This was a interesting first chapter I have to day. I don't agree with Rarity and her speciest views but she DID have a point. Humans are SUPER shitty animals. And honestly how would her kind react when they see how we have treated their kind over the hundreds of years. It isn't shocking they wouldn't like us very much. I mean what could we do to explain how we treated their kind on our world. And lets be honest here if Humans did find a world like their, how quickly would shit go VERY bad. We would end up going to war with the creatures of their world for sure, and with Magic they would put us down quickly or we would try to nuke them or something fucked up. I am just wondering Humans are known for being toxic creatures and I wonder how their interaction with the creatures of Spike's world have gone so far. I mean for a human to come there they have to give up everything and cut ties I would assume from their home world. SO what would bring humans to do such a thing. I can't help but think how many would abuse that and use this as a way to get away from our world, a.k.a the law, or any other reasons. It is just a interesting layout and I want to see where it will go from here.
I do think Rarity might have caused some major damage to the dynamic of the group. The whole core of this groups is it being able to function as a group of friends and Rarity put that and the countries security at risk. But honestly, not counting her speciest views, she is right. Spike didn't have to put up with all of that. He decided to do it under the hope she would like him, she never said do this and I will like you. He put that context onto her himself and now is angry because she doesn't return his feeling. I mean lets be honest here they weren't dating he blindsided her with marriage and through a fit when he didn't get the answer he wanted. Rarity didn't have to say yes and it is better she didn't than risk doing more damage. Did she do it in a bit of a bitch way, yes for sure, but she wasn't in the wrong. Spike losing his shit because he is hurt honestly does show how he does need to grow up a bit and think more about his actions before he does things.
8851934 Yeah, it is true. Humans are very shitty. Though I wrote it, it was a bitchy way Rarity pointed out the flaws. Did spike overreacted? Probably so with Rarity.
Like all other countries, we're always at the brink of war. both sides would lose a lot, but it's not the case here. I understand where you come from.
Could things go a bit differently? I have no idea, probably.
Some of the humans, like Rach, have no choice but to leave their home world. In needs of escaping of their past and start a new. I'll explain more of this topic as the chapters progress.
I really, really want to like this: we don't get many human/dragon shipfics on this site, especially ones starring Spike, but this fic is just too flawed for me to enjoy. Not only are there multiple grammatical errors, and far too many instances of "showing" instead of "telling", but you turned Rarity into a colossal bitch!
I mean, I know that Rarity's flawed; she can be vain, stuck up, and overdramatic at times. I can see her holding an unjustified grudge against humans for whatever reason, but she wouldn't act like this. And the way she treats Spike is downright despicable. Whether you intended to or not, you made it look as though she were taking advantage of his childish crush on her, and when he proposes to her, she acts like a haughty, stuck-up bitch!
Here's my suggestion: fix Rarity's characterization.If she's going to have a grudge against humans, have her express it in a more passive-aggressive way; maybe she refuses to talk to humans or acts coldly around them. And when Spike proposes, have her explain that she didn't tell him her true feelings because didn't want to break his heart. It'd make her look a lot less callous and much more likable.
In this universe's context. I find Rarity's actions believable. She's a heartless bitch who assumed Spike would only grow out of his feelings, yet never took any action to reject any advances, until now. I am most intrigued by this story, you have yourself a follower.
It is technically a series about a lost Prince for a lost species of pony known as a dracoris ( half Alicorn half dragon) he travels across Equestria looking for the six eggs of truth that relate to his kind you'll be able to learn more when you read the book but in the end Prince Breakup Tear is looking for his lost love and in the process he's also trying to take back the Kingdom at the Storm King took and he has to live with his sister turquoise while hiding a secret
TBH, Rarity did kinda deserve being told off by Spike.
She's become blind with rage at her grudge against humans, all over an event that has yet to be elaborated on. That coupled with the fact that she waited so long to actually tell Spike that she doesn't love him. Seriously, Rara? At this point, any anger or hate that Spike holds towards her is completely justified by sheer karma.
Anyways, while the setup for the story isn't perfect, it's still got me hooked! I look forward to future updates!
Here's to hoping Rarity gets jealous and Spike rejects her in return!
