Cadance] [Friendshipping]

Author's Note:

Demon facts of Favorable Alignment omake thing part one go!

Demon Racist

Comedy|Slice of Life|Teen

Characters: Sombra and Pink Butt

Sombra shuffled the stack of papers grasped in his aura boredly, while in the chair next to him, Cadance eyed his coffee mug warily.

"Isn't that a bit much?" She pointed to the mug with one gold-clad forehoof.

Sombra arched an eyebrow and looked at her with the beginnings of a glare. "My smug mug is perfect, thank you very much. Any further complaints about is can go there." He jerked his own metal-clad forehoof to a nearby trash can nearby their table at the conveniently empty Canterlot Cafe.

Cadance stared at the mug that did indeed display a smug image of Sombra himself on it. "Oookay then. I'm the only one who thinks two pairs of freaky demon eyes staring at me is going to be odd."

Sombra scowled, thrust a few papers at her, jabbing the pink mare in the chest with the sheets - half of which he had under his free forehoof and not in crimson aura - and mouthed the words 'demon racist'.

Cadance mouthed 'sorry' back. It was instinct, after all, and Sombra noticed.

"Living with the crystal ponies does terrible things to anypony, so don't think that you're an exception."

Cadance frowned in confusion, accepting the papers. "Terrible how?"

"You're terribly polite," Sombra grumbled, taking a sip from his coffee.

"That so bad, eh?"

Sombra shuddered. "Just look up the topic I drafted for us today."

"'All demons are created having knowledge implanted within them,'" Cadance read.

Sombra took another sip of coffee. Cadance wished for a scone, but muttered 'huh' instead.

"Something wrong?" Sombra asked.

"So... you were born already knowing everything?"

Her reply earned a snort from Sombra. "First off, I was created, not born. We've been over this before. If you're going to be learning more about demons and dark magic from me then we'll need to have you pick up some proper jargon here. Second, no, I did not know everything."

Narrowing her eyes in suspicion, Cadance squinted at Sombra, a sunny day in Canterlot showing behind her. "But... you're such a smart alec-"

"I prefer clever bastard or smartass," Sombra interjected.

"I'm trying to be nice! Polite, eh? That aside, I can't believe you didn't know everything when you created. I mean, c'mon... you can know everything. Guess my favorite color."

"Pink," Sombra replied flatly, his stare even flatter.

Cadance swallowed, as pale as though she had seen a ghost. "You're good."

"'Good' is an insult to me."

"...Okay, that's off topic-"

"Says the mare who keeps steering us into discussions of trivial matters instead of staying on the topic of my less-than esteemed species."

"Gotcha," Cadance replied, clearing her throat slightly. "Please name something you didn't know upon your moment of creation," she said in the politest tone possible.

Sombra's eyebrow rose again, even higher and he smirked. "Well miss, just let me know who bad guard is going to be and maybe I'll go so far as to consider whatever deal you'll be suggesting."

Both giggled, a pleasant summer breeze wafting through the cobbled street, bringing the fresh scent of the mountain with it.

"Seriously, Sombra, what didn't you know?"

He considers her question, a hoof tapping his chin in thought. "My eventual fate, the geography of the world, the cultures of the world, how to cook, what a cactus was - oh, and these are only examples, by the way - and where ponies came from-"

"Wait!"

Sombra looked at the pink source of the outburst. "Yes...?"

"You didn't know where ponies come from?"

Sombra shook his head. "Not then."

"How old were you?"

"When I was created? Fourteen."

"Okay..." Cadance said, drawing out the single word in a way that gained a suspicious look from Sombra.

"Is that a problem, Mac?"

"I was twelve when my mom gave me the talk and told me that if I ever brought a colt home past eight she'd force me to eat canned spaghetti until I cried a river which she'd make me wash away all ties to the family with. Oh, and that she'd paint my room pea green and I'd never be her daughter and my cutie mark would be the canned mockery that calls itself real pasta. There was also a lot of cursing."

Sombra's eye twitched. "Your mother sounds lovely."

"She's the kindest mare I know." Cadance smiled brightly.

"And what is this talk you speak of? Is it a ritual that ponies have?"

Drawing back, Cadance narrowed her eyes again and took a super suspicious and skeptical sip from her nearby milkshake. "Sombra... you know where ponies come from don't you?"

The slight teasing element in her tone was not lost on Sombra. Yet, he still couldn't help but cock his head to the side and look at her with an equal measure of suspicion. "Do you really take me to be that unaware of ponies? Of course I know. I'm older and smarter than you and hardly a child."

"How'd you find out?"

"A book."

"Okay then, non-pony friend of mine, what was your reaction?"

Sombra made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a snort of disgust before he rested his head in a forehoof and gazed at Cadance with level indifference. Also judgement.

"Horror, to be honest. I never gave too much thought to were ponies came from, other than they weren't magic-based life forms like me and they required both a mare and a stallion to produce a rugrat. I didn't know why until I learned to read."

"...That's slightly underwhelming. I thought your spooky demon magic would have told you."

Sombra gave her a star of mild disgust, exasperation, and judgement. There was minor traces of annoyance too, and that is what drove Sombra to drink. Coffee.

He made a series of disgruntled demon noises afterwards.

Cadance just blinked.

"My magic isn't the answer to everything. At that age, I just pitied mares."

Cadance blinked again. "Uh, why?"

"Giving birth. Do I need to add any more?"

Cadance laughed loudly. "So let's be glad you aren't a mare, eh?"

"I'd make a great mare," Sombra huffed, crossing his forehooves over his chest. "My beauty transcends such a silly barrier that would be being male of female."

Cadance didn't have a response for that.

"You know it's true, Mac. Your silence speaks for itself because you know the power that I have obeys no such biological dictation."

"You'd have an even prettier mane as a mare," Cadance whispered, her gaze distant.

Sombra gave her a look.

Maybe it was a worried look. Maybe it wasn't.

But it was still a look.

In a flash of blue light, Cadance was gone.

1,266 views