When a Yellow Power ring comes to Equestria from the depths of space and kidnaps Twilight Sparkle to become it's wielder, Celestia must put aside past grudges and call upon the aide of the Green Lanterns. But with Equestria so far out in the Frontier Regions, the Guardians cannot send a Lantern out to help, and so, instead, redirect one of their rings mid-transit to begin the selection process on Equestria.
Rated: Teen for some violence, mild language, and on page deaths. GL: TAS doesn't pull many punches, so I don't intend to either.
Shipping Warning: Contains Gilda/Dash for story purposes and the Author's satisfaction.
Colored Text Warning: This story makes use of Colored Text, and will probably do so in every chapter. I advise the 'Dark' background for best effect.
This first chapter is almost 50% 'close but not that closely, more like cousins' related snippets written over a few days, with the other 50% (the Rainbow Dash and Gilda Part) being written more or less all at once. Later chapters should follow more the structure of the later half of this chapter.
I have every expectation that this chapter will receive, and needs, rewrites and edits. Or as I like to call them... love.
Shine on.
Well, so far I like it, but have some reservations.
Pros:
Very inventive, well written, and decent fight scenes. It's action packed and does feel like the property you are crossing over with, which is always good.
Cons:
Needed to spend more time with the characters, building their development, and less time on the fights. I think that this chapter could be broken up into three shorter ones quite well, as there are several great cliffhanger points and logical stopping points within, and then extended with internal monologue, memories, and background information for those with little association with the Lanterns.
Overall:
Good showing, I will be following it to see where it goes.
Gusta.fapit.net/v/1206/moar.jpg.html
Thanks for the comments!
hmmm I would say that Fluttershy would of made a better Blue lantern whose rings are fueled with compassion and kindness
Actually, Blue is Hope... I don't want to spoil who'll be getting hope.
Indigo is Compassion, but their recruitment is kind of weird, and quite likely to change in the Animated Series from the Comics, so I'm going to try and stay away from them until I can tell for sure. Yellow lanterns are pretty straight forward and I doubt they'll be changed much, but even then I'll likely only visit Twilight off and on throughout the story.
498062 As I already said, the first half of this chapter is collected from a number of snippets that myself and a few others tossed around before I tied them to a larger, much more coherent narrative that starts around the middle of this chapter. I wasn't quite sure how best to split it all up (I'm not the best editor
)
I can, however, promise that later chapters will most likely resemble the later half of this one, with longer 'snippets' between breaks, more dialogue and character thought, and in general higher quality.
Ugh! This comment system is taking some getting used to...
498351
Blue is actually hope.
Compassion is Indigo, and considering those essentially brainwash the wearers, not really a good choice for Fluttershy. Love might work, in the same way Wonder Woman was picked in the comics, but that was a nonstandard situation.
There's a few minor spelling and punctuation issues I noticed. You left out question marks in a couple places- where Celestia contacted the Guardians, and Rainbow Dash asking "what must I say." Also, when you have Celestia talking about the Yellow ring, it should be "vile," not "vial"
And maybe redo the first bit that's from Zoxtur's viewpoint- following a Green Lantern through a spatial anomaly and getting lost was more a way of getting a Red Lantern to Equestria in a standalone snippet I tossed out than something that feels like fits in the story.
I think the thing I'm most satisfied with this chapter is the 'Lantern Training' scene at the start of this chapter. Probably half the fun of writing this fic so far is just how creative I can get with the Green Lantern rings. The really are the best Superpower.
501644
I dunno....Spiderman is preeetttttty Boss....
Saint walker meeting Fluttershy
...
!!! This fic is awesome. Your training scene was awesome. I would love to have Rainbow meet Kilowog though. As stated earlier, having Saint Walker and Fluttershy meet is an awesome idea because he's the right kind of person to train Fluttershy and who knows maybe she'll end up a Hybrid lantern like Hal for a short while. I'm loving this fic not just for the crossover but because it really is well written. So excited. I can't hide it and I don't want to. 
502659 i agree with you. If i had to choose between a power ring or to be spider-man...it'd be spider-man, just cause he's my favorite super hero...and a is pretty boss
502724
Spiderman is cool! He shoots webs and doesn't afraid of anything!
I'm going insane without the ability to bounce ideas off people...
Definitely liking this so far, and that's speaking as a Green Lantern fan as well as a Brony. I see you're using stuff from the new animated series(Red lanterns retain intelligence and don't drop dead if their rings are removed, frontier green lanters, etc.) which is probably a good choice, since it gives you more freedom to do things with since that show isn't very far along yet. Also APPLAUD your choice of pony GL. Dash was an obvious choice, but I've always thought Fluttershy was prime corps material, and am glad to see I'm not alone. Poor Ch'p though, he always seems to take a lot of punishment in modern GL stories. At least you didn't hit him with a yellow truck...(No seriously, that was how he died in the OFFICIAL comics)
Only thing I'm worried about is Twilight, since I think it'd be hard to keep her in the Yellow Lanterns/Sinestro Corps once she found out exactly what the rest of them were like, since in the comics just about all of them are cold blooded killers, but we're only one chapter in so we'll see on that.
