Colgates Rants 5

by StormLuna

Cadence's Mane Stylist

The Appointment

Like I have said before I have been getting more and more patients coming from the Crystal Empire and the next one is part of the royal system up there. Is she royalty? No she is not but she does work close with my lovely pink princess slave. My patient was the one who always made Cadence's mane all hideous whenever she had important guests visiting up there.

When she came in I tapped my hoof on my sign regarding payment and she handed me her insurance card. CrystalCare? I knew exactly what it was, it was a subsidiary of TiaCare but rather than being pissed, the wheels in my mind began to turn. While I have taken things from the treasury up there before, there is one thing that I have always wanted but have not been able to get. I'll tell you one thing, if this pony can't pay, my ultimate dream will come true.

After looking at her card I took her back and I swear, she must not have heard about what a bitch I am when it comes to ponies who don't take care of their teeth because she happily opened her mouth and revealed something horrible. Her teeth were crusted with plaque so badly that like other patients, they were yellow! Now she didn't have any cavities but she did have quite a few chipped and cracked teeth.

Naturally I asked her about this and like I get from other ponies from up there, she said it was a tradition for her to try and eat crystals. I swear, these crystal ponies must be complete idiots. They know the damn things break their teeth but there is one thing that I am going to have to find out though, how the hell do they digest these crystals? Are they somehow related to the Pie family or do they merely try to chew them up and then spit them out? Oh well, I can figure that out later, I have a patient who could make my dreams come true to deal with right now.

I hadn't done anything truly sadistic for a while and I wanted to have some fun. Like I told you, her teeth were crusted with plaque so I decided to use a mechanical brush with my strongest whitening toothpaste on it. This was not any regular brush though, it had metallic bristles. Oooh, this is going to be fun, and likely bloody. Once I got started she began to scream in agony and blood quickly began gushing out of her mouth and naturally some dripped back in her throat and choked her. Hey I'm not all bad so I did clear her airway!

By the time I was done cleaning her teeth they were stained red with blood and her gums were torn up but you know what? I don't care! Ponies should know that if they don't take care of their teeth, that bad things are going to happen. Now, she still had one little problem, those broken off, uneven length teeth. Of course I've dealt with this before and like with the others, I took a saw and cut those teeth down to where they were of even length.

Once I got finished, she bolted out of that chair and get this, she tried rushing out the door without paying me and for that the royals will be punished! Now of course I knew her insurance wouldn't cover anything but maybe she has bits on her. I grabbed her in my aura and dragged her back to the counter where I ran her card. Just like with every other TiaCare subsidiary, it said that I was out of their company network. She was obviously unhappy over this and unfortunately for her, she had no money, so her and I took a little trip to the Crystal Empire.

---

Collecting the Ultimate Payment

After boarding the train I could tell that she was nervous, well part of that may be because I gave her a sadistic grin the whole way up there as I dreamed of what would soon be mine. Once we arrived I ordered her to take me to the crystal castle. When we got out there, Cadence was out with Flurry Heart. Of course the moment Flurry Heart saw me, she began giggling, flew over to me, landed on my back and wrapped her hooves around me. She is such a sweet little thing, I can't wait to tell Cadence about my plans and I guarantee you, Flurry will love them!

Cadence gave me a nervous look and asked me what happened. I told her about how her mane stylist could not pay her bill so I had come to get compensation for my work. She immediately led me over towards the treasury and it just so happens that we wound up walking by the crystal heart. I stopped, pointed my wing at it and ordered, "The crystal heart. Give it to me, now!"

Of course she flat out refused because without it, the empire would freeze over and cease to exist but I don't care. It ain't just the heart that I want! Remember, Shining Armor has been unable to pay me and so has Cadence so that means they are forever bound to my agreement. Would I take the heart right the and there, not yet. I decided to have a meeting with the royal couple up there.

Once we got into the throne room Cadence tried to levitate her daughter off of my back. Key word though, tried! She managed to break Cadence's aura and clung to me tighter. Then the funniest thing ever happened. She leaned forward and said "ma-ma" right into my ear! Oh how sweet, little Flurry Heart thinks I'm her mama! Well that gave me an idea, one that Cadence would hate but like I said, Flurry would love it.

The first thing I did was tell those two that I am taking Flurry Heart away from them because they were unfit parents. Of course they asked why but you know what? I simply told them that I was taking her because I could but Flurry wasn't the only thing I would take. Right then and there I decided to dissolve their marriage. Hey, I want Cadence full time and whatever I want, I get! I am the number one princess and that is how things work in Equestria.

Both of them objected and what was even funnier is that since those two were no longer married, Shining Armor was no longer a prince so I decided that he would return to being a guard pony. Would I put him in Ponyville? Hell no I wouldn't, I don't want him anywhere near my new lovely pink sex slave so I sent him to Manehattan to guard the museum. Yeah the pay isn't good but he'll make it, well somewhat anyway.

Now the three of us were on the way to the train station to begin our new lives when I realized I was forgetting one thing, the thing that I went up there for, the crystal heart. The moment I took that thing out of its holding thing, the skies turned orange like they did when there was no love or light protecting that place. Now for the fun part, what will happen when I get it out of there! The arctic reclaimed what rightfully belongs to it.

