Fluttershy and Rarity spend an afternoon partaking in idle chit-chat, but conversation turns to confession when Rarity learns that Fluttershy doesn’t consider herself beautiful and never has. Rarity was the last pony Fluttershy thought would understand, but Rarity has a secret of her own, and Fluttershy comes to realize they aren't so different after all.
It’s not very romance-y until the end, but it needs the tag anyway. It wouldn't be a Rarishy ship without it!
Tremendous thanks to TheBeastEast for editing, offering constructive criticism, and being a great friend in general!
This awesome piece of artwork was done by neitivo.
Chapters (2)
Very beautifully written.
7040702 Thanks, I really appreciate it! It makes the two months I spent on this incredibly worthwhile
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Can't wait to see what else you come up with. I will follow your career with great interest.
nicely written but could of been broken up into chapters....
.
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I'm trying to write as much as I can while I'm on spring break, so hopefully I can crank out another story soon. I've got a bunch of ideas but I don't know which one I'm going with yet.
I certainly hope I don't disappoint!
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I thought about that, and I'm not sure why I went against it. I was going to start a new chapter where the page break is after Rarity leaves and would've put the part with Fluttershy in her cottage as the epilogue. Would that help break it up a little more?
7040864 after a good wall of text it's nice to take a break and jump to a next chapter.
3,000 words to 5,000 words after that my eyes get fuzzy:pinkiegasp;
img05.deviantart.net/fc3e/i/2015/248/d/c/fin_by_hillbe-d98jwoz.jpg
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I went ahead and made an epilogue. I can see you're point with all that text, but I'm not sure I'm going to break it up that much. I may add another chapter after they go upstairs but there isn't anywhere else where the story really shifts. It was intended to be a one shot after all
Ha! Oh Spike, I spend all day drawing pictures of Rarity too
I wish I could post pictures....I still can't figure it out 
This story is beautiful! I must admit, I did tear up a bit.
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Thank you so much! Just when I was starting to feel a little discouraged at already having two dislikes, you picked my spirits back up
Very beautiful story, nice job
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Thanks! I love your username by the way!
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Wow, thanks for making my day, quite possibly the rest of my life! I don't think anyone has ever told me they admire me before, and compliments like that bring happy tears to my eyes
With a username like that, I admire you too! I'm thrilled my little story could be of help, that's the whole reason why I wrote it, and while I think it's very far from a masterpiece, I can't tell you what it means to hear it referred to as such. 
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Thanks Beast, I couldn't have done it without you! You don't know how grateful I am for your support!
Few comments so far. Huh, that's strange.
First off, the first chapter could use a proof-reader/editor. There were some repetitions in there that tried to throw me off, but, thanks to your talent in writing, didn't succeed.
Second - after the first two third of the first chapter, I grew... concerned, to be honest. I was interested in this story because it featured Shy, Rares and Romance - without being tagged as dark, tragic or stuff like that. I read those first parts and... really, really, really thought that Shy could use help. Like, 'professional help'. It got better later on, partly thanks to Rares, but that might just as well be me wanting it to be better...
I agree that, probably, everyone got that little bastard of a voice whispering jerky stuff at completely unreasonable times and some might not be able to cope with that or to stand against said voice. I can perfectly see Fluttershy being in that situation - but if she is? If she really is? I'm not all that sure if she'll be able to overcome that just by an afternoon-talk. Then again... she struggled, still. It wasn't solved just like that. Something I really appreciate about this story.
The ending left me a little bit hanging, but I think that was intended.
It's a wonderful little tale, thank you.
PS.: I hope you got rid of those jerks.
PPS.: In my humble opinion, most stick to what they admire most or what they 'know' most/best. Rarity has her dramatics and is proud of being a strong, independent, sometimes a bit girly mare. I'd guess that's just something rather few members of the fandom really admire or 'know' in any way. This is not, by any means, about reducing her to being just that - but other members of the main six, or, for that matter, of the cast in general just seem to be more obvious as a choice, I suppose.
As for myself... Rarity is my, oh wonder oh wonder, least favourite of the main six. I appreciate her. I cherish her. I just... love the rest a tad more. The reason for that is simply that I don't seem to have much in common with her. Like, at all. (Believe me, I gave it some thought.) I can't really understand her, get into her mindset. That said, I still admire her for her tons of qualities.
