Filler Fillies
“So wait, what’s this party for?”
Pinkie grinned the manic grin that spoke only of glee. “Why, silly filly, don’t you remember? It’s...” She raised her hoof. “SPIDER! APPRECIATION! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”
“...Spider what?”
“Spider appreciation day. In actuality the holiday was commissioned by Baron Warpweave in an attempt to show off his large collection of foreign arthropods during the early neoclasssical period, and was originally named The Festival Of The Small, but after a visiting noble was stung by a particularly poisonous scorpion the holiday became much more low key. However Celestia has yet to see it revoked, mostly due to the paperwork it would take to get rid of a celebration founded during that time, and while it remains obscure it is still technically a holiday though it has been simplified from its original format.”
Twilight Sparkle blinked. “....you’ve been reading my ‘Holidays through the ages’ collection haven’t you?”
“Maaaaaaaaybeeeeeeeeeeee.” The party pony gave her a shifty look. “I have to get inspiration somewhere.”
"And... you honestly think that ponies would attend a party for spiders... in the middle of spring."
"Fluttershy said she's coming! Which means all her stal--I mean, admirers will also be there. That's five stallions and three mares already!"
"...I don't even want to know how you know that."
The party pony grinned mischievously. "You're up to three stallions and four mares."
"LALALA THIS IS ME PRACTICING MY SINGING FOR SCIENCE LALALA LA LAAAAAA!"
"Suit yourself." Pinkie shrugged. "But it would be weird for poor poor Fluttershy to be all alone in a room with her admirers, various arachnids, and all that luscious cake. Who knows what could happen... if they realized... what they had...?"
The unicorn shuddered. "PINKIE! Who are these ponies?! We, we have to report them!"
"I Pinkie promised not to reveal their identity. Besides, they're harmless. They're all too shy to make a move."
The librarian stared at the grinning baker, horror plain on her features.
"......AGH! FINE! I--I'll be there, just to make sure nopony hurts her."
Instantly Pinkie squealed "THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME! Now your stalkers and Fluttershy's stalkers will mix and you won't be able to tell which is which!"
"PINKIE! STALKERS ARE NOT A GOOD THING!"
"Oh, everypony has stalkers. They're harmless." The party pony giggled. "I have twenty three, and the best part is NONE OF THEM know I know they're following me."
Twilight stared at her for a long while.
"....you're just making up the stalker thing, aren't you."
"DUH!"
"Why would you do that?!"
"To make you feel more attractive!"
"I...." The unicorn blushed. "What?"
"Twilight, Twilight, Twilight.... Twilight. Twily. Twi. Lighter. Sparky. Sparkler. Twispark. Sparky Twily. Lady Twilight Born of the Moon's Sparkle, archmage of Ponyville and purveyor of ancient tomes--"
A purple hoof was shoved into her mouth. "Pinkie? Could you get to the point please?"
The party pony nodded. "Oofhay Hyli, Hi'll hoph."
Reluctantly, the librarian allowed the baker to speak again.
"My point, Twilight is simple: There is a madness to my method, but there is also a method to my madness."
"And what, praytell, would this method be?"
"Oh, I'm just trying to boost this thing to a thousand words."
The unicorn gave her friend a wary look. "You're... trying to say a thousand words?"
"No, I'm trying to make sure we have at least a thousand words before we hit publishing."
"...are we in some sort of... I don't know, serial reality novel you're writing?"
The baker opened her mouth, closed it, tilted her head, and then laughed out loud. "HAHAHAhahaHA! YES! That actually works! I'm totally using that excuse from now on."
"So all this time you've been behaving weird for a book?!"
"No, I behave weird because I'm me. I've only just started writing a book." She leaned in conspiratorially. "Guess who the mane characters are."
"...Us six? The girls, I mean."
"I wish! No no no, I'm aiming for a younger demographic."
"...the cutie mark crusaders?"
"Bingo!" Pinkie bopped Twilight's muzzle. "Right on the nose!"
The unicorn scrunched up her face for a second. "But.... what does this conversation have to do with them?"
"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! It's filler!"
"So you're saying I'm filler."
"Well, filler that three stallions and four mares are very attracted to, but yes."
Twilight blanched. "You said you made that up!"
Pinkie grinned. "I did! That doesn't mean it's not real!"
"Pinkie, you can't just imagine up things into, into reality! And that's unrealistic anyway, why would more mares be attracted to me then stallions?!"
"Don't ask me to explain the demographics, I just write the story."
The librarian took a deep breath, ready to issue off another retort... when she took a moment to look at the grinning pink face in front of her. Something about the situation seemed off, something unusual. She'd ignored the feeling because of who she was talking to, but now, as she ran through the conversation in her head, she realized that it was more then the typical headache she got when dealing with Pinkie Pie.
Her mouth formed into a sly grin. "Has this whole conversation been an elaborate prank, miss Pie?"
"...darn." Pinkie pouted. "I didn't even get to the punchline."
Twilight rolled her eyes, but lifted up the party pony's chin. "Well why don't you go ahead and say it? All that work and no reward doesn't seem fair to me."
"What, out of context?"
