PUNS!
Knock knock knock
Twilight Sparkle sipped at her morning tea, a delightful blend of white tangerine and vanilla oolong. The day started out beautifully. The sky had literally no clouds, and the sun was hot, but not unpleasantly so. A cool breeze set it off. Twilight supposed she had to thank Rainbow Dash for the wonderful day. She tutted, laughing into her cup that was suspended by her aura. One word about how nice the day is, and Rainbow would not leave her alone about it for at least the next three weeks.
Knock knock knock
The pounding at the door came again, this time slightly more urgently. A voice said something, and another voice responded. Twilight’s eyes widened when she realized who it was. “Wait! I’ll get the door, just hold o-”
A blur shot through her window and crashed into Twilight. Pinkie followed, gracefully diving through the window. Rainbow Dash looked at an unamused Twilight. “Hi, Spy Twi!”
“Spy Twi?”
“Oh, yeah.” Rainbow rubbed the back of her head. “I thought because of when we first met I accused you of being a spy, and since Twi rhymed with spy…” Pinkie nudged Rainbow. “What is it, Pinks? Oh. Oh! Right.” She did an epic backflip off of Twilight. “We were wondering if you have any books on pony anatomy.”
Twilight blinked. “I must have heard you wrong. Somehow I got pony anatomy from Daring Do.”
“Nope!” Pinkie popped up next to Twilight and put a hoof around her neck. “We seriously need some books on pony anatomy!”
Twilight headed over to the bookshelves. “Why, if I might ask?”
“B-because, uh, we want to make an anatomically correct skeleton for this year’s Nightmare Night.” Rainbow tried not to splutter any more when Twilight raised an eyebrow.
“Really?” Twilight squinted at the pair, who seemed to be sweating quite a bit for such a nice day.
“Yup!” Pinkie’s eyes quickly darted to the left and right respectively.
“That… is... great news!” Pushing books around, Twilight grinned happily. “Do you know how many skeletons are anatomically incorrect? A few years ago, I remember there was a skeleton with a floating head and a suit. That was just plain wrong. Last year there was something that went around about skeleton brothers.” She frowned. “That was a weird year. Anyway!” She gave some books to Pinkie and Rainbow. “Here you go, girls! Enough books to get you thoroughly covered on the subject.”
Pinkie smirked. “Well that’s tibia determined.”
Twilight blinked again. “Oh hardy har har, Pinkie.”
“I know, it’s pretty humerous.”
“It tickles my funny bone!”
Twilight forced out some chuckles. “Oookay girls, that’s enough.”
“What? You can’t take our skele-ton of puns?” Rainbow snarked back.
Twilight grinned impishly. “No, I just have such better jokes that yours lose meaning on mine.” She said with pride.
Rainbow leaned back, her pride obviously wounded. “Oh really? Then show us, oh great joke master.”
“You know, I would tell you a chemistry joke,” Twilight paused for dramatic effect. “But I wouldn’t get a reaction.” She giggled to herself, until she realized that nobody else in the library was laughing.
Suddenly Spike spoke up from the stairs. “I think she’s just skull-king because she can’t tell good jokes.” That elicited a laugh from both Pinkie and Rainbow and more pouting from Twilight.
“Did you guys seriously just come in here asking for skeleton books so that you could feed me terrible skeleton puns?” Twilight began, eye twitching.
“Nope!” Pinkie said. “We just wanted to put a little more backbone into ours!”
“I’m done.” Twilight stomped out of her house, the sound of howling laughter behind her. Suddenly the day didn’t seem so perfect anymore.
“Augh!” Applejack yelled in surprise as an familiar, frustrated, and very irate unicorn appeared before her in a flash of purple.
Twilight had a manic glint in her eyes, and her mane was getting slightly disheveled. “Applejack.” She leaned in, very close to Applejack’s face. “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.”
“Alright…”
“It’s impossible to put down.”
Applejack stared, feeling a little afraid. Twilight was being slightly… crazy. Nothing a few good puns wouldn’t solve! “Sugarcube, it sounds like yer jus’ farmin’ for jokes now.”
“Applejack…” Twilight inched forward. They were almost nose to nose. “That wasn’t a pun. About farming. Because we’re on a farm. Was it?”
“Oh shoot.” AJ looked straight back at Twilight, now knowing what the reason was for sending the unicorn off the dock. “Twi, Ah’m sorry. RD and Pinkie told me about punnin’ and when Ah heard about, I couldn’t stop! I jus’ kept plowin’ ahead.”