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Oh I don't usually get many comments, it's not too out of the ordinary. However, the ones I do get I'm grateful for
I'm sorry this post is so long, I want to address everything you mentioned. I've always wondered: what's the difference between a proofreader and an editor? I have an editor and she does a great job, but I don't have a proofreader. Could you point out the repetitions? I'm not sure which ones you'd be referring to. Most Rarishy stories have sad and dark tags? I thought they were mostly slice-of-life. Time to go find those!
This story went through many revisions and the first two actually didn't include Fluttershy hearing the voice. I added it to make the story flow better and provide a catalyst for Fluttershy's behavior. I knew that she would never feel any ill-will towards Rarity or be unable to see what a beautiful mare she is without some force manipulating her. And you're right, that voice is inside all of us, we just cope with it differently. Some find ways to overcome it, like Rares, and some can't or need guidance, like Flutters. I'll admit that it does have some characteristics of schizophrenia, but that wasn't my original intention. I wanted the voice to be a more common thing, something less severe than that. I wanted to make Flutteshy's...I'm sure what you'd call it...healing? I wanted to make Fluttershy's healing gradual but I see your point, it isn't something that can be solved just like that. I'll admit it may have seemed a bit rushed at first and that Fluttershy had found a quick solution, but my intention was to make it a more "easier said than done" sort of thing. When the time came, Fluttershy wouldn't be able to find the third thing because it was going to be a process for her.
Was the ending a cliffhanger? I never thought I'd ever be a good enough writer to the point where people would want more! I always thought it was cliche to end a story with "I love you" but I just couldn't help myself! I'm so thrilled you enjoyed it, and you're very welcome!
I should be thanking you for the feedback! And yes, those jerks don't bother as much anymore 
I can understand that the reason most people don't like Rarity is because she is the least-relatable of them all. "All we really like is what we know" after all
I know exactly what you mean about not having anything in common Rarity, believe me, I'm as far from her personality as you can get. I'm a laid-back tomboy like Applejack, morally opposed to wearing dresses like RD, and almost identical to Fluttershy personality wise. But the fact the she is so different is the whole reason I love her. There is something about her, a presence I can't really describe, that is so unique, something that I don't think a single other pony possess. She see's the world through different eyes. I don't know, it's hard to describe. I just love her, but I can understand why others don't, as much it saddens me.
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I'm not completely sure, so what I'm going to say is just... 'my guess', I suppose? An editor looks out for structural flaws, plot-holes, pacing, stuff that just doesn't add up. An editor has a harder job because he's supposed to think with you about your story, how to improve it, how to avoid certain downfalls.
A proofreader 'just' searches for all those pesky little typing errors, mistakes in tense, accidentally switched names and stuff like that. (Which is still a ton of work.) He's not supposed to recommend changes to your story, it's pacing or anything, he's just searching for 'technical errors'.
Huh. Okay. I'm stupid, it seems.
I can't find any anymore or I'm blind or... yeah well, screw that - I f***ed up. Sorry 'bout that. 
My sincerest apologies.
Most? No, I wouldn't go so far as to speak of 'most' stories. But I got the feeling they're more prone to that than other ships...
I don't think this process is something that's going to be complete in a few hours, days or even months. In my own experience - healing what years of downfall/horror caused needs the same amount of time... if not more. I just fear it could make her depend on Rarity and her support - which is a dangerous thing once mixed with romantic interests. That's a good way to lead to obsessions.
It sure was. Is she going to date the nice guy who's maybe really interested in her? Will it be another downfall, somehow? Will she come clean with Rarity? What's Raritys take an all this? There's still so much potential, so many ways unexplored, so many questions unanswered. Of course it's a cliffhanger - a fine one, too.
And yeah, it's totally cheesy and cliché. So what about it? It doesn't matter as long as it's good and entertaining. Which it was. There's a reason 'the classics' became 'the classics' in the first place...
No need to. I'm just a random idiot on the internet, throwing my scattered thoughts at artists.
That's good to hear.
Differences attract, or something along that line?
Although I don't count myself among Raritys biggest fans... I'm always glad that she got those fans.
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Oh I see, so is it necessary to have a proofreader or can an editor do a proofreader's job in addition? I suppose if that were the case there wouldn't be any proofreaders, so they must be separate from editors.
Oh Mermerus, don't worry about it, it's totally fine! I do stuff like all the time, trust me. I'm just glad there aren't any
You know, the odd thing is, I actually haven't read many Rarishy stories outside of....ahem....clop
But that's where I got my love for Rarishy, that and events in the show. They're just perfect for each other, especially now that we know Fluttershy can sew (which may be the basis for an upcoming story of mine 
) I wonder why they have more sad and dark tags than other ships.
