This fic takes place after the events of: "Boast Busters"
After Trixie lost to Twilight in calming down a rampaging Ursa Minor. Trixie fleed ponyville and wonders into a strange cave unaware of a Ursa Major that lives there. When the magician wakes the Ursa Major takes it upon himself to treat the grown mare like a cub, and keeps her from leaving the cave. As Time passes Trixie slowly starts to change from a unicorn into a actual Ursa Minor cub. Trixie realises she has to find a way to escape the cave and find somepony to help her, or be trapped in the body of a Ursa Minor forever.
Editor:The Fan without a face
Chapters (8)
ok... this might be interesting to say the least
So far it looks promising so far, keep it up.
Wow I like the idea of this story. I cannot wait for the next chapter!
this is pretty interesting can't wait to see how this turns out
I'm looking forward to more of this story idea. It's a novel premise, to say the least. Trixie the Ursa Minor might make for even more amazing demonstrations than just being a unicorn showmare, feeding her ego. Then again, the story could go in a different direction and be more about Trixie's changing identity and being with a new mother.
Heck, it could be this is how new Ursa Minors are made.
Nice start! The opening part had a great place to insert the theme song, too. Right after Trixie heard the howls and realized she definitely wasn't in a safe place. The opening theme there would certainly add some suspense.
Trixie's monologue as she went about trying to find her way out of the Everfree Forest was, in my opinion, quite in character. I really enjoyed seeing her frustration reach a boil to where she cursed at the birds who, in her rage, appeared to be heading off to add more insult to injury to Trixie's situation. This point in her displeased travels shows how upset she was with how things turned out after "Boast Busters" while giving a head start on what would lead her to eventually seek the "Alicorn Amulet". That much hate and resentment never leads to positive results.
The cave setup was good, too. She was desperate to find safety, comfort, and rebuild her shattered ego. The cave and its leaf bed coupled with fruity food stores provided just that. Now we just have to see what The Great and Powerful Trixie has greatly and powerfully gotten herself into.
I love this story when is the next chapter?
The Everfree Forest is certainly filled with many a magical mystery. Something makes me think the reason she was mistaken for a cub was her clothes. Being she is blue and had stars on her garments definitely could lead up to such confusion. The mysteries of how creatures, like the Ursa Major, work in the Everfree Forest also makes the idea of her transforming make a lot more sense, too.
What made this chapter a winner, to me, is how many times Trixie had to humble herself. She knew she needed to get out but also knew when to accept it in lieu of her life being on the line. I'm sure this would be difficult on one, like Trixie. This situation makes what happened with her and Twilight seem like a massive double-whammy for humiliation.
Wow this story is one of the best ones that I have read in a long time.
The transformation is taking full effect now. Very well paced as her mind and body both begin to become that of an Ursa Minor.
I'm liking how the transformation is not only happening but also how it has clear effects on Trixie herself. Losing one's self as a result of a spell, or in this case milk, would definitely be quite frightening and rough to cope with. Trixie is doing the best she reasonably can but having her have such moments of shock and difficulty make the entire event all the more believable. Especially given the pacing you are using.
How will she escape? Will Zecora, perhaps, be her only hope? You certainly have set up a long list of possibilities as to where the tale will go as Trixie does all she can to hold onto her equine self while enduring the stresses of becoming an Ursa Minor.
<LoL!> The nose booping between Trixie and the Ursa Minor was precious! The mental visual of the two being a Boop Battle made this chapter a lot of fun while still paving solid progress towards the story's conclusion.
I do like how you are taking more liberties with the canon series to create one that is distinctly your own while building a wonderfully lush Alternate Universe.
It will be delightful to see how this all comes to an end. Fluttershy being in this certainly added to the adventure in which Trixie is going through.
I also must admit I'm a bit of a goof in not catching on to why the Ursa Major would've mistaken Trixie for a cub. Her coat color, cape, and hat would scream Ursa Minor based on the features of an Ursa. The irony of Trixie's little lie from "Boast Busters" is not lost on this fact either. :)
D'aww. Lots of cute moments in this chapter. It was also a great opportunity to introduce Fluttershy's talents with animals. You definitely portrayed Flutters perfectly while she did the necessary translating and mitigating of discussions and conflicts between Ursa Trixie and the Mane 6.
Your Alternate Universe definitely puts Twilight to quite the test. She gets to do far more research in this story arc while getting a whole bunch of different lessons in friendship, family, and understanding / acceptance. By the time she'd become "Princess Twilight" she would also be more like Sci-Twi due to all the research she has had to do on various potions, plants, fur, etc. So that makes her and her Equestria Girl alter personality make a lot more sense. Both ever in the pursuit of understanding why things are suddenly happening in, and around, Ponyville / Canterlot High.
Nice work. :)
oh please tell me when trixie gets cured that she ends up as a foal that would be funny
daww
Insert bear pun here
D'aww. A very cute and meaningful chapter. Definitely got a lot of ground covered in just one section. It was also interesting to see how all of Ponyville, Fluttershy's animals, Twilight, and Equestria at large were taking Trixie's transformation.
The pacing made this a fun section. I imagined Flutters in front of a podium with cameras clicking as she meekly answered the questions she could. Fluttershy wasn't very bold at all at this point in the actual story arc. I even think this was before Dragonshy. So we see how Fluttershy can handle an Ursa and how her fear of dragons could benefit from some further exploration. Why she can face an Ursa or Cockatrice and yet be so afraid of dragons? There's got to be something there.
You're doing well with Trixie. Great job!
good chapter, it's much more consistent then it was at first. keep it up
i love luna in this chapter
D'aww. I really liked Luna's thoughts on the matter. I'm sure being able to 'Cuddle the stars' is a magnificent thing. Especially after being trapped on the moon with them only sparkling towards her from a distance too great to reach from her banished position.
So a year, eh? This could impact the original story arc by negating the events of "Magic Duel". More doors of potential open as different circumstances happen to all the characters from the series through slight changes to what occurred in the timeline. Too fun!
this was a good read
Whoa... This was something I did not expect but, after reading it, really should have seen coming. No mother, sleeping or not, would ever make the mistake of missing a child. "Mother Senses" are unexplainable but super powerful and very capable of overriding a lot of other instincts, emotions, etc.
Quite the well written action sequence. You definitely made that Ursa Major come off as a force to not be taken lightly. Princess Luna, still newly returned to normal, would definitely be all for battle while Celestia would have long been used to calculating such risks. I also liked how Trixie rose to the occasion until Flutters finally gained her courage to do what she needed to do. Nicely done!
If this is the end I do feel it a great ending. I'm also interested in how the time as an Ursa may impact whether-or-not the events of "Magic Duel" will ever come to pass. It seems this whole situation has reformed Trixie quite well.
Wow, this is an unexpected gem of a story and I would LOVE to see a sequel or a follow-up of sorts to it as well. Amazing job!
This really makes me feel sorry for Trixie and honestly even though the writers of the canon show don't seem to understand double standard like Trixie being shown as the cause if the Ursa minor attack just because if her boasting even though snips and snails are shown to be idiots and the ones that lured the ursa minor to ponyville in the first place despite all that it is a kid's show that people other than kids love because its cute so we think on it with logic which the little kids won't they will just see the message that they are supposed to and not the double standard of say making rainbow feel worthless because some random mare is intentionally putting her in danger to out do her in saving people
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I agree I would like to see Trixie putting on a show for the Ursa both major and minor