Nightmare Moon has returned. Princess Celestia lied and betrayed her star pupil, Twilight Sparkle, leaving her woefully unprepared to fight the Queen of the Night.
But when she fails, rather than disposing of her and the ponies that tried to help her, Nightmare Moon sees an opportunity and a necessity. Having been locked away for one thousand years, who better to help her solidify her rule and keep Equestria from collapsing, all while rubbing it in her sister's face, than her own betrayed pupil?
Chapters (54)
Finally!
And then Discord, Changelings(x2), and Tierk happened.
Well, being able to control it tends to do that
It's no wonder she won so quickly, she had the high ground, and the moon is very high indeed.
I am loving this story so far, and I know it won't disappoint. Looking at the tags i can already get an inkling as to what may happen, and all I can say is I can't wait. Also, how often will this update?
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And then a unicorn who lost her only foalhood friend, a baby alicorn, a unicorn without a horn, a bureaucrat, and a psychotic filly happened.
The next seven chapters are finished, so either every Saturday or every other Saturday, depending on how I am feeling and how progress continues.
Looks like Twilight's about to see... 😎 the dark side of the Moon.
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Damn eroraf and his puns. Also nice work Orion.
This is now tracking shelf. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
I like this. Well done so far.
I absolutely love this! It's so hard to find good stories where the villain wins and a hero suffers the consequences, but this does that and more! I'm very very interested. Please continue.
I like this NMM. It's not often you see a villain who's actually smart, and thinks logically about their actions (with copious amounts of violence and revenge, obviously). All too often stories have the heroes win because the villain was just stupid, and not through any intelligence on the heroes part (Unless it's a comedy, then anything goes). Although this is a story where the villain is supposed to win, but seeing as authors sometimes just switch who's stupid around when this happens, this is great to see.
I'm also interested to see what happens the the rest of the mane 6. They aren't tagged, so I doubt they play a significant role, but I don't see them being thrown out of the story all together. Not for the start of it at least.
Oh s
t, Discord. No doubt he's going to really screw some stuff up in the future.
And when Nightmare learns Shining and Twilight are siblings... well, that's perfect leverage right there.
And here's to hoping Nightmare will punch Blueblood in the face, because that's always satisfying to read.
I'm really digging this! It's a concept that's been done a lot, but I really like your take on it. I also find it interesting that (at least so far) things seem to be working out comparatively problem-free for Nightmare. Of course, there are hints in this chapter that it's not going to stay that way forever.
Very interested to see both how Nightmare's relationship with Twilight and her ongoing struggle to understand Celestia's actions develop.
Thanks for writing it!
Geese nightmares moons like i treat pony’s like dirt, look down on them,I kill and threaten ponies and threaten to potentially kill innocents in a fight just to win. Why don’t ponys love me or My night.
I mean geese Luna I don’t know how you were raise but it almost common sense that if you act like a bi$&@ to people/pony’s then there probably not going to like you or things associated with you. I can almost see ponys in private behind her back referring to her and nightmare b$&@? Just for some sort of spite. Which would then bring everything back to square one of the princess of the night not having the love of her subjects.
Discord is a possible reason why no one has fought nightmare moon.
harmony isn't blocking his magic, he's only stoned because his magic needs a spark of chaos to wake up
This story keeps me captive. Please, more.
I love scenes where there are just characters talking to one another (If they're well done, obviously). Just seeing the dynamics between everyone can be extremely interesting, and the dynamic between NMM and Twilight is extremely interesting. I am loving this story so god damn much
In the immortal words of Rainbow Dash, "Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!" I cannot wait to read more!
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Where is it holding you?
Also, awesome story, please keep it coming.
NMM is in a really interesting position in this story. She wants ponies to love her and her night, while at the same time taking away their beloved ruler. She needs to strike that balance between fear and compassion, too far either way and it will all come crumbling down. Or in fear's case, she, along with everyone else, will be truly unhappy. And that's not what anyone wants.
I can't wait to see the public's reaction to Twilight being NMM's student. I can already tell that will go anything but well. People will probably say something along the lines of NMM threatening her (which is true), mind magic, Twilight going insane from grief, and probably a huge bunch of other stuff.
Can't wait to see what happens.
At least NMM recognizes the fear only takes you so far.
I like the current flow and breath of this story..thank you for sharing
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Given the position Nightmare Moon is in, and her goals, I think it'd be a bit silly for her not to realize that fear isn't the perfect solution for all of her problems.
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True but many don't
Great story
Nightmare Moon kind comes across as a slightly estranged version of Machiavelli. It’s a fascinating take on her.
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Niccolò Machiavelli? I had to use google to find out who that is. The quotes of his that come up seem like they could fit Nightmare Moon in this. In particular,
and to a lesser extent,
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Guy had a good grasp on politics, if a very bleak one. Mostly these days people reference him in relation to a calculating end justifies the means mentality, Machiavellian is even a word in the dictionary.
So far so good, this is an interesting story that I look forward to reading more of. I like how you are handling NMM and look forward to seeing more interactions between her and Twilight.
I liked this chapter at least, and am looking forward to the next one.
eyes
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Thanks!
