- Member Since 3rd Oct, 2013
- offline last seen 7 hours ago
SonicBlitz18
A rocking brony with a love for crossover and adventure. Currently part time in college
SonicBlitz18
Joined 3rd Oct, 2013 ·
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Mm.... I Like So Much This Idea For History
And when he is done they all become his slaves lol
I like the idea behind this story, but you seriously need an editor.
And these are just the first few I saw.
Interesting idea, but I would agree you need a good proofreader.
If you slow it down a little, like take a bit longer to describe in full how this is affecting him, it would be an excellent read. Also, you could've had a chapter to show how the vilanesses got together.
I loved it so far can't wait to see what's next .I hope all make a herd and he becomes there master and Molestia joins to..And he keep good dusk and he makes his own herd.
I literally had to stop reading this for my own physical and mental health. Like I began to cringe and seize every time you made another grammar mistake, or a plot hole reared its ugly head. It wasn't pleasant.
The story seems generally rushed, and what isn't rushed makes not a lot of sense.
Terrible grammar aside why did no one try and stop him. Seriously twenty seconds is actually quite a bit of time, and odly specific. Like did someone time it, did they have a stop watch handy, if so why do that when you could try and stop the potential threat.
It's an interesting idea I guess. Just you need to get an editor or something, put a little more thought and effort into it. Otherwise good work you posted it which is a lot more than some people can say, and I can guarantee you I wrote worse back in high school.
Hey^10
THIS Story is very good.
I like it. I kinda feel pity for Sonata.
She's CUTE.
Did you pushed the publish button for error?
Because I recived a message where you published a new chapter.
awesome another chapter man nice
The collars probably mean that she is his sex slave and will let him do to her whatever he wants; wherever he wants; whenever he wants. I am curious as to how he is going to do one siren while keeping the other one from leaving/interfering?
Would have been better if he left before the other sirens arrived. That way, they'd see the aftermath and the FEAR of what they'd unleashed will run rampant as he hunts them one by one.
*slow claps* ya did good sonic, ya did good.
That was awesome I can't wait to see whats next.
Lol, that frying pan moment made me imagine this:
66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll1nunmq0U1qb6kd0o1_500.gif
Heheh! The same could be said about both you and Nightmare Moon and your armor lingerie. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Also, I hope you continue this story. I'd really love to read how he ravages Nightmare Moon.
Je connais la langue, Sonicblitz18. But I'll let you say what it means in the story. Also, when are you going to make the next chapter. I can't wait to see it in the future.
7605627
7327793
7271856
YES my faith and loyalty have been rewarded with 3 whole chapters
LUNA'S SWEET PLOT I DIDN'T KNOW MORE CHAPTERS WERE ADDED!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
AWESOME MAN AND YES NEW CHAPTER
oh boy
Great chapter. I like seeing new chapters in THIS Story.
THIS Story is AWESOME!!!
Great chapter, But I notice some mistakes.
Why do I have the feeling he is going to do something to Philomena.
And I also notices a little mistake.
the dusk is hungry heehee
I love this story very much and wanted to reread the first chapter again as you have edited it. You have 2 problems from what I read. First being that this,
is repeated again. 2nd, is that you have a ( in front of a word and it's at the part of villians splitting up to go and find Dusk. That's all I have to say and hope to see this story continued
THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!
I love it all I can't wait to see what happens next.
I loved this chapter.
That was great chapter I can't wait Intel the next one.
That was awesome read.Happy New year to you to.
Wouldn't it be 'henhood' instead of 'birdhood', you know since a female bird is usually referred to as a hen, not just chickens.
Happy Newar year too!!!
P.s. i just can't resist
Philomena:My minds telling me no. But my body, my body's telling me yes!!!
YES NEW CHAPTER AND HAPPY NEW YEAR
I need more
Can't wait for Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis' s chapters. There's just something so utterly delicious of having Dusk bang the baddest bitches in FIM.
Otro capitulo porfavor
Umbra?
hold, not hd.
As for why I am here... well it's always the quiet ones, right?
Chrysalis
Crysalis
Maybe Umbra....yeah.definately Umbra
umbra
Umbra
umbra for me man
Umbra
Prob umbra then chrissy then NMM
Umbra
Your sister.
You.
You know, this isn't a bad clopfic, really it's not. BUT, the constant spelling and grammar mistakes REALLY take away from the experience. They're painfully all over the place. I hate to sound rude but, did you even look this over to make sure you were satisfied with this once you'd finished posting it?
Update servitude