Chapter 7: This sand is trying to kill me. **** you sand.
‘It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, datacorrupteddatacorrupteddatacorrupted... something something something neighborhood...’ BIT sang to himself as he scanned the horizon with his external cameras. ‘...oh who am I kidding, that song far too corrupted to actually si- what is that?’
One of the cameras was showing some anomaly. The horizon was seeming to get... closer.
Ordering external camera 3 to zoom in, BIT soon discovered that the horizon wasn’t moving, but something BIG was moving towards him. FAST.
Ramping up his processor speed to give him more time, BIT began sending orders out to all relevant units. All over the compound, monitors stopped what they were doing and began displaying what external camera 3 saw, startling Purple in the process.
“I <sorry>, we have problem.” BIT said while Purple was still in mid-jump.
“What <is(?)> that <of(?)>?”
“Outside”
BIT watched as first Purple’s eyes widened, approaching cartoon levels, before he continued.
“They come inside”
“<Attempted contradiction>...”
“They safe inside. Everyone. NOW”
BIT watched as Ponies began running in through the main door, a strange feeling coursing through his circuits, one that he had no name for.
‘Come on... Come on! The storm will be on us in seconds!’ BIT thought desperately as he watched the sand storm rushing towards the rather fragile looking tents outside.
‘I’m going to get so much sand in here...’ BIT thought in annoyance after running some quick calculations on the progress of the last pony.
Just before the last pony got in, BIT began closing the door, causing the pony to put on a burst of speed to get through. ‘Oh come on, you would have made it anyway...’
Just as the door was about to cover the hole, the storm hit, flinging sand into the entrance and causing the Sweepers’ automatic programming to freak out at the rapidly shifting “dirt”.
‘Door has finished closing, Sweepers have been been shut up, aaaand there goes some of the external cameras. Great. Well at least everyone’s inside, I should show them wh- oh. It seem as though Jones and Spearhead are taking it upon themselves to do that. Cool.’
As the ponies started filtering into the rest of the floor, BIT released the Sweepers to begin cleaning up the sand that had blown in.
‘Let’s see here... Cafeteria lights on... Garden lights on... Dormitory lights on... Dormitory doors unlocked... Dormitory doors set to automatic... Garden door set to automatic... Cafeteria door set to automatic, just in time as well... Oxygen generation has been brought up to compensate... Air Filtration... Crap. Okay, okay, calm down. I can do this. Um... begin fabrication of replacement air filters, set up maintenance schedule, okay. We’re good. Now what else... Water? Plenty. Food? Double Crap. Hydroponics are not ready for harvest yet.’
“Problem.” BIT said as he activated the screen closest to Purple.
“What?” Purple replied as they got over their shock (they were getting better at it!).
“Food.”
‘OKAY! SO THEY CAN EAT GRASS!’ BIT thought exasperatedly as he watched the Ponies gather the supplies they had brought in, along with what they could gather from the garden without resulting in permanent damage to it. He had also learned that the ones without wings or a horn were good at gardening, as one of them had taken one look at the Hydroponics bay and started re-organizing most of it. BIT had tried to stop them, but it quickly became apparent that they were somehow increasing the efficiency so he had let them do whatever there.
Focusing on a group that weren’t doing anything important, BIT noticed that they were playing some sort of card game that seemed to involve gambling, judging by the coins stacked in front of the participants. Golden coins... Gold. ‘They use gold as a currency? Hm...’
Observing the group play a few rounds, BIT was able to figure out that it played similar to a game called “Sheep’s Head” in his databanks, just with a different number of cards. He was also able to figure out that either one coin wasn’t worth a lot, or this was a high stakes game. Probably the former, judging by the fact that the players didn’t seem to upset when they lost a hand. ‘Would it be called a “hoof” for them?’ BIT mused.
‘...This isn’t working’ BIT thought was Purple was trying, and failing, to teach him some (to him) obscure word. ‘Time for plan B!’
Opening up the maintenance hatch directly above Purple, BIT had a maintenance drone drop down and shove a dictionary he had printed off towards her.
“Here, instead”
Purple froze upon opening it up and figuring out what it was. She then began vibrating.
‘This... may have been a mistake’
6 hours later, Skittles wheeled herself into the room, around the book piles that Purple had somehow magicked in, and went off on an amused rant about books and earth burrowing insects, along with something about big insects and masks, but mostly books. After seeing that Purple didn’t even seem to notice her, she wheeled herself over to Purple, bit her ear, and began wheeling herself away, forcing Purple to stumble along.
‘THANK YOU! I may be a machine, but you need to give me time to PROCESS the data you’ve given me before building off of it!’
Prompting a maintenance bot to begin going through the books and scanning their pages, BIT began learning how to read the same way one deals with written languages they don’t know. Use the few words they do know and expand from there.
“<UNINTELLIGIBLE!?!>” Purple shouted in surprise.
‘Please write last statement’ BIT displayed on the screen.
Frustratedly, Purple wrote something down and showed it to the camera. ‘You can read?!?’
‘Yes, it was quite simple to do so once I had unrestricted access to the written medium provided, along with key words already translated.’
‘Yes, but... so quickly?’ Purple wrote
‘I am a machine, simple data processing is extremely simple for me.’
