Hunches
“I’ve been keeping a secret from you,” said Rosewill the unicorn.
She was old enough, although she would never say exactly how old; her peach coat had faded a few shades lighter, her long and lightly coiffed mane had turned grey, and her face was creased with worry lines and a few wrinkles, but her rose red eyes were every bit as vibrant as they’d been in her youth, as were the rosebush marks adorning her haunches.
“Oh? Have you now?” replied Cypress Bough the earth pony.
He was also old enough — a bit older than Rosewill, in fact — but didn’t put much value in his age beyond a number; his coat was already a light grey and had no shades really to fade from, although his short cropped mane had become a grey a few shades darker than his coat, and while his sea foam green eyes had lost a bit of vibrancy and were guarded by a pair of spectacles, the evergreen branches adorning his haunches had lost none of their luster.
As they did every night after they’d finished supper and taken care of the dishes, they each sat in their rocking chairs on the front porch of their modest house on a hill overlooking Horseshoe Bay. It was summer, and the air smelled faintly of salt from the bay and citrus from the overfull orange tree a stone’s throw from the porch. Through it all, fireflies danced gaily under the starlight, framed against the lights from the village down along the shore.
“Not sure I believe that,” Cypress continued. “Ain’t like you to keep secrets, even when doing so might work out better for you.”
“Oh, I’ve kept this one for years. Since before we even had grandfoals,” Rosewill insisted.
“That so?” Cypress smirked and then turned his attention out over the bay again, resuming his rocking. “Lay it on me then.”
“Oh? What makes you so certain I’m going to tell?” Rosewill asked innocently, even as she wore a smirk to match her husband’s.
“You opened with, ‘I been keeping a secret.’ Ain’t the sorta thing a pony says ‘less they’s planning to tell.”
“Astute as always,” Rosewill replied, never dropping her smirk or taking her eyes off Cypress. “I know that you’re a changeling.”
Cypress stopped rocking, frozen and looking straight ahead.
“Since that day you had that allergic reaction and lost your disguise. You remember. When you received that experimental alder hybrid.”
“That’s twenty two years since,” Cypress said. Finally, he turned to look Rosewill in the eye. Although his expression remained neutral, she maintained her smirk. It was playful, the way it was when she had something to tease him with, and in no way malicious, so Cypress pressed on. “Why?”
“At first, to see if my husband would turn back up.” Rosewill turned her gaze away from Cypress and to the bay, starting her chair rocking. “It didn’t seem sensible to tell the sheriff or the Guard that something was in our home. They’d just scare it off and then I’d never see my Cypress again. But as they do, days turned into weeks, and I saw that my husband didn’t need to turn back up because he’d never left. And here we are.”
It was concise as an explanation, but still Cypress found it lacking. “I felt that reaction coming on, got in some place private ’til I could deal with it fast as possible,” he said. “So how’d you find out?”
“Oh, I had a hunch that I needed to look in through the cellar window because something important was going to happen.”
Cypress snorted lightly, but couldn’t help smirking again, just a little bit as he looked out over the porch again. “You and your hunches,” he said.
“They’re never wrong.”
“I know.”
Silence fell over the conversation again, and after several seconds, Cypress looked to Rosewill again. “So, why now?” he asked.
“A hunch that we both needed a little more honesty in our lives before we ended up regretting it forever,” Rosewill replied. “And now, you know my secret, and I hope you won’t feel like you have to hide from me anymore.”
“I suppose that’s what I have been doing,” Cypress said, looking out over the porch. Suddenly, he yawned, raising a hoof to his mouth. “Goodness.”
“Hm?” Rosewill turned to him, and then glanced back over her shoulder into the house, where the clock on the wall was. “Ten o’clock already?”
“‘fraid so.” Cypress stood up from his chair and stretched. “You coming to bed, lovely?”
“I think I will.” Rosewill likewise stood up and followed her husband inside. Despite the relegation of the evening, routine dominated their time. Cypress closed up the house while Rosewill put her mane up, and then both brushed their teeth before putting out the lamps and crawling into bed. The routine broke when Rosewill moved into and snuggle against Cypress with a little noise of contentment.
