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Actions have consequences even actions that seem so minor and harmless. One day the Princess of the Sun unwittingly lets a pebble fall down a mountain, blind to the avalanche she has unleashed.
Alone on a strange world a Monster searches for a purpose.
Currently looking for an editor.
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I picture first contact going like this:
6938626 Who knows what could happen
She has all that survival tech, and it starts her up with an empty stomach?
This is really actually very good. I look forward to more.
6938781 Well she is not actually in any risk of starving or dying of thirst for at least two or so months but she has never eaten anything and her stomach is empty.
6938960 Thank you!
I like it already!!!!
6939911 Good to hear!
My god I want more!!
6942735 Ask and you shall receive!
A pretty great first chapter, short and to the point with loads of progression.
I may have to Fav this!
Those stallions attacked AI first, no warning, didn't even try to converse at all! They pilfered through AI's pod and then attacked her when she came back to get her stuff, they deserved the beat down! Deadly monster?! What a load of crap. They were asked to find what dropped out of space not harm. What a crappy first day, I kind of want to give her a hug.
Let's do this.
Sixty-two
Pod's
Shortcut
Since it is the engines that you are talking about, you need "their effort"
.
.
And this is where I lost the will to look for typos. I not yet know about the rest of the story, but this chapter needs a minor editing run. Until that, it's absolutely needless to look for grammatical errors.
Also, minor nitpicking: If you have ice forming on your space vehiche, then something is leaking and you are kind of in a bad situation. There is no liquid/vaporized water floating in space to have it form on the capsule. Just a note.
Yup, you need someone to edit it for you. It's ...decent, but you can really feel the lack of an editing run (+lots of typos).
Back on the chapter: Why don't they use those chrystals as speartips? You just broke on to examine it lass (with unfeeling claws, not fingers, no less). Obsidian is also sharp and was used in spear and arrow tips, but was later switched out with other metals, since they were harder to break. And also, how did she immediately know it was steel or iron, and not some other alloy? That color is not exclusive.
She should easily compare those magical spears to human guns, as I'm pretty sure she have that knowledge. I would expect the moment a human sees one, they would just call it a gun, not a spear (or "strange weapon) .In my opinion anyways.
I might seem rude, but if the story was bad, I would just leave and wouldn't comment on it
6946041 I do need to get an editor at some point but for now this is just a minor project for me and whoever else to enjoy.
(The ship was coated in ice before it was sent off as extra protection against things like radiation and meteorites)
6944034 I am sure she would love a hug!
6942985 I am happy you are enjoying this!
6942812
Thank you!
You can make her figure out how something had kinetic energy without actual mass. Though if you have anti-gravity for humanity, then it should have been already estabilished (I think they both have the same problem, namely negative energy, which does not exist. Yet.)
6946175 "(with unfeeling claws, not fingers, no less)" I am not sure how well I explained it but her nerves are wired into the suit so she can feel though it.
"how did she immediately know it was steel or iron, and not some other alloy?" Educated guess but you do have a good point here.
"She should easily compare those magical spears to human guns, as I'm pretty sure she have that knowledge. I would expect the moment a human sees one, they would just call it a gun, not a spear (or "strange weapon) .In my opinion anyways." That is a fair point and while she does know about guns she does expects a few things from something before she would call it that, remember while she does have a ton of knowledge, she does not have any cultural background.
And on the subject of rudeness, a rude person clicks the dislike and leaves, a nice person tells me why my story is rubbish
Thanks for you comments!
6946210 I also remembered something else, that had me choke on my cornflakes:
Wut. Just wut. Trigonometry is a strange talent, especially, since you at max measure distance, not speed with it:D
Also, running at 50-60 km/h is about as fast as any Earth pony(as in planet Earth), who seem larger and more lithe, so I think she is faster than any land-bound pony (stocky legs don't give themselves to speed that much). Though I can be wrong here.
6946219 "natural talent in trigonometry that all pegasi had" I am sad more people have not commented on this I view it as my best joke in this story. Its both a slight joke and something that I expect Pegasi to be good at given there nature.
