A lonely Changeling, living in a lonely kingdom of Changelings, has found interest in a nearby pony town.
After feeding some of the ponies in the town, he has been wanting to go there again.
He met with another pony, and both began a boring life in town, until the pony found out about his true identity.
Notes...
* The title of the chapters is the one doing the narration. And their way of narrating depends on what they see, what they feel, and what they think.
* Cover art made by Lone wolf from the East (click here to go to his dA account)
* Also, I have made a sequel of this fanfic.
Chapters (5)
I thought it said Horny Hoof.
That was a really good first chapter. looking forward to the next one
im so confused
this doesnt make sense henry was younger and now he is older and now she doesnt know he is a changeling anymore but now she had to find out 5 more times and 7 different waking in a dream constanly WTF THIS MAKES NO SENSE! ITS EASIER TO FOLLOW THE STORY OF DOCTOR WHO!!!
850195
In the other parts of the internet, I'm known to write confusing stories.
Sorry about that.
Anyway, I guess you misread the fanfic.
Henry is older than Daisy.
But Henry is a Changeling, so he doesn't know a lot about pony stuff.
So Daisy is the one teaching him, making her feel like she's still the older sibling.
852565 but what about him already telling her about he is a changeling and the 5 other times in the story?
852868
In my fic, they talk through "quotation marks".
If there are no quotations, then it's all narration.
they're narrating.
the title of the chapter is the one narrating the story.
i suppose the dreams part isn't visibly telling the readers that it's a dream, as i intended.
but I'll try and read my own fics again and see which parts are you referring to.
I think I understood the story including the dreams, though english is not my native language. It's a cool story, but when it got gripping (when Henry revealed his true identity) the Story just cut off... and continued later when Henry already left...
But cool story anyway ;)
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/225/400/sweetie%20belle%20that%20is%20beautiful.jpg
When first i saw title i though it will be shitty stuff... how wrong i was
Great stuff, especially way of narration.
This grammar and style is horrifying. The story wasn't too bad, but for the most of it, I stayed confused because the "entries" were very brief and nondescript. I guess you were trying to do journal style writing, but there were way too many lines that should have been voiced because the scene does not make sense when the dialogue is happening in the character's head. One small piece of advice, when you write "..." include at least one space after it.
DAAAAAWWWWWW
Nice, I enjoyed this story of yours
Quite different. I'm not a fan of First Person fics but you pulled this off nicely. Consider it approved for Twilight's Library
Very good, some slight issues with "him/her" and "he/she", where sometimes "he" is put instead of "she" and such...
Overall a great short little fic. The ending was a bit sad, I didn't cry, but I came close.
A shame that the sequel is cancelled, but even so, this is great on it's own without a sequel.
Why is this written like free-form poetry
8640049
Since I never finished chapter one my first time through...
Good chapter! Weird format, and frequent grammar and spelling issues, though.
Decent chapter. Same issues as before.
Depressing. Same issues as previous chapters.
Deus Ex Cloth. (Need I repeat that the issues persist?)
ANGERY.
Wait, isn't she the author of Daring Do? She can't die!!!
WHAT NO
BAD
ANGERY!!!!!
Wait I thought Daisy was a girl.
HNGG MY HEART
Definitely could use a bit of a rewrite and bittersweet end but good story overall.
Good mess that was sad! I don't usually enjoy sad stories and probably would not have started this one if I had known how it would end, but wow, that one hurts my heart. Overall it had a good plot and was written in a unique style. Not the best in terms of grammar, but I stuck it out and finished the story, so it wasn't the worst either. Good job!