As Woona continued to carefully make her way west, she noticed a few status updates from Alphys regarding something Chara identified as an anime, and decided to ignore them as she had no real basis on which to judge. As she continued, however, someone called out to her, "Hey, you! Stop!"
Confused, she turned around, seeing two black armored, bunny-eared royal guards racing up to her. "Uh...is there a problem, officers?" she asked worriedly.
"We've, like, received an anonymous tip about a human wandering around disguised as a pony," the vocal guard replied. "They said they were wandering around Hotland right now." Noticing Woona getting worried, the guard shrugged. "I know it seems scary, but it's nothing to worry about. We'll take you someplace safe..." He paused as his companion gestured towards Woona. "What? A pony...you think she's the human in disguise-"
Woona stared as two holes in reality closed where the two guards had been. "...I did not know I could shortcut other people..." she murmured. "Or that shortcuts looked so scary from the outside..."
Where did you send them? Chara asked worriedly.
"Well...I thought they needed new orders, so..."
At the border between Waterfall and Hotland, Undyne slowly rose to her feet, lifting two figures off of her. "01...02...care to explain why you landed on me?!" she roared out. She blinked as she noticed something. "02, why are you out of uniform? And 01, why are you staring?"
02 shrugged helplessly. 01 began to stammer, unable to tear his eyes away from 02's exposed muscles. "Well, er, I was, uh...well..."
Undyne facepalmed. "Urg! Just make out already, you two!" she snapped.
02 promptly saluted and turned to his stammering companion. Undyne's jaw dropped as she watched the result, before the pair went off for ice cream. ...is this what it feels like to be the protagonist in the human histories? she thought to herself.
...I'm not sure how to react to that, Chara murmured as Woona pulled her head back out of the shortcut.
"Yeah," Woona agreed. "I never knew Undyne was such a good matchmaker for everyone except herself."
...I don't know how to react to that, either, Chara admitted as Woona turned north, and then east.
Woona was somewhat unsurprised to discover she had entered yet another darkened room. Sighing, she waited for the lights to come on.
Alphys updated status:
Turning on the lights for Woona.
As the lights came on, Woona found herself in a large brown room with various items scattered around...and that she seemed to be on TV. Somewhat upbeat, intense music began to play.
"GOOD EVENING BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES!" Mettaton greeted, his voice altered as it came through speakers. "THIS IS METTATON, REPORTING LIVE FROM MTT NEWS! AN INTERESTING SITUATION HAS ARISEN IN EASTERN HOTLAND! FORTUNATELY, OUR CORRESPONDENT IS OUT THERE, REPORTING LIVE! BRAVE CORRESPONDENT, PLEASE FIND SOMETHING NEWSWORTHY TO REPORT! OUR TEN WONDERFUL VIEWERS ARE WAITING FOR YOU!"
Smiling happily, Woona sat down to watch the 'correspondent' do some investigative reporting. She wondered what that was.
"UMM...BRAVE CORRESPONDENT, YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE DOING ANYTHING..."
Woona's eyes widened. "But...but I don't know how to investigative report! I don't even know what it is!"
"...JUST WALK UP TO SOMETHING OUT THERE, AND I'LL SAY SOME STUFF ABOUT IT."
"Okay, I can do that!" Smiling, Woona began wandering around, looking for something to investigate. She gasped as she spotted a familiar figure, and rushed up to the little white dog.
"WHAT A SENSATIONAL OPPORTUNITY FOR A STORY!" Mettaton proclaimed excitedly. "I CAN SEE THE HEADLINE NOW-"
Mettaton stopped talking as Woona cuddled the white dog.
"...WE NOW HAVE 27 VIEWERS! INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER WOONA, DON'T STOP SNUGGLING!"
Woona paused as she felt something strange. "Wait...this isn't a dog. It's not a dog at all!"
The tip of the dog's tail ignited.
"It's a bomb!" Woona screamed out.
