Princess Celestia invites Twilight to go to the Hearts and Hooves Day Ball with Prince Blueblood. Twilight not wanting to make her teacher angry she accepts even though Rarity objects to the idea. Rarity now wants to spy on Twilight at the dance, but she needs a date, so she invites Spike. Rarity also needs the help of a Pegasus, so she reunites Rainbow Dash with her love from flight school - Thunder Flicker.
Page generated in 0.098 seconds
Total duration
784 users online
1,038,938 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Poor Twilight... this will not end well
I love the idea but it seems a bit rushed like the idea kept you up at night and you had to write it down at that moment. Still good Now I sit and wait for more and hopefully Spike does not get his heart broken out of this. Sorry big Spike fan and Spike and Rarity fan.
memefaces.net/wp-content/gallery/cat-memes/continue-cat.jpg
Bluelight is best ship! And least written one too!
Can't wait to see how this turns out though.
Poor sentence structure and punctually a disaster. Especially in the letter by Princess Celestia. But I do, however, LOVE the plot. Very interesting
Bad POV! If you won't keep still, you'll have to sit in the corner!
820486
820488
820401
When writing this story I really got into the idea of it and I didn't really take my time when editing it I more of just skimmed for misspelled words.For part two I'm going to take my time on it more and make sure that all the grammar is good and keep the POV in one place.
I really like this idea. It has a lot of potential. Hower, there are a few run-ons and grammar issues. I'd like to see where this goes.
820521
Thank you. One of my pet peeves is improper spelling and grammar. Keep up the good work!
Ow. Head hurt. Way to rushed, like Pinkie talking rushed. This is gonna sound really rude, but it's meant to be taken constructively. Have you ever talked to a girl about someone they have a crush on, interest in, or love? It's usually not the most exciting thing in the world notably, but the way you conveyed Rainbow's explanation sounded horrible. You had no breaks and you forgot to put "parenthesis" in her whole speech. Huge tense issues through out. You jumped between past and present constantly and multiple times in the same sentence. You either over explained or under explained everything.
Concept: good.
Dialogue: bad.
Detail: bad.
Grammar: bad.
It needs a lot of work. Find a editor, and save this before it burns to the ground. So much promise, don't waste it.
Maybe Princess Celestia straightened Blueblood out since that night at the Grand Galloping Galla. Maybe he really will act like a gentlecolt on his date with Twilight, out of fear of his aunt punishing him if nothing else.
Or maybe the reason Blueblood treated Rarity the way he did was because he knew she was just after him because he was a Prince, and he knows Twilight Sparkle isn't like that, so maybe he really will act like a gentlecolt to her because he really likes her.
i hope its the latter because i like TwilightXBlueblood.
821324
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Plus I love the idea of RD getting starstruck over a stallion.
Hm... this could be amusing. I want to see how this date goes personally. Twi being awkward is always fun.
im just looking at this '
'emoticon and is it just me or does she look like shes giving us fresh eyes '
'
820486
This, I would love to see this improved and updated!
Please update