Pewdiepie recklessly sped down the hill, somehow pedalling despite the fact that he was currently an equine.
“ELIJAH!” A voice yelled from the sky. “GO TO BED!”
“Shut up, mom! I’m writing about a swedish video gamer in the universe of my little pony!”
Elijah’s mother did not respond to this, and instead went to her medicine cabinet to consume multiple types of pills. Pewdiepony pedaled down the hill regardless, and Derpy followed.
“Damn it Pewdie, just give up already!” Derpy screamed, pedaling faster than before.
“No! The barrels must die!”
Derpy considered her options as the two sped down the hill. “I’ll give you this candy bar I found.”
Pewdiepie began to sweat. A whole candy bar? Just for him? This offer was almost too good to pass up...
“Huh? Where are we?” Luna’s eyes fluttered open, and the alicorn princess looked around in a confused state. She looked at Pewdiepie, then Derpy, then the bike, then back at Pewdiepie, then over at a conspicuously Lyra-shaped Meatball, then back at Derpy, then down at the bike, then back at Derpy, then back at Pewdiepie.
“What the holy sweet Jesus in a crackpipe are we doing here?”
Pewdie groaned and rolled his eyes. “Shut up, son...”
Luna looked up at the unicorn with sad puppy eyes. “But dad! I love you!”
“AH DON’T CAAAARRRRRREEEE!” Pewdie’s scream echoed through all of Equestria, waking up Chuck Norris from his three thousand year old slumber. Pewdie then proceeded to do and impossibled backflip, sending Luna spinning into the air, where she gracefully landed on a landmine.
There was a loud BOOM, and bits of Luna showered Pewdie and Derpy. Derpy shuddered in horror, but Pewdie was used to these things. He wiped Luna’s eyeball from his snout and peddled on through, running over several foals who were playing hopscotch on the side of this very large hill. Their skulls popped merrily to the sound of Pewdiepie’s retarded hyena laughter.
Derpy threw up in her mouth, and then vomited all over herself. Even being the evil muffin queen, she couldn’t handle gore of this magnitude.
She was spared further horrors as a large wrecking ball swung from the sky, and smashed her like a bug against a car windshield.
“WHAT THE F-” Derpy’s final words would be added to the “Hall of Not-so Memorable Villain Quotes”, located on 26 Clopper St, Fillydelphia.
Pewdiepie looked back at this, and laughed. “Once again, bros, we are-”
Not looking where you’re biking is not a very good idea, as Pewdiepie found out the hard way as he smashed into a wall of spikes.
Pewdiepie expired, having gone on this epic adventure, accomplishing nothing but killing multiply ponies, several of which were quite important, and pissing off practically the whole site of FIMfiction.
Suddenly, Pewdie’s eyes shot open. he was back in his bed, and he had... hands?
“Oh, thank Jeesbus! I have hands again!” Pewdie tenderly rubbed his nipples with his hands, promising to never leave them again.
“Get back to work, slave!” A squid with a wolf head levitated its way into the room, and cracked it’s whip at Pewdie. It wore a little nametag that said “Official Youtube Employee”.
“We don’t pay you to sleep! Now get back to work, we need to finish enslaving the rest of the human race!”
Pewdie dreary turned on his face cam, booted up “Amnesia: The Poopy Fart”, and put on a fake smile.
“How’s it going, bros? My name is Pewdiepie...”
THE END