"since you at max measure distance, not speed with it:D"
Time and distance gives you speed :P
"Also, running at 50-60 km/h is about as fast as any Earth pony(as in planet Earth), who seem larger and more lithe, so I think she is faster than any land-bound pony (stocky legs don't give themselves to speed that much). Though I can be wrong here."
I would clock the faster earth ponies at around 70KPH with the fastest they could get to at around 80. But that pales compared to how fast a Pegasi can travel :P
6946245
Well, that's just it. Trigonometry is needed only for distance (and in a wide-arse white expanse it's a bit hard to measure), nothing else. But yes, by definition, speed is the amount of distance taken in a set amount of time. I think we can actually argue about who is wrong all eternity though. But since you also meant it as a joke, I'm not sure if I should say it should be changed. Should should.
Well... yes. But nothing really can, so
is not really relevant here. It think it should be "despite", since as a biped, that's a friggin high speed.
Oh, yeah, another thing! She had been shot and had her ribs broken then set in a short period of time. How did she not cry out for her first feeling of pain ever? Does she have some kind of "numbing" built in her body/armor?
6946284 Her lungs and throat are still full of fluid, she would cry out if she could but she needs to remove it first.
6946292 Oh. Gurglegurglegurgle (coughing reflex? Though you mentioned stuff flowing from her suit, so it wouldn't do any good). And before you finally let the poor lass out of her armor (or some magical evil horsey will rip it off her) have her at least check for any dangerous viruses/bacteria. A lot of HiE stories forget this.
Now that I think about it, fluid in lungs only work for so long before the oxygen runs out from there.
6946304 I have plans for that
6946372 Does she have some kind of bacteria, that is harmless to her, but kills almost everyone in equestria? And paves the way for the rule of Boulder, Tom and their kin? Oh, please, please, please!
6938626
Woman. Women is the plural
either "most likely", or simply "probably". Not "most probably"
Looooots and lots of missing (and a few unnecessary) commas.
You also should find someone to edit it for you a bit. I would offer my services, but then I remember that I have no idea how to write, and am also lazy as all hell, so at max I can do a quick run for typos:D
What would the owner think of that white-thick substance on the floor? :D Some random guys had a night of debauchery? :D
Also, what the hell were a cake doing in a barn? If it was poisoned/sleep-pilled, shouldn't the suit pick it up? Or was that a preparation for a party and our heroine just robbed Pinkie?
Seriously?
They live on a world filled with sentient, sapient species. Luna goes poking round in it's dreams. It is clearly an intelligent being. Or highly likely to be one at least.
And Luna's first thoughts are "Let me go and violate it's property rights and steal it's stuff! I'm sure Twilight would love one of whatever this possibly dangerous thing is!" Followed quickly by "I can't wait to come back and cage this creature so I can keep it as a pet!" Seriously?
If you're trying to make the ponies seem like immoral, moronic, xenophobic jerks, then congrats. If you're trying to keep them even slightly IC, well, you're kinda blowing it.
But please don't take that as too harsh a critique. AU's where the ponies are immoral, xenophobic jerks who then get the stuffing kicked out of them can be quite amusing.
Just please, try not to hit them with too big an idiot stick. Moronic characters with no common sense or foresight make for rather boring reading, whether they're heroes or villains.
6959238 Ponies have a rather different perception of intelligence then humans do. As for Luna taking the box, well she is old school, Monsters guard magical items, that is how it works.
The AI's story shall never be known
I find that so heart breaking
6959547 Will we have to wait another week before getting another chapter?
6960617 I will be working on this whenever I can, I am also looking for an editor but there should be at least one chapter a week.
6960634 Does her armor have or will have some kind of heads up display? Like something along the lines of iron man heads up display.
6964468 if she had some information she wanted to display then she could do it yes.
Congrats on the feature !!!
The plot thickens!
Far too many run-on sentences.
Another good chapter, but it wouldn't hurt to make the chapters longer.
