Convicted Bibliophile (Buy me a coffee, will 'ya? https://ko-fi.com/flint_lock)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! 100/10
A really sweet fic, i do hope you will write a fic of how this precious couple met for the first time.
8459478
What they said.
I love this!!!
yes that would be rude alright. And this little tale has me wondering why we're not seeing more siren O.C.s. Yours is only the second I've seen.
8461015
You got me.
8461028
Right?
Can I have more plz, if that ok whit you?
“Hyoo-mans”... “HYOO-MANS”! memeguy.com/photos/images/taking-wat-lady-to-a-whole-new-level-144883.gif
This review is brought to you by the group, "A for Effort."
Name of Story: The Hunt
Total score out of 10: 7.0
Been a while since I've passed a story. Good on you, bud
Pros: Very, very good visualizations, particularly at the beginning. It never got too in my face with descriptions, but still managed to create a pretty picture for me.
The character interactions, while a little cheesy, didn't feel forced or stilted. The genuine affection made me smile, and with a notable absence of nausea
The story idea seems pretty unique. I don't recall too many human and siren stories out there, so this one stands out.
Cons: It was really only two primary issues that prevented your story from scoring higher.
Technical: While your spelling was on point, there were still grammatical issues were sprinkled throughout. The overuse of colons and at least one incorrect use of a semicolon were the biggest ones; I also spotted a missing period at the end of a paragraph.
Story: This opening scene and conversation are cute and enjoyable. They make for a good start of a story, and don't quite tell a story on their own. We're given background exposition as this is some time after they've met/gotten married, and I am indeed curious. Unfortunately, there's no continuation and I'm not given enough time to truly fall in love with these characters. There's just... not enough story in this story.
To summarize: This is a cute read with two interesting characters. The imagery is fluid, though the grammar needs a little comb over. A good potential start into what could be a fantastic love story with a Romeo and Juliet styling
8467621
Thank you very much!
This story was so cute! I love it! There were a few things that needed to be fixed, though. I'll show you the origanal sentence, then below I'll put what to change:
Shei is a born predator.
Replace 'Shei' with 'she'.
Prey included
Add a period at the end of the sentence.
“You know me?”
I'd recommenced replacing the question mark with a period or an exclamation mark.
Humans, so warm, so cuddly…
Those '...' should look like this 'cuddly . . .'
“Last one home is a lazy pup.”
I'd recommend changing this period to an exclamation point.
Was that helpful? And great story!
8501529
It was. What exactly did you like about it?
Short but cute. Nice story.
Sooooi cute need more good job
10/10, Would tap again
why do you write fic so cute they give me diabtus
Fuckin' cute as all get out
Mm
How cute.
Great, now I just want more Siren stories.
There are many benefits in becoming a marine biologist