- Member Since 7th Oct, 2012
- offline last seen 4 hours ago
CrimsonEquine
Improvement is a dire mistress.
CrimsonEquine
Joined 7th Oct, 2012 ·
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Well, I'm glad you're not always writing mind break stories.
This goes in the Father/Daughter folder. You put it in the wrong one.
so many downvotes
Nothing I do works
8245084
i liked it and up voted it
8245084 Some words of encouragement:
Firstly, you are going to be fighting an uphill battle writing sex. Especially with the theme; incest. So your technical writing skills have to be top-notch. Simple, avoidable mistakes like this:
Moreover, the running theme I see is that barely 12 of your 84 stories are more than 2,000 words. And only 3 of those are more than 5,000 words. Even for a simple clopfic, sex without any real story, as a masturbation vehicle, there should still be at least 3000 words. There needs to be at least some kind of buildup with some foreplay to give the story some sense of pacing. 1,041 words is barely enough time for me to consider unzipping my pants. This story went by faster that Rainbow Dash doing a Sonic Rainboom. Sure, it may have taken all night to write it, but it will only take a reader 5 minutes to breeze through it.
For your next story, I challenge you:
Make a point of slowing down the scene. Be descriptive. Play on all five senses. Show, don't Tell.
Don't say:
Turn those four words into a paragraph. Don't tell us how she's feeling. Make US feel it.
Fleshing out a scene like this is a great way to pad out a story's length, and help control the pacing if you want to slow things down and focus on a particular scene. Description of the physical is especially important when describing a sex scene in a clopfic. And describing the mental, and emotional, is a great way to pace a sex scene.
Best of luck in the future.
8245478
how do I write descriptively with as few words as possible?
8245503 Writing descriptively and using as few words as possible are contradictory goals.
8245510
but, I was told to use fewer words on my last fic.
8245521 If you are referring to:
I believe they were say that regarding redundant sentences, or overly 'clinical terms'.
This, while a good description of imagery, is not terribly arousing for most readers. And the sentence structure is a little clunky to read. A good way to check is to read it aloud and see how it sounds.
But my advice falls more in line with:
Remember, writing sex is not meant to just be a play-by-play of what is physically happening. How the characters feel is equally, if not more, important. Narrative description of emotion is a good way to achieve story length without clinical nuances. Dialogue can be even better. After all, if your characters feel nothing, so will the reader.
8245551
Oh okay, now it makes more sense. thanks shakespearicles.