...Problems
"Gummy?"
A soft, high-pitched voice echoed in the darkness. It was sometime after midnight, or so Pinkie Pie assumed. She sat up in bed, unable to sleep.
The tranquility of the nighttime always made the ponies marvel at the quietness of Luna's domain. However, most ponies fell asleep not too long after the night began. One of these ponies that did not was Pinkie Pie. At least for tonight.
"Gummy, are you awake?" Pinkie called out again.
In response came a low rumbling sound.
"Alright, I'll make it quick." Pinkie's dry voice said. Unlike her normal voice, she sounded sad. Let down. Unenthusiastic. It did not seem right for her to be so monotone and quiet.
Sighing, the pink mare continued talking. "I help everypony feel good, Gummy. When I do, I feel good too... But...Sometimes I feel so... empty..." Pinkie paused, thinking.
Moments later she continued speaking. "I have the best of bestest friends in the whole wide world, Gummy... I have everything I've ever wanted, and everything I need... A good life, good family... not too much money, but not not enough bits to get by..." Pinkie cracked a smile, "I have a home, a great gator, and a great job. So why do I feel so... sad?" Pinkie's smile faded.
"I have never been hurt... ever... I don't know what fear really is, or what I should really be upset about..." Pinkie pulled her blankets on her bed closer to her as she spoke, "So if I have everything that makes me happy, why am I so sad? I have no reason to be sad..."
Gummy gurgled.
"I mean... I have not only what I want, but what I need... I have no reason to feel so... empty... when I have everything!" Pinkie's large eyes filled with tears.
"My tummy hurts, and I am so confused! I have no reason at all to feel sad! I never ever have and never will be, it seems like! The ponies that really, truly are hurt are the ones that have no friends and family... the ones with no food, the ones with no home... but here I am, living in middle-class paradise... in Ponyville, Equestria... the new royal city and attraction thanks to my friend Twilight becoming an alicorn... and yet I'm sobbing in tears over nothing at all!" By now, salty tears were running down Pinkie Pie's cheeks.
Sniffling, she said, "I want to know why I feel so sad! I have no problems! In fact, all I have are... are first world problems! Oh, the Hayburger ran out of fries? Aww, I guess I get no fries then! Or, how about... How about my friend's sleepover being canceled? And I have to wait a few days? Huh? Is that going to kill me?!"
Pinkie's mane and tail were noticeably deflated at this point. Her voice became angrier as more tears streamed down her face. "None of my problems will kill me! The things I am afraid of are pointless! A-and why should I be sad anyways?!"
"THIS ISN'T RIGHT!" Pinkie screamed.
Minutes passed by in silence. Surprisingly, she had not woken anypony up.
"Gummy?" Pinkie whispered. She was holding herself in her front hooves. "My... head... hurts... I feel lightheaded..." Still crying, she lay down. "I don't know... I don't know why... Why am I so... So sad? I don't wanna feel empty! I don't wanna feel alone! I don't, I don't I don't!" Openly crying, Pinkie sobbed.
Her heart pounded in her chest. "I don't know why I am so sad... I have no reason to be sad! I wanna be happy! Why can't Pinkie help me like she runs around helping everypony else in Ponyville?!"
Opening her eyes as wide as they could go, Pinkie's high pitched voice crackled as she coughed out, "Nooooo, I'm already here!"
"Then help me!" Pinkie whimpered. Giggling, she replied to herself, "I already am, Pinkie! B-b-but... Why are you laughing at me? I'm Pinkie Pie! I laugh all the time! But not at yourself... Myself... Me... I... Pinkie! But why not? Isn't it important to giggle at the ghosties, the things you're scared of? The fears? The worries?! The pain?! I don't want pain... I don't want anymore pain! I don't like lying to my friends everyday about my depression! I don't wanna be sad anymore!" Pinkie broke down into tears.
"Everypony thinks that I'm the happiest mare in all of Equestria... When really, I'm as sad as the night is dark. But I can't let them know... They'll know I lied to them... To keep them happy..." Sniffling, she pulled the covers over her face.
