Angel scampered around Fluttershy's hooves, impatiently awaiting the bowl of salad Fluttershy was hastily trying to prepare. She chuckled to herself at seeing the little rabbit so eager to eat something that, just a few months before, he would’ve turned his nose up at.
She placed the salad on the floor in front of him and he dug into it with gusto. “See Angel? I told you you’d like it if you just gave it a chance.”
While Angel shoveled leafy greens into his mouth, Fluttershy tidied up the kitchen and continuously glanced out the window as she did so, just like she’d been doing ever since she’d gotten home. She’d only been at Rarity’s for a few hours and spent the rest of the afternoon working on outdoor chores while it was still daylight. When the sun dipped behind the trees of the Everfree, her intense fear of the dark drove her activities inside. Evening was now falling over Ponyville; crickets began their nocturnal melody, the soft yellow glow of fireflies flickered off and on, and a peaceful stillness had settled in the humid July air.
Dinner time had come and gone and still no sign of Rarity. Fluttershy looked out the window for the hundredth time, hoping to make out a familiar white coat and purple mane somewhere in the darkness. But she saw only her front yard, peppered with dens and warrens and the small stream running through it. Turning from the window with a dejected sigh, she decided that it would be best to do something to take her mind off of Rarity. She hadn’t stopped thinking about her ever since she'd gotten home, and she’d been replaying their conversation over and over, trying to discern what sort of emotions she was feeling from it. She trotted into her living room, grabbed the book she had been reading off the coffee table, and opened it to the page she had bookmarked.
She had just gotten to a particularly riveting part when a white envelope was slipped through her mail slot. Letters never came this late unless it was something urgent, and Fluttershy immediately got up from the couch and went to pick it up, hoping it wasn’t anything too dire. The sent address was from somewhere in Manehattan, which was odd, since she hadn’t been there in months and didn’t have any relatives there. Curious, she broke the seal and pulled out the letter, thinking maybe her farsighted mail career had made a mistake. It wouldn't be the first time. However, once she saw that elegant cursive, she knew it was no mistake and she brought the letter back to the couch to read it with a giddy smile on her face.
Dear Fluttershy,
Forgive the brevity of this letter, the boorish pony in charge of this post office is rather impatient and keeps glaring at me. If you didn’t see the address, I’m back in Manehattan! Taking in the hustle and bustle of this spectacular city is a lot more enjoyable when my career isn’t hanging in the balance. The map called Applejack and I here to solve a friendship problem, but neither of us are certain what it is yet. However, we only just arrived and I’m positive we’ll find it sooner or later. Who knows, by the time you’re reading this it may already be solved! I have a feeling it’ll take a bit longer than that though, and I don’t know what we’ll be doing in terms of lodgings, but Manehattan has some lovely hotels. Or perhaps I’ll go visit my dear friend Coco and see if she has a room to spare. Don’t worry about Sweetie, she’s been at my parent’s house all day and I wrote them a letter telling them to keep her there a bit longer. I feel just terrible for missing the Social, I owe it to her after all, but I’m hoping she’ll at least be able watch with Apple Bloom, and possibly Scootaloo. Tell the girls we’ll be back in a few days. I’d say four at the most. Goodness, it seems like I was just saying that when I left for Canterlot! We live in exciting times, do we not? I do wish you all were here though, I’m still not too fond of having to leave the four of you behind, but apparently this is up to me and Applejack. As for you, my dear Fluttershy, I greatly encourage you to accept Garden Gold’s offer. I assure you his intentions are honorable and you deserve somepony that will treat you like the beautiful and extraordinary mare that you are. I didn’t get a chance to mention this before but looks aren’t everything, you know. Maybe he just thought the Element of Kindness should be on the receiving end for once. Understanding and compassion are just as essential in a relationship as physical attraction. Plus, I may have already made a few sketches for your new evening gown on the ride here. Aheh. Anyway, I just wanted to inform you of my whereabouts. We had to leave in quite a rush and after racing back to the boutique to pack my things, which I had just unpacked by the way, I remembered you said you needed to go back home. Take care of yourself, darling, and remember everything I told you.