8861919 Midnight, darling.... HAS YOU BEEN PEEKING IN MY BRAIN!?!?! My creative brain in a sacred place! Yous gives out spoils!!! Curse you for getting hooked, you get a cookie Tosses cookie at chu
Comment posted by StarsOfAsh deleted Apr 14th, 2018
Comment posted by CrimsonRose97 deleted Apr 14th, 2018
Comment posted by StarsOfAsh deleted Apr 14th, 2018
Comment posted by StarsOfAsh deleted Apr 14th, 2018
Would it be wrong to say I'd be that guy on the side eating his food real fast in that moment? Goin like, "Oh shiit, bruh. She ain't shii." We need X out here with that emotional song. xD
*Sees new story* Hmm, new story? Looks interesting. What looks interesting? Just a new story I found in my favorites. A week on a cruise? Interesting name, and who's the female with Spike on the cover art? We'll find out, let's go.
*Story starts with the Mane 6 plus Starlight making their way through Canterlot to the port* Wait, Port? As in a seaport? Isn't Canterlot in the middle of Equestria? Maybe it is a airport? Maybe.
*Cue RD, PP, AJ, and RB talking about what they want to do on the cruise* I don't know about Rarity this time, What do you mean inner? Spike was on the cover art hugging the human, and nowhere in sight was Rarity. So what are you saying? I have a few... inklings, of an idea, i'll say more later.
*Starlight letting the girls know there is a plethora of other activities on the cruise* Remember the first time we went on a cruise? How could I forget, fourteen going on fifteen. Food was good. Parents still took you to the kiddie section, bless their souls. I was aching weeks after the "naptime" bullshit, I was a teenager, not a fucking toddler.
*Twilight asking Rarity where her bags are* Three guesses as to where, and you don't need the other two guesses.
*Story shows Spike still being treated as the errand boy to Rarity* **Sighs** Luciferdamnit Spike. Spike, why? Still as in love with Rarity as ever.
*Story goes into detail Spike, clothing, age, height, ECT* Damn, look at him. First time we've seen him without that atrocious purple hoodie, and he rocks the look well. Honestly, if I saw that in a bar and he was interested in me... well... **Light blush appears on my face** **Snorts** Pervert. Eyy, tell me i'm wrong, you tell me you wouldn't want to tap that, for god's sake you're a demon. **Takes another look** You're not wrong.
*Story shows why Spike is here* Ah, he's Rarity's plus one, why do I get the feeling that is wasn't in a romantic interest? Dude, cover art. Rarity's nowhere to be found, besides one of the tags is Drama. Oh dear, gem horse will be dramatic gem horse. Most likely moreso then usual.
*Story shows Spike's reason for coming* What are the chances that Rarity accepts Spike's proposal? Out of ten chances in different multiverses, survey says, 0/10 successful proposals. If the odds were stacked in Spike's favor? Survey says, 1/10. Why do I get the feeling madam Fate will kick Spike in the balls at the beginning of this trip? Maybe it'll be to knock some sense into him.
*Story introduces humans into the mix as workers on the ship, and how they came to Equestria* You know, I could honestly see that, so long as there isn't any superiority bullshit going on. Crim, it's Equestria, ponies that are either racist, xenophobic, or ignorant to other races so much that it blinds them with utter fear. At least they look like they aren't being abused and are being given wages.
*Cue Rarity's disgust at the fact that humans are on the ship* Well, can't say i'm surprised. Rarity, the high class belle of the ball, the dame of fashion, the elegant and generous, the Xenophobic harlot. And no one is surprised it is the white pony who's the racist.
*Story lets known that Rarity had an incident with humans a year ago* What do you think happened? Dress line got either snatched or destroyed? No, Rarity would've forgave them and helped out. Sweetie got assaulted? Maybe but... that wouldn't be held on if the human apologized. Then what? I don't... **Lightbulbs pop on in our heads** You don't think, Maybe, it is a possibility.
*Story shows Spike in Lala-land when two unicorn females and a human female with a shitload of painting supplies appear* Hello hello hello. Plot convenience!
*Story shows human female struggling to carry the supplies, with the two unicorns behind her telling they could help her with her luggage, the girl turning the offer down* A bit headstrong ain't she? Reminds me of Aya.
*As fate would have it, one of the paint tins fall off the luggage holder and rolls down to where Rarity was* Oh, Shit.