Before I continue on I shall tell you what I have decided regarding Flurry Heart since she is my daughter now. Hey, she called me mama so I must be her mama, right? I decided that unlike it was with the Cake Twins, Trixie, Aria and Adagio would not be raising her. I decided that I was the only one who could instill all the qualities of a good pony I want in her. Despite her liking to break things, I will take her to work with me and I plan on eventually training her to be my hygienist. That way I won't have to both clean and work on ponies' teeth. I will be able to see more patients and make more money.

Of course Cadence asked if I would ever get to see her and of course my answer was HELL NO! Flurry must forget all about her former mother and besides, what if Cadence was to try to corrupt her and tell her to either eat sweets or break things? I can't have that.

---

My Message

Now I have collected the ultimate forms of payment, I dissolved a marriage, I have a daughter to call my own, I have a lovely pink sex toy and I have a pretty ancient relic to display in my treasury! To make matters even better Flurry Heart is now the number two princess in Equestria. Yep, she is ahead of Luna who tried to cheat me, Celestia who has cheated me for years and of course Twilight and Cadence who are nothing more than slaves in my harem!

Now let this be a warning to all of you. Do not try to cheat me or come to me with bad teeth. You have seen what has happened to patients over the years. With some I wrecked their credit, some I have seized their assets, some I have harvested organs from, some I have killed, some I have cast into Tartarus and in the case of Cadence, I took a ton from her. It is kind of funny that she lost all of this just because her mane stylist couldn't pay her bill isn't it? Just take care of your teeth and pay me what you owe me and you'll be fine!

Oh, and this upcoming Wednesday I am offering a ten percent discount on appointments for patients who have perfect teeth and pay me what they owe me! I'll just seize the assets of the non-paying bums and idiots who don't take care of their teeth to make up for it. I look forward to taking care of all your dental needs!

Dr. M. Colgate

Comments

[CSC]

Wow. What a corrupt dentist. Still, this was quite the story! Great job!

[StormLuna]

7976869 Oh her corruption will never die. I'm thinking about doing a rants about other Hasbro series since she claimed her number one prize in Equestria. If I do that, I think the Biskit Twins from LPS would be very fun since they are wealthy and the LPS versions of pre-reformation DT and SS. Blythe will be a fun non-rant. Yes if I do that they would be ponified as would all the other human characters. The pets though, they would be sent to Fluttershy.

[CSC]

7976874 Oh boy.

[StormLuna]

7976880 Of course there is also the bumbling dog catcher on Pound Ponies and his midget, over-bearing mother. I've seen a few minutes of that and I swear, they make him dumber than Braeburn.

[CSC]

7976884 Interesting.

[Violet Shade]

7976874 If you do make those Biskit Bitches suffer. I can't stand them!

[Cloverleaf]

I just almost expect that some lawyer will actually read the patient/provider clause, find some issue with it that basically ends up making it null, and Colgate's life comes crashing down cause now every non paying patient has a right to sue and she's basically committed treason....well, all of them post Tirek since her coronation would have nullified all charges up to then.

[Ri2]

So...Colgate is an absolutely horrible person who physically and verbally abuses her patients, has enslaved several ponies, stolen children, destroyed an empire, dissolved a marriage, and somehow has approval from GOD. Why are we rooting for her again?

Additionally, why are people so dumb they keep coming to her and/not having a way to pay her despite public knowledge of how awful she is?

[StormLuna]

7978269 Well Colgate is a pony and this is Equestria we are talking about. There is no "god". LaurFa is the Creator and she is fine with it....she would be deemed as a Goddess. Ponies go to her because the next nearest dentist is hundreds of miles away and it is cheaper for them to go to her. Also, many don't know about her ruthless methods of collecting payments. And yes she has stolen children. She is the number one princess in the end because of the nature of her contracts so she can do anything she wants to. She took the Cake Twins because she thought their parents were unfit, she took Flurry Heart because Flurry loved her and wanted to mold her into something more than Cadence would have....besides, Cadence wound up being her slave anyway.

Regarding Amethyst and Sea Swirl, they know about the harem but Colgate just said cheated to make herself sound more corrupt. We root for Colgate because she wants ponies to take care of their teeth! Besides, who wouldn't love a pony who punishes the bad ones?

[Ri2]

7978283 ...In what way are most of the ponies she harms 'bad ones?' Just because they don't take care of their teeth?

[StormLuna]

7978286 In the eyes of Colgate, yes. Just as she is in my "Colgate's Practice" series, she is obsessed with forcing proper oral hygiene on ponies but in the "Rants" stories, she also focuses on the business side of things.

[Ri2]

7978292 She seems pretty bad to me. Funny but bad

[StormLuna]

7978297 These "Rants" stories are meant to be trollfics. That is why I made her seem a lot worse than your normal dentist would be but in the "Colgate's Practice" series, that is the true her. Of course in it, it is primarily based around bad teeth and not much around the business aspect of things.

[Ri2]

7978308 Which one is the Practice series?

[StormLuna]

7978311 To see them you have to have it fixed where you can see the mature stories because they contain extreme gore.

Either click to see all my stories or in the search bar, switch it to stories and type in Colgate's Practice. There are four of them so a link to the second one is on the first one and so forth. If you love gore fics, I'm sure you'll love them.

[Ri2]

7978327 Ah

[StormLuna]

[Twilight sparkle565]

11009166
yup colgates is slowing becoming corrupted or already is a corrupted.

her corruption will never stop until the end of time.

[StormLuna]

11010951

Nope, she has been corrupted beyond the point of no return here.

[StormLuna]

11010968

Tirek was in his old, frail state when Colgate took him in so no, he couldn't.