Your Friend,
Rarity
P.S. I haven’t gotten Applejack anything for her birthday either! Maybe I can find something here and sneak it home. We can say it’s from the both of us.
Fluttershy carefully folded the letter back up and held it tightly to her chest. It even smelled like Rarity's lavender perfume. The next few days were going to be difficult without her, but she would manage, just as she always did. She just had to stay busy. Perhaps she would go and visit the girls tomorrow and see if they could do something together. The Sisterhooves Social wasn’t exactly Fluttershy’s cup of tea, too many crowds and loud noises, but maybe they could find something else to do. Maybe she could clean up her cottage a little and invite Rarity over for tea when she got back to return the favor. Or maybe that's just an excuse to be alone with her again. The thought came from seemingly nowhere and much to Fluttershy’s surprise, she felt a blush coming on and her heart started to race. What’s gotten into me lately? I must be getting tired. It’s almost bedtime after all and it’s been a long day. I’m just not thinking clearly, she rationalized.
She checked up on all of her animals before grabbing her book and heading upstairs for the night, Angel scampering along behind her. She brought Rarity’s letter with her as well, wanting to read it one more time before she went to sleep.
Angel hopped up on the bed and settled in for the night while Fluttershy went to find a box of matches. While there was a substantial amount of moonlight coming in through her bedroom window, it was still too dark for Fluttershy’s liking and she always kept a candle burning next to her bed. The box of matches was sitting in its usual spot on her dresser and she fished one out and struck it against the side. She lit a candle and brought it over to her bed, cupping her hoof around the flame to keep it from extinguishing. She sat down on her bed, the springs creaking under her weight, and she placed the candle on her nightstand. As she did so, she saw the flame reflecting off something in the partially open drawer underneath. It was a small, circular mirror that Fluttershy hadn’t used it ages. Normally she wouldn’t have given it a second glance, but remembering what Rarity had said, she picked it up. Her mind screamed at her to put it away, to save herself the torment, but she had to do this for Rarity, if not for herself. Slowly, reluctantly, she raised it to her face.
The other Fluttershy, partially illuminated by the candlelight, greeted her. Instantly that urge to look away seized her, but instead of turning her head, she closed her eyes, and after a minute of summoning up the courage, was able to force them back open. As always, the voice flung insults at her like never before, but through it’s taunts, she could faintly hear Rarity’s cultured voice echoing behind them. The insults grew louder, but Fluttershy willed herself to only listen to Rarity until she was able to completely drown out the voice.
You’re nothing but an ugly excuse for a pony....
I see a pony who is as beautiful inside as she is outside....
You know how manipulative Rarity is. She was trying to make you see things that aren't there...
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, darling, and you are a sight to behold...
And you almost believed her….
I don’t think anything could ever make you look any more stunning than you do just by being yourself….
Your beauty carries with it a certain air that I’ll never have, no matter what I do....
I don’t have your charming voice and dazzling eyes, but most of all, I don’t have your natural beauty….
Fluttershy concentrated on her voice with all of her might, trying to use it as an anchor as she attempted to try and find something, anything she still liked about herself. She studied her eyes, trying to see them through Rarity’s own and find what about them made her think they were dazzling. At first, nothing special stood out to her, they were just a pair of eyes, strangely shaped ones at that. But Rarity’s words rang true and she found the longer she looked at them, and really looked, not just the fleeting glances she had given herself all her life, the more she began to notice just how vibrant the turquoise in her irises really was. They sparkled in the candlelight as if they really were made of turquoise. She still believed the voice about her eye-shape being unsightly, but the eyes themselves were, in fact, dazzling, and it almost made up for it. I guess that counts as one.