*Paint tin explode over the bottom of Rarity's dress and she starts throwing a fit* Oh fuck. Do I need to get the riot shield? You might want to, just in case our Rarity breaks down the door to the- **From across the house** WHO SULLIED ONE OF MY WORKS OF ART! I WILL HAVE THEIR HEADS! Crim, Lock the door, NOW! *Crimson quickly rushes over to a button that says "ANTI-MAGIC" and smashes it with his fist, locking them in* Crisis averted? For the next four hours.
*The human female tries her best to clean up her mess profusely apologizing, with Rarity still throwing a hissy fit* Rarity, can you just, not, can you just, NOT?! Drama horse is especially being dramatic today.
*Rarity makes the mistake of telling the human female, in CIVILIAN CLOTHING to take their bags to their rooms* *Silence* *Silence* **Both take a deep breath** AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!*Smashes his head into the desk repeatedly* WHAT THE UNHOLY LOVING FUCK YOU XENOPHOBIC CUNT! SHE'S IN CIVILIAN CLOTHING YOU FUCKWIT! *Stops smashing his head into the desk, muffled* I never thought Rarity, the fashionista of the group to not realize that she's in normal clothes.
*The human female gets justifiably pissed and verbally lashes Rarity* Damn, girl's got some bite. I like it. Might be one of the better (selfinsert?) heroines we've seen.
*Twilight quickly defuses the situation by dragging the girls off* What else could she do at that point, other then drag them off? Drama horse was out for blood and the human looked ready to beat her face in.
*Spike stays behind to help the human and apologizes to her about Rarity's actions* He has nothing to apologize for, he wasn't the one who threw a fit over an expensive self-made dress. Which might I add is a bit much to go on a standard cruise.
*Spike notices she is wearing something he has an interest in* Hold up, is this? I think it is.
*Both start lightly geeking out over the same band* Am I wrong in thinking this is a cute couple? Nah, i'm in the same boat as you. **All rabid Spike/Cannon Mare shippers cry out in agony**
*After the cleanup, the human teases Spike about the seven females waiting for him and his flustered expression* I still find it cute. You ain't the only one, there is much to see in the future.
*Before she leaves, she gets a namedrop, Rachel* Hmm, it fits. Yeah, it fits nicely.
*Scene shifts to a later time, with the mane 6, Spike, and Starlight* Back with the cannon crew. Is it wrong to say that it doesn't feel right as of now? I won't deny you saying that.
*Rarity beckoning Spike to do her sunscreen which he does with reckless abandon* God, just kill me now. Spike, buddy, please. This just makes me want to slap him. Upside the head or in the face? Both.
*Distraction in the volleyball getting lost over the railing, Spike getting it himself* **Sighs** Oh thank god, a moment of breath. I swear, Spike is thinking more with his dick than his brain, and Rarity is milking it up. Bet ya that's what she'll try to deny it.
*Spike returns to Rarity and he sees she is flirting with another male* Christ Rarity, if you don't like Spike, JUST SAY IT! I don't even think she realizes how badly she's fucking up right now. I'll say it now, Dragon rage HURTS like a motherfucker. Burns, right? Try burns, broken bones, torn muscles and ripped ligaments.
*Scene showing the rest of the day where Spike tries to get closer to Rarity, and failing miserably each time* God this hurts my eyes, brain, and soul. Eyes and brain because you're seeing this, but soul? The fact that she's blatantly ignoring him instead of laying down her full hand.
*Scene shifts to night and both Spike and Twilight are getting ready for the party that the captain is throwing* Hey, I need to know something. What? How badly will this go? I'm not sure how badly this will go, but by this chapter alone, it will be messy. How messy? My guess? Full cleanup crew. For the mess? More likely for the pieces.
*Twilight putting the last finishing touches on themselves and Spike grabbing the proposal ringbox* Well, showtime. I'll bring the mop.
*They show up at the party and Spike can barely control himself at the sight of Rarity* You remember how you said it'll be messy? Yeah? I think it's starting.
*Twilight knocking some sense into Spike, telling him to control himself* I know she's the princess and all, but does she have to act like a bitch? I'm fairly certain Spike had to control you a few times princess, you are in no room to talk.
*The mane 6 showing up and Rarity asking Spike to a dance* Fuck you drama horse. She isn't even being subtle right now is she? Nope, he's just too oblivious to see it.
*After dancing, Rarity telling him to get a drink and Spike quickly scurrying off to get it* I loathe that type of a personality and that type of person. Join the club.