"Just try it."
"...Okay. Ahem: 'Oh what tangled webs we weave when we write without love!'"
The two of them stared at each other for a long moment.
Then, finally, Twilight giggled. "Webs! Spider appreciation day! I get it!"
"You... do?"
"Ye-he-he-es! Hahaha! Tangled webs, that is hilarious!" The librarian snorted.
"I... I knew you'd like it! I crafted the joke specifically for you!" Pinkie bounced up and down. "You know what this calls for? A Twilight-Liked-My-Joke party!"
"But aren't you throwing that spider appreciation day party?" Twilight asked. "It seems like an awful lot of effort to buy all that stuff you have in your saddlebags and not throw the right party."
"Oh... fine. I'll throw that instead!" The baker bounced away. "Tomorrow, don't forget! This is going to be funfunfunfunFUN!"
Across the street, a stallion watched the pair separate. He took a moment to glance down at the paper, memorizing the lunar patterns predicted for the week.
"Hmmmm. Fun indeed..."
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That was the single most random chapter I've ever read anywhere I enjoyed every second of it.
....What.
Still waiting for Scootaloo to be reveled to be a Changeling.
Man, it's been so long since this updated, I had to go back and reread the previous chapters to remind myself what was going on.
It did not help.
Pinkie please stop before all of reality collapses around us...
Few words can describe how I feel about this being continued. Words such as: WOOHOO, FUCK YEAH *runs in a circle* WOO! *happy dance*
*cough*
I'm very happy to see this continued, as I am for everything that you've written so far.
2009896 You, Sir/Ma'am/Gentlething, need to read this, if that is the case. It's the most ramndom thing I've managed to find. The fact that my brain broke while reading it is just one point in it's favor.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CONTINUE WRITING THIS IT'S BUCKING AWESOME!
please please write more
I'm getting a serious Hitchhikers vibe from this story...
"but there is also a method to my madness."
Oh Hamlet.
2013281
He just revealed it in another story, she's part fairy.
...Oops.
Did I just spoil it for you?
I just came over from "Winds of Change" to check for an update. You see, someone, who was not the author, claimed that the Scootaloo in this fic was part Fae. As this was news to me, I rushed over here to see if I had missed an update. I had not. It looks like there is still hope for my "Scootaloo is a Changeling" theory.3013019
Yeah, I feel *****ed over right about now.
Oh Luna bucking damn it to Tartarus! I had in fact read that author's note, but had not realized at the time that he was the author of both fics.
3012540
That is a good thing, one would hope.
3013037
Don't worry about it.
...I was hoping she'd be a changeling too...
3013174
Being Fae doesn't quite remove the possibility of her being a changling. Before MLP, Changling was a term used in folklore to refer to a fae child that replaced a human child to be raised by a human family. I think the story Backwards Through the Mirror covered both types here.
3013174>>3013398
FanOfMostEverything mentioned that the Faeries can be real Jerkasses at times, which reminded me where MLP got the name Changelings from to begin with. So I rushed over here... only to find you had come to the same conclusion on your own.
Meh.
Anyway, still hoping for Scootaling, now with 50% more Unseelie angst!
3013996
You know...
Faeries are also often seen in culture as in association with childhood/agelessness (thank you mythology, and thank you Peter Pan), so it's possible Masterweaver made her half Fairy and maybe half changeling to please the fanboys, just to have all three crusaders eternally young (a robot wouldn't age, story of the blanks makes it clear that the zombies of Sunnytown don't, and a being whose nature was to be ageless certainly wouldn't) as a sort of irony for their desire to mature (get their cutie marks)
3013037 If you're talking about me, I only made that claim because Masterweaver said this:
What other story could he be talking about?
3014118
Read the edited post. I had somehow not realized that Masterweaver wrote both fics. In short, I had a brain fart. A smelly one, apparently. Let us all move on and wait for Steel Spirit- er, I mean, Curiosity Maintenance Crew to update. ...and Amalgam, of course.
3014344 Yeah, he's got a bunch of in-progress stories to work on. Not to mention all of the Tumblr projects he's part of. There's Fluttershy reads Moonstuck, Pone, a collaboration one that's based off of the Becoming Ponies universe, and Ask Steel Sweetie. He's stretched twenty different ways from Sunday, I'm surprised he's able to get anything done.
3014470
...I was actually unaware of his Tumblr work, up to and including Ask Steel Sweetie.
Anyway, thanks for the 411 in that regard. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to wait in vain for Wanderer D to update The Three Sisters: Extended Family. I don't know how many irons he has in the fire, but it must be at least as many as Masterweaver here.
Sigh. People with cool ideas never have time to write them.
This was weak.
I'm well aware that this chapter is called Filler Fillies but still.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK!
This is the funniest chapter I've read in a story yet!
It was cool how you integrated the story with Steel Soul, though in that story, the other crusaders found out about Sweetie Bot under different circumstances. Now I'm going to have to peruse your other stories to see if there's an origin story for Apple Ghoul. ;-) Please continue to write!
Aww, it's stopped... It was nice, though!
I'm shipping Pinkie X Twi now...