This story is a sequel to Reaction
All actions have consequences, and those consequences can vary widely. A single phrase can change so much.
Things are looking brighter for Twilight, but she is still vulnerable and recovering, and all of the ramifications of what happened haven't come to fruition yet.
Twilight is Rainbow's best friend, and Rainbow is Twilight's best friend. Both of them are struggling with their feelings and what happened, but Rainbow has promised to be there for Twilight, and she will keep her promises, even as the consequences reach a boiling point and threaten their fledgling relationship.
Beware of unmarked spoilers in the comments section.
Chapters (8)
You are a mastermind! This story has been, and I'm sure will be, one of the best things I've read on this site. Not to mention how much I enjoy reading the authors note to see your reasoning for the directions your story goes in. Keep up the great work and I can't wait to see more!
8214992
I’m glad you’re enjoying the story, and thank you for the praise. It can be hard to find the motivation to put time and effort into writing. Knowing that there are some people who think that somehow I manage to do a good job writing, and write things that they enjoy reading makes it worthwhile. Also, I enjoy commenting on my reasoning behind certain things. I didn’t know if anyone enjoyed reading or seeing that. I’ve mulled over the idea of doing an author’s commentary on some of my stories, but I don’t know if anyone would be interested in that.
8215035
I'm always interested in seeing the thought process behind a story. Something about it always makes me think more about what happened in the text I just read. Not to mention I've never been good with words so I've always wanted to see how people that have a talent with words think. As for the authors commentary, I'm sure there are plenty of people like me who would be very interested in that. I can't be the only one.
There's a queen chrysalis tag
That can't be good...
8232487
You have no idea..
What's the worst that could happen? I mean, it's not like she tried to get a nuclear reactor to meltdown and poison an entire town or anything.
Oh, wait...
Yeah dark. You walk a fine line beating a broken character. In a narrative where the protagonist is already broken and has yet to heal you risk going past the point where further beating loses all sympathy and anger generating effect and become something that is disturbing to read and just makes the reader repulsed instead of hooked on reading more. An extreme example of what I'm talking about would be a descriptive repeated stomping of a puppy that already had a broken leg.
Where this line falls for each reader is obviously subjective. I'm not saying you have went too far or hit that line for me but I am saying that I'm not sure going in that direction was necessary for this story.
Twilight was really not even getting better yet she had just slowed her decent. All her hurts were still raw and showed no sign of improvement let alone resolution. You had plenty of writing ahead working on that. I can't say I approve of this latest assult for that reason more than any other. The same events could have happened but behind the scenes. Even that I feel would do this story more justice.
Please take this for what it is one readers opinion and obviously not fact or some absolute truth. Other that that I love this story a huge amount and can't wait to see more.
8284780
It's a line I'm aware of, and... to be honest, I can't guarantee I won't cross it. I can see it being crossed with one major planned plot point that I've envisioned for this story from the beginning. Although, that specific scene is a few chapters away, and more or less the apex of Twilight's suffering in this story, and probably the series. That scene isn't going to be in depth, and the ending of that scene isn't going to be a paragraph, the apex of it will be one sentence, maybe two, totaling about twelve words. The following scene with Twilight then might come as a shock when the full reveal is made if as a reader, you weren't prepared for it.
And... I know that this story won't be for everyone because of that darker aspect, but... it's been a possible "problem" with this series, as, considering that the first story more or less concluded with Twilight dying from radiation poisoning... But I do want to keep this series around for a while longer- I've invested a lot into it, and there are two more major plot points I want to get around to. Both relating to 'Chekov's guns' of sorts in this series. Not sure how I could make either into a real story without them being time lapses or something along that lines, with glimpses into specific days or events over the next two decades or so...
But my goal with this story is to have a sweet ending. Yes, Twilight's in a very bad position, and... if you analyze the story/series as much as I have/more than I, then it gets even more eyebrow-raising of sorts. In my mind, the most beautiful part of this story is going to be the ending. Twilight's in a bad spot, she'll be in a very bad spot for this story, and following it- after all, the creature of her nightmares just paid her a visit.
I might have gone overboard with the scene where Queen Chrysalis showed up. My original plan was for her to just throw Twilight into the wall, hard, then end it with Twilight losing consciousness, but the scene felt too short, and... I was feeling sadistic when writing it. So, I expanded on it. Most future scenes shouldn't be quite so detailed, but the implications might make them about as pleasant as this scene...
I wish I could say more, and... I probably could, but I don't know if I could word it correctly, but there's a plan to it, and a reason for this. Maybe, in the end, it'll come off as convoluted, or irredeemable of sorts, but there is a specific depth I am aiming for with this, which, at the end of this story, I hope will become apparent.
