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Featured 5/22/2016!
Rara, formally known as Countess Coloratura, has shed the mask she wore thanks to her selfish manager. She's got a new manager and new life...but when a pair of classical musicians ask her to speak to their daughter they believe may have gone through the same situation that she was, she might find out there are things she wasn't expecting.
Commissioned by Alexwarlorn!
My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro!
Cover Pic thanks to imDRUNKonTEA: !
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Wow! I enjoyed this story a lot! Keep up the good work
Not half bad... Actually, what am I saying? This story was amazing!
And now i want to see faces of Vinyl's parents
Oh boy, a Rara Fic
dot get a my of theses
Can't wait to get this on my lunch break, I'll add it to the Rara group with my own Fic later tonight if you don't
Good story, but… I have issues with it. First, you didn't focus, at all, at the hypocracy of Vinyl's argument. She's basically saying that she wanted to do what she's passionate about, which is what Rara did (and, in this argument, Vinyl should have given her parents a send-off). Second, you don't delve far enough into the parent-daughter relationship between Vinyl and her parents. I mean, how do we know they're assholes? They could just want their daughter to like classic so they have something to bond over, or because they seek their daughters aproval for their music. Her opinion could just mean a lot to them. Third, this was a little rushed. I felt that, in order to truly feel it, there had to be more development. There are some other points that I feel could have been done better, but these are what I feel are the nose important. It's a good story, don't get me wrong, but it could have been done better.
~ Chapter: 13
7237298 I apologize that didn't come out the way I wanted.
I genuinely DID want it to come off as 'both sides have a point' here.
Vinyl had a point Rara basically just dropped all her fans high and dry out of nowhere, so they do kinda have a RIGHT to be upset with her, but it was also meant to be clear if Vinyl had just been POLITE about bringing it up, Rara would've listened just fine, nor was Rara WRONG to want to change genres to one she's more comfortable with, which Vinyl did admit she didn't expect and that's one of the reasons her mood changed around so quickly: Rara was much more understanding than she expected.
As for why Rara didn't call her out on it, I just didn't feel like Rara was the type of character to do that. Rara is compassionate and kind, I didn't see her going on a tirade because of that.
Octavia MIGHT be one to call her out on it, but Vinyl's reaction to Rara being understanding was kind of meant to be 'show, not tell' that Vinyl had realized that on her own.
As for Vinyl's parents, Octavia kinda hit the nail on the head: Vinyl is being a bit of a child here and refusing to actually TALK to her parents, instead just ignoring them. I kinda wanted to leave that open, as that feels like a story onto itself when this was a one shot commission.
Still, I'm glad that despite the issues, it was still an enjoyable story.
I liked the story alot. It had a nice feel-good ending.
7237386 As a fellow writer, I know the struggle of trying to get a story the way you want. Regardless of any faults I can bring up, it was an enjoyable story — the good far surpassed the bad.
If I had to suggest a fix: maybe try having Vinyl's parents go into more detail about what they're asking, and tell her that they're worried about her not talking to them. Also, maybe have the conversation between Rara and Vinyl be a bit more... emotional. It was a little blank, to be honest.
Again, this is by no means a bad story, as apparent by the ratings; it well deserves the praise. I'm gonna say it: well done. But y'can't blame me for voicing how I believe it could improve?
~ Chapter: 13
7237649 Those are good suggestions, the only issue is that I'm afraid going any more about Vinyl's situation with her parents WHILE with them, might spoil some of the twists, or remove some of the intentional ambiguity, Kinda a balancing act.
But I totally respect that, thanks for being honest.
Not half bad.
I really enjoyed this story, very well written, short and sweet, with a great lesson for all to take in their respective lives, that no matter what, the people in our life, from those we know to those we don't, are important, and we must take care to not sever the bonds with them.
Godzillawolf, lest you have an objection to it, I'd like to make a review of this.
7238199 Thanks! And that's a good interpretation of it! I'm glad you like it.
And go right ahead! I'd love a review!
That was a certainly a lovely short-story you did involving these three well-known pony musicians.
Manger... Typo or pun?
7238393
Which is kinda a shame. In particular when it clearly is related to the story in question.
7237973
Son, I am disappoint.
7238396
It is really not a shame. If there's no social pressure applied to doing it, it turns into a fucking free-for-all. Just, self-made ads flying around completely irreverent of the work and effort put in by the person whose story they're trying to hijack. I've seen it before. It's not pretty, but it IS petty.
Weren't her glasses supposed to be purple?
Overall, It is a very good story. Keep up the good work!
7238396 You would say that.
7239226
Why would I say that? I'm still waiting for the option to turn OFF the recommended on deviatantart.
7239260 I say this because you're probably the most active self-promoter in the universe.
"Oh, hey, this person commented on a story that has a common subject with a story I wrote? I'll comment on that story, AND reply to that person, AND shill myself on their profile page, then act like it's an insult when they decline to read my totes awesome 200-word drabble!"
That's you, Warlorn.
7239290
You make it sound like I'm some sort of con artist mental case. I'm FINE when someone suggests a story that shares a similar theme to something I wrote or I commissioned. I'm HAPPY as long as it ACTUALLY shares a close actually theme in the story. And I can't remember the last time I wrote a 200 word drabble.
