This story is a sequel to Sandwiches
Celestia is somewhat out of practice with the whole "warrior princess" thing. Luna agrees.
Part of the Moamerverse.
Chapters (3)
bonamb
Joined 26th Apr, 2014 ·
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While I did very much like how the fight kept intruding on Celestia's inner monlogue, your explanation for the mechanics of unicorn weapons wasn't at all clear. I feel like there are several assumptions involved that you forgot to mention. Also, what exactly did you mean by the "moment" spell and field?
Aside from those ambiguities, it's good to see Celestia mixing things up after all these centuries. Thank you for presenting more of this world.
You might want to consider looking up your local SCA and seeing about getting into Rapier Combat. Did it for several years myself and loved it. There really isn't anything quite like the clash of steel on steel.
It also employs mainly thrusting attacks, is fought in a ring as opposed to a strip, and you are allowed one of 5 offhand weapons: Gloved hand, buckler, cape, baton and dagger.
So, is Sabre mute? Might want to include that detail. GREAT story, nonetheless.
Was a pleasant read.
8251925
Huh. Ok. I did mean to imply quite a bit, but yeah, may have gone a tad too far xD
Whelp. Guess its time for anOTHER CHAPTER :D
8251998
Yeppers he is. Also, over the course of other stories (and maybe one for him) I'm going to be expanding on his backstory, and exactly who he is in relation to the diarchy. He's a fun character heh.
Okay, now I get it. Very cool concepts all around, especially Luna's two-body system fighting style, and some nice fight choreography to boot. Looking forward to more.
Love your world building !!
Few writers explore unicorn weaponry in depth. It fit the story and characterization perfectly.
I have to appreciate Luna thinking this.
In any case, lovely slice of royal life and examination of Luna's reaction to modernity. Thank you for this story.
So, in essence, Luna likes to do momentum-assisted slingshot maneuvers around her own warhammer?
Tangentially, I've always pegged Celestia as the one to prefer Big Blunt Objects as weapons, with Luna going for more elegantly stabby armaments.
I personally had no problem with your not explicitly stating that Sabre is mute. He reminded me of Vinyl Scratch in the show: there's that ambiguity of whether they are mute or simply prefer not talking -shrugs- it's not that big a deal.
Anyway, this was a fun story: Cakeflanks is out of shape? Perish the thought xP
She probably won't make as comfy a pillow once she's in shape though :P
It's interesting seeing Luna with a hammer rather than the sword she was animated with in the Fall of the Crystal Empire, but I can definitely see why she'd choose one xD
Would delight in seeing more; thanks for writing :)
Luna is a crazy, reckless, and hyper ball of "LET'S DO THIS!"
I love it.
Also your fight choreo is elegant, and your interpretation of unicorn armed-fighting is ingenious, if a bit...slow/much? Though it accurately reflects Celestia's waning energy, so perhaps not :P
Thanks for writing :)
Yay, Luna! I liked the bout of introspectiveness, though the spell she used confused me (I kinda didn't read any other Sandwiches story; is it obvious? xD)
Thanks for touching on Luna's mane change, and I always appreciate writers exploring the complementary aspects of Celestia and Luna: the chessmaster vs the...blunt? xD
However, this chapter had a lot more typos and grammar errors than usual .-.?
The writing was rougher in general: some sentences didn't flow well, some two-word descriptors could have benefited from a hyphen, some phrases should have been set off by commas, titles/epithets should have been capitalized, a few words were misused
Minor issues: lack of hyphens, possessive apostrophes, or capitalization of titles, and some awkward phrasing due to long af sentences that aren't quite formatted correctly
Big issue: The past tense of leading is led.
Thanks for writing though, it's still very enjoyable :)
8367116
I can't believe I didn't see your comment when it was posted :c I'm blown over by the size of it!
In order:
The "rememory" spell is kinda a daydream style thing. It's basically a way of focusing in on a particular memory and examining it in much more detail than it would otherwise be, uh, remembered. I used it instead of just a bog standard daydream just to kinda poke the idea of exactly how large an alicorn's memory is, and if Luna, who slept on the moon for a millennium needs to use artificial methods to sort through her burdened memory effectively, what exactly must Celestia do?
Yeah I can't do subtlety, but hey, everybody has to start somewhere :3 Fun times!
Also no haven't put it anywhere else in the sandwichverse yet (though I am working on a much, much larger story so it may pop up again). Should have explained it somewhere though but it didn't quite fit with the excessively small size of this story.
Grammar corrections! Thank you! I think I had an exam the next day and kinda whacked this out as a way of winding down, oops.
I've corrected basically everything you've pointed out, might actually have to go find an editor sometime for future projects.
My first drafts have so many more long, rambling sentences. I often cant actually read what I've written when I go back to poke it :P
Leading! Led! English is fun! I can't spell and for a person who enjoys writing occasionally, that's hilariously ironic. Thanks whoevers responsible for spellcheck.
Anyway late night fimfictioning over I'm going to bed. Just saw you and had to reply. Thanks for the comment, criticism and corrections and everything dude/dudette/dudex! /)