Twilight’s horn light up, and she screamed a scream that could only come from pun-overdose and teleported away.
Applejack stared ahead. “Whut in tarnation jus’ happened?”
A loud zap of teleporting pony echoed through the Carousel Boutique. Rarity calmly sipped her tea, knowing that Twilight would come to her. “Rarity!” Sure enough, there was the yell.
“Yes, darling?” Rarity replied.
“I was going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind!” Twilight yelled from the back-room.
“Twilight, darling, no need to dress-up your jokes.”
An unearthly shriek permeated the air, as well as the zap of a teleporting pony. Rarity continued sipping her tea, unhindered.
ZAP
“Mr. Squirrel was going to tell me a joke about birds, but I said, “Toucan play at that!”
ZAP
Five ponies and a dragon sat outside the Golden Oaks Library, staring worriedly into the windows. “Any ideas why she called an emergency meetin’?” Applejack asked. Various ways of saying ‘no’ filled the air. “Spike, are ya sure?”
“Well,” He began. “She said something about a projec-”
The door to the library shot off its hinges and flew a few yards before planting itself in the road. “Everyone, inside!” By the tone of Twilight’s voice, this was certainly not a request. Once the six had filed inside, their jaws hit the floor. Diagrams covered the walls, and a small presentation was set up in the middle. “Okay, girls and dragon!” Twilight appeared again, a crazy grin on her face. “We’re going to set up a system, so I won’t have to listen to your puns all the time!”
Pinkie and Rainbow Dash shot each other a look that basically said ‘We went way too far, didn’t we?’
“This system is called Project Resist the Urge to Make a Pun.” Twilight flipped the paper on the board, revealing a sign that the words ‘Project R.esist the U.rge to M.ake a P.un’. “No-”
Pinkie burst out laughing, tears streaming down her face. “Pinkie!” Twilight snapped. “What is so funny!?”
“S-sorry, Twi, but it says… it… it says…” Pinkie could not get her words out, laughing too hard to say anything properly.
“What! What does it say!” Twi practically roared.
“It says RUMP!” Pinkie managed to force out, before crumpling on the floor and cackling madly again. Slowly the others began to see it, and they too began to fall over as if by a spell and began laughing.
Twilight stared at the group of her laughing friends, then back at the board, then back at her friends, then back at the board. Rainbow Dash managed to break through her laughter. “I-I guess you could say our puns really…”
“Don’t.” Twilight warned.
“RUMP-led you, huh?”
Twilight sat with her face pressed very firmly against the bar. “Get me your strongest drink.” She mumbled.
The barkeep took one look at the menu, and his eyes bugged out. Slowly, very slowly, he handed it over to Twilight.
‘Bar-ly Enough’
THE END
This is what happens when I'm bored.
I'm not sorry.
EDIT: So I changed Fluttershy's pun, because not many people were getting it. Hope this makes it a bit easier!
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There are puns. EVERYWHERE.
Na
As a master punsmither, you have my favorite.
Sans? Is that you?
Twi's puns where great, they're just require too much thought for her friends I guess.
Undertale?!
Sans?
Papyrus?
i.imgur.com/UX1Oely.png
Sees the word determined
OMG IT"S CONFIRMED IT"S UNDERTALE
This story was freaking brilliant!
So many puns
Aww, don't get mad my little Puny
Huh, so this is what the bottom of the sea feels lik- *implodes*
I'd have said "I have invented a spell that will make you hear nothing but puns until you beg me to dispel it, but by all means finish the sentence Rainbow."
6971100 Na? You mean Sodium?
Hey what's a gambler, necromancer, Sans eye's, want at a magic hospital?
Snake eye's!
Looks like this story's attracting all kinds of punters.
6971085
Hmm... Nope.
6971100
I geddit.
6971209
6971491
NOO I'M NOT UNHEALTHILY OBSESSED WITH IT DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT
6971252
They were actually pretty good, it's just that she was throwing them out of the left-field. Everypony's (Spike included) puns were related on something that was happening.
6971536
6971597
Hehe, thanks guys.
6971696
I AM DONE WITH PUNS!!!
6971704
Twi: GREAT IDEA!
RD: Come on, Twi. Don't you think that would be a little...
Twi: I SWEAR TO CELESTIA IF YOU MAKE A PU-
Celestia: It would be a bit pun-ishing Twilight.