Pinkie pushed the covers down moments later. "I'm sorry, Gummy... I'm being so... terrible..." she sniffled again, "I-I just...feel confused..." The pink mare sighed. "Now I have a headache..." Pinkie's eyes widened. "Maybe... Maybe I don't belong here, Gummy... Maybe I should just get everything over with! Go away, so that nopony will ever have to deal with anything! I can't keep acting, Gummy, I can't hide this from my friends forever... I can't keep my sadness from them! But no... I'm Pinkie! Pinkie Diane Pie! The happy, joyful, funny, bubbly pony! There's no reason for her to be sad at all!" Her heart pounded heavier.
"Nopony knows who I really am... No one knows how much I cry..." Pinkie said quieter, "Nopony will ever understand... But how could they... When I don't? I don't understand myself!" The sobbing earth pony put her hooves up to her eyes and covered them. "Gummy... Why are you my friend...?"
Gummy waddled up beside Pinkie. Lifting her eyelids, she forced a smile. "Aww... Thanks." Cuddling up next to her reptile friend, she wiped her tears away on a blanket.
"Why am I still crying?" She asked aloud. "Do... you think I have problems, Gummy? I don't want Twilight to give me medicine... or put me in an asylum! Or... or even..."
Gummy nuzzled her.
"That's a relief. Thanks, Gummy." Pinkie smiled softly. A real smile. "I don't get it... why do I, the most joyful pony in all of Equestria, not feel happy all the time? D-do you think that's normal?"
Gummy snuggled up to the mare.
"Because... I want that to be normal. I don't want to be not very normal, you know, Gummy? I wanna be happy... I want to be able to know why I'm sad, too..."
Pinkie paused.
"Maybe... Maybe I am just sad because I think that I can only be happy? Because... All I have in my pampered life are first world problems... Nothing that is really bad... Maybe... Maybe that's why? Because I have no legitimate reason to be...sad?"
Gummy began to snore.
"Alright, Gum-Gum. Goodnight. And thank you for being here with me. It means a lot." Pinkie whispered.
She thought about what just happened. Her psychotic behavior while venting her emotions. Was it really as bad as it seemed?
Then the world went black, and within what seemed like seconds, she awoke again: this time to the blinding light of morning. Another day to make other ponies smile.
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Like I said, really good story, Mocha!
7072444 Thanks
7072326 Glad you enjoyed, then.
This is too relatable for comfort... But great writing, anyway
7078532 Thanks ^^
I like this, you can't be happy all the time.
Why do many of us like to torture Pinkie with deep themes like this?
Very emotional story. Liked & faved.
7081357 Glad you liked it! ^^
7093040 You're not a bad friend!
I have a question. would it be alright if I did a reading of this on my channel? I'm new to voice acting and i'm trying to get myself out there and well I really like this story it's really relatable to me. I promise I'll credit you and if you don't want me to that's fine I won't do it unless I have you're permission though cuz I don't want to do this unless I know for sure it's okay ^w^"
7098979 Oh my gosh, yes, I am honored!
Thank you very much!
7098984 You're quite welcome and thank you for letting me do it ^w^ i always like to ask first just in case but anyways it's gonna take some time to put together but i'll send you a link if you want when it's done
7098995 Alright! Thank you! And it's not a problem. :)
I liked it. With the sad tag I thought I was going to cry my eyes out like when reading Dearest Fluttershy or Forever Young but I didn't. Still good story and I are why you used the tags
7216228 Thanks ^^
I put the sad tag so she wouldn't be seen as OOC. It's not tragic...just Pinkie being sad and dramatic.
7216236 makes sense. As much as we all love Pinkie for being happy and making everypony smile, smile smile no one can be happy 24/7.
7216244 Couldn't have said it better myself. ^^
I've been in a situation like this. Upvote and favorite for you.
I understand where Pinkie is. She thinks it's not normal to be sad at times, especially with her disposition; but the world is a pretty heavy burden and life is a hard job with no breaks, so it's both normal and understandable to break down at times, even more so to doubt and question yourself. Sometimes, you have to just rely on yourself to pick yourself back up and keep going. Sometimes, that's all you need.
My major problem with this story is that it ends kind of abruptly. There's no real resolution to the problem; or maybe that's what you were intending, to show that it's another day, another battle? If I see it in this light, it becomes more understandable.
You get a fave and thumbs up. Good work for an unedited story.
You can has review!