*Spike running into Flutters and having to deal with a drunken pony* That's what you get for messing with a dragon's family. Quite right, why she was alone I will never know.
*Spike returns to where Rarity was, when two familiar looking mares walk up to Rarity* Shit's about to hit the fan? Oh yes.
*The mares start talking with Rarity, with her being Xenophobic to the two of them* She just stepped on a landmine. As I said, full cleanup crew.
*The twins, tired of Rarity's insults dump their drinks on Rarity and walk off, leaving her to her own selfpity, while the males that once swarmed her, leave like she's covered in shit* As dickish as that was, it was worth it. You might as well have dumped her in the pool as well, she's not looking happy.
*Spike realizing he didn't do anything, comes over and tries to make things better* I can't watch this, Inner, the Junior. Which round? 750 grain.
*Spike tries to make things better, only for Rarity to continue throwing a fit* **Pulls out a snubnose SW500 and one 750 grain 50 cal round** You really doing this? We have the medic's Medi-gun, you can regrow my limb.
*Spike tries to tell Rarity what she means to him and proposes* **Loads the bullet into the cylinder and spins it, then throws it closed** Let's see what happens. Lets.
*Rarity turns down Spike's proposal, harshly* **Places the gun on the desk** Well now, don't that beat all. Harsh.
*Spike's heart starts cracking and Rarity keeps verbally beating into Spike* Oh shit, this is not good. How bad is it? Dragon's broken heart, if a dragon's heart is broken the snap at anyone and anything to feed that anger. So, still gonna need the cleanup crew. If there is even a ship left.
*One final crack and Spike becomes enraged at Rarity* If she was smart she'd run. Though no, she's not. Oh look at me, i'm Rarity, i'm the element of generosity, spirit of giving, but I couldn't give a damn about the dragon I just crushed under my hoof. Shower me in love shower me in gifts shower me in adoration, WHO THE FUCK CARES IF I HURT ANYONE?! I'M FUCKING RARITY! **Looks at the barred door** You might want to cool it, she's still in the house. I was talking about this Rarity, the Rarity we have isn't a goddamn Xenophobe, hell, she's had relations with at least three different races.
*Spike, justifiably pissed with Rarity, snaps at her* How ignorant is she that she didn't speak with him? I'd say pretty ignorant.
*Spike verbally tears chunks off Rarity, crushing the ringbox in his hand* Looks like he's done with her. I don't know whether to laugh my ass off, cheer, or just be disappointed.
*Rarity tries in vain to get Spike to calm down* Hon, the last thing he wants to hear is your voice, so I will say this now and you'd better listen, *ahem* SHUT THE FUCK UP! You blew your chance Rarity, he isn't going to listen.
*Spike calls her what she always has been and throws the ringbox at Rarity's face, only for Dash to get her out of the way* *Silence* *Silence* Dash... Fuck you, so much.
*Spike takes off to another portion of the ship to sob his heart out* I swear to god if they try to find him or Rarity acts like nothing happened tomorrow. I would be pissed with you, but I get it. Just, fuck her.
*Final scene of a mysterious figure watching Spike from afar* Who might that be? Maybe Rachel? Maybe.
FINAL THOUGHT ON CH1 Great beginning, middle and end, and good drama between the original cast and the new girl, also, Fuck you Rarity. It was good, can't wait to see more.
Dude, honestly, that has got to be one of the best comments I ever had with this story, I shit you not. I am glad you enjoy the story and thank you for finding this.
Great work can't wait for the next chapter
Holy shit Rarity's a bitch. I lime where this is going keep it up man.
8851637
Don't get me wrong, Rarity is one of my fav ponies, I'm not doubting her, but hell it was fun doing that.
8851652
Well you did awesomely dude and I can't wait for the next chapter.
This was a interesting first chapter I have to day. I don't agree with Rarity and her speciest views but she DID have a point. Humans are SUPER shitty animals. And honestly how would her kind react when they see how we have treated their kind over the hundreds of years. It isn't shocking they wouldn't like us very much. I mean what could we do to explain how we treated their kind on our world. And lets be honest here if Humans did find a world like their, how quickly would shit go VERY bad. We would end up going to war with the creatures of their world for sure, and with Magic they would put us down quickly or we would try to nuke them or something fucked up. I am just wondering Humans are known for being toxic creatures and I wonder how their interaction with the creatures of Spike's world have gone so far. I mean for a human to come there they have to give up everything and cut ties I would assume from their home world. SO what would bring humans to do such a thing. I can't help but think how many would abuse that and use this as a way to get away from our world, a.k.a the law, or any other reasons. It is just a interesting layout and I want to see where it will go from here.