"THAT'S RIGHT!" Mettaton proclaimed. "EVERYTHING OUT THERE IS A BOMB! AND IF YOU DON'T DEFUSE THE BOMBS IN TWO MINUTES, THE BIG BOMB TO THE NORTH OF YOU WILL BLOW YOU TO SMITHEREENS IN TWO MINUTES!"
Woona's phone rang. "Don't worry, Woona!" Alphys told her quickly. "I can help you! On your phone-"
"Can you give me coordinates to a part of the Underground in need of expansion?" Woona asked curiously. "Relative to my current location?"
Alphys was silent for a time. "Umm...sure I can. Let me just find them..." After a time, Alphys rattled off some coordinates.
Grinning, Woona sent her magic through her horn. The bombs all vanished into shortcut holes.
"WHAT?!" Mettaton demanded. "THIS IS AWFUL! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS SORT OF OVERPOWERED NONSENSE IS GOING TO DO TO OUR VIEWERSHIP? ...IT WENT UP. I GUESS I'LL JUST SAY GOODNIGHT TO OUR 37 VIEWERS!" The speakers cut off, and the forcefields locking Woona in shut down.
That was rather cheap, Chara chided.
"That was s-so cool!" Alphys proclaimed over the phone. "W-well, as long as I didn't look into the shortcuts..."
"Thank you, Alphys!" Woona interrupted. "If not for you, I'd have been blown to bits!"
"A...all in a day's work!" Alphys stammered, laughing nervously before her signal cut.
Woona moved out to the east and north, continuing deeper into Hotland. Knowing she was getting closer and closer to so many of her goals and keeping her promises filled her with DETERMINATION.
My only problem with this story is that this is the last chapter as of now.
7141473
I think that's my constant problem with this story.
7141484 I wonder how Woona and Chara will react to Mettaton EX
good chapter
Man, that sure... Blew up in the robot's face.
I guess there is a ... Metta-TON of work to do on the show.
Man Mettaton sure has a ... Short fuse.
I would say Woona got a... Hole in '01', or shall I say hole in '02'.
Hey Mettaton, don't go ... Barking up false stories.
Well, that's all folks. So for now... Good (k)night
Hey Other Sans, what do you think of these... Puns in disguise (dis lies)
Can't wait for Woona to meet the spiders.
7141493
Woona won't attack him, she'll just dance with him until his battery runs out.
7141512 I fully expect terrifying snuggles.
If memory serves, it's time for Woona to meet Muffet for the first time in the next chapter.
7141501 Hmm... I don't get the last one where you bracketed it. Mixed feeling about your 01, 02 joke though. Could be just me. Others are quite fine.
At least Mettaton had a... bombastic time.
When you mix 01 and 02 together, you'll eventually get 03.
Woona has reportedly high levels of HNNNG to draw in viewers.
At least there's always Alphys to... shed light on the situation.
7141560 No offense, but your second and third puns are lame. In short, you ... Blew up your chances for those kind of puns.
By the way, the 01 and 02 pun was referring to the worm holes like a type of golf games, and the last one was referring to how Mettaton lied to 01 and 02 by saying she was a human in disguise. Still, I hope you can ... Tune in to our future pun battles. Try not to ... Leave me in the dark. Come on man ... Lighten up.
7141584
You're assuming it was Mettaton.
7141584 Oh, my 01 and 02 pun is bad. Guess you can't... count on it. At least Woona was... kept in view that time. But yeah, pun needs refreshers now and again but hey, if it's bad I still leave it there to remember.
7141501 that is pure gold right there. but don't get so... humerous.
7141631 Who is could it be, Flowery? As if those two would believe in a talking flower that suddenly popped up. Remember, after the castle one is where Mettaton starts doing his own thing. I figured that he is the one who also lied to Muffet about how the main character treats spiders.
7141641
Anonymous tip. As in, a phone tip with no name left.
7141640 The puns are suppose to relate to the chapter, not skeletons unless the chapter mentions it dude.
Hahahaha, Woona's such a clever filly, teheheh...
I want to pun, but I lack the skillset needed to do so.