I'm kind of struggling with writing this response. I don't at all mean to come off as putting you down or anything, I'm worried that it could come off that way despite my intentions, I'm trying to come off as having a conversation with you about it. I really appreciate your comment and the time you put into it, and I hope that you'll continue to enjoy this story, and the future stories I'd like to write. And thank you for writing this comment, it's a good reminder/warning for me about the 'point of no return' so to say...
8284851
I didn't feel any ill will from your responce and I too struggled with my comment. I really enjoy this story and didn't want to come off as trying to be some arbiter of the right and wrong way of doing things. Just wanted to express my thoughts on that one particular scene. I can say had it faded to black after the first action I wouldn't have said anything. As it is it's still great story and I will continue to look forward to more.
Should it concern me that you're so good at writing bed snuggling scenes?
The intimacy really brings it to life
8285108
Thanks for the compliment! I don't know why you ask if it should concern you... it's a good thing, right? I enjoy writing fluff- it's fun to write sweet, cute scenes with cuddling. There will be more in this story... eventually...
I spend quite a bit of time writing the snuggle scenes trying to make them the best that I can. I'm glad that you enjoy them!
Ya know. I let the story update multiple chapters so I didn't get annoyed by cliffhangers, and then I read this. With no next chapter.
I'll say this: as clever as that insect thinks she is, she's still just as dead when either Rainbow or Celestia finally get their hooves on her.
*pauses and thinks that over*
On second thought, she better pray that anypony but Rainbow finally gets their hooves on her sorry carcass.
'Cause it's Dash that does, that's just what Chryssi with be: a sorry carcass.
With the Princesses, she might have a chance (however miniscule) of mercy.
With Rainbow?
She's got a snowball's chance in the heart of Tia's sun of getting any.
Whenever I read a really intense chapter on any story, whether due to action or drama or anything like that I literally need to just take a walk for 10 minutes to clear my mind.
This was definitely one of those chapters.
Honestly, I knew that Chrysalis was going to let one of the changelings disguise as Twilight. XD
I have agreed up to this point that your high detail in this story was a good thing. It was. It was the detail of Twilight's loss and her attempts to deal with it. The detail was her changing as a character. It was how we felt the story move forward. It was detail about the core event.
Here however it hurts the story. The detail level of the ponies lives is just as high as the rest of the chapters but it's not serving to move anything forward plot or character wise. From reading this chapter it very much seems you could skip the whole thing and not be lost in anyway picking up at chapter 6. When you write as detailed as you do that's is especially not good. It becomes the sloggish affair some have commented about before. I still love this story but I feel your style doesn't match up well with maintaining suspense for longer periods of time.
8332441
Yeah... I had some trouble with this chapter, and I've noticed that writing long chapters which are like this is emotionally draining for me. I don't get to experience it the same way that you do because I wrote it and you get to read it... It might be hurting this story... But it does serve a purpose, or at least it's meant to. This chapter is supposed to show them, specifically Rainbow, Celestia, Luna, and Starlight, struggling with what's happened. The next chapters shouldn't be so heavy on that aspect, or at least that's my plan in regards to that.
Thanks for the feedback! I may end up having to make some adjustments to the story moving forward. At this point I'm not sure if my estimation on how long it's going to be is accurate- it might be even shorter than my estimate...
8332461
Oh trust me. How well I understand the difference in experience and feel in writing and just getting to read a story. I am co-author of a fair amont of fiction pony and otherwise. So I have experienced an entire spectrum of being writer and or only reader of a story.
From reading yours it really feels you put your heart into your work. You bring things to life with your detail for good or ill and I am very impressed with your ability to do that. I will continue to look forward to more of your work and thank you for putting so much into giving us all something on the scale of this set of stories.
8332507
I've really, really enjoyed writing Reaction and Critical Mass- it's something that, unlike a lot else of what I've written, I've really wanted to write and, Reaction and Critical Mass are the only two stories I've written that I actually feel accomplished by having written, I would reread and not constantly cringe or berate myself for my own work with Reaction and Critical Mass...
I really love this series, and I'm happy to know that I've been able to share it and that others who have read it have enjoyed it like I have. I really don't want to make a mistake and ruin this series- that would hurt a lot... And plus, I have an idea for at least one more story after this, one which more or less ties the ribbon together in a nice little bow. It was actually going to be the original sequel to Reaction, but then this came up because of the necessity of addressing this issue in a "timely" manner. I'm still not sure how I'm going to be able to pull off the next story in this series I want to write because of its nature... I could go into more detail about it, but... spoilers, and I'm not finished with Critical Mass yet.
