Because Fuck You, That's Why
Pewdiepie recklessly sped down the hill, somehow pedalling despite the fact that he was currently an equine.
“ELIJAH!” A voice yelled from the sky. “GO TO BED!”
“Shut up, mom! I’m writing about a swedish video gamer in the universe of my little pony!”
Elijah’s mother did not respond to this, and instead went to her medicine cabinet to consume multiple types of pills. Pewdiepony pedaled down the hill regardless, and Derpy followed.
“Damn it Pewdie, just give up already!” Derpy screamed, pedaling faster than before.
“No! The barrels must die!”
Derpy considered her options as the two sped down the hill. “I’ll give you this candy bar I found.”
Pewdiepie began to sweat. A whole candy bar? Just for him? This offer was almost too good to pass up...
“Huh? Where are we?” Luna’s eyes fluttered open, and the alicorn princess looked around in a confused state. She looked at Pewdiepie, then Derpy, then the bike, then back at Pewdiepie, then over at a conspicuously Lyra-shaped Meatball, then back at Derpy, then down at the bike, then back at Derpy, then back at Pewdiepie.
“What the holy sweet Jesus in a crackpipe are we doing here?”
Pewdie groaned and rolled his eyes. “Shut up, son...”
Luna looked up at the unicorn with sad puppy eyes. “But dad! I love you!”
“AH DON’T CAAAARRRRRREEEE!” Pewdie’s scream echoed through all of Equestria, waking up Chuck Norris from his three thousand year old slumber. Pewdie then proceeded to do and impossibled backflip, sending Luna spinning into the air, where she gracefully landed on a landmine.
There was a loud BOOM, and bits of Luna showered Pewdie and Derpy. Derpy shuddered in horror, but Pewdie was used to these things. He wiped Luna’s eyeball from his snout and peddled on through, running over several foals who were playing hopscotch on the side of this very large hill. Their skulls popped merrily to the sound of Pewdiepie’s retarded hyena laughter.
Derpy threw up in her mouth, and then vomited all over herself. Even being the evil muffin queen, she couldn’t handle gore of this magnitude.
She was spared further horrors as a large wrecking ball swung from the sky, and smashed her like a bug against a car windshield.
“WHAT THE F-” Derpy’s final words would be added to the “Hall of Not-so Memorable Villain Quotes”, located on 26 Clopper St, Fillydelphia.
Pewdiepie looked back at this, and laughed. “Once again, bros, we are-”
Not looking where you’re biking is not a very good idea, as Pewdiepie found out the hard way as he smashed into a wall of spikes.
Pewdiepie expired, having gone on this epic adventure, accomplishing nothing but killing multiply ponies, several of which were quite important, and pissing off practically the whole site of FIMfiction.
Suddenly, Pewdie’s eyes shot open. he was back in his bed, and he had... hands?
“Oh, thank Jeesbus! I have hands again!” Pewdie tenderly rubbed his nipples with his hands, promising to never leave them again.
“Get back to work, slave!” A squid with a wolf head levitated its way into the room, and cracked it’s whip at Pewdie. It wore a little nametag that said “Official Youtube Employee”.
“We don’t pay you to sleep! Now get back to work, we need to finish enslaving the rest of the human race!”
Pewdie dreary turned on his face cam, booted up “Amnesia: The Poopy Fart”, and put on a fake smile.
“How’s it going, bros? My name is Pewdiepie...”
THE END
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This god awful fic is finally over.
Let's see if we can hit over 100 likes!
Loved it
D: so, so, SAD! XD
Wat
LoL
You only need one more though, so that's good! You already have mine...I wish I could give you two or three but I can't .
1532403 Theres 101 Likes!! :D
This... is over?
1540919 Yup.
1541645 Oh well, moving on...
1541651 This was honesty the worst piece of trash I ever wrote. Pewdiepie would kill himself if he saw it.
That said, I had a lot of fun writing it
But hey, I have other stories! It's a troll new world out there.
hey, ye play portal 2 on pc? >_>
1541671 Nope. Don't even have the first one. I'm a poe boi.
1541683 damn it, ok, cya later, writer.
1549398 Hooray! Doesn't it feel good to be free of the shackles?
Waht a twist.
Let me guess, this fic is essentially Pewdie screaming rape for 4 hours. Then the ending. Because Pewdie Pie is terrible.
1579460
i1050.photobucket.com/albums/s404/some_guy123/PerhapsPeterGriffin.jpg
1579541 Your trolling skills are beginning to surpass myn! I will just target the orbital friendship cannon (which incidentily is less about friendship and more about blowing your town off the map) on your position.
1580312 PFFFT I am stronger then Liberty Prime! No orbital strike could harm me!
1581302 The orbital friendship cannon is exactly 20% more powerful then an orbital strike. Plus, it launchs me (Rainbow Dashtruction, ultra powered killing machine clone of Rainbow Dash) down the beam to punch you in the face. And liberty prim...oh right, tats the joke.
1581330 OH SHIT BRO
1581353 "Oh what was that, FUCK" The orbital friendship cannon is out of order again, some asshole technician decided to eat a sandwitch of the laser circuitry and the crumbs managed to fry the circuitry. GOD DAMNIT, why did I use logic defying circuitry, it always fails in logic defying ways.
1706657 You've done a terrible thing.
i1002.photobucket.com/albums/af148/djensen04/TMB/This-Pleases-Me.jpg
1725074
1730925 I'm afraid not.
Uuuummm... Pewdiepie has nothing to do with Smosh
1763613 YOU FOOL
HAVE YOU NOT READ THE FIRST STORY?
1853498 Genius.
heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
LOL
this was in an epsiode of pewds happy wheels
except the whol what the crackpipe are we doing here scene
My first word to this was; WHAT DA FUQ IS THIS!?, overall good story.
1891210
Da fahk did i just read. Loved it
Really good don't get me wrong, but I think you should have let pewdiepie kill the barrels and let Luna live. Just my opinion
Please don't kill me......
1922101 Nah, I prefer my sick twist. It's more... real.
lol PewDiePie sucks.
1998971 Kool
How is a nokia phone and a stick the hardest substance in the world?
2088245 HAve you ever been hit by a Nokia? Hurts man.
1998971
Respect man... he respect his army, and some of them are bronies.
1998971 And what are you trying to do here?
ct.fra.bz/i53/5/8/27/f_8cf8977a4d.jpg
I Like The Randomness Of The Story An I Think This Killed My Brony Mind And Replaced By A Bro Mind.......But I Think I Can Replace The Bro Mind Later.Kay,Seeya
2182478 Kay.
2237896 You'd get splinters ;_;
2294930 Yeah, me too. And keep in mind, I had to write this shit.
Coming back to this story really got me thinking. HOW THE FUCK DID IT GET OVER 138 LIKES?!
2313422 That fucked with my mind too.
2353514 Dunno.
We must all worship this man's fingers for cranking out a great story.
2353672 Oh please, don't do that
This was a terrible story.