Good job on this mate!
7141652 I guess the chance of it being Flowery is as high as the chance of it being Mettaton.
Who found the Danny Phantom reference in the last chapter?
7141684 What lives there, in the void? A place that can never be filled, a place where being solid is considered impossible, a place where time and space don't mean anything? That is what is scary about the shortcuts. The existential fear of some thing that shouldn't be.
7141640 Are you saying you've got a BONE to pick with him?
7141765 no. but i've gotten a ton of work done today.
Yes, there is. One of them's a bunny, but the other is a dragon.
31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_nw1gzhOSEc1sjnq4eo1_1444538430_cover.png
You can tell by the ears and the overall structure of the face, and also this phone call.
Being clueless to people's feelings? Sometimes, it depends on who it is.
All right, time to do the joke myself.
Mettaton's words are not bombs, 0/10.
Eh, if I had to guess, people might be interested at first, but then it slowly declines as you begin to realize: There is no chance in a blue moon the protagonist will fail, in which case the story eventually begins to st-
Ah, nevermind, then.
Eh, at least a major character wasn't sacked just because the author "isn't into lolis", and it never occurred to them that she could still be a regular character even though she wouldn't be a love interest. Especially when it's done in the most thoughtless, contrived, out of character processes imaginable... Trust me, Chara, there are much worse ways to be cheap.
Luckily for you, you haven't done anything that stupid... well, you've almost gotten close from time to time, but nothing completely ridiculous. See you later, Tatsurou.
These shortcuts come quite in handy, eh? Glad to see that Woona used them in a precarious situation.
7141560
SAAAAANS!
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WAIT....
7141501
7141640
NOT YOU GUYS, TOO!
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7141809 Yet, all any one looking at them sees is the empty void. Those who go through them don't notice because they are already at the other end.
7141837 Dude, I'm just having a pun war with this guy. I never even sent any to you. Why are you angry at me?
7141640 By the way, San's Apprentice, do you want to join in on me and the Other Sans pun war? The rules are simple. When a new chapter of this fic comes out, you have to make as many puns, that can be related to this chapter, as possible.
I guess woona's starting to think with portals.
7141878 Don't mind him, he's been obligatory posting a Papyrus since before this story, it's become second nature to the both of us. Think of it like a cheering squad.
7141895 You ever read any Lovecraft? Because Cthulhu, the guy who physically drives people who actually look at him insane, is small fry compared to his "dad" on the whole terror inducing, and he is never touched on in any real way.
Woona is sure relying on those shortcuts a lot. I hope they don't have any negative side effects when used improperly/too much.
Meanwhile:
Pyrope 1: Hey look, bombs! We're running low on these.
Pyrope 2: Never gave it much thought, but yeah.
7141944 I guess so. Oh well. By the way, I invited Sans Apprentice to join are pun war. We have to wait until the next chapter of this story is up before we can send in the next puns though.
7142028 I like to picture that one as both the best and worst music connoisseur to ever exist.
7142017 Please, we should be surprised if something bad DOESN'T happen.
7142142 So he prefers vinyl then?
7142115
I actually enjoy sans apprentice's puns. I just like being a Papyrus in this story's comments section.
I'm going to miss doing this when the story ends, though.
7141837 what, you don't like these, humerus puns?
7141890 i'll pass. im too lazy for something like a contest.
That was adorable.
I expect this kind of cute in the next chapter:
hostr.co/file/gWPUpCNtX0JG/woonamuffy.png
Time to put all to shame and read this in one night.
7142241
...is...
...is this fanart?
7142331 Awww... Mobile breaks it. Saving it for viewing later.
7142347 Thanks!
7142199
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7142386 It both is and isn't. High speed vibrations and low speed vibrations affecting the movement of light while producing "music" has nothing on Yog-Sototh.
7141493 Mettaton EX appears!
Woona chooses Chara!
GOOOOOOOO CHARA!
THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED!
WHAT WILL HAPPEN!?
Cuteness is the best way to get views