You're right, it would probably take as long to break it down as it did to build it up, which for Fluttershy was years. I think she's been coping with her bullying a lot better now that she has her friends, but the aftermath of it is still there. She's been dealing with the voice all her life and it definitely isn't something that's going to go away all of a sudden. If I had a larger time frame I would've spread it out more: Fluttershy's ups and downs, her struggles, her successes. But I didn't have that long and I had to leave whether or not Fluttershy was able to overcome her hardships up the reader. Do you think it's a weak point in the writing and I should add a little more closure?
That's true, I remember writing something about Fluttershy not being able to find something she liked about herself on her own, without Rarity providing examples. And now that Flutters knows she can't let Rarity now about her feelings, I can see how that could lead to obsession. But my hope is that one day she'll have enough confidence in herself by her own efforts and some of Rarity's support the tell Rarity how she feels.
Woohoo! My first successful cliffhanger! Do you think a sequel is order? I hadn't intended on one, but I would write anything for anyone at the drop of a hat. If I were to write one, it would probably be Flutters dating Garden Gold and finding that he is deeply in love with her. Flutters would be so happy that her feelings for Rarity would sort of get put on the back burner, but they would still surface when she was with her. Rarity would be secretly jealous of Garden Gold to the point where she would tell Fluttershy how she feels, and then Fluttershy would be faced with a dilemma. Anyway, just a thought. And you're right, people write cliche things all the time because there are times when they make the story better!
I understand, I'm not a big fan of Rainbow Dash, but I can still appreciate certain qualities about her. Sometimes
. And yes, sometimes it seems I stand alone as Rarity's sole protector. I respect people like you who can tell me that they don't like Rarity in a polite way, I wish more people were like you. I haven't been so fortunate in the past. I would never say anything bad about Rainbow Dash (even if I wanted to), especially to those who I knew adored her, so I don't understand why the minute people find out I love Rarity, they say horrible things about her right to my face. There are things I can even repeat. Why does there have to be so much hate out there, Mermerus? 
Oh, and thank you so much for saying I have writing talent, it really means a lot! Teens like me live for compliments like that!
7098447
I'm not sure, but... maybe we've reached the point where we should send messages instead of spaming in the comment section? This is your comment section, so that decision is up to you...
Depends pretty much on the person you're asking. If he/she's up for it, go for it. Asking never hurts, does it?
Something you might already know about or otherwise would like to read: Listen, Language, Lust (trilogy) and, of course, whatever Steel Resolve is writing up. Green, for example. I don't read stories until they're finished, so I didn't read a single line of Green yet, but it's Steel. He's writing good stuff. Always.
As for the clop, well... there's 'clop' and there's 'mature'. The first one would be about a shortish sex-scene with little to no plot while the other weaves sex-scenes into the plot when it fits, without derailing it or stealing it's spotlight. Both is fine - you just have to know what you're looking for. No reason to be embarrassed about it, either.
... yeah, to be honest - I don't know why. Maybe you should try asking those who write these fics, though. Maybe they can be a bit more helpful.
I think the show's doing a good job at showing her up's and down's so far. As for your tale... I think it's good the way it stands now. But as I already mentioned - there would be enough potential for a sequel. If you're willing to write one, of course.
I don't know if it's 'in order' - I don't command you to do anything, really. You do write good stuff and know about how to portray those two. So if you write one, try to remember me and give me a heads-up. Once it's finished, I'll probably read it.
That being said, try to remember one thing a whooole lot of writers tend to forget about while shipping Rarity with, well, anypony: Spike. He's not just winking out of existence. He's one of Fluttershys friends just as he's one of Raritys friends. And he's got a major crush. If he isn't around - why? Where is he? If he is around: How's he being treated? Is Rarity finally going to burst his bubble? Having some 'adult talk'? Or, what would be more unique: Maybe it's even Fluttershy, talking to him? Or, even better still: It's Spike himself, talking to Flutters as he sees their bond grow stronger.
He's there. He's in love with Rares. And he's maturing. A lot of potential, too - but even if you don't want do deal with him, don't just 'forget' all about him, too.
Aw chucks, thank you!
It's not that I don't like her. I do. I just like the rest of those six more than her.
Come to think of it, I don't think there's a single pony I don't like in some way...
Okay. This is weird.