506427
Well... if you'll remember, Paralax (and thus, by my assumption, whatever leaders or servants are in the Yellow Lanterns) took quite the sadistic glee in turning relatively decent people into horrible monsters. And aside from maybe Pinkie Pie, Twi is the most unstable member of the Mane Cast.
>.>
It's a bit of a writing fetish I have of taking my favorite characters and putting through hell.
And yes. If I had to compare Fluttershy and Dash to well known Lanterns. Fluttershy is a bit like Kyle Raynor, while Dash is a mix of Hal Jordan and Guy Gardner.
Heh, if Dash thinks Ch'P is a hardass when it comes to training, she should consider herself lucky she doesn't have to go through Kilowog's boot camp.
Agree with everyone else, Fluttershy and Saint Walker teamup is awesome. Looks like he's doing his 'mysterious mentor' thing from the animated series though.
506483
Heh, with a definite emphasis on the Guy part.
506486
Who said anything about Dash not having to go through Kilowog's boot camp?
Must... Argue...
502724 502659 Nah. Having a power ring would give you the ability to fly and shoot lasers and make giant pony constructs. I'd like to see Spiderman do that.
But I gotta say, one of the best crossovers I've read so far. And I haven't read that many crossovers
But what would happen if Rainbow Dash and Hal Jordan teamed up?
where are pink, blue, orange, indigo, and white? So many colors and so little time...
509322
I don't intend to do more than just Green, Red, and Yellow to start with. Possibly saving other colors for a Sequel if I get that far.
There are two reasons. The first is trying to sort out who's who and who gets what. The second is I can't be sure what the differences are between the colors in the Comics and in the Animated Series. While I can (and will) stretch, I'd like to see how they work before I use them very much.
512701
I can understand that. Too many might get it overly confusing... and then you have the avatars of each wavelength of the E-spectrum, who are downright awesome/freakish. For a shortcut through that, you should know the following:
Wikipedia lists an entire emotional color spectrum, and
Another brony by the DA name of Cynos-Zilla did images for all of them... which is ironic. Just check out his gallery.
513966
Also, it looks like there might be some differences between the Emotional Spectrum in the comics, and the currently airing animated show. As this story is partially based from the show...
516023 Drat. The comics always have more detail behind them. Oh well, not much to do about it, unless you count meeting both halfway.
518141
While this is true, Detail also leaves less space regarding what I can and can't do with the story. For example, Frontier Space gives me a nice huge part of the universe to play around in without the influence of the rest of the Lantern Corps. It also means the characters can and will run into things that nobody has ANY clue about if I so decide. I also can read in details that I personally like, such as how it's been hinted that, with the Red Lanterns at least, there are more people in the organization than just ring bearers, with troops, pilots, medics, clergy, etc all working to keep these organizations afloat and handle the little stuff.
And finally: The Comics are about 30% Space Opera, 70% Comic Book Superhero give or take depending on the era and writer. The Animated Series flips that. I write Sci Fi. I read Sci Fi. I know Sci Fi. So I'm definitely writing this more as Space Opera.
That said, next chapter will be more comic book superhero than space opera.
518193 lol, noted. I stil think it would be nice to see all the colors of the proverbial rainbow... or even dash with all the rings. There's a real sonic rainboom.
Not quite as sure about the later part of this chapter. Ordinarily I'd be putting it up on a forum I frequent to let it get picked at first, but that's currently down and I don't know when it'll be back up, and I've let this stew for longer than I'd like anyway.
Feel free to critique and pick it apart.
Shine On.
Not much to say, except pitch-perfect Fluttershy.
518929
Thanks. Heh... I was afraid I wasn't getting her quite right. I'm much more comfortable writing dialogue and thoughts for Dash (and Gilda) than I am for any of the other characters because they're... well... pretty dang straightforward. With the others I'm usually afraid that all I'm doing is writing what I'm needing someone to say with a variation on how they say it.
Should I feel sorry for the people in the way of the beasts? Because I don't feel sorry for them.
So, I just watched the latest episode of GL:TAS.
I have no idea how I'll work the Star Saphires into this story, if at all. They aren't exactly Gilda's thing... and I don't know how their whole view would work with lesbians anyway.
519543 Maybe let Fluttershy take that ring? or get BOTH? it half makes sense, since she's perfect for the color... but she already has the green one.
IDK if getting more than one ring is a good idea... it's kinda scary-level power. Then again, imagine all of the mane 6 getting all the rings... that would be ironically perfect, considering the rainbow theme they have with the elements of harmony.
I worry about when they run across Twi again though. Really.
Am I the only one who thinks Fluttershy is able to wield any ring but orange?
Coz that's what it seems like
THIS This chapter demonstrates exactly why Flutershy would be an awesome GL.