“But... <unknown> <incomplete translation, best guess: “is not”> <unknown>... I... <UNKNOWN! (may not be a word but an emotional expression)>”
‘Please write last statement’ BIT displayed while grinning internally, knowing full well that what was said was one of those ‘stop and go’ failed statements that organics tend to say when stre- **
“I am <unknown> sorry!” Purple repeated for the 38th time since his systems restored themselves after an emotional outburst resulted in yet another magic induced system crash.
‘It’s fine’ BIT displayed on the screen for the 26th time in a row.
Turning his primary focus away from the looping pony, BIT finalized a note to himself not to stress the Purple pony unnecessarily. Much.
‘Now... about that gold currency...’
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8786934
Dragged kicking and screaming back to this story, my muse has been forced to finish a chapter.
Will there be others? It was funny. Thank you.
Poor Twilight this must be especially frustrating for her. Hopefully she can help the AI learn her language so they can communicate more effectively. Still great to see this story continuing! Hopefully the next chapter will come easier for you.
Ancient AI? More like, ancient story! Zing.
Thanks for the update mate.
8804365
The worst/best part is that now my muse suddenly wants nothing more than to continue this story! Another chapter has just been written between my posting the last one and now!
8804374
How have I not seen this before?
Love it.
don't you think he would be slightly resentful of the ponies for constantly attacking him? both intentionally and by mistake? I know he is a machine and thus lacks emotion but that should just mean he sees them as a continues threat. at best he should be limiting direct interaction with them and should enforce rules when dealing with them. he just seems so Careless for a machine
and yes I know he is doing all this to better slip into pony society but just as he cannot break a door that is damaged the same should be applied for risking your self. he's built to entomb and protect the remains of humanity right? so he SHOULD have a program making sure that above all else he can continue his duty, what he is doing is directly threatening his ability to do so. no matter how valuable it could be to get on the ponies good side, it shouldn't override his need to protect himself, this is something i'd expect from a human, not an AI
8804415
He's doing it because he wants out. And angering the dominant species is a bad idea. If death is what it takes to get out then so be it, there's the backup plan. But intentionally bringing about his end is not allowed by his chains
This is a very nice story. I kind of want to see what his views on emotions are since he is an AI that is exhibiting them.
Just found out this story - it certainly deserves the thumbs-up and fav for originality.
My only regret is the lack of chapters to dig in.
I really wish to read more from you!
Happy, happy, happy, so HAPPY!!! I was worried you wouldn't continue this story. I am so glad your muse is back! I haven't seen another story with this premise before, and I love how you write BIT. I am so very excited to see how this story will unfold. Thank you for sharing this with us!
8804374
Sounds like you need help! Msg me and hopefully we could figure something out my friendo
No crashing the pony economy with counterfeit bits, BIT.
Rather happy that the chapters are spawning in your head again, as distracting as it might be (The squeaking noises have to be, at very least. :P).
No, I did not catch the reference. :(
I tend not to know most of them.
Bad idea giving Twilight a dictionary. Heh.
Glad to have you back.
8804415
It also seems to me that is exactly what he is doing - protecting the remains of humanity. By trying to pass it on to the dominant sentient species. If his purpose was to just hold on to it and not share it (or not be able to take chances in doing so) then it really makes no sense to even bother storing away all that knowledge in the first place. He has no way of knowing if holding back at this point would mean meeting another sentient being ever. So right now doing everything possible, even if a bit risky, to get the data out to what may be the last possible sapient specie he'll ever encounter would be of prime importance.
8805202
I see your logic and I applaud you for it, thank you for that insight. I had not thought of it that way
So glad this isn't dead
love the back and forth between them, can't wait for more of this premise.
8806183
You and me both...
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to drag my Muse away from the Worm franchise... again
I remember this story.
Another good chapter this was.
Interesting. While BIT's actions seem a bit contradictory at times, it's a very human kind of contradictory. And I especially like that, while he has tons of processing power, he has a limited perspective/attention-span. It's a lot more relatable than the omnipotent-machine-mind you see in a lot of AI stories.
8809415
Yes
I think a Jones hat is more functional in the desert while a pith helmet is for the jungle. So why wouldn't Daring have both?
I highly appreciate how dutiful BIT is to being a good host.
Seeing as no-one else seems to have said it yet, I’m assuming The Martian.
8812473
Nope
I'll give you a hint. Replace "Sand" with "Trees" and "Nature"
8812905
Well then I am lost. O.o
8812942
"These trees are trying to kill me. F*** you Nature."
ProJared on Hydlide
8813629
Bit too retro for me I'm afraid XD
8813798
2012 is retro now?
8:43
8816687
Well the game :P
Lol!! I found this chapter just as good as the previous! No inconsistencies that I could see.
i want more MORE CHAPTERS!!!
WHAT NO!
DARN ANOTHER SEMI-HIATUS STORY!
DARN THEM AND THEIR OVER-THE-TOP GOODNESS AND EASE OF READABILITY AND FANTASTIC WAY TO IMMERSE ONESELF!
Darn, now I've got not excuse to not do my work...
Yo, when will ya write more?
Please don't tell me this is another of the many amazing but abandoned stories on this website
Dead story?