Cloudsdale is an old city, filled with ruins and ancient architecture.
Some of it is kept in good condition for historical purposes. Some of it isn't
Ponies will sometimes walk by and wonder "why was that left to crumble like this?"
None of them want to know the answer.
What happened to the descriptor? I don't know! It disappeared and was replaced by my name for some reason.
Anyway this is my first story ever, criticism is welcomed/demanded, please enjoy/be disturbed and other such things.
Chapters (1)
Cool story
hoping to see more stories in the future 
6817135 Awh thank you ^.^
I give it a 6/10.
A lot better than some of the stories I see on here from time to time.
Characterization is good, but the dialogue feels disjointed at times.
The pacing of it was too quick, you should add more detail and slow it down a bit. An audience usually favors multi-chapter fics with long length chapters, keep that in mind.
Some grammar issues here and there, nothing that can't be fixed with a little editing though.
Last but not least, the plot felt copy-and-paste. I'm guessing you favor the macabre and like writing horror stories. If that's the case, use your imagination! I'm sure you'll come up with something.
If you need any ideas, I write lots of horror. You can always follow me and hit me up whenever you need some inspiration or an opinion. I got lots of 'em.
6819366 I appreciate that ^.^
Honestly I knew there were problems, enormous ones, not long after I posted but wanted to have it looked at the way it was.
Yeah the plot was pretty much the standard. I had an idea and wanted to see how it went. Unfortunately when the idea is "huh... Wooden Toaster sure does sound like a robot... Hmmmmm" then there isn't much to work with.
I did the part with the machine first and decided to flesh out my characters second. Obviously I should've slowed down a bit here.
Just to know, did I do a good job of characterising the setting too? Or at least passable? Also which of the characters stood out most to you? I already have a personal favourite and am considering doing more with that character. Just want to know what my readers think.
I like the fact you incorporated the song "Rainbow Factory" in the fic. I felt I knew Night Blitz the most backstory-wise, while Fire Fast was the one I knew most about in the situation.
Length of a fic doesn't matter too much, but more details were needed in tems of thoughts and feelings.
Dialogue was ok, but felt out-of-place at times.
Next time, maybe try to portrey more of how the character's feel in a situation.
Overall, good job. Deserves a like.
6819385
I suppose Night Blitz, since he has the most backstory and he reminds me a little of myself in a couple of ways.
6819591 Honestly the story was borne of me listening to the song. Started imagining a weird machine. I'm a big fan of rusty old piles of crap being the monsters of stories.
I agree honestly. Went too fast with this. Needed to slow down and imagine what everyone is feeling.
I may just redo this entire thing at some point. Flesh out my made up characters, figure more out about them. It's always good to know your characters before you brutally murder them.
6819606 Now that you've brought it up my brain is thinking up more stuff about him
6819815 but of course! Knowing about the character (backstory, personality etc) is vital, especially if you are to kill them.
There's a fanfic called "Rainbow Factory" if you were unaware of one. It's a good fanfic, and I'd reconmend you read it to get some ideas plot-wise and character-wise. (link to the story on FiMFiction provided)