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Many sicknesses have strange treatments. Sometimes a simple change in diet is needed. In other diseases, sunlight, exercise, or other oddities work wonders.
Some diseases have darker solutions. Brown ones, even. Twilight is about to learn about one of these diseases the hard way.
Contains medical discussion about bowel movements.
EDIT: Non-mature featured next day.
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OH NO
9944345
It's b e g u n
9944356
I once wrote a blog post about how much ponies poop. It was eye-opening, and honestly also worrisome. A pony plumber would never be lacking for business....
Talk about a shit-post.
It was both funny and horrifying in its implications.
Well done.
Who knew Trixie was feeling spiteful for her former rival?
When Twilight feels better and finds out about this, Trixie better start running!
And this is why one doesn't fuck with Trixie!
9944362
Do you mean honestly worrying on why you would blog about Ponies pooping or worrying about how much they poop! It's kinda hard to tell!
Talk about an absolute shit of a story...
I regret absolutely nothing in that statement.
9944379
Can't it be both?
9944394
Choosing both is a very safe answer but it is also not a very exciting answer. Not that answering a question on the clarifications of what specifically about ponies pooping bothering you is important to know... but yes, it can be both. I admit, part of the reason I asked was because I was bored and wondered what you would say!
Yup, it's a real thing! You can even get paid to donate it, in some places!
9944362
Now, take what your average show pony poops, and then take into account the height, and possibly weight differences, of Alicorns, and how they probably eat more. Remember Twilight's rather....large apetite, and Celestia's pastry love. RIP Celestia's royal toilet
9944487
Brah, I think you were taken advantage of by fetishists.
9944520
For once, this is not just a fetish but actually medically sound.
Holy shit, can we reclassify Trixie as a villain again? Because wow that's a special evil.
9944495
I mean, Celestia specifically lives in a building that was designed to house her, so at some point in the past thousand years she'd have invested in a toilet that can actually handle her even before you account for the fact that she doesn't fit on normal ones anyway. Also, I have her internal temperatures high enough that her waste products are gaseous and too high-pitched for most adult ponies to hear. The latter part I made up just now, but the idea of foals laughing at Celestia's farts and their parents not even believing that that's a thing makes me giggle along with them.
9944405
Well, okay, here’s why it’s both.
First off, there’s the fact that I was spending time researching how much ponies poop, as if there wasn’t anything better I could be doing with my time, and then due to the nature of the blog, I actually had to send it to a site moderator who wasn’t sure and sent it to another site moderator before it was okayed to print.
And then there was the fact that in the course of my research, and with some helpful calculations and additional research by my readers (who were probably also wondering why they were researching this topic), came the conclusion that an earth pony likely produces between 10 and 15 pounds of poop per day (4.5-6.8kg). That’s a lot!
Also in the course of research I discovered that foals are coprophagic, because just like in this story, they need to get that bacteria in their gut.
...and now you know all this, too! You’re welcome!
9944520
Brah, you assume I was the one who did it from my knowledge of it. Read it in a book. Gulp by Mary Roach. One of the first chapters, dude gets paid to poop for a hospital. Not the worst possible gig.
Jesus, Trixie. Now that's harsh.
I've... actually had C-Diff before. Twice (one of many downsides of being immunosuppressed). Let's just say, if this were Spike this had been happening to, the castle's plumbing system would've been blown to smithereens. Even if it is made of crystal.
Here we go! This is going to be a prank war thing now.
Ah, C-diff, my old nemesis.
As someone who's way too familiar with GI issues, Trixie's actions here are punishable by a direct solar strike. Or the mother of all UTIs.
I always knew Trixie could be mean, but that is just spiteful! What a crappy thing to do...both figuratively and quite literally!
Ugh! I'm awful!
9944787
Now I'm picturing Celestia being totally okay with the foals knowing this because the whole thing amuses her too. That's just how she rolls, after all.
Me: [reads the story] Hilarious
[reads the note from the author] Wait, WHAT 
?! Um... 
Also, Trixie, you're a POS
Ok... I just have to say...
Spike’s corundum, topaz, and emerald diet probably involves bacteria that can dissolve ROCK. So I don’t see this going anywhere good. Maybe aftermath of Taco Tuesday Hot Sauce Spectacular bad... if we’re lucky.
I’ll reiterate that introducing a dragon’s gut bacteria, which has to deal with precious gems and metals, into the gut of any other animal—alicorn or not—is probably a really crappy idea.
Edit: NO, that was not meant as a pun!
I'm surprised that Twilight didn't used Trixie and shove her up her ass since Twilight needed shit to be put up her plot.
Jokes aside. Funny story.
Without reading this, just first impressions only, all I can think is "Twilight has died of dysentery!"
THE MORE YOU KNOW
My word, I thought this was all some sort of joke, and then I read the author's note. O.O
9948720
The bigger problem is Salmonella, which is the Sauropsida equivalent of Mammals' E. Coli, causes severe sickness in most mammals. Even cow E. Coli doesn't play nice with human guts, so it's virtually impossible whatever flavor of Salmenolla Spike has won't make Twilight sick. Even just kissing his lips after he's cleaned himself with his tongue would probably land her in the hospital.
Really, Twilight should've gone around to her friends asking which of them would do it and has a similar diet. This would've been pretty funny as well.
He points out that it has to be someone who's diet matches Twi's, then picks a gem-eating dragon.
I liked Wave in the previous story, but he absolutely IS a crappy doctor.
Also, as soon as Purple learns about the actual cause, Trixie's gonna re-evaluate some of her life decisions.