Maybe that'll be ready in a few months.
What I'm really excited about is to see how rainbow and Luna find twilight, will a changeling betray chrysalis or maybe through some other means.
And though this chapter is quite sad, as the ones before, I can't wait for the end and the sequel because if you do this right, you know how the saying goes:
"The more bitter the journey, the sweeter the end"
Or at least I think that's a saying, i read someone comment that on another story I read a year or so ago, maybe a bit more.
8362303
Well, the way they find her might come out as a sort of author ex machina. It's not intended but I can see someone viewing it as such. Chrysalis and her swarm are, of course, bound to slip up. Actually, now that I think about it, I might be able to weave what I had originally planned in with another thing to make it seem less like an author ex machina...
This. Welcome to this story's reason for existing, more or less. You have nailed it quite well! It may not be completely accurate, but this. This story is bitter to serve as a backdrop to the end to make it all the more beautiful. If nothing bad happens, then all the nice things are a little less special. It's some of the beauty of context.
I don't think you crossed the line with this chapter, then again my line is pretty damn far away and hard to cross so that's not saying much. I personally put having all the characters act in character above not crossing an arbitrary, and subjective line. And with the way you built up chrysalis's character in this story means that I believe this would be possible.
Also my prediction was not bad, I correctly guessed how Luna would find twilight, though I thought rainbow would be injured so I wasn't spot on, but not bad.
Can't wait to read this story's conclusion and it's sequel.
The story is good enough that even if you had crossed the line a little, we would probably still read it, because we know it gets better from here on out
My god... this was intense... I loved it so much so don't worry about line crossing. If that's what this was you did it in the best way possible. Its well written to the point where I can almost see the scenery and hear the voices in my own mind. As devastating as this chapter is it's like you keep getting better with every chapter and it's phenomenal. You've got me incredibly excited for this upcoming chapter so I look forward to it very much.
This chapter was a bit sadder than I was expecting, not necessarily bad, just different and I can't wait for the sequel.
Also what will the sequel be called, we've had "meltdown" "reaction" and "critical mass", so I'm gonna guess the next story is going to be called "fusion" because you know twilight and rainbow have come together and are now one. (Ignore the fact that I'm pretty sure the power plant in the original story was a fission one)
Finally what was the point of the wheelchair sending twilight out of the hospital, she literally went from her hospital room to the main exit, and that's it. Also the same thing thing happened in the episode "read it and weep" at least I think it's called that, it's the one were rainbow discovers the daring do books. Is that a thing that normally happens that I don't know about?
8417094
The chapter was supposed to be sad, then end heartwarmingly. I'm not sure I pulled it off properly- it's not quite what I envisioned.
The name for the sequel depends on which route I go down. I'm mulling over two ideas, both of which I plan to write for this series, I just don't know which one will be first. Well, actually I kind of already know, but I'm trying to figure out what happens, etc. I have a couple names in mind, but now that you suggest that, I will most likely use it for one of the two ideas because of what it involves...
That said, there is a dual plotline going on to that story because of its nature, so I'm not one-hundred percent sure... I'm looking forward to that story and continuing this series in general.
The wheelchair was because she can't walk. She could have simply ridden on Rainbow's back to get out, but she didn't suggest that because she didn't like that idea- she's still... shall we say, "reserved." Timid might be a better way of putting it. She's not incredibly outgoing and eager- and she didn't return Rainbow's kiss that much/at all because of this. "Read it and Weep" is the name of that episode (or at least I'm pretty sure!) and I have no idea. I'm just sort of basing it off of that myself. Well, a combination of the fact that happened in that episode and then because Twilight can't walk.
Of course, Rainbow ended up carrying her back to the castle anyway, so the point is kind of moot, I guess- although in this case, she didn't have as much of a choice, and since Rainbow flew, fewer ponies were around.
Well done on this. I don't even know what to say but I know that anything I could say would be positive. It was a fitting end I feel. Sort of like finally seeing the light at the end of an incredibly long tunnel. Once again good job.
8419836
Thanks! I really appreciate all the positive comments I've had about this series and this story in particular. This story has had very positive feedback, despite my constant worries about it.
I wanted to write this story in a realistic sort of way, if you can call it that- Twilight's been through a lot of trauma, so she isn't just "okay" after all of that. It lingers, but there's hope at the end of it. That hope is supposed to be what makes the ending beautiful- or at least a combination of that and how Rainbow is there for Twilight.
