSAOvmX_eD8aBa_mgaSHo6zE--9gkJB23b1dzjvHK0M
[image sources: [1] [2] [3], all courtesy of HareTrinity. Oh hey, that rhymed!
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9638265
Rainbow Dash, hmmm.
Raises the question: "Why isn't she adopting Scootaloo?" Or... let me guess, that was her reason for getting herself on that list in the first place, but then she found out Scootaloo actually has parents. Awkward.
If you want to take her off the list, you could incorporate that into the story, have Rainbow Dash be like "Oh, err, oh yeah... that list... eheh. uhm. yeaaaah."
Could still have a semi-awkward/comical scene with Dash trying to weasel her way out of the situation in some fashion, coming up with excuses, etc. "I... uh, have to go wash my, uh, clouds! Yeah, clouds. 'Cause... they're all gray. Need washing. Yeah." Only for Screwball to find her evermore frantic and ludicrous excuses interesting and offering to help. And then she actually gets Dash's clouds cleaned, dried, and polished to a shine, much to Dash's complete befuddlement.
Doubly hilarious if any chaotic act Screwball pulls happens whenever Dash isn't looking, so she's repeatedly confused about how Screwball accomplished anything.
Like... Dash says something about "uhm, well, you can't fly, so you can't exactly get up to my cloud house, so..." Then turns around for a moment to, I dunno, talk to Mayor Mare... turns back around... and Screwball is gone. Well, gone up to her cloud house, that is. "Wha- but how did- whu-"
Of course Dash just flat out saying the truth isn't an option, she's trying not to hurt the "poor filly's feelings", so she's trying to get her to not pick her without saying "I don't actually want to adopt you".
Except all of Dash's failing attempts only make Screwball find Dash's comical confused reactions even more funny.
Question for screw ball: potatoes, vanilla, spinach, ice cream fritters?
So, two years later, you still doing this?
10014646
I want to. But life is hectic. Today is the first day in over 6 months that I've had time to sit and write. And, in about a week, I won't have time until June.
EDIT: I have big meaty fingers and typing this on mobile accidentally unpublished this chapter for a few minutes...
9803922
Your whole RD thing is sorta close to what I originally had planned a year ago. And you kinda hit it on the mark with why RD is on the list. She wanted to adopt Scootaloo and then after she already applied she found out about Scoot's aunts and parents being ponies that exist. She's sort of an ask questions later pony, haha! So yeah in terms of potential foster homes she won't end up with RD.
9290886
UPDATE ON MY 3-YEAR-OLD COMMENT!!!
While Rainbow Dash wasn't the last character IN GENERAL to get a focus episode, Season 9 Episode 21, "Daring Doubt", was the last episode to focus on any of the Mane Six (22 being CMC, 23 being CMC/Big Mac/etc, and 24-26 being ensemble)... and its focus was on Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. The pattern strikes again!!!
Also I'm in a better place physically and mentally, and am done with college. So uhhh update this year maybe?
Is this ever going to continue? I really like how you write Screwball. Also, I really want to see what Rainbow's reaction is going to be to Screwball.
11131250
Up through last year, I always ended up too busy to continue. Now I have the time and am physically in a better place, but every time I sit down to write I just can't get into the swing of things. I may write some other stuff to get warmed up before I come back to this story.
How interesting
Lighthearted reading material. I like it!
Abandoned?
11578208
I keep intending to pick this story back up, but I just always have other things in my life I'd rather be doing. So... yeah, kind of.
11578386
Bummer. Nevertheless thanks for replying.