“So wait, what’s this party for?”
Pinkie grinned the manic grin that spoke only of glee. “Why, silly filly, don’t you remember? It’s...” She raised her hoof. “SPIDER! APPRECIATION! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”
“...Spider what?”
“Spider appreciation day. In actuality the holiday was commissioned by Baron Warpweave in an attempt to show off his large collection of foreign arthropods during the early neoclasssical period, and was originally named The Festival Of The Small, but after a visiting noble was stung by a particularly poisonous scorpion the holiday became much more low key. However Celestia has yet to see it revoked, mostly due to the paperwork it would take to get rid of a celebration founded during that time, and while it remains obscure it is still technically a holiday though it has been simplified from its original format.”
Twilight Sparkle blinked. “....you’ve been reading my ‘Holidays through the ages’ collection haven’t you?”
“Maaaaaaaaybeeeeeeeeeeee.” The party pony gave her a shifty look. “I have to get inspiration somewhere.”
"And... you honestly think that ponies would attend a party for spiders... in the middle of spring."
"Fluttershy said she's coming! Which means all her stal--I mean, admirers will also be there. That's five stallions and three mares already!"
"...I don't even want to know how you know that."
The party pony grinned mischievously. "You're up to three stallions and four mares."
"LALALA THIS IS ME PRACTICING MY SINGING FOR SCIENCE LALALA LA LAAAAAA!"
"Suit yourself." Pinkie shrugged. "But it would be weird for poor poor Fluttershy to be all alone in a room with her admirers, various arachnids, and all that luscious cake. Who knows what could happen... if they realized... what they had...?"
The unicorn shuddered. "PINKIE! Who are these ponies?! We, we have to report them!"
"I Pinkie promised not to reveal their identity. Besides, they're harmless. They're all too shy to make a move."
The librarian stared at the grinning baker, horror plain on her features.
"......AGH! FINE! I--I'll be there, just to make sure nopony hurts her."
Instantly Pinkie squealed "THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME! Now your stalkers and Fluttershy's stalkers will mix and you won't be able to tell which is which!"
"PINKIE! STALKERS ARE NOT A GOOD THING!"
"Oh, everypony has stalkers. They're harmless." The party pony giggled. "I have twenty three, and the best part is NONE OF THEM know I know they're following me."
Twilight stared at her for a long while.
"....you're just making up the stalker thing, aren't you."
"DUH!"
"Why would you do that?!"
"To make you feel more attractive!"
"I...." The unicorn blushed. "What?"
"Twilight, Twilight, Twilight.... Twilight. Twily. Twi. Lighter. Sparky. Sparkler. Twispark. Sparky Twily. Lady Twilight Born of the Moon's Sparkle, archmage of Ponyville and purveyor of ancient tomes--"
A purple hoof was shoved into her mouth. "Pinkie? Could you get to the point please?"
The party pony nodded. "Oofhay Hyli, Hi'll hoph."
Reluctantly, the librarian allowed the baker to speak again.
"My point, Twilight is simple: There is a madness to my method, but there is also a method to my madness."
"And what, praytell, would this method be?"
"Oh, I'm just trying to boost this thing to a thousand words."
The unicorn gave her friend a wary look. "You're... trying to say a thousand words?"
"No, I'm trying to make sure we have at least a thousand words before we hit publishing."
"...are we in some sort of... I don't know, serial reality novel you're writing?"
The baker opened her mouth, closed it, tilted her head, and then laughed out loud. "HAHAHAhahaHA! YES! That actually works! I'm totally using that excuse from now on."
"So all this time you've been behaving weird for a book?!"
"No, I behave weird because I'm me. I've only just started writing a book." She leaned in conspiratorially. "Guess who the mane characters are."
"...Us six? The girls, I mean."
"I wish! No no no, I'm aiming for a younger demographic."
"...the cutie mark crusaders?"
"Bingo!" Pinkie bopped Twilight's muzzle. "Right on the nose!"
The unicorn scrunched up her face for a second. "But.... what does this conversation have to do with them?"
"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! It's filler!"
"So you're saying I'm filler."
"Well, filler that three stallions and four mares are very attracted to, but yes."
Twilight blanched. "You said you made that up!"
Pinkie grinned. "I did! That doesn't mean it's not real!"
"Pinkie, you can't just imagine up things into, into reality! And that's unrealistic anyway, why would more mares be attracted to me then stallions?!"
"Don't ask me to explain the demographics, I just write the story."
The librarian took a deep breath, ready to issue off another retort... when she took a moment to look at the grinning pink face in front of her. Something about the situation seemed off, something unusual. She'd ignored the feeling because of who she was talking to, but now, as she ran through the conversation in her head, she realized that it was more then the typical headache she got when dealing with Pinkie Pie.
Her mouth formed into a sly grin. "Has this whole conversation been an elaborate prank, miss Pie?"
"...darn." Pinkie pouted. "I didn't even get to the punchline."
Twilight rolled her eyes, but lifted up the party pony's chin. "Well why don't you go ahead and say it? All that work and no reward doesn't seem fair to me."
"What, out of context?"
"Just try it."
"...Okay. Ahem: 'Oh what tangled webs we weave when we write without love!'"
The two of them stared at each other for a long moment.
Then, finally, Twilight giggled. "Webs! Spider appreciation day! I get it!"
"You... do?"
"Ye-he-he-es! Hahaha! Tangled webs, that is hilarious!" The librarian snorted.
"I... I knew you'd like it! I crafted the joke specifically for you!" Pinkie bounced up and down. "You know what this calls for? A Twilight-Liked-My-Joke party!"
"But aren't you throwing that spider appreciation day party?" Twilight asked. "It seems like an awful lot of effort to buy all that stuff you have in your saddlebags and not throw the right party."
"Oh... fine. I'll throw that instead!" The baker bounced away. "Tomorrow, don't forget! This is going to be funfunfunfunFUN!"
Across the street, a stallion watched the pair separate. He took a moment to glance down at the paper, memorizing the lunar patterns predicted for the week.
"Hmmmm. Fun indeed..."