“You know,” Cypress said after a moment, “Think I might sleep in tomorrow. Just a little bit.”
“Mm, that sounds like a wonderful idea,” Rosewill replied.
Moments later, both of them were fast asleep.
The next morning, Cypress slept in just as he’d said he would. Not long, naturally, when there were only so many hours in the day, but he slept in nonetheless, nestled against Rosewill. Finally, he did wake up, feeling lighter than he had in years, and watched his wife sleep for a few moments before giving her a nudge. “No sense in staying in bed all day, lovely, not when there’s so much left for us to do out there,” he said.
Rosewill continued to lay still, eyes closed and a serene smile gracing her lips.
Cypress frowned after a moment. “Rosewill?” he asked, nudging her again.
Rosewill continued to smile, peaceful and unmoving.
For several moments, Cypress watched her, and then finally said, “Oh.”
Before we ended up regretting it forever….
Tears stung and spilled from the changeling’s eyes. “Oh.”
Her hunches were never wrong.
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So sad.
How bittersweet. Nice story.
Oh nooooooo...
This was really nice ;; I love the character interactions and the dialogue, but that ending ;; my heart
Yeah, that ending. Wow.
Short but worked very well in what it was intended to do.
that was sad
7238827 7238864 7239188
Let it not be said that I can't right stuff that'll hit you right in the guts.
7238887
Figures you would like it. This is exactly the kind of story you live for!
I mean except for the sad ending with no happily ever after all, and no Rarity, and no RariTwi... ok, I guess it's not really at all what you live for.
7238917
See? It may still be the case that one of us is a writer and the other is a hack, but this time the hack is... well, it's still me.
The more change, eh walker?
Break my damn heart, why don't you?
7239223 lmao i live for sadfics
This is the most random thing to pick up on, but do you happen to be Canadian? I ask because I grew up in BC and Horseshoe Bay was the ferry terminal we used most often when I was young. Still my favorite, since it's a lot prettier than Tsawwassen.
That huge tangent aside, I did... like this. Can't say I enjoyed it, because poor Cypress.
I enjoyed this little fic! It said just enough. Very slice of life-y feel.
Short, sweet and then that ending. I knew what I was getting into with the sad tag though. Bravo!
7239228
If I can make famous people cry... well, I suppose I can get them to cry. But all the same, I'm glad you liked it. Kind of a confidence booster when someone noted for being a much better writer than me likes my stuff.
7239245
Yet you never seem to write any.
7239617
Nope, sorry. For some reason, I just like using Horseshoe Bay when I can fit it in. I'm glad you liked it, even if you couldn't enjoy it. I'm not normally so cruel, honest!
7239745
That was what I was going for. This was a bit experimental, since nearly all my other stories feature longer chapters (Sensational Serials being the notable exception). It seems to have been a success.
7239919
Thank you!
Good gravy, this isn't even that many to reply to, how does Crystal Wishes do this every day?
Oh.. Oh my... So beautiful, but so very sad...
Omigawsh, this fic. This fic. I normally don't comment that often, but I saw that this one was relatively new, so I figured I might as well add my support. I'm a sucker for anything changeling related, but shoot, I don't even know where to start in reviewing this. It was short, but it hit hard and the length fit the story, if that makes sense. Everything about it was perfect, from the peaceful setting to both of their attitudes about/reactions to the secret. And the ending. I nearly had a heart attack, but maybe that's because I'm tired. I tend to get more emotionally invested in fanfics when I'm tired, so there's that.
Also, don't mean to be rude, but I did notice some typos that you may or may not want to fix. To be honest, I missed most of them my first readthrough; my brain just automatically fixed them for me, which shows how piddly they are, but whatevs. /shrug
they each sat
over her shoulder
Umm, I think it might be "when Rosewill moved in and snuggled against Cypress"? Not sure what else it could be.
when there were
So yes! Epic kudos to you!! I loved every word of this thing! *clicks user page* Oh great. You have 15 more stories? Nyuuugh, now I have to go read them all. Look what you made me do! You should be ashamed of yourself.