I do think Rarity might have caused some major damage to the dynamic of the group. The whole core of this groups is it being able to function as a group of friends and Rarity put that and the countries security at risk. But honestly, not counting her speciest views, she is right. Spike didn't have to put up with all of that. He decided to do it under the hope she would like him, she never said do this and I will like you. He put that context onto her himself and now is angry because she doesn't return his feeling. I mean lets be honest here they weren't dating he blindsided her with marriage and through a fit when he didn't get the answer he wanted. Rarity didn't have to say yes and it is better she didn't than risk doing more damage. Did she do it in a bit of a bitch way, yes for sure, but she wasn't in the wrong. Spike losing his shit because he is hurt honestly does show how he does need to grow up a bit and think more about his actions before he does things.
8851934
Yeah, it is true. Humans are very shitty. Though I wrote it, it was a bitchy way Rarity pointed out the flaws. Did spike overreacted? Probably so with Rarity.
Like all other countries, we're always at the brink of war. both sides would lose a lot, but it's not the case here. I understand where you come from.
Could things go a bit differently? I have no idea, probably.
Some of the humans, like Rach, have no choice but to leave their home world. In needs of escaping of their past and start a new. I'll explain more of this topic as the chapters progress.
I like the opinon you have on this. Thank you :)
I want to like this.
I really, really want to like this: we don't get many human/dragon shipfics on this site, especially ones starring Spike, but this fic is just too flawed for me to enjoy. Not only are there multiple grammatical errors, and far too many instances of "showing" instead of "telling", but you turned Rarity into a colossal bitch!
I mean, I know that Rarity's flawed; she can be vain, stuck up, and overdramatic at times. I can see her holding an unjustified grudge against humans for whatever reason, but she wouldn't act like this. And the way she treats Spike is downright despicable. Whether you intended to or not, you made it look as though she were taking advantage of his childish crush on her, and when he proposes to her, she acts like a haughty, stuck-up bitch!
Here's my suggestion: fix Rarity's characterization.If she's going to have a grudge against humans, have her express it in a more passive-aggressive way; maybe she refuses to talk to humans or acts coldly around them. And when Spike proposes, have her explain that she didn't tell him her true feelings because didn't want to break his heart. It'd make her look a lot less callous and much more likable.
Just something to consider.
Love this story.
But also happens to come at a time that I absolutely hate Rarity.
Look forward to the entire series.
8852496
I get what you're coming from. I do, truly. I'll work on that on the next chapter. Just bare with me please.
I'm honestly interested in seeing how this story goes. Just wish Rarity wasn't such a hypocrite about this.
8853292
I am going to fix that later on on the chapters :)
In this universe's context. I find Rarity's actions believable. She's a heartless bitch who assumed Spike would only grow out of his feelings, yet never took any action to reject any advances, until now. I am most intrigued by this story, you have yourself a follower.
8853748
Thank you!
8853839
Can't wait for the next chapter.
I have a feeling that what Rarity did to Spike is gonna come back to haunt her later.
8854386
Oh it is lmao
Interesting so far going to have to track this
Well, the story idea sounds fascinating... I’ll give this a shot.
reads first chapter
gifimage.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/you-had-my-curiosity-gif-8.gif
8856193
Best comment I have read so far today XD
If this is going to be a series, maybe it can help with my series
8860507
This is. What series are you working on?
It is technically a series about a lost Prince for a lost species of pony known as a dracoris ( half Alicorn half dragon) he travels across Equestria looking for the six eggs of truth that relate to his kind you'll be able to learn more when you read the book but in the end Prince Breakup Tear is looking for his lost love and in the process he's also trying to take back the Kingdom at the Storm King took and he has to live with his sister turquoise while hiding a secret
what Breakup Tear is supposed to look like is actually my profile photo
8860603
i forgot to mention that he is in love with sombra
8860608
Never read the book sadly. but the concept sounds good
TBH, Rarity did kinda deserve being told off by Spike.
She's become blind with rage at her grudge against humans, all over an event that has yet to be elaborated on. That coupled with the fact that she waited so long to actually tell Spike that she doesn't love him. Seriously, Rara? At this point, any anger or hate that Spike holds towards her is completely justified by sheer karma.
