- Member Since 16th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
Dusk Melody
I wish I was enough. But I'm not and never will be.
Dusk Melody
Joined 16th Oct, 2014 ·
Offline
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Dusk Melody · 106k words · 52 11 · 1.1k views
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Weird take but it's pretty nice.
Edit: Did you make the cover art?
8173773 Thank you and yes, I did.
Before I read this, what is the Gore tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?
8174726 Injuries sustained by a hiking incident. It's nothing too bad, or even gory, to be honest.
8174745 ... how bad does it get ?
8174726 There's a broken leg suffered in the prologue (accidental, survived) and some bleeding in a dream sequence in chapter 1. Nothing too extreme, I promise
8174747 Nothing's really described, just an incident while hiking she survives.
8174749 To be honest, I don't even think the gore tag is really necessary. You've had worse in your stories *cough* LTF *cough* and RTF didn't even have a gore tag. Plus, her injuries really aren't that bad. Now, maybe it's that from my life, I'm pretty desensitized, but they're not described with a great amount of detail.
8174762 That's a good point. I just added it to be safe than sorry, as it's EG based I thought it'd be different expectations than 'pony'.
This is brilliant, though I must admit, I was a bit confused as to order at first.
I LOVE IT!!!! I'm SO adding this to my folders!
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Thank you both. Anything in particular you like about it?
8175559 For me, probably the bit where she called her self Celly and she mentioned the 'My Little Explorer's Starter ack'. LOL!!!!
So we have Centaurs speaking Greek? Huh...
Damn... poor Celestia....
8177675 No, no, no, the centaurs speak centauran. It just sounds Greek because while they were travelling the world via the Great Forest pathways they settled in what we know as Greece and taught their language to the primitive humans back when contact was allowed.
8175566 I'm glad you found that funny. That was the intent, my friend.
I actually really enjoyed this chapter. I hope to enjoy the coming chapters as much as I did this one. The level of detail you put into your scenes is what really drew me in, and the way that you've written your characters lets me know that you've put real thought into them. Good first impression!
Definitely was not expecting that scene between Cheerilee and Luna. Definitely was 100% OK with it. Good chapter!
This needs more views i love it have a like good dor or madam
8201711 I wish it did have more views. Thank you for liking it though!
Some weird language that I don't understand... maybe you'll tell us later in the story???
I have to say chapter 2 is very well done with Celestia and Luna... applause
Wow this is very good I like the chapter 2 i'm now rushing for three.
My thoughts are saying how is she going to explain with her sister... best wanting to know the next chapter.
I... huh.
I started reading this for
my lovePrincipal Celestia fighting understandable PTSD from all the shit that went down at the same time her midlife crisis hits like a ton of bricks. I wasn't big on the sex at first (Luna's scene felt like a long non sequitur), but it grew on me as Celestia continues the slow, nervous process of finding herself sexy again. I see it's on hiatus, but I do hope you pick this up again sometime.EDIT: Mmmm... Appleset.
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It's not dead, I promise it's not. I'm just devoting my time my main Wilyverse stories. Those are my main focus as Book 4 will be released in 2 days. I want to get ahead with that, and I'm only 1 guy writing all this.
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This story's not dead! It's alive and well! Please let me know what you think of this new chapter.
yo ho all ye gentleman,
hoist the colors high,
thieves and beggars,
never shall we die.
heave ho, all ye countryman,
hoist the colors high,
thieves and beggars,
together never shall we die.
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Thank you for your comment, I don't want to be 'that guy', but how is it relevant to the story?
8754279
that was a message which means that no matter who or what we are we all hoist the colors of our rights up into the sky, that and I really like your story, also that bit there was from pirates of the Caribbean: at worlds end, sorry I didn't clarify that for you.
8754279
though I wish to make a request, um how to put this, do you think you could do a pirates of the Caribbean crossover with equestria girls?
8173773
nice account avatar. that Davey jones?
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No, I couldn't. I don't have the time I'm afraid.
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that's ok sorry for bugging you.
8754295
It was no bother. I'm glad you enjoyed the story
Thank you for writing, love me my AJ.
That was amazingly done.
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Thank you! The next chapter will be released either today or tomorrow. May I ask what you liked about it?
Only recently found this story and love it. The only thing that I find to be a little disconcerting is the number of dom/sub pairings that have been introduced so far. I know they are there to help celestia learn her role as a sub and are plot points in other ways but in a couple of chapters to me seemed to detract from the main story line for no reason unless I've missed something between the lines
Oh wow, I missed a couple updates. Time to get back to it~
Ouch. ::winces:: That looks incredibly, incredibly agonizingly painful
I love centaurs. Starting from when I was very young, and up to discovering MLP:FIM, my favorite daydreams were me imagining myself as a centaur.
I'm looking forward to continuing reading!
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I really hope you enjoy Principal Celestia's journey!
There seems to me to be three individual, distinct narratives that, at the same time, harmoniously blend with each other. Very well done, and not at all as easy to do as it appears here.
There is Celestia herself, dealing with depression, mid-life, self-image, and other issues; there is the relationship between Celestia and her sister, Luna, and finally the relationship between Luna and Cheerilee.
Without going into personal details, I can unabashedly state that I am personally familiar with dynamics #1 and #3, so any comments I make come from a background of personal experience.