Hope you're looking forward to the continuation of this series and the Author's Commentary series I have planned!
Can't wait 5o see the next story
Okay, been dying to mention/ask since early in the last story. But what of physical therapy? Cuddles are awesome, but if an athlete like rainbow can get rusty in this amount of time then twilight is adding a lot of time out of commission if she doesn't build her strength! Heck, with the way this series goes i wouldn't be surprised if she atrophied her entire body in an eternal cuddle
Anyway, that was actually the minor point. The big point is why didn't anything think of therapy/reducation to get a 100% horn weilder able to at least learn how to use her hooves for more than standing! This especially came to mind when twilight had her preening problem. It could have been doctors orders, princess getting her acquainted with alicornhood, or just having a friend teach her the obvious stuff at the risk of embarrassment. She'll never stop feeling useless if she's stagnating.
Side note, your clingy twilight all too painfully reminds me of myself in a relationship. I keep feeling like I'm yelling at myself when i have an "OH COME ON" moment towards twilight
Oh good, the doctor recommended exercise, about ti--SON OF A YAK, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!!
8578489
Well, yeah, Twilight's strength is pretty terrible right now, due to a combination or not exercising and, well, you know, what happened. Also, I think Twilight would be okay with that suggestion.
That's a good question... to answer it, I didn't think about it. Although I suppose from an in-story standpoint, this sort of problem isn't commonplace, and ponies probably made several oversights in regards to this... As to the preening issue, canonically, the other alicorns preen using their magic (with the possible exception of Cadance who was/is a former pegasus), so thus Twilight likely learned from Celestia or Luna, and so thus uses her magic. Or, maybe she just didn't bother learning to do it the normal way since she had magic. In Reaction, some of the embarrassing stuff was dealt with- I.E., having trouble bathing without magic.
Clingy Twilight... I've enjoyed that aspect of her in this series.
SON OF ANOTHER YAK
i just Imagine him drinking it through one of those loopy straws. :p
Also i really don't have anything to say that others haven't written essays on already, but I'll just say I've enjoyed this series immensely and that i look forward to any future installments
8579289
Having read you commenting that, I can say that I pictured that, laughed, and grinned at the idea. That's just perfect.
I'm glad you've enjoyed this story and series, and I hope I continue to entertain you with the next story! I'm still in the planning stage and trying to figure the next story out, but I'm making progress...
8579720
Glad you appreciated the mental imagery
Also no rush, i know from copious amounts of authors notes that this is a fairly intensive series to write.
I have you followed now though, so i won't let that next installment slip me by when you do get it going
Until then, have fun and enjoy yourself! And maybe some third redundant thing that just means be happy
I didn’t know this is the end
Please do another story about them and I hoped that by the end of the story Twilight will be her full self again.
after the dreams and disaster which is my first favorite.
And this is my second favorite story so far
Please oh please do continue this lovely story
8847956
I'm working on the sequel right now. I have plans, so don't worry! Although it's going to be a shorter story (it most likely won't end up being 100k long or more, since I'm shooting for 45k ish). I do have plans to use the sequel as a way to bridge this story with another longer one I'm trying to plan. Ideally, this series is nowhere near finished yet. There's still plenty of things which need to be addressed...
I recognized the title "Dreams and Disasters," and sure enough, I've read that. I only vaguely remember it, but I think I remember its sequel more.
8848013
Thank you very much and I appreciate that
That’s why being alone is a bad thing
I challenge myself to not cry in this story because I’ve read it for like a million times but it always get me.So much inspiration
After everything Chrysalis put Twilight through I was hoping for a scene where we got to see what happened to her. There are some stories where I don't mind Chrysalis so much, but you portrayed her in the perfect way for me to absolutely despise her in this story.
9447203
I didn't show what happened to Chrysalis because I don't really think it would have gone with the story all that well. That said, I suppose there's an opportunity for a side story about Chrysalis and Luna's fight...
Mind if I take a crack at that scene Or write it as a nightmare? or did you already do it and I didn’t see it?
9852367
I didn't write that scene, so if you really want to, you can go ahead and try to write it. If you want, I can attempt to help you with that, too.
9852433
awesome. ill start on it as soon as I have the time and send it to you when its finished.
Why did you name these fics like that?
I feel bad for poor Twi, I knew in the first story but it's pretty obvious now that all her eggs are sunny side up, no foals for twi.
Biological ones anyway...
This was actually probably the best chapter of the story. I love me some twidash cuddles but intense action scenes are even better.
ITS ABOUT DAMM TIME TWI AND DASH HAD AN ACTUAL KISS!