Anyways, while the setup for the story isn't perfect, it's still got me hooked! I look forward to future updates!
Here's to hoping Rarity gets jealous and Spike rejects her in return!
8861919
Midnight, darling.... HAS YOU BEEN PEEKING IN MY BRAIN!?!?! My creative brain in a sacred place! Yous gives out spoils!!! Curse you for getting hooked, you get a cookie Tosses cookie at chu
Would it be wrong to say I'd be that guy on the side eating his food real fast in that moment? Goin like, "Oh shiit, bruh. She ain't shii." We need X out here with that emotional song. xD
9080591
I'll probably be like
Wow. Rarity.. You a bitch
Wow...
#savage
9258350
Wow..
#doublesavage
Asura: "Well, 'least he grew some big 'ole balls in the end."
Vanir: "Better 't have 'em danglin' than in the mouth a some high-class hussy."
*Sees new story*
Hmm, new story? Looks interesting.
What looks interesting?
Just a new story I found in my favorites.
A week on a cruise? Interesting name, and who's the female with Spike on the cover art?
We'll find out, let's go.
*Story starts with the Mane 6 plus Starlight making their way through Canterlot to the port*
Wait, Port? As in a seaport?
Isn't Canterlot in the middle of Equestria?
Maybe it is a airport?
Maybe.
*Cue RD, PP, AJ, and RB talking about what they want to do on the cruise*
I don't know about Rarity this time,
What do you mean inner?
Spike was on the cover art hugging the human, and nowhere in sight was Rarity.
So what are you saying?
I have a few... inklings, of an idea, i'll say more later.
*Starlight letting the girls know there is a plethora of other activities on the cruise*
Remember the first time we went on a cruise?
How could I forget, fourteen going on fifteen. Food was good.
Parents still took you to the kiddie section, bless their souls.
I was aching weeks after the "naptime" bullshit, I was a teenager, not a fucking toddler.
*Twilight asking Rarity where her bags are*
Three guesses as to where, and you don't need the other two guesses.
*Story shows Spike still being treated as the errand boy to Rarity*
**Sighs** Luciferdamnit Spike.
Spike, why?
Still as in love with Rarity as ever.
*Story goes into detail Spike, clothing, age, height, ECT*
Damn, look at him.
First time we've seen him without that atrocious purple hoodie, and he rocks the look well.
Honestly, if I saw that in a bar and he was interested in me... well... **Light blush appears on my face**
**Snorts** Pervert.
Eyy, tell me i'm wrong, you tell me you wouldn't want to tap that, for god's sake you're a demon.
**Takes another look** You're not wrong.
*Story shows why Spike is here*
Ah, he's Rarity's plus one, why do I get the feeling that is wasn't in a romantic interest?
Dude, cover art. Rarity's nowhere to be found, besides one of the tags is Drama.
Oh dear, gem horse will be dramatic gem horse.
Most likely moreso then usual.
*Story shows Spike's reason for coming*
What are the chances that Rarity accepts Spike's proposal?
Out of ten chances in different multiverses, survey says, 0/10 successful proposals.
If the odds were stacked in Spike's favor?
Survey says, 1/10.
Why do I get the feeling madam Fate will kick Spike in the balls at the beginning of this trip?
Maybe it'll be to knock some sense into him.
*Story introduces humans into the mix as workers on the ship, and how they came to Equestria*
You know, I could honestly see that, so long as there isn't any superiority bullshit going on.
Crim, it's Equestria, ponies that are either racist, xenophobic, or ignorant to other races so much that it blinds them with utter fear.
At least they look like they aren't being abused and are being given wages.
*Cue Rarity's disgust at the fact that humans are on the ship*
Well, can't say i'm surprised.
Rarity, the high class belle of the ball, the dame of fashion, the elegant and generous, the Xenophobic harlot.
And no one is surprised it is the white pony who's the racist.
*Story lets known that Rarity had an incident with humans a year ago*
What do you think happened?
Dress line got either snatched or destroyed?
No, Rarity would've forgave them and helped out.
Sweetie got assaulted?
Maybe but... that wouldn't be held on if the human apologized.
Then what?
I don't...
**Lightbulbs pop on in our heads**
You don't think,
Maybe, it is a possibility.
*Story shows Spike in Lala-land when two unicorn females and a human female with a shitload of painting supplies appear*
Hello hello hello.
