Missing Pages & Scrawled Footnotes

by Ice Star

Horrible Words [Twilight/Celestia] [Friendshipping] [Original Minific]

Author's Note:

This is the original short version I submitted for the Twilestia prompt collab. The thread where it can be found is here. My prompt was 'chariot' and the picture that helped inspire my entry was used for the full one-shot version.

E/Drama/Platonic

I shall not disparage destiny, because I have always had little else to believe in, but my heart is still filled with doubt. Even as I watch you leave me for the first time, I cannot be proud. I feel nothing like the page’s mother sending away her only colt with dreams he will become a knight. I do not think this because I know the cheapness of dreams, but because without you, Twilight Sparkle, I have little to look forward to.

I have always had a desperate need of you, one I have never been able to bring myself to show. My need of you has been greater than the need for anypony else in my eternity, though I would never blatantly put that pressure on you. How could I say such a thing? That, I, the goddess have a greater need for you than you did for me when you were a filly? There are many fears that crawl up my throat so desperately as I watch your chariot depart, and I could not bear to voice any of them. Goodness me, I am burdened by the mere thought of all this emotion, and it weighs upon me more than crowns and chariots.

Is it any wonder I have always envied the statues in my garden?

Here I stand, in the city, I have built for another, and the nastiness of powerlessness is upon me. I don’t want to watch you go because I have never wanted you to leave me, but I always knew I would have to make you do this. Such is destiny. Such is fate. I have always said that destiny, and dear life itself, never let bad things happen to good creatures. Only those who are wicked will ever find even the smallest amount of wickedness come back to them. And is destiny not the harmony I want you to discover for yourself?

The thing that pains me the most about your great destiny, Twilight Sparkle, is that I cannot orchestrate every step of it myself. You cannot comprehend how dearly I want to pluck every string in the symphony of your life, to give you reward beyond measure, and heroism without risk. Instead, I find myself idle and unable to lift hoof or horn to help you.

Even if I could, how could I help you against that which I could never face myself?

Who I could not face myself. The same who I have always had to stare down and say was a storybook legend instead of my own sister. The same sister who you have spoken of as an utter monster and breezie tale paragon of evil for as long as you have lived, as have all my other Faithful Students. You do not remember all your foalhood naivete and first stumbling steps to analyze the breezie tales that never made enough ‘sense’.

But I do.

And now that you are gone, I am left with only my horrible words.