I wan't to see her parents as well, I can only imagine they'd be just as nervous as Twilight. Probably believing that if they said something wrong NNM may hurt Twilight. That wouldn't happen, but they don't know that.
*Comfortably
I think we all know this bed is going to have some very... important, scenes. If you catch my drift.
Some very... memorable, moments. If you know what I mean.
Moments when the two of them are very... close, physically.
Some very – NOT SEX!!! Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm simply saying Twilight will be in her bed, upset about something, and Nightmare will comfort her, maybe with her wing – not in that way – like we saw in this chapter. What else could I possibly have meant.
Manehattan, with an 'a'. like Manhattan.
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In a much later chapter, there is a scene written with Twilight's parents, although it is somewhat short, and Nightmare Moon isn't there.
Comfortably fixed.
And no, this bed won't. It's not Nightmare's chambers.
There were something like 17-34 (it may have double counted how many) iterations of Manehatton. If it is not apparent, I did not check beforehand how Manhattan is spelled, nor did I remember the proper spelling from if I had read other fics with it! So thank you very much for pointing this out to me! ...and I'm sure that there are more of this error in future chapters. I'll have to look out for them.
nightmare moon was never out to get anyone. only celestia. and, an idea that she write a book, and make it available in multiple copies to all libraries/schools. depicting the true history of equestria, how SHE was involved in things celestia likely took credit for, can be one route to take.
I have to wonder if Twilight will eventually become inured to the killing intent that Nightmare gives off. The body can only produce so much adrenaline, but I imagine if she reaches the point where it ceased doing so she would likely collapse of exhaustion.
So, I like the chapter. It's a good plot, and advances characterization for both of the main characters.
That said, I do have a few points I'd like to bring up:
Firstly, Twilight not knowing combat magic. From what little canon there is on MLP magic and how it works, a spell for conjuring light or igniting a candle could easily be turned into a fireball or spontaneous combustion of your enemies via adding more magic and slightly altering your intent. Moreover, improvisation is key in their magic. Twilight has shown that she's highly resourceful and creative, and I strongly believe she would have made a few combat spells, if only to get the childish "cool factor" from doing so. There's nothing quite like running around with bolts of lightning flying from your hands (speaking from experience when I was 16 with a tesla coil, a bunch of spare parts, and way too much free time to be healthy).
Secondly, Nightmare's motivations. She wants to be respected? She wants to be loved? Really? Luna is the princess of dreams, and probably the closest thing MLP has to a psychologist. She "helps ponies in their dreams" and AFAIK that takes a lot more in-depth work then "throw magic at the problem." I have a feeling both Luna and Celestia would strongly disagree with "helping" through mind-magic, especially after seeing how NMM reacted to the acorn. Assuming NMM isn't a completely separate existence hijacking Luna's body, she should have access to all those memories, and thus know that her actions are almost diametrically opposed to what she claims to want.
Thirdly, NMM vs Celestia as rulers: I think it's safe to say Celestia is a decent ruler. She's kept the peace, social reform has started, and is a just ruler. What she isn't is progressive in a technological sense. The one train we see in the show dates back to Sombra's time or earlier, and outside of a few oddly-placed tech pieces (looking at Vinyl Scratch's dj system, some of Twilight's devices, etc) Equestria is largely pre-industrial, and Celestia hasn't bothered trying to advance it. That gives a clear avenue of being "better" than Celestia: technological revolution. Go down in history for advancing Equestria's tech level drastically, instead of Celestia's "head buried in the sand, everything's fine as is, if it's not broken don't fix it" methods. I guess that isn't really an issue, but an idea. Meh.
Anyway, I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Antiquity meets modernity and both have point to make and things to learn.
True, but less of one than you think. Your knowledge of strategy and tactics is a thousand years out of date and you're unaware of technomagical advancements that affect the equation, Moonbutt.
There are ways to defend a city like Manehattan that don't involve walls and castles. We stopped using them as primary fortifications long ago for a reason. Wanna bet the Guard has unicorns that can cast some sort of artillery spell? And Shiny can't be the only shield specialist they've got.
Perhaps now, Twily. But if I was an angry minotaur general ordered to, say, launch an invasion of the land that stole the sun, I'd be looking for opportunities like Manehattan... fat, rich cities nopony is looking at defending because my foe has them out on their rear flank where they're confident they'll have plenty of opportunities to see an invasion force before they could actually arrive.
Fat, rich, port cities with fleets of even fatter merchant freight carriers entering and leaving on a daily basis? Oooh, there's something that minotaur'd like to ship to Manehattan... an army!
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I think I did address the "combat" magic aspect in this chapter (or if I didn't, then I have a strange memory of having it discussed; or it is in a later chapter). Essentially it depends on the definition of combat magic. Twilight knows spells that can be weaponized, as you point out, but those spells aren't dedicated combat spells. She can, for example, use her knowledge of fire-based magic to kill her enemies (and I have planned for this to be addressed, but I've yet to actually write this part because I've not reached this point). But it is not necessarily a dedicated combat spell which would be, in my mind, more practical or at least more efficient. To elaborate on this point, it's more efficient to shoot someone than burn them alive. And on this note, I will say that there's something of a discrepancy with this given that telekinesis should be a very good substitute for guns, and at least as of right now, I don't have an answer for this.