She tried to recall anything else Rarity had said. Was her voice really charming? Not the disembodied voice in her head masquerading as herself, but her voice. It certainly wasn’t any more charming than Rarity’s, but it was charming in different way, she supposed. Rarity’s was posh and velvety, while hers was soft and dulcet. Voices were the one thing about a pony that never really changed. Sure, the pitch would fluctuate as you aged, but it would still carry with it that same unique sound that only you possessed. Since it wasn’t a physical feature, Fluttershy realized that her voice had been one of the few things she was never self-conscious of. In fact, she even enjoyed the way it sounded.
Number three wouldn't come as easily. She thought long and hard, trying to dig as deep as she could, but without Rarity’s guidance she kept coming up short. She tried looking through Rarity’s eyes again, but there just wasn’t anything else she liked about herself. There were things she felt half-heartedly about, but nothing she truly admired. She didn’t feel discouraged, however, she was actually feeling quite empowered by just being able to find two. This was her first time doing this after all and Rarity said it would get easier with time. Tomorrow, she would try again. Her eyelids were growing heavy, so she put the mirror back in it’s drawer and reached for Rarity’s letter, wanting to glance at it one more time before bed.
Fluttershy arranged the pillows just the way she liked and snuggled under the covers, trying not to disturb Angel who was slumbering peacefully at the foot of her bed. Suddenly, she felt something sharp jab into her ribs and she dropped the letter reflexively. “Ow!” She sprang back to a sitting position and put a hoof to her side. She peeled back each layer of blankets until she spied a small dark shape tangled between the sheets and comforter. Fluttershy pulled it out carefully and brought it into the candlelight. It was the rose Garden Gold had given her. He’d told her it was fresh picked, which explained the thorns. Even from a distance it smelled divine and Fluttershy held it up to her nose and took a wiff, delighting in the pleasant aroma. It must’ve gotten stuck in her bed after she’d come home crying and buried herself under the covers. As she admired the rose, she felt a stab of guilt for running away from him like that.
He really was a kind stallion, not to mention handsome. Maybe Rarity’s right. Maybe he really does like me. Fluttershy couldn’t help but feel a twinge of excitement at this. If it turned out his interest in her wasn’t solely to humiliate, this could be her chance to finally be with a stallion that would actually love her back. Every time a stallion had asked her out as a joke, there had always been a fleeting moment of hope, that maybe this time would be the time they really meant it. But then harsh reality was set back in, and she would remember as long as she looked the way she did, they would never mean it.
But now that Rarity had helped her to see reason, she realized Rarity really was right. Nopony had laughed at her, in fact, there had been nopony else around, and if Garden Gold had gone out of his way to pick a fresh rose, maybe he wasn’t like other stallions. Like Rarity said, there was more to a pony than just looks, and maybe Garden Gold loved her for who she was as a pony and not just what she looked like. Fluttershy had spent her entire life reading romance novels and dreaming of the day when she would find her special somepony, and if there was a chance Garden Gold could be it, she was willing to take a risk for once in her life. Tomorrow, she would find his peach stand and tell him yes. Even if she would be too nervous to speak at first.
But...something stopped her.
It was a feeling, one that, until now, Fluttershy hadn’t been able to place. It had been there ever since Rarity had said all those wonderful things about her as they sat in front of the mirror. Or maybe it had been there when Rarity was holding her while she told her about the colts and just hadn’t noticed it through the myriad of other emotions. But as she thought back, maybe it had been there all along. Maybe it was why Fluttershy had been counting down the days on her calendar to when Rarity got back. Maybe it was why every moment she spent with her made Fluttershy feel safe and warm, as if Rarity's presence was like a fleece blanket. Until now, all she knew was that she had felt it once before. It was a feeling she had only felt for the colt at flight camp, right before he planted the seed in her head that it would be something she would never feel for a stallion again. And he was right in a way, she hadn’t felt it for a stallion since then, not yet anyway, but she felt it for a mare. She now knew why Rarity’s question had made her so nervous. Fluttershy’s heart had known she was in love, it had just taken her brain a little longer to recognize the signals. Right now, they both were going a mile a minute. I’m in love with Rarity.