Never happened to me, to be honest. Then again, I'm a rather... reclusive type.
I was an asshole, years back, being polite instead of being honest. And yes - if you think about it, that's a huuuge difference. While I still try to be polite, I'll also try to be honest - finding a balance between those two is the trick. If I'm downvoting something, I always try to explain why. In your case, thankfully, that wasn't even necessary. Because it was good. I didn't have to downvote, I didn't have to explain anything. Telling you that you have a talent for writing? It's the honest truth. Well, in my opinion anyway. (But I read only through roughly more than five hundred stories and I don't think that's all that much.)
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plus I'm responding on my phone right now and I can't use quotes. Oh no. You mentioned Steel Resolve. Be prepared for ten pargraphs of me fangirling over him. How did you know I was a huge fan of Steel? Did you read my posts on the self-doubting writers group? Now we really have to PM so people don't see me gushing about Steel! He was actually the one who inspired me to write this fic.
Yeah I think we should start PMing since our replies seem to be getting longer
I was amazed to realize you were in high school. Most people don't come to such a mature understanding of relationships and insecurities and overcoming oneself until much later in life.
This will sound strange, but I love that no matter how long she stood in front of the mirror, Fluttershy was only able to find two things to admire about herself. That's powerful, because it's realistic-- it takes time and patience and a lot of setbacks to undo emotional damage like that and learn to love yourself again. You recognize that, and you show even those two things to be the victory they are.
Thank you for writing this story. You have so much talent.
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It doesn't sound strange at all, that's what I was going for 
As much as I wanted it to end happily with Fluttershy instantly realizing what a wonderful pony she is, it took years for her to build up this skewed self-image and it was going to take just as long to overcome it. It definitely wouldn't be something that happened overnight, there would be struggles, but there would also be victories and I wanted her to at least be able to find two. This story is based on my experiences growing up, and even now I still have a hard time finding the positive aspects of myself. I'll admit, being such a young author I was a bit hesitant to delve into such a sensitive subject, I wasn't sure I had the skill nor the experience to make it come across as realistic, so it's a huge relief to hear that you think it is! 
As for the mature understanding of insecurities and relationships -- I'm beyond flattered! 
I've had my fair share of insecurities and unfortunately I'm well aware of how detrimental they can be. As for relationships...well....I've never been in one 
. For the romance portion I was basically going off of what I imagined romance to feel like and everything I've seen from other romance writers that I admire. 
Gosh, thank you so much! It means to the world to me. And you're very welcome!
Sorry this is so long, I tend to write a lot
I'm on the older side of high school, I graduate in 28 days woohoo! I've been told I'm mature for my age, and it's always a huge compliment to me, but in reality I'm really not. My mom and I still make fart jokes and I still watch cartoons, mainly MLP and Steven Universe whilst eating fruity pebbles in a onesie
Wow, this is truly beautiful. So much feels
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Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed
This is so beautifully crafted. The emotions feel so real and gahhh so much feels!
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Gosh, I really appreciate that, thank you very much! It took me quite a while to write this story but I'm so glad it turned out well and comments like yours make it completely worthwhile
Ugh, hate to be the one point it out, but that goes against the very message of this very own story of yours. There will always be literary works better and worse than yours. Staying humble and striving for perfection is commendable, but don't let adherence to those ideals push the pendulum into the other, unhealthy direction.
An fun math problem for you: how many professional writers do you think have their works published on this site? Those perfectly structured, flawlessly flowing stories, bereft of all the decidedly unforgivable "sins" that make editors exhibit draconic traits at times - are those the only kind worthy of praise, the only kind able to convey ideas deserving of attention and emotions that can deeply resonate within readers? If that truly was the case, I would have had about a dozen author names in my directory for saved stories. Fine, two dozen at most. But there are 137 of those at the moment and I've only recently went into 2012.
As for Rarity, the character helped me a great deal to re-evaluate the way I see a vaguely defined category of real life women whom she represents. While many are, indeed, shallow and vain victims of "beauty" and/or fashion industry, there are some true gems to be found, no matter how much of a rarity they might be. It is, after all, not about skirts or make-up. What truly matters is whether outward appearance frames and reflects inner beauty, whether there is one behind the facade of some description everyone has anyway.
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Let me say this first off; it's a decent story with well characterised-characters, though there are a few flaws here and there. It's mostly in the way of formatting, so don't worry too much about the plot, characters and execution itself.
I'd post a serious, longer review later, most likely in a few weeks time.