Rarity might make a good Star Sapphire. Or, assuming there even can be males ones, Spike?
522710
Really? I thought Rarity would be more of an Orange Lantern due to her obsession with gems.
522728
I suppose, but was thinking more along the line of her getting her dreams smashed by Blueblood. Plus, unless she wrestles the lantern away from Larfleeze, the only other known way for her to become an Orange lantern normally is to be...absorbed, and I don't wanna see that happen to her...
Nice. I'm assuming the planet Walker was referring to was Mogo, meaning it's pretty close to where the canon GL:TAS takes place- though butterflies mean Hal and Kilowog might not go investigate.
My only quibble is that "HOLY CRAP" seems a little OOC for Dash to say. Perhaps something like "SWEET CELESTIA!" or even just "WOAH!"
And I can't wait until SB is back up so we can do more proper discussion.
522909
It is Mogo, and the butterflies aren't going to be quite that big (yet).
I leave it up to your imagination just how much of a double trap Walker was setting for the slavers. I've got this weird sense in my head that says Walker's a bit like Celestia in the whole 'Good Guy who twists people into doing what they need for good to come about'
522710
You probably notice that of the Mane 6, both pegasi are the Green Lanterns. There's actually a 'headcanon' reason for this. One of the most important attributes for a Green Lantern to have, possibly even more important than Willpower, is Selflessness. The ability to completely set aside what you want and desire, even your safety and life, for the sake of others' well being.
For a while now I've had it in my head that, of all the Pony tribes, it is the Pegasi who have the most extreme case of this. While they certainly can be selfish to some extent, they tend to manage to do even that in a strangely selfless way (Dash playing hero for praise, for example). Throw in there the constant hints of the warrior race they once were, and Pegasi are on the whole pretty good stock for selecting a Green Lantern from. (Then again, all of this is just in comparison to the other Equestrian races. Just like humans and human culture, Ponies in general are the sort who make damn good green lanterns. I could go even further along that line of thought, but I don't know where I'd put a discussion thread around here.
)
522967
Heh. As I said earlier, I'm writing this story mainly as a Space Opera, but damn it all if I'm not going to have Fluttershy be a comic book superhero for a chapter or two more, with Saint Walker tagging along.
"As they once again entered the clearing, Rainbow Dash once more found herself speechless. Not because it was just the second time seeing the space ship. But because emblazoned on the side, just above the symbols of Equestria and the Green Lantern Corps, was an image of her, creating a Sonic Rainboom, with the worlds 'Emerald Harmony' written in an artistic font."
ITYM "Words"
Well... I'd say that slaver was unknowingly stupid, setting the beasts on Equestria's primary beast mistress....
I still think Fluttershy should be either a Star Sapphire or an Indigo Lantern.
We see the Indigo Tribe, comic anyways, i'm behind on the animated series, KILL a GL in their first appearance. Fluttershy's NOT an Indigo tribe member. Gilda as Rage? Yeah. That fits well. Dash and Fluttershy as GLs? Awesome.
Fluttershy teaming up with Saint Walker, Blue Lantern? Oh ho ho.....NOW we're getting somewhere.
Add in Mogo for a trio of two GLs and a Blue, and the awesomeness and hilarity will be utterly PRICELESS.
"(Fluttershy flies down to help the rest of the mane cast as they're surrounded) Hello girls. Sorry i'm late. It took a little longer than we thought for us to get here."
"Dash (blinks) Us? Who's us?"
"(Walker lands neatly beside Fluttershy, huge green beam lances out to blast their opponents as Mogo appears in orbit) Miss Dash. I am Saint Walker. That is Mogo, another Green Lantern of the Frontier. He does not go to Oa often..."
I HAVE NO CLUE WHATS GOING ON BECOUSE I NEVER WATCHED THE MOVIE BUT I CAN TELL YOU THIS
I LIKE IT
hay can you get twilight back into the story she has me the most interested right now granted i have no clue what the ring colors mean other than red and that's because all reds are raging (ooh twi vs dash to get twi to send her ring for a replacement due to the fact she thinks she lost or she refuses to hurt her friend(like she doesn't know its dash but refuses to fight and dash wacks her a good one but not fatally. idk im ranting its your story, its late, and i dont care about sleep so seea)
I have no fucking clue what's happening (not really Twilight has been abducted by the Yellow lantern, Gildas gone to kill the Red Lanterns, Flutters is doing some shiz and RD is laying in a hospital bed
)
I Love it!!
Need update *starts gurgling like a zombie*
This should be interesting, Saint Walker, leader of the Blue Lanterns, nice.
Nice, nice, never get Fluttershy agry or she will go nuts on you, and Flutterrage = Oh Crap for whoever she's mad at. I can imagine the Blue Lanterns using Mogo as their base of Operations, their Blue Lantern battery and all the Blue Rings would make Mogo all but invincible, he already is a sentient planet and can control everythingon his surface, but he also has a GL ring, add the power added by Saint Walker and his Corps... Awesome.