7239290
If you mean the chats I have with Jordan, he's never shown any sign of minding.
7239290
Wait a second! I REMEMBER YOU NOW!!!
You were one of the persons who loved Jordan's Captain Smarty Pants idea as part of the Nightmare Moon timeline! So when I wrote the start of the group story set in that timeline, I showed the beginning to you! But YOU THOUGHT that was the whole story instead of the SEED! What you read WAS the seed! The story went on for quite some time after what you read. So no, it wasn't a drabble. You showed interest in wanting to see Jordan's idea made into a story with a beginning middle and ending, and I wrote the seed for such, and now it's been completed. And you browbeated me and made me feel like a wreck for wanting to share something with you IN PARTICULAR because you wanted to see that ideas as a whole story IN PARTICULAR!
7239290
You thought what I showed you was a DRABBLE?! 0-0 Geeze! Talk about your misinterpretations!
7239290
And it's was GROUP STORY. On a subject YOU expressed explicitly interest in the very particular subject matter.
You're STILL hung up on that?
7237649
The point of the story wasn't Vinyl's parents, they were meant more to be the set up. The CORE of the point of the story was Vinyl feeling alienated by her idol declaring her works Vinyl loved to be an old shame while her stuff she said was the true her were things Vinyl DIDN'T enjoy.
7239330 Hung up? No.
Maliciously mocking you by blowing a past action out of proportion just to see how far I can push you? Hell yeah.
I don't even remember your drabble, aside from the fact that I found your shilling of it to be pushy and annoying. I vaguely remember that what I read seemed amateurish, poorly structured and just generally not worth shoving it in my face on both his blog and my own page. I definitely remember not finishing whatever there was, or otherwise being confused by the nature of the anthology it had been roughly inserted into and so missing out on any actual plot.
I was interested in the idea, yes. I was also interested in the idea being competently written, and by someone who I hadn't already formed a negative impression of from seeing them say various stupid things all over this site.
Give me a second, I need some popcorn.
7239368
So you're just a bully.
7239372 Natch.
You need to be careful with the overuse of ellipses.
Using them now and again is fine, but they're not an alternate full stop. If you use too many... it reads like every sentence is trailing off... into nothing... or maybe everyone started speaking like... William Shatner...
7239447
You speak....as though.....that's......bad!
Huh. Musicians of Ponyville meet the Countess. I don't know why the idea of a mute Vinyl interests me so much, but I definitely like this take on telepathy. It's a bit more raw.
Nice work!
7239341 Doesn't matter. Flaud setup can make the rest of the story feel hollow. 'Though this may seem like a moot subject to focus on, it does play an important roll in the story. I am not attacking you or the story. I am giving my opinion, which is what the comment section is for: discourse, discussion, and, hopefully, betterment.
~ Chapter: 13
7239380 Well this is the comments section on MY story. Thank you for saying it's good, but If you're trolling and trying to get Alex riled up for the fun of it, I politely ask you to stop.
I DON'T like arguments or bullying happening in the comments of my story.
7239861 Oh, I never said it was good.
7239903 'Not bad' then.
7239910 Semantics, really. It's three-quarters bad. Clunky prose, stilted and unnatural dialogue that's ham-fisted in every point it tries to get across, paragraphs so dense you'd think they were a sponge coated in cement, but if one ignores every technical aspect of the story and instead looks at the plot in its most bare-bones sense, there's a decent idea.
I'm going to stop now. Have fun with your sheep farm.
It's great that we have fics of Rara, but WHY can't we get a character section for her? Octavia and Vinyl get them and don't have NEARLY as much dialogue as Rara had in just the one episode she appeared in.
7239928 ok since u seemed to go grammer on the auother do u edit? i need a editor is all
loved this and a mute vinly intersting for pranks hehe
Fantastic work and an interesting interpretation of vinyl, it's honestly a shame some people (hint, hint hint, hinty hint hint hint. Cough, KingMoriarty, cough) have yet to learn how to at least be polite.
7240683 depending on the story I could help?
Enjoyed it
I reviewed this story as part of Read It Now #79!
My review can be found here.
7241213 Thanks!
I'm sorry for the issues with this, though I actually do have an explanation for why that happened: the commissioner specifically asked me to have it be Vinyl's parents. So yeah, a bit common of a plot, but it was what was requested. I DID try to add some new to it with Vinyl being mute and thus her parents were able to make their OWN assumptions of what she liked and didn't, which was meant to be implied from Vinyl's statements about them and Octavia pointing out Vinyl doesn't TALK to them despite the fact she now CAN with her telepathy. And being that was the inciting incident, I kinda had to build from that to Vinyl and Rara's conflict.
Not complaining about what I was given to work with, just saying that was the set up I was commissioned to use.
But I'm sorry the story just turned out 'decent'...but also kinda happy it ended up being DECENT rather than horrid, given, admittedly, I had several weeks of writer's block with this story.
And thank you for being polite with your problems with the story, unlike SOME people.
7241322
Well, that explains some things about the story. Ah, well. Better luck with the next one!
Grats on getting featured, though.
7241778
I shouldn't have made it be exclusively be Vinyl's parents. Since the point of the fic WAS Vinyl feeling alienated at her idol treating the works Vinyl loved as 'old shames.'