Spike's First Time

Reddling Rain #1 · Apr 14th, 2016 · · ·

Great job keeping Spike in character, I could totally hear his voice when I read his lines!

I think this could have used some more description, mostly near the end where it's dialogue of just the two of them back and forth. It's good to leave the reader's imagination open to wander, but it still needs a leash.

Just one format thing, indent paragraphs (Press TAB at the start of each new paragraph). It's proper writing form.

My ultimate rating with this though; it doesn't feel like prose. This is more like reading the subtitles that belong on a sex tape than descriptive wording. If things were fleshed out more I'd certainly give it a like, but as it is i give neither an uphoof or downhoof. It's just okay.

PiMan

PiMan #2 · Apr 15th, 2016 · · ·

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7126068
Indenting is often considered unnecessary when paragraphs are double spaced.

OmniFox

OmniFox #3 · Apr 15th, 2016 · · ·

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Breaking Mares!

Reddling Rain

Reddling Rain #4 · Apr 15th, 2016 · 2 · 3 ·

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7127342

There is no such thing as considering in the English language (dislike it as I may)

Even with double spacing, both MLA/APA would have you indent, and in casual writing it may be okay, but not in any for of writing that you would publish. You may hold your opinion, but the rules disagree.

PiMan

PiMan #5 · Apr 15th, 2016 · 1 · 1 ·

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7127506
That's not the reality of it, regardless of whether style guides prefer it (which I have not sought to confirm). If you look at almost any newspaper website, they will double space paragraphs and won't indent (other than sometimes the first paragraph. If you look at books professionally published online, it is the same; double spaced paragraphs, no indent.

The English language is not centrally defined or prescriptivist like some languages are (eg French). If the clear majority of people see something as correct, it is correct, regardless of whether a dictionary or style guide disagrees.

Reddling Rain

Reddling Rain #6 · Apr 15th, 2016 · 1 · ·

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7127572

Okay, I can see you won't see it my way. I'm not going to agree with you though. A language has rules however. This isn't a newspaper article and shouldn't read like one-- It's prose, and it should read like prose (which, it does not).

PiMan

PiMan #7 · Apr 15th, 2016 · · ·

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7127864
That's why I didn't just mention newspapers. I also mentioned books professionally published online.

Anmynous

Anmynous #8 · Apr 16th, 2016 · · ·

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7127506
Indentation makes it easier to read when the text is packed together, like it is in printed text, but online formats don't need to worry about running out of space and can spread paragraphs out more; using both double spacing and indentation is redundant.

PonyDragon