But to be more specific on what I mean as "combat magic" I'd be referring to spells designed for combat (which would probably inherently imply designed to kill). I would classify being able to manipulate weight/gravity as utilitarian, but also most likely impractical in battle. I would imagine it would be better to, for example, fire off a bolt of magic rather than reversing gravity. So yes, Twilight can technically defend herself, but it's not necessarily that she'd be capable of truly protecting her life if it came down to her or whoever was trying to kill her.
Also, it might need to be factored in that Twilight isn't trained for combat of any kind. She's a scholar, a student, not a soldier. Most likely she would freeze up in such distress. And this also factors into her not knowing dedicated combat magic: Princess Celestia wouldn't have taught her that, and would not have liked for Twilight to learn that (possibly because of her age), and based on that (in addition to Twilight's character as per what we've seen of her as a foal [and I could be misremembering this]) it seems unlikely that Twilight would know any dedicated offensive spells. However she has a lot of potential in that she understands the theory behind spellwork.
It might not be entirely accurate to say Nightmare's motives are love. Respect is a motive, assuredly, but revenge against her sister is right there alongside respect, if not the primary driver. Her motives are elaborated on further in later chapters. One thing I will say about this is that Nightmare "knows" that she can't get ponies to love her, or at the very least is very emphatic that it is impossible for that to happen (partially because of her hatred of her sister, which on occasion does blind her and proves severely detrimental to her goals. One example of this is in the next chapter).
And I find it interesting that you bring up the "head buried in the sand" point. I know that in one of the later chapters that I've written, it's partially addressed, though not to the point you make. I could comment more on this, but I don't want to say things and they end up not being correct because I can't remember for certain, plus I don't want to spoil anything else.
This was supposed to be a quick reply. It ended up taking ~15-26 minutes to compose. And a lot more detailed than I envisioned.
If you have any other points you'd like me to address or other questions, feel free to ask! Although I don't want to spoil anything, so I might be vague.
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I see... yeah, this does address most of my points. As to the "why can't telekinesis be used as a gun" thing, perhaps go with the idea that the speed at which the item moves and the distance from the caster both increase the cost of the magic exponentially? And telekinesis in it's base state entirely encircles an object, preventing it from being used like the hammer of a gun, because one of the spell's built-in safeties is that the velocity of whatever object is being controlled is completely negated upon starting or releasing the spell, with a built-in inertial dampener to prevent whatever you're using it on from breaking due to whiplash (in-universe reasoning: telekinesis seems to be an entirely instinctual thing, and as a result subconscious thoughts and aversion to hurting yourself or others add on all sorts of safeties for whatever weird ideas you come up with).
Thanks for the in-depth response, and I hope this helps a bit :)
Yeah, Celestia was a constant for a thousand years, it's no wonder the entire government seemed to practically revolve around her. Although, she probably designed the government to revolve around her to ensure her rule as well a political stability. The country couldn't get rid of her without everything falling apart since she integrated herself so much into its workings. If NMM wasn't there as an instant replacement, the entire government would collapse unless there were contingencies.
I've been watching this old British political comedy from the 80s called 'Yes, minister' (And soon I'll watch its sequel: Yes, Prime minister. This has most certainly made me much more cynical when it comes to government. Although the British prime minister at the time this was airing said that this show was practically a perfect portrayal of government and the (not so) civil service. I can't recommend it enough, honestly. It's hilarious and informative. I've also been watching this other political comedy called "The news", but this one makes me cry rather than laugh.
There was also that time you defeated Celestia, don't forget that.
Actions done solely for the purpose of affecting your image, like a true politician. Brilliant.
Changelings
This was a good chapter, I am really loving this story. Can't wait for the next one
Blind Rip Van Winkle
Good to see the deer are strong without being idiots.
I'm always glad to see new chapters. Will we be seeing Twilight's parents at some point? I imagine they'd be rather worried.
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There's a short scene with them in a future chapter; it'll be a few weeks before it's out. Should be, assuming nothing goes wrong, in 3 weeks.
This story is quickly becoming one of my favourites, I love it so much.
Hey glad I came across this story I really like it, awesome job with the story, hope to see more chapters in the future.
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At the absolute least, the next 5 chapters are written and almost ready for publishing, so there will be more!
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Awsome, look forward to read themヽ(^。^)丿
Have to wonder if Moony will realize it’s hard to avoid fear when it involves actual primal instincts, as it certainly seems like Twilight has an awareness to her in much the way prey to a predator.
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Your third point, the technology aspect, fails to take into account why we humans advanced technology like we did, we had a need too. Equestrai doesnt have a need, they have magic filling all the spaces our tech does, why would you build a machine to do what magic already does? Its like when NASA spent billions of dollars creating a pen that could be used in zero gravity(space) and the Soviets just used a pencil.
It would be a waste of time and recources building a redundeant object for a nonexistant gap.
Also author, think youre missing the AU tag as this deifintly is an AU.