• Member Since 23rd Feb, 2016
  • offline last seen Sunday

Chaospaladin


"Sanity is for the weak." - People who know good writing advice

Comments ( 137 )

“It’s more of a revolving door nowadays. The mere thought of physical activity makes them whine like spoiled brats. I swear, if the Princess didn’t make that stupid protection rule, I would have clobbered these fools long ago.”

“Those rules were created because you did clobber some recruits.”

You should probably be thankful for that rule. Sounds to me like you would've been thrown out without it a long time ago, and with good reason.

... ... Okay, dear author, you've hooked me like a fish. I can't say I've seen that much of Flash Sentry, but a timeskip leading to him becoming a successful Lieutenant seems like a great angle to take. That speech of his even got me riled up. Did you use inspiration from your own experiences for that or something?

Definitely gonna read more. (And proofread more, of course. :twilightsmile:)

I dunno where those downvotes are coming from*, 'cause this is a pretty good start! :twilightsmile:



* Flash Sentry-hatin'? :facehoof:

I'm really loving this story so far, it totally hooked me! I can't wait for your next update :twilightsmile:

Can't wait to read the next chapter. Also Trojan looks like a real fun character to read and write for.

Lol that Trojan reference :rainbowlaugh:
Anyways another great chapter, keep it up!

Well written story, so I find it baffling that it has so many downvotes. The only thing that makes sense is that it's angry shippers.

Sheez, you people can't get a break and chill a bit?

7476560 That happens with every Flash Sentry story.

There sure must be a lot of Flash-haters downvoting this, geez. :rainbowlaugh:

This is a pretty good story so far. Trojan in particular is quite a character.

hahaha Trojan that was perftect. She knows how to come across as an annoying sister.

So Mr. Cake hasn't been replaced or manipulated by a changeling, but he has been affected by one. Wonder what that means? Though I do have a couple theories about what Chrissy's game plan is here. She's affecting each member of the Mane 6 in a subtle way, with Pinkie she's making her hate Mr. Cake in a way that makes it look like he deserves her wrath. This is how I think she's going to break up the girls and go after Twilight. Also just wanted to say, great job so far. I'm a little envious, I had a Flash adventure story in my head that has a lot of these same elements. I'm just a terrible writer. But this is by far one of the top tier Flash fics I've read that make him interesting, likeable, and a fun character. I look forward to the next chapter.

Should we be concerned about Trojan?

"...... Luna take the wheel." lol Beautiful

“How in the world did these rookies pass screening?”

“It’s more of a revolving door nowadays. The mere thought of physical activity makes them whine like spoiled brats. I swear, if the Princess didn’t make that stupid protection rule, I would have clobbered these fools long ago.”

“Those rules were created because you did clobber some recruits.”

“And they damn well deserved it, but that’s not the problem here. What the hay am I supposed to do with these wet noodle excuses for ponies?”

Considering these recruits were ‘the future of the Empire’, this was a serious problem.

Speaking as a former US Army Drill Sergeant, I can attest to this problem.

Were those references to Cupcakes, Portal, and Gurren Lagann? So many doses of awesome.

I'm enjoying Flash and Trojan's interactions.

I approve of adolescent, potentially badass Spike.

Ooooo, now that was a little ship-teasey. I had been wondering about Flash and Trojan in regards to that Romance tag, but now it feels a little more FlashLighty. Not that I'm not fine either way, but we'll see how it goes. Of course, I've also been wondering about Trojan simply on account of the name Trojan and the fact that she's a bug-horse, but we'll see how it that goes too.

Bringing Spike in was probably a good idea, he'd just be suspicious and would get in the way all mission long otherwise.

Hmn, gotta wonder what is going on with Mr. Cake.

“I was chasing somepony who had stolen my Element of Magic. She was a pony who used to be Celestia’s student before me: Sunset Shimmer.”

For a moment, my heart stopped.

Oh ho! I imagine complications from that explains Flash's troubled history with playing music for others.

RIP Flash's face, and possibly his skull too.

Interesting twist having the changelings be working with hatred instead of love. I'm guessing that that is what made Chrysalis not herself and caused this assassination plot and Trojan's defection in the first place.

“I FORGIVE YOU TOO, MR. CAKE!”

Well, that explains why Pinkie was there last chapter, of course she would be there to reconcile with Mr. Cake that quickly.

Hatred magic fueled angry Pinkie is quite a scary thing.

Great fight scene, especially the unexpected dragon artillery.

....Luna, take the wheel.

Perfect.

At the very least this ended up being a great bonding experience for our team of three.

"War room council" situations like this, as I call them, are one of my favorite things to see in any story. You can have multiple characters with differing points of view on how to approach problems, get them all to hash things out together, coordinate their actions, and set the stage for future events to come. There's just so much potential in moments like that, and I think you pulled this one off very smoothly! It's especially nice to see that Flash may be ready to accept Trojan's help, but not embrace it just yet. I'm looking forward to seeing more between these two characters!

And no, Spike, I didn't forget you. Dragon Whisper, huh? Y'know, I can definitely see that, considering his basic breath already magically sends objects long distances. Sending what basically amounts to a radio transmission, though... that's some extremely fine control. With how much growth you're showing with our up-and-coming drake, I wonder just how many new tricks Twilight has learned over the years?