As soon as this realization struck her, she squealed and pulled the covers over her head, convinced that this feeling wouldn’t be able to find her under there and would just go away. Fluttershy tried to convince herself that it wasn’t true. Rarity had helped her through a very personal problem and she had shared with her a traumatic event from her past that she’d never told anypony else. It was normal to feel affection for her, but only the kind of closeness friends shared. If it was romantic, it was probably just misdirected from Garden Gold. Or maybe she just missed Rarity, absence makes the heart grow fonder after all. But as much as she tried to deny it, as much as tried to find a rational explanation, there was no mistaking it. She’d never mistake this feeling of euphoria and unadulterated affection. The only time she ever felt this way was when she was in love, and unlike the colt from flight camp, Fluttershy knew Rarity would never hurt her. Rarity had always been special to her, she looked forward to their spa dates more than anything else, and now, their friendship had blossomed into something much more.
Fluttershy shook her head vigorously, as though it would rattle her brain into thinking correctly again. When she finally stopped, it took her eyes a few seconds to stop rolling around in her skull. No, Fluttershy, Rarity is your best friend and that’s all she ever will be. What’s going to happen if things don’t work out? Do you really want to risk your friendship for something like that? What if we never speak to each other again?! She knew she was exaggerating, but the fear was enough to snap her back to reality, and she was able to see things with more clarity. Rarity was a mare seeking only for stallions, and so was Fluttershy for that matter. When did I even start liking mares in the first place? Rarity had always dreamed of a prince coming to sweep her off her feet, not a princess, and although she cared for Fluttershy a great deal, her feelings were strictly platonic. On top of all that, Rarity was so thrilled that Fluttershy had been asked out, and if Rarity found out she had turned Garden Gold down, she was going to want an explanation, one that Fluttershy was never going to give, not in Luna’s blue moon.
I’m just tired, that’s all it is. It’s been a long, emotionally exhausting day and my brain just isn’t functioning properly. I’ll go to bed, and all these feelings will be gone in the morning. I probably won’t even remember having them. I’ll find Garden Gold, plan a date, spend all day at the boutique getting fitted for my dress when Rarity comes home, have a wonderful date, plan a second, and everything will turn out fine. Rarity will be happy, Garden Gold will be happy, and I’ll….never have to worry about Rarity finding out I feel this way. I don’t even like mares anyway, so maybe being with a stallion will remind me of that. It’s better for everyone if I’m with Garden Gold.
Satisfied with her conclusion, Fluttershy leaned over and blew out the candle, plunging the room into darkness save for the moonlight cascading in through the window. She rested her head on the pillow and snuggled under her covers, which were now warmed up from her body heat. As she the veil of sleep began to fall over her, she looked out her window at the billions of scintillating stars that Luna had arranged in the night sky and couldn’t help but wonder if Rarity was looking at the same ones from a hotel balcony somewhere in Manehattan.
Fluttershy sighed wistfully into her pillow and whispered, “Goodnight Rarity.”
But she couldn’t let it end there. Before she let sleep overtake her, and before she pretended like none of this had ever happened when she woke up the next morning, she had to say one more thing. It wasn’t just what had happened today that warranted what she was about to say, it had just made her realize that today had been one of thousands. Fluttershy thought back to all the times Rarity had been there by her side to help her through the bad times and cheer her on through the good. All the times she’d wiped away her tears whether they were from laughter or despair. All the times she never gave up on her, not until she had Fluttershy smiling again, and how much all of it meant to Fluttershy was spoken of in one simple sentence. Whether or not it she meant it romantically or as a friend didn’t matter, it was true either way.
It was barely above a whisper, and had somepony been in the room they might not have heard it, but Angel, who had woken up when Fluttershy shifted around in the covers, heard it clearly.
“I love you.”