Principal Celestia, tired and feeling well past her prime, leaves in search of adventure. She finds someone who will change her life.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Weird take but it's pretty nice.
Edit: Did you make the cover art?
8173773 Thank you and yes, I did.
Before I read this, what is the Gore tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?
8174726 Injuries sustained by a hiking incident. It's nothing too bad, or even gory, to be honest.
8174745 ... how bad does it get ?
8174726 There's a broken leg suffered in the prologue (accidental, survived) and some bleeding in a dream sequence in chapter 1. Nothing too extreme, I promise
8174747 Nothing's really described, just an incident while hiking she survives.
8174749 To be honest, I don't even think the gore tag is really necessary. You've had worse in your stories *cough* LTF *cough* and RTF didn't even have a gore tag. Plus, her injuries really aren't that bad. Now, maybe it's that from my life, I'm pretty desensitized, but they're not described with a great amount of detail.
8174762 That's a good point. I just added it to be safe than sorry, as it's EG based I thought it'd be different expectations than 'pony'.
This is brilliant, though I must admit, I was a bit confused as to order at first.
I LOVE IT!!!! I'm SO adding this to my folders!
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Thank you both. Anything in particular you like about it?
8175559 For me, probably the bit where she called her self Celly and she mentioned the 'My Little Explorer's Starter ack'. LOL!!!!
Damn... poor Celestia....
8177675 No, no, no, the centaurs speak centauran. It just sounds Greek because while they were travelling the world via the Great Forest pathways they settled in what we know as Greece and taught their language to the primitive humans back when contact was allowed.
8175566 I'm glad you found that funny. That was the intent, my friend.
Definitely was not expecting that scene between Cheerilee and Luna. Definitely was 100% OK with it. Good chapter!
I have to say chapter 2 is very well done with Celestia and Luna... applause
There seems to me to be three individual, distinct narratives that, at the same time, harmoniously blend with each other. Very well done, and not at all as easy to do as it appears here.
There is Celestia herself, dealing with depression, mid-life, self-image, and other issues; there is the relationship between Celestia and her sister, Luna, and finally the relationship between Luna and Cheerilee.
Without going into personal details, I can unabashedly state that I am personally familiar with dynamics #1 and #3, so any comments I make come from a background of personal experience.
The description of Celestia’s depression (for example, dirty clothes piled in heaps, feeling as if the world is unfairly singling you out for special torment, life --and its purpose-- feeling very Sisyphean, just for starters) is spot on. And the final few paragraphs also accurately portrays what drives a lot of highly-intelligent, self-reliant, success-driven people to secretly yearn for a submissive relationship: just to have someone else take over the reins, make the decisions . . . to care for, and cherish, them.
Celestia and Luna’s relationship, while not detailed, gives sufficient background so that a reader feels comfortable picturing their feelings and interactions with, and to, each other. Some friction, yes (which siblings don’t?) but the realization that, should their sister need help, the other would move Heaven and Hell to provide that help. They might be mistaken as to the correct help needed, but their heart would definitely be in the right place.
Luna and Cheerilee’s relationship --Mistress and Pet-- is quite intriguing. Inexperienced readers might assume that it is purely a sexual one, but they’d be wrong. Yes, there is quite a bit of sexuality involved, but it goes deeper than that:
“Celly. I sympathise with your nightmares, but that’s the third time you’ve rolled your eyes at my Leelee. I’ll ask you nicely once to stop it.” This is clearly the response of someone who deeply cares about another, and is taking steps to assure that their feelings are not injured, and does so in a way to make her pet hear that possessive pride while gently, yet firmly, letting her sister know that lines are being crossed.
She carried a silver tray with a mug bearing a black coffee for her Mistress and a cup of jasmine tea for Celestia. “Mistress,” she said with a smile as she set the tray down on the coffee table between them, “the third load of laundry is in the washing machine, the first two are in the dryers and the dirty cups are all cleaned as you ordered.” she finished her report with a respectful bow. Yes, “serving” can simply be part of role play, but this -- along with a sprinkling of other scenes-- clearly indicates something deeper. And, again, that dynamic isn’t something easy to portray in only a few simple paragraphs.
Well done so far!
Looking forward to continuing reading!
There appears to have been a significant time-skip somewhere between the first and eighth chapters.
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Ooooops
Am I the only one who finds it weird when Doms and Subs stay “in character” outside of the bedroom? I see it in every story that includes such things and to me it’s always awkward because it makes it seem like it’s not a game and they really consider each other as master and slave. Maybe it’s just me but I think they should talk like equals when out of the bedroom.
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I have to say I agree. I only use them talking / acting as dom & sub outside of the bedroom in a few instances. When I do use this, it's because the characters see the D/s dynamic as more than mere 'play'. It's a way of life, or a lifestyle, choice for them.