Dis gun b guuuud. :moustache:

“Oh nothing~” Rainbow sang. I knew that tune anywhere, and instinctively knew I was not ready for whatever Rainbow was about to say. “Only that Sassy caught you saying that you—”

“RAINBOW!”

That ought to be fun once the full false story comes out. It's easy to imagine what could be making Twilight blush so much.

Ahh, so, Sombra somehow? Seems like a likely candidate for someone found out in the northern wilderness that has hatred related powers and who might have their own plans for Twilight.

This story is criminally under-liked here on FIMFICTION. Please keep writing!

It's 2am and I gotta wake up in 5 hours to go to work.

Welcome to being a writer, :pinkiecrazy:

This whole fic so far has been an absolute delight to read so far and I for one look forward to see how things continue next month

Wow. So that's what happened to Flash. Ouch, no wonder he acts like that. Poor guy...

I'm guessing it was a pile of dead corpses...or something really grotesque that can't be described.

This was an interesting chapter. I like how much Flash contemplates over how he's wrong and right here. You can't blame him for thinking and feeling this way based on what happened to him. This was a really good chapter.

So far so good, mostly.

FTL

Hmmm... if it was just more corpses it would not be a game changer... suspect it has something to do with the wilting vegetation which could be from the cold which seems associated with the pathos... an isolated block of winter in the Everfree or maybe the old hideout is here and things are not as would be expected... or both... a lot of hints but not a lot to go on yet... but that is not necessarily a bad thing...

Flash going out on a limb on his own is not a positive thing for the team... and things do not look promising for him on other fronts... both Shining and Twilight are planning to have talks with him tonight and neither are going to be easy for him... added to his internal struggles with reconciling his past experiences and present team members points to things possibly getting worse for poor Flash before they get any better.

But, hey, at least the story now comes with more Zecora! How can having more Zecora be a bad thing?

Uh oh...looks like someone is hallucinating. Did not see that coming, the whole windigo and stuff. Apparently everything is out to get Flash in this. Great chapter!

8254623
Thanks for the comment and spoiler tag!

Moral of the day: Never split the party.

FTL

8254634
Yup, at last Flash finally saw the folly of his actions... and then crushed his despondency with resolve... only to have something else take him for a ride into what is likely one of his darkest moments up to this point in his life. Where Flash is in reality compared to his visions leaves the potential for great misunderstanding and disaster... "They wouldn't know what hit them" could also be rephrased "I no longer know what hit me." Windigos were not on my initial list of suspects but different interpretations of them make them hard to nail down... interesting his Talent did not trigger... could his talent not see the threat or is it beyond its ken... or perhaps his talent seen that this could be a help if he has the strength to control it?

To sum this one up... Pride cometh before the fall, eh?

8509484
Don't worry, I haven't abandoned this and don't plan to. Stuff is getting in the way, but I am still working on the chapter as we speak. Sorry for the delay.

...I didn't see that coming. I should have, but I was too busy being surprised at how...different this chapter was. I did not expect a full chapter of just Spike and Trojan. Wow. This was really interesting.

Whoa...that was...dark. Really dark. Like, I did not see that coming. Poor Flash...

“I will stay here and deal with Flash. I need you to be the one to find Twilight and the others.”

Or you could use Dragon Whisper to contact Twilight and have her teleport to your location in an instant and magically restrain Flash Sentry.

You need to take a break on the cliffhanger chapter endings before I die of suspense.

That conversation between Spike and Flash was so great.

Just go with it, Flash, it might turn out as well for you as it did for Shining.

Oooo, Thorax, I'm a little surprised to see him show up in this fic.

Ahhh, so he was the infiltrator in Ponyville. Now there's a different take on him coming into the cast.

Theory time: the caste Thorax is not mentioning is a princess caste, meaning Trojan. That explains why she directly refers to Chrysalis as her mother and why Thorax was so relieved to hear she is alive.

As I let this sink in, I noticed a peculiar reaction from Thorax; he looked like he was about to have a heart attack as his eyes bounced between Spike and Trojan, eyes growing wider each second. Suddenly, he settled for a goofy grin, as if he'd figured out some dirty secret.

Interesting.

Poor Thorax.

Don't get yourself eaten in the Everfree, Flash, you're needed as a protagonist in this story.

Also, don't pick a fight with Zecora, that's just a terrible idea.

Too late.

Snow, hmn. Maybe the pathos problem is at root a windigo problem?

Well, yes on the windigo for the Everfree issues at least.

Aaaaand Flash just got possessed. Good expedition into the forest, very successful.

With my sights set on the true enemy, I took into the air, preparing a surprise attack for the bastards.

They wouldn't know what hit them.

Huh. Maybe he won't kill anyone? Hopefully with Zecora there knowing he's possessed and pretty out of touch with reality they'll be able to keep him under control.

“These are Niekinis blades,” Trojan said. “They are crafted out of Niekinian alloy, which are impervious to the touch of magic. They will shatter shields, dispel illusions, and in some cases, grant resistance from a variety of mental spells as long as these are sheathed on your person.”

Now that would have been convenient for Flash to have before going into the Everfree to get possessed.

Elytra, the Overlord we had to face to protect Twilight and Ponyville, was Trojan’s daughter .

Woah.

Man, this is going to be a lot of dead changelings.

I've been wondering since I started to catch up what the change was going to be that would require the mature rating, and yeah that pretty much does.

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