Plot convenience!
*Story shows human female struggling to carry the supplies, with the two unicorns behind her telling they could help her with her luggage, the girl turning the offer down*
A bit headstrong ain't she?
Reminds me of Aya.
*As fate would have it, one of the paint tins fall off the luggage holder and rolls down to where Rarity was*
Oh,
Shit.
*Paint tin explode over the bottom of Rarity's dress and she starts throwing a fit*
Oh fuck.
Do I need to get the riot shield?
You might want to, just in case our Rarity breaks down the door to the-
**From across the house**
WHO SULLIED ONE OF MY WORKS OF ART! I WILL HAVE THEIR HEADS!
Crim, Lock the door, NOW!
*Crimson quickly rushes over to a button that says "ANTI-MAGIC" and smashes it with his fist, locking them in*
Crisis averted?
For the next four hours.
*The human female tries her best to clean up her mess profusely apologizing, with Rarity still throwing a hissy fit*
Rarity, can you just, not, can you just, NOT?!
Drama horse is especially being dramatic today.
*Rarity makes the mistake of telling the human female, in CIVILIAN CLOTHING to take their bags to their rooms*
*Silence*
*Silence*
**Both take a deep breath**
AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!*Smashes his head into the desk repeatedly*
WHAT THE UNHOLY LOVING FUCK YOU XENOPHOBIC CUNT! SHE'S IN CIVILIAN CLOTHING YOU FUCKWIT!
*Stops smashing his head into the desk, muffled* I never thought Rarity, the fashionista of the group to not realize that she's in normal clothes.
*The human female gets justifiably pissed and verbally lashes Rarity*
Damn, girl's got some bite. I like it.
Might be one of the better (selfinsert?) heroines we've seen.
*Twilight quickly defuses the situation by dragging the girls off*
What else could she do at that point, other then drag them off?
Drama horse was out for blood and the human looked ready to beat her face in.
*Spike stays behind to help the human and apologizes to her about Rarity's actions*
He has nothing to apologize for, he wasn't the one who threw a fit over an expensive self-made dress.
Which might I add is a bit much to go on a standard cruise.
*Spike notices she is wearing something he has an interest in*
Hold up, is this?
I think it is.
*Both start lightly geeking out over the same band*
Am I wrong in thinking this is a cute couple?
Nah, i'm in the same boat as you.
**All rabid Spike/Cannon Mare shippers cry out in agony**
*After the cleanup, the human teases Spike about the seven females waiting for him and his flustered expression*
I still find it cute.
You ain't the only one, there is much to see in the future.
*Before she leaves, she gets a namedrop, Rachel*
Hmm, it fits.
Yeah, it fits nicely.
*Scene shifts to a later time, with the mane 6, Spike, and Starlight*
Back with the cannon crew.
Is it wrong to say that it doesn't feel right as of now?
I won't deny you saying that.
*Rarity beckoning Spike to do her sunscreen which he does with reckless abandon*
God, just kill me now.
Spike, buddy, please.
This just makes me want to slap him.
Upside the head or in the face?
Both.
*Distraction in the volleyball getting lost over the railing, Spike getting it himself*
**Sighs** Oh thank god, a moment of breath.
I swear, Spike is thinking more with his dick than his brain, and Rarity is milking it up.
Bet ya that's what she'll try to deny it.
*Spike returns to Rarity and he sees she is flirting with another male*
Christ Rarity, if you don't like Spike, JUST SAY IT!
I don't even think she realizes how badly she's fucking up right now.
I'll say it now, Dragon rage HURTS like a motherfucker.
Burns, right?
Try burns, broken bones, torn muscles and ripped ligaments.
*Scene showing the rest of the day where Spike tries to get closer to Rarity, and failing miserably each time*
God this hurts my eyes, brain, and soul.
Eyes and brain because you're seeing this, but soul?
The fact that she's blatantly ignoring him instead of laying down her full hand.
*Scene shifts to night and both Spike and Twilight are getting ready for the party that the captain is throwing*
Hey, I need to know something.
What?
How badly will this go?
I'm not sure how badly this will go, but by this chapter alone, it will be messy.
How messy?
My guess? Full cleanup crew.
For the mess?
More likely for the pieces.
*Twilight putting the last finishing touches on themselves and Spike grabbing the proposal ringbox*
Well, showtime.
