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Mr Maximus

Joined October 2011
2,099 followers

Why do I write? Because I can't draw! I write mainly as an outlet, and don't take it too seriously. If you like what I write, awesome! If not, that's cool too.

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Twilight finds all this studying of magic rarely lends itself an opportunity to use it. Until a certain arrogant unicorn shows up to tout her abilities. It's the perfect opportunity to show the town her magical prowess...almost too perfect.

First Published
12th Dec 2011
Last Modified
12th Dec 2011

Comments ( 39 )

#1 · 142w, 13h ago · · ·

Criticism is always welcome, and your thoughts are greatly appreciated! I love hearing what was liked and not liked, so please don't hold back. I can take it I promise!

#2 · 142w, 13h ago · · ·

When I read this in Fanfiction.net my first thoughts about this were: fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-:flutterrage:

:rainbowhuh:so... all this time Trixie was an artificial magic being with a lifespan of 24 hours... no wonder why nopony ever heard of her before and after the Ursa minor Incident:rainbowderp:, in the words of the original author of that particular spell book: GOTCHA!:trollestia:, and Great Job Twilight :twilightblush:

Great job with the fic, I just hope this becomes a series!, it have the potential of that, specially with Twilight trying to covering up her true involvement in this, also this would explain the whole Lession Zero in wich probably Twilight didn't want to use "Trixie" again in a desperate attempt to write a friendship report to Trollest- I MEAN Celestia.

#3 · 142w, 13h ago · · ·

That sure was an interesting and original take on "Boast Busters". I liked it.

I would like to see an Epilogue to the story. Something like Twilight comforting Trixie in her final hour.

#4 · 142w, 11h ago · · ·

I thought it was good, but I think its a bad writing choice to flat out mention events that will happen in the future. Other than that good job.

#5 · 142w, 6h ago · · ·

>>63024

Thanks! I had fun getting this kinda insane theory out of my head. I thought about continuing it and addressing Trixie's final moments, but that would probably happen after I get done with my other multi chap fic. thanks again for the positivity!

#6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

...

No, you–

This is–

You did not just–

...

You did.

I applaud you. But yes, I agree blatantly referring to future events kills the immersion.

#7 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

>>63769

when you say future events, are you referring to the lesson zero reference or the reference toward the end about beating trixie?

Fin
#8 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

Neat idea!

though I agree with Jacky2734 the final hour of Trixie would be VERY interesting to read about.

if not that then it be sad thinking that she just died out in the woods somewhere...

                                                                                                      -Fin

#9 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

Aww at the end, its really cute.

The rest is Twilight playing mad magician.

Like the rest ,hope for some epilogue that will cover the final hours of Trixie and  Twilight learn something important, she cares about Trixie at least a bit so it should be a bit hard to see her "die".

#10 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

>>65297

glad you liked it! An epilogue is in the works, but it may be a bit before it comes out.

#11 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

This is dark, but I loved it.

#12 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

>>66468

gracias Mr. Potato!

#13 · 141w, 4d ago · · ·

>>63798

Yes, I'm talking about the Lesson Zero reference. To just mention the want-it-need-it spell is fine, but by flat out mentioning that Twilight will use it, you disrupt the flow of the narrative.

#14 · 141w, 4d ago · · ·

>>68364

Offending passage removed.

#15 · 130w, 3d ago · · ·

This is an excellent short read.  An interesting twist that puts boast busters into a different perspective, but the implications of such a book of spells existing are terrifying.  I can see Celestia needing those spells in the past (you need every trick to fight the spirit of chaos).  I can even see Celestia creating ponies to help the mane six learn a lesson (that's my new head canon to explain the one shot characters: Trixie, Flim and Flam, Pipsqueak, Gilda).  Sure, she made it so Twilight would find the book and learn a lesson about the dangers of playing god, but we never find out what happened to said book.

I hope Celestia took her book back, hiding it away in a vault to never see the light again.  One book with all the tools needed to take over the world.  Mind control the masses, create an army of merciless soldiers, make your own harem.  Even if Celestia does store the book in a Raiders of the Lost Ark-esq warehouse, Twilight still has the Lust it, Need it spell.  That alone is enough to cause severe consequences.

My word Maximus, you've doomed Equestria.  It's no longer a matter of if, but when.  So enjoy your cattle drives Big Mac.  Enjoy your ice cream Scootaloo.  If anything comes from this doom, it's Soarin's vengeance.

-Pontius Possum

#16 · 130w, 3d ago · · ·

>>278779 I actually thought about following this up, or making a 'book of secrets' type fic in a similar manner to 'Twilight finds magic book and tries spells not meant for mortals to try' type thing, but it'll have to wait till after all my other stuff is finished.

