After a normal day of training and ''being awesome'' Rainbow Dash finds one of her friends crying at the edge of a forest. She's determined to find out why! However things don't go as she thought they would.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 6th Jul, 2016
- offline last seen Mar 23rd, 2017
Rainbow Dash-TwiDash
Just a random dude wich try's to write story's (Don't worry not gone just less active).
Rainbow Dash-TwiDash
Joined 6th Jul, 2016 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- GothicGummiBear · 785 words · 34 16 · 1.8k views
- snobbleweb · 1.5k words · 76 6 · 3.6k views
- Squiggly Cup · 11k words · 54 0 · 3k views
- Bronyxy · 5.9k words · 42 7 · 2.5k views
- FluffyWeirdo · 16k words · 33 5 · 1.3k views
- Vocal Range · 5.4k words · 56 6 · 3.9k views
- Fiji Firefox · 5.8k words · 89 19 · 4.3k views
- todorokishh · 1.1k words · 41 14 · 2.9k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.127 seconds
Total duration
1,130 users online
1,820,292 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well, that was a pretty cute one shot, nice story.
7480439 Thanks
7480482 You're welcome.
It's toy story, isn't it?
7480670 Do you mean the song reference you mean? Then no.
I think I slurp the robot.
Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol?
ETA: Obscure reference is mildly obscure.
7492001 Yes you got it!
. It was indeed Chasing Cars by snow patrol! I have been listening to that songs for days and It made both a fun reference and a nice title
7492005 I tripped over that song, linked from TVTropes, while I was in a particularly dark mood one day. Sometimes crying is a good thing.
Looking for a story to kill time, I stumble across this, and so I read to the 5th paragraph and I'm already bored; the sentence structure is dull as bricks with "RD does this and then this. She then did this and this. Then she did this in this way and then she did this." Honestly, and not to be rude, this sounds like something written by a 7 year old. The problem I have with this story is it's not interesting, not by fault of the plot but just by how boring the writing is. The tone of the writing should reflect the content in the story, so if there's a chase scene the sentences should be short and fast or if there's an emotional scene the writing should be slow and thoughtful, as this story feels robotic. Apart from that, the plotline is fine, just the execution wasn't very good but that will come with practice and reading other fics.
So, overall, good story - just the structure needs work.
7493309 I only recently started writing so I'm still improving a lot.
And it doesn't help either that my English writing is okay. But I'm trying my best.
I'll do my best to try to improve upon the execution of my stories.
But thanks for the feedback
7492792 Yeah still learning the more complex feelings/facial expressions.
So I'm kinda stuck using more basic ones in my stories so far.
Since I mostly focused my writing of English in general and since I just started writing stories I haven't had the time to look up what other expression are called since I only know them in Dutch.
7493309 I didn't even get that far. The formatting is fit to make a pony's eyes bleed!