A stranger with a spell that makes his actions seems reasonable and acceptable to anyone affected arrives in Ponyville, and immediately sets about making all of Equestria accept his lewd acts as something completely normal.
8164127 Really? I don't see it that often and it's one of my favorite things. I will have to check for more stories involving that. Anyways, I do want to write more Rainbow Dash as actual Rainbow Dash stuff so you can expect normal Dash in a later chapter.
This is quite interesting. I wonder if he plans on keeping them all to himself, or more widespread prolitical change?
Also, quick tip: You really should type out numbers under 100. It's incredibly distracting to have 2s or 5s pop up during regular text, and it's not much more work than simply writing them in word form; consequently, many readers consider not doing it a sign of laziness.
Because you'd expect someone with RDs personality to be a top, so in theory it's a reversal of the norm. It has been over saturated, though, and you don't always have to defy the trope.
8163669 Ayyy, The Choice is an awesome story, you've got good taste. I love this particular mind control "kink", so I'll definitely be following your story with interest.
K, I just read the three chapters, and I wanna state, this is a good shot, but I got some suggestions.
First, I suggest more details, in a story, no matter the type, description is paramount for action otherwise you leave the reader without vision or idea, course over detailing could ultimately. Even without action, telling us your vision of the character is a great idea, from clothing to the build of the character, and not just for the females, but males as well, I notice you do a bit better later in this regard, but I suggest a bit more.
Secondly, When doing sex scenes if your objective is to 'entice' the reader, then as wit the first one descriptions and depicting the actions, becomes even more needed, as, without it, we're just trying to grasp it ourselves, filler helps a lot in sexual scenes or even joke scenes, devil may be in details, but so are the muses.
Thirdly, This is more a nitpick, but using 1 2 3, instead of one two three, aggravates most readers, as it breaks immersion, for a story like this, that is important to keep intact. There are also some misspelling and such and the one thing that got me blinking and saying "what" was when you misplaced him/her she/he and mixed them up accidentally.
You clearly put effort into this ,and I hope you take this all ina good way, you are not bad at this, keep trying and correct and add to what you've done, it helps. Gentle breeze guide your path, a warm smile welcome you home.
8164354 Don't know if you've heard of it, but there's an absolutely huge story called The Law about casual fetishism. It's not mind control however, the women just accept sex as an everyday thing. Link here.
8164127 Really? I don't see it that often and it's one of my favorite things. I will have to check for more stories involving that. Anyways, I do want to write more Rainbow Dash as actual Rainbow Dash stuff so you can expect normal Dash in a later chapter.
This is quite interesting. I wonder if he plans on keeping them all to himself, or more widespread prolitical change?
Also, quick tip: You really should type out numbers under 100. It's incredibly distracting to have 2s or 5s pop up during regular text, and it's not much more work than simply writing them in word form; consequently, many readers consider not doing it a sign of laziness.
8164180 Thanks for the tip! I'll go back and fix that as soon as I can.
interesting concept so far. i wonder how you'll handle the rest along with any possible wrenches throung into the works like big mac and spike.
8164127
Because you'd expect someone with RDs personality to be a top, so in theory it's a reversal of the norm. It has been over saturated, though, and you don't always have to defy the trope.
Romantic DashDom is a favorite of mine
8163669
Ayyy, The Choice is an awesome story, you've got good taste.
I love this particular mind control "kink", so I'll definitely be following your story with interest.
K, I just read the three chapters, and I wanna state, this is a good shot, but I got some suggestions.
First, I suggest more details, in a story, no matter the type, description is paramount for action otherwise you leave the reader without vision or idea, course over detailing could ultimately. Even without action, telling us your vision of the character is a great idea, from clothing to the build of the character, and not just for the females, but males as well, I notice you do a bit better later in this regard, but I suggest a bit more.
Secondly, When doing sex scenes if your objective is to 'entice' the reader, then as wit the first one descriptions and depicting the actions, becomes even more needed, as, without it, we're just trying to grasp it ourselves, filler helps a lot in sexual scenes or even joke scenes, devil may be in details, but so are the muses.
Thirdly, This is more a nitpick, but using 1 2 3, instead of one two three, aggravates most readers, as it breaks immersion, for a story like this, that is important to keep intact. There are also some misspelling and such and the one thing that got me blinking and saying "what" was when you misplaced him/her she/he and mixed them up accidentally.
You clearly put effort into this ,and I hope you take this all ina good way, you are not bad at this, keep trying and correct and add to what you've done, it helps.
Gentle breeze guide your path, a warm smile welcome you home.
8163669
hrm, that intrigues me. Mind sending me a link to it? I can't find it.
8164410 Thanks for the advice! That one-two-thee instead of 1-2-3 thing is something that I'll be going back and fixing as soon as I can.
8164354 Don't know if you've heard of it, but there's an absolutely huge story called The Law about casual fetishism. It's not mind control however, the women just accept sex as an everyday thing. Link here.
8163218
That's basically the same exact thing but with slightly different mechanics.
To avoid conflict I'd suggest adding a "Inspired By" tag in your story's description.
I'm curious as to why the word "tap" was inserted into a few sentences here.
8165203
It was when scootaloo was tapping sweaties horn
It's a nice little story, but I will admit that I'm a bit disappointed the chance for CMC clop was skipped.