The description of Celestia’s depression (for example, dirty clothes piled in heaps, feeling as if the world is unfairly singling you out for special torment, life --and its purpose-- feeling very Sisyphean, just for starters) is spot on. And the final few paragraphs also accurately portrays what drives a lot of highly-intelligent, self-reliant, success-driven people to secretly yearn for a submissive relationship: just to have someone else take over the reins, make the decisions . . . to care for, and cherish, them.
Celestia and Luna’s relationship, while not detailed, gives sufficient background so that a reader feels comfortable picturing their feelings and interactions with, and to, each other. Some friction, yes (which siblings don’t?) but the realization that, should their sister need help, the other would move Heaven and Hell to provide that help. They might be mistaken as to the correct help needed, but their heart would definitely be in the right place.
Luna and Cheerilee’s relationship --Mistress and Pet-- is quite intriguing. Inexperienced readers might assume that it is purely a sexual one, but they’d be wrong. Yes, there is quite a bit of sexuality involved, but it goes deeper than that:
“Celly. I sympathise with your nightmares, but that’s the third time you’ve rolled your eyes at my Leelee. I’ll ask you nicely once to stop it.” This is clearly the response of someone who deeply cares about another, and is taking steps to assure that their feelings are not injured, and does so in a way to make her pet hear that possessive pride while gently, yet firmly, letting her sister know that lines are being crossed.
She carried a silver tray with a mug bearing a black coffee for her Mistress and a cup of jasmine tea for Celestia. “Mistress,” she said with a smile as she set the tray down on the coffee table between them, “the third load of laundry is in the washing machine, the first two are in the dryers and the dirty cups are all cleaned as you ordered.” she finished her report with a respectful bow. Yes, “serving” can simply be part of role play, but this -- along with a sprinkling of other scenes-- clearly indicates something deeper. And, again, that dynamic isn’t something easy to portray in only a few simple paragraphs.
Well done so far!
Looking forward to continuing reading!
So, is everyone in some kind of BDSM relationship? Cause if so, I approve! Makes me wonder what kinky shit Princess Celestia gets up to.
To answer your question quickly - Yes. Yes they are!
The long answer is that Sci Twi is Rainbow's Mistress, Sunset is Applejack's pony girl, Pinkie is Rarity's sub and of course, Luna just adores her pet, Cheerilee. Then there's Applewood and Dawnglow who are Mistress and pet, then we have Celestia and Moonsilver. Finally, Adagio is Fluttershy's cute kitten!
As for the Princess, you'll have to wait and see!
I'm about 1/2 to 2/3 through Chapter Two. It's slow going, not because it's difficult, but because I'm detecting little, but important, tidbits scattered within. If one was just concentrating on the "action", they very easily would blend into that background.
Blend; not get lost. Rather like saffron in a recipe (if done right, that is).
So I catch myself skipping back again and again, isolating that from the background, seeing them slowly build a picture of Celestia that grows clearer and clearer the more of those "pieces" I find.
So far I feel that it gives a good insight into the complexities of Celestia's deep-seated issues, and starts building the foundation for her (long-submerged) hopes and dreams.
As for the "tidbits", how about first a hypothetical example? For instance: "John trudged along, the gloomy sky making it difficult to navigate, as well as draining any desire to continue onward." The "tidbit" here is "gloomy sky", a description easily subsumed into the sentence.
Now, actual examples (at least, for me): " . . . leaving a trail of pre-cum in its wake that thoroughly glazed her flabby ass crack," and "Though she was desperately ashamed and embarrassed by her body, right then, she really wanted to be seen being mounted by a fifty stone creature that by all accounts shouldn’t exist and taking his huge cock like a mare in heat. "
The two tidbits there being "flabby ass crack" and "desperately ashamed and embarrassed by her body", both of which are seamlessly embedded into the substance of the descriptions. But . . . this is a dream, not reality. So . . . why such negative descriptions? Because dreams often reflect the conscious mind's positives and negatives. It's already been established that Celestia is "feeling her years" and feeling "unworthy and unattractive", but those scattered "tidbits" really make clear the depths of her body image issues, as well as her feelings of unworthiness and unattractiveness.
At least, that's my two bits.
Having finished this chapter, there are two things that stand out for me. One is, well . . . GMTA? ::grins:: The part about “inner demons” strikes a cord with me, both on a personal level, and because it is very similar to something I’d written in TTTB. The second is that Cheerilee’s synopsis of her dynamic vis-a-vis Dominant/submissive is quite spot on. For anyone that has ever curiously wondered what/why about D/s, that was a perfect, concise description.
This is an absolutely delightful chapter. We see, slowly, one tantalizing tidbit at a time, the unknown world of the centaurs being revealed. And, paralleling that, we see --through Celestia-- the world of submission as revealed through Luna’s and Cheerliee’s relationship. And, as all that is occurring, the characters are gradually given more depth, becoming, not mere window dressing to enhance the (so-far) main protagonists of Celestia and Moonsilver, but full characters in their own right.
All this proceeds in a natural fashion, not happening simply to justify plot development.
Honestly, I’m shocked --annoyed and irked as well-- that this story has so few views and likes, for it deserves far more than it has, so far, received.
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That's right! I hope what the centaur said was communicated well enough through the actions.