Not bad for a first chapter
, but it could use some editing and/or revision. 
Here are some places where your writing could be improved upon. I also have to agree with that you do seem to write a lot of run-on sentences. Also, it would be sufficient to title the chapter as 'Chapter One' or 'Alone' and I would recommend the latter.
The construction that you're after is 'ill-suited' with a dash. You also use some unnecessary negatives and this whole sentence is kind of icky. I'd recommend something more like this:
"Princess Cadence was ill-suited to her job. It wasn't that she was or a poor leader or incompetent. On the contrary, she ruled her tiny empire with all the care and love she could muster which was quite considerable given that she was the Princess of Love."
Also, Princess Cadance is the ruler of an Empire, not a manager and therefore rules it rather than managing it.
You want 'were', not 'where'. Note the added commas and semicolon (in orange). You can tell that the commas belong there because if you remove the separate part 'funnily enough' then the sentence would still make sense. I also broke off the end bit into a separate sentence here, because it doesn't really seem to fit with the rest of the sentence. I get that she's doodling in the margins because she's something of an artist, supposedly. However, that doesn't have much to do with her taking notes or the ponies having questionable poses.
You shouldn't need to do this thing 'purple Alicorn' and 'Alicorn', etc. That example could actually be confusing if the reader somehow missed 'purple'. It should be sufficient to use their names or simple pronouns like she and her. And if it isn't you might want to consider rewriting the sentence. In addition, hooves can't shout for attention, which means that the subject (the person or thing doing the action) is missing. You could, and maybe should, split the first sentence here into two separate sentences because they are essentially independent clauses that can stand on their own:
E.g.
"It was quite a pleasant surprise when a hoof banged on her bedroom door shouting for her attention and cutting the purple Alicorn off"
"It did not take long for the Alicorn to jump upon this opportunity."
In fact, if you split that sentence like this then the problem with purple Alicorn/Alicorn becomes obvious. That is, it would now be unclear which Alicorn is jumping on the opportunity. We'd have to infer that Cadence was the one who would be happy about an interruption. Taken in isolation here, we might not even know whether it was Twilight or Cadence being summoned by knocking on their respective bedroom door.
P.S.
I sincerely hope Princess Cadence isn't just sleeping around with whichever guard is handy at the moment while Shining Armor is gone...
6946175
Obsidian also breaks into nasty sharp pieces and can't be forged. I do agree on identifying the metal as steel or iron. It's clearly a metal since you're not going to be able to shape rock that precisely or make it smooth.
I'm not sure the character here is technically human. She? is more like a human shaped blob with a massive pile of information in her cranium, plus a strange ability to manipulate what is presumably a sort of exo skeleton. It's not even clear how she can see if her face is basically a flat surface.
Um, technically they attacked it first, so it's hardly a 'Monster'. The dogs were more justified in their reaction and behavior here...
Arcane microbes... Seriously?! You shouldn't capitalize the word arcane here. I hope there's some explanation of all this forthcoming though, because if there are magic sucking microbes all over the place, shouldn't everyone be in danger?
Oh god, Twilight Sparkle writing the Tax Code.
What a horrifying thought...
More when?
I find this one strangely interesting, I never really had a soft spot for Sci-Fi but this seemed to change my mind.
I welcome your tale to my library. I hope you can keep me entertained with it before I decide to erase it from my library.
Other than that, I wish you much luck with writing. And I'll be sure to check on it from time to time.
7227086 I am happy you have enjoyed my work! Science fiction to me has always been about looking at our culture, beliefs and species as a whole through the looking glass of the imposable, what we can be, what we will be and what we will never be.
7227105
Wise words indeed, I second that statement.
7011664
I'm sure he'd be fine if it was just the mares. He'd be glad if he got to join when he got back.
7306498
Eh. I don't think so. Somehow I doubt Cadence would be thrilled if he was just okay with that. In fact that might imply that he'd been sleeping around, maybe even with the same mare.
...Guyver?