7245154
ffffffffff
Monochromatic, nightwalker, Masterweaver, Jade Ring, JKinsley, and foals errand too? I'm honestly a little blown away here. I mean, I sort of expected Monochromatic (this kind of story is her thing) and nightwalker (he tends to read my serious work). Masterwaver was a bit of a surprise, but I guess he digs sad things, sure, why not? But all the other big names (plus one I can't remember, and at least one more that's liable to find this)? I don't really know how to react. I'm glad I was able to produce something that all of you like so much, even if I'm not really sure how I did it.
7245211
Typos? What typos? I see no typos, and that certainly isn't because I just now went through and corrected them, nope nope nuh uh.
Truthfully though, not giving anything I do an editing pass is almost a stylistic choice for me at this point. I suspect this is partly because I know it grates on nightwalker's nerves. I'd say I'm the Buck Withers to his Shining Armor, but I don't think I'm that antagonistic. Probably.
If you're going to try reading all 15 of the others, you should really read the completed ones first, since they tend to all be significantly shorter (and maybe give Rockets & Rainbooms a pass altogether; it's serious the worst thing I have up here).
7245243
OK, it's still weird that people think I'm a big name author. I mean, yes, I've been doing this for longer than just about anyone else still active, but that's honestly about it. But I suppose you can thank Monochromatic for my being here, since she added this to the shipping group. When she adds a non-Raritwi story to that group, it gets my attention.
As far as cruelty towards your characters go, I've been pretty mean. On at least two occasions, I've killed all of Twilight's friends and family. Minus the long-lived ones.
7245572
You're a "big name" author because you have several hundred followers and at least 3 stories with more than 5,000 views each.
And that's how it got in the shipping group.
Eh, seems legit.
7245243
It didn't hit that hard for me, but that was a really surprising and original oneshot with a twist. I like how there was little angst and very simple drama, and hence the story was carried forward and the characters were very easily sympathizable.
Oh and speaking from personal experience, you learn that once you do become famous (which is totally possible considering the originality of your ideas as shown by this one shot) famous authors are just ordinary people who happen to be either better writers sure, but are generally just ordinary people who are moved by good ideas and stories.
Also, Hi Foals! 7245154
7245243
I just like writing pony fics!
Every time I get a response like this it makes me look around for a famous person.
7248182
Hi Vren!
If I were a more emotional man, I'd think this story would've made me cry.
Oh... that was... oh.
How bittersweet.
That moment when you suspect that your husband or wife is a Changeling?
.....Ow.
Nah, man. Nah, it's ok. ....It's just my heart, not like I was using it anyway D: Just .... ow.
That broke my heart. It was terribly sad.
That was an incredibly short story. But it still made me tear up. By that I mean I cried. But only a little...maybe alot...
7414330
I may have forgotten to mention that this story comes with a free side of fresh chopped onion.
7414730
Right in my feels man
Short but bittersweet.
Oh you bastard.
I'm sorry, sir, this is illegal, you are coming with me to jail now. ;_;
10203808
You'll never take me alive!
Although, I have to admit, I'm not particularly fond of the alternative, either. I need to think about this....
And here I was thinking the husband was going to be the one to, well, you know... pass on :(
Excellent little story. The definition of quality over quantity. I was brought here thanks to PresentPerfect. Cheers, friend.
Welp.
Hoi hoi! Just wanted to let you know that I did a reading of your fic on youtube (timestamped video) I apologize for not asking permission beforehand, and if you would like me to take it down, pls let me know! Still love it even after all these years, still a bittersweet gut punch
Thanks again for the wonderful memories!
https://youtu.be/td39Bb4nyrs?t=10830
11163906
Huh? Years?
Oh my, it has been years! Glad to hear you still enjoy it