I'll bring the mop.
*They show up at the party and Spike can barely control himself at the sight of Rarity*
You remember how you said it'll be messy?
Yeah?
I think it's starting.
*Twilight knocking some sense into Spike, telling him to control himself*
I know she's the princess and all, but does she have to act like a bitch?
I'm fairly certain Spike had to control you a few times princess, you are in no room to talk.
*The mane 6 showing up and Rarity asking Spike to a dance*
Fuck you drama horse.
She isn't even being subtle right now is she?
Nope, he's just too oblivious to see it.
*After dancing, Rarity telling him to get a drink and Spike quickly scurrying off to get it*
I loathe that type of a personality and that type of person.
Join the club.
*Spike running into Flutters and having to deal with a drunken pony*
That's what you get for messing with a dragon's family.
Quite right, why she was alone I will never know.
*Spike returns to where Rarity was, when two familiar looking mares walk up to Rarity*
Shit's about to hit the fan?
Oh yes.
*The mares start talking with Rarity, with her being Xenophobic to the two of them*
She just stepped on a landmine.
As I said, full cleanup crew.
*The twins, tired of Rarity's insults dump their drinks on Rarity and walk off, leaving her to her own selfpity, while the males that once swarmed her, leave like she's covered in shit*
As dickish as that was, it was worth it.
You might as well have dumped her in the pool as well, she's not looking happy.
*Spike realizing he didn't do anything, comes over and tries to make things better*
I can't watch this, Inner, the Junior.
Which round?
750 grain.
*Spike tries to make things better, only for Rarity to continue throwing a fit*
**Pulls out a snubnose SW500 and one 750 grain 50 cal round** You really doing this?
We have the medic's Medi-gun, you can regrow my limb.
*Spike tries to tell Rarity what she means to him and proposes*
**Loads the bullet into the cylinder and spins it, then throws it closed** Let's see what happens.
Lets.
*Rarity turns down Spike's proposal, harshly*
**Places the gun on the desk** Well now, don't that beat all.
Harsh.
*Spike's heart starts cracking and Rarity keeps verbally beating into Spike*
Oh shit, this is not good.
How bad is it?
Dragon's broken heart, if a dragon's heart is broken the snap at anyone and anything to feed that anger.
So, still gonna need the cleanup crew.
If there is even a ship left.
*One final crack and Spike becomes enraged at Rarity*
If she was smart she'd run.
Though no, she's not.
Oh look at me, i'm Rarity, i'm the element of generosity, spirit of giving, but I couldn't give a damn about the dragon I just crushed under my hoof. Shower me in love shower me in gifts shower me in adoration, WHO THE FUCK CARES IF I HURT ANYONE?! I'M FUCKING RARITY!
**Looks at the barred door** You might want to cool it, she's still in the house.
I was talking about this Rarity, the Rarity we have isn't a goddamn Xenophobe, hell, she's had relations with at least three different races.
*Spike, justifiably pissed with Rarity, snaps at her*
How ignorant is she that she didn't speak with him?
I'd say pretty ignorant.
*Spike verbally tears chunks off Rarity, crushing the ringbox in his hand*
Looks like he's done with her.
I don't know whether to laugh my ass off, cheer, or just be disappointed.
*Rarity tries in vain to get Spike to calm down*
Hon, the last thing he wants to hear is your voice, so I will say this now and you'd better listen, *ahem* SHUT THE FUCK UP!
You blew your chance Rarity, he isn't going to listen.
*Spike calls her what she always has been and throws the ringbox at Rarity's face, only for Dash to get her out of the way*
*Silence*
*Silence*
Dash...
Fuck you, so much.
*Spike takes off to another portion of the ship to sob his heart out*
I swear to god if they try to find him or Rarity acts like nothing happened tomorrow.
I would be pissed with you, but I get it.
Just, fuck her.
*Final scene of a mysterious figure watching Spike from afar*
Who might that be?
Maybe Rachel?
Maybe.
FINAL THOUGHT ON CH1
Great beginning, middle and end, and good drama between the original cast and the new girl, also, Fuck you Rarity.
It was good, can't wait to see more.
10202522
Ooh who is this?
*goes to read, dies in laughter in the end*
Dude, honestly, that has got to be one of the best comments I ever had with this story, I shit you not. I am glad you enjoy the story and thank you for finding this.
And no it's not self insert if you must know. :P