6971804
6971878
Eyy!
6971729
Yes I did laugh out loud.
I'd have worded that better.
Every single one of these was terrible. Which, since they're puns, means they're excellent.
Ja, it looks like zey've been vorking out zeir puns und sighs! Eh, eh? I'll go die in a fire now.
This was beautiful, but twilight's anagram was a hair's breath away from making it spell trump, and then she would have looked like a horses arse. What? no I'm not comparing trump to a horses arse, if you say that again there will be hell toupee
Oh, I get it!
(I don't get it)
6972192
don't get salty, now
Hello bored, I'm Sigmacipher...wanna have a bad time?
I guess Twilight is the pundit that we deserve...but not the one we need right now. Kneed? I could patella that this was going to be a farm-iliar sort of story. As for Mr Squirrel: Two can, but a pair ought. If she wants to take notes, she should probably tell Spike to put a pin in it. Of course Twilight's chemistry pun got no reaction: she's a noble. Poor Twilight can't seem to Rump her friends, even though he's winning all these pri-mare-ies. At the end of the day, I have to ask, what did she do to deserve this punishment? Did her friends just see the oppurtnuity and puns on it?
Puns are a sickness
6972302
6972449
Ha, thanks ya'll.
6972432
It's Twilight Sparkle, she doesn't understand anagrams.
6972712
6973017
6973387
I'm so proud of all of you.
6972763
6973399
'Two can' = Toucan
6972821
I'm not bored anymore though. I'm tired.
6971704
Such a spell would backfire on Twilight. Rainbow Dash could just wing it; she's better on the fly than Twilight it is, though you might say that's a of a pinion.
Puns you say?
Well, in that case:
6973953
I already seen 'em both!
6973521
clever, that joke flew right over my head
6973521 Thank you. The Way of the Sour Kraut may be an old school, but it just felt Reich.
Somepuny needs to be punished.
(
Nopun intended.)Twilight is papyrus and Twilight's friends are sans
6975641
*CLAPCLAPCLAP*
6976269
Oh god I'm just thinking about trying to fight six different Sans in Geno Run now. The thought scares me.
6976307
I love puns.
I was hysterical after this had to take a brake from reading. 9/11 IGN
6977608
Great! I love puns too!
6978507
You just made my day.
I take it you got this idea from playing Undertale.
7131371
No, I got this idea from telling boat puns to my friend for an hour when we were sailing. :3
To say she was angry was an understatement.
7131392 Well Sans from Undertale is like that and always telling a skele-ton of puns.
7131396
Oh I know. I've logged something like 40 hours in on that game. Too much time spent! xD
7131392 So, you could say puns were sailing out of your mouth in a wave?
OOoooooooohhhhh! Double whammy!
...
Damnit, now I'm fishing for ideas here; everything good just keeps slipping away.
...
Wait.
My puns are just outright croppie now. 
Puns are now my anchor in this river of insanity! My plans to drive people insane using puns is coming along swimmingly! I bet that they think I don't have the gull to keep this train of puns afloat! Once I'm done writing all these puns, you'll have a titanic book to read! You are now overcome with a sinking feeling that I wasn't joking! This is now just placeholder text for the inevitable sea of puns to come! Hey! Don't storm out on me now! I just got the president's seal of approval for this! The tides have turned! The puns just keep whaling on me! *Brain asplodes*
They're probably going to deport me from sheer embarrassment.
♪~This is the punishment that never ends; it just keeps going on and on my friends...~♪
7185095
Wow, you mast spend a lot of time thinking up puns! They certainly sail much better than my own!
Too bad it wasn't Berry Pun-ch.
I cannot tell a Lyra; I love it when two good friends Bon-Bond over puns. It's like a Golden hardy-har-Harvest as you understand what each one Diamond Mint.
So many wonderful puns! Twilight's reactions to pun overdose is priceless!
But there was one pun I didn't understand:
Please explain.
Otherwise good job!
7230655
EEEEEH! *Finger Guns*
7230978
That's not really a pun, just Twilight being oversensitive to anything that might be a pun. Two can = Toucan. :3
7231783 Oh. Haha!
A neat story might be one where Twilight suddenly starts noticing how all of the stuff around her is named after horse puns and she's the only one who seems to realize it.
7287353
That's... that's amazing. I literally just might have to make a new chapter for that.
7288113
I will love you forever if you do.
7326840
AWESOME!