#17 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

I saw you wrote this.That means insta-track!

#18 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

This story! It's both amusing and, in my opinion, a little sad. I can't imagine an Equestria without Trixie.

#19 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

I dunno. It doesn't sit right with me. The concept is sound, but the execution has a few holes in it. It feels very much unfinished. This relationship wouldn't just change the meaning of the episode, but every single thing in it as well. It's not enough to just say she was feigning ignorance the whole time; this would lead to some deep and vastly conflicting emotions in Twilight every step of the way. Watching her friends get humiliated, getting cold hooves and backing out, then having to step back in and prove herself anyway, and finally watching her 'daughter' flee, humiliated... that's some powerful stuff, and it shouldn't just be glossed over. This is a great setup and it's not enough to say that the payoff is what we've already seen, especially with added layers upon layers like this.

It also raises the question of why Twilight was studying Ursas after the boast, when it was her who came up with the lie in the first place... but that's not so important right now.

Unfortunately I don't know if there's a way of filling in the gaps without giving us a blow-by-blow recap of the episode, which would get old fairly quickly. You may have backed yourself into a corner on that count. But as is, it just leaves me unsatisfied.

#20 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

>>285035

This is essentially my feeling as well. I just... can't buy it.

#21 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

Well  written short story will track for the epilogue.

#22 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

I really would like to see a sequel now. How hard would it be for Twilight to make Trixie real?

Oh, wait, I just realized the implications for Twixie. This is the path to Nightmare Sparkle, isn't it?

#23 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

#24 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

#25 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

Wow. You don't mess around, do you. Not only have you hinted at Lesson Zero, you've turned our hero into Twilight Frankenstein.

#26 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

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#28 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

#29 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

#30 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

My brain is full of... I dunno. Freaky!

#31 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

It's horrifically wrong. It has Twilight violating every possible moral and ethical principle: deceiving and humiliating her friends, imperiling her hometown, engaging in unethical magic... and for what? A covert way to show off her magic?

Stories that rewrite the main characters as evil pricks immediately get the thumbs down from me....and only an evil prick would do what Twilight does in this fic.

#32 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

>>286324 Meh. :ajsmug: I just write for fun, whether or not it sticks rigidly to canon, I don't really care. Thumbs down me to your heart's content.

>>285035 Yes, this actually was another quick write I did that was initially just the idea of Twilight creating Trixie. If there will be an epilogue, it'll be after all my other fics are finished up. As you said, I've written myself into a bit of a corner, but having said that, I do enjoy a challenge. I may amaze everyone with the epilogue or fall flat on my face, but writing is a learning experience, and I'm always learning. Anyway, what it was supposed to be overall was just a light-hearted (looking back now, a dark tag may have been appropriate given the philosophical implications) episode-ish romp through a random thought I had one day. I like to think it was that.

#33 · 130w, 21m ago · · ·

The idea seems interesting, although I must agree with the others saying that it somehow doesn't fit Twilight. Nevertheless, it was an interesting read. Certainly puts Trixie in a different light. It would be great to see the epilogue of it, if there's any work on it. :twilightsmile:

#34 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

That book's author seems to be insinuating something. Secretly-tyrant Celestia at the very least, some more direct other stuff at most. As a one-shot, this was good. Very non-canon of Twilight, but that's one of the things fanfiction exists for.

#35 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

Trixie is a golem? :rainbowderp: Did not see that one coming.

I like this, though. Thumbs up.

#36 · 125w, 3d ago · · ·

I think this needs a sequel.

#37 · 80w, 4d ago · · ·

I'd be wary of casting that "lust it, need it" spell on yourself or anypony you care about. I can't help but think of one time when a blog of Scootaloo based off Ask Pinkamina did a brief interactive text adventure (I wasn't there while it was going on, but there was a transcript). Somebody had the bright idea to have Smarty Pants cast the want it, need it spell on Scoots, after which point no course of action was discovered that didn't end in Scoots getting raped to death. So, moral of the story: when making yourself magically attractive don't overdo it.

Interesting idea.

#38 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

Twilight created Trixie? :trixieshiftleft: I believe it. Good story :twilightsheepish:

#39 · 39w, 6d ago · · ·

I liked it...and kinda didn't? (Yeah, that's weird I guess.)

It definitely feels like something that could happen, but it does kind of make Twilight look bad in a sense. I am glad that she had second thoughts on this idea, though. I guess it's that moral grey area that is tripping me up. Makes you think.

(Still gets a up vote for being creative though! :twilightsmile:)

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