• Member Since 23rd Nov, 2015
  • offline last seen April 21st

ppg1998


Comments ( 14 )

Interesting idea, but you really need an editor.

6678711 what did I do wrong ?

6678735
There are a ton of grammatical and structural mistakes with the story that make it hard to read.

Bravo! Good Job! Once again you made an amazing story! And I am not being sarcastic just to let you know. I truly enjoy this. Can't wait for another chapter! :pinkiehappy:

Only thing bothering me about this is the language. So can you tone the curse words down a bit? Just wondering. I am not saying it is bad but just a little extreme. :twilightoops:

This seems somewhat interesting, so i will keep my opinion as neutral for now

It is a bit strange what happened so far, but way to soon for me to say much about the story.

Uh finally she's asleep now back to watching supernatural. Huh oh I was wondering when you guys could hear me. I'm sure your curious on who I am and my backstory and stuff but that is for another time. I'll be sure to answer a few things though. As for how I'm watching supernatural. Blood magic can go long ways I'll leave it at that. As for why I'm keeping umbra here is cause for few reasons. 1st just a little anger relief. 2nd I want a roommate, when you spend hundreds of years living alone in a cabin it gets kinda lonely and boaring. 3rd because I can, he is not the only evil pony in equestria. Now back to supernatural I'm in season 6 right now. I can't wait for them to kill dick.

I´m not a fan of that part, I just prefer it if they don´t talk to the author.

I kind of hope this story isn´t just about torure, being a sexy slave, and maybe sex itself. I mean I can handle that stuff, but that isn´t really what I would like to read, "if it is the only thing in the story." I prefer other stuff, but as long as this story is mixed with more than what it looks like, I give it a fair chance.

I´m actually curious about the romance part, I mean it would be a bit weird if she would start a romance with a pony that she has to see as her Master, but I know something like this already exist in animes, and stuff like that.

I somehow thought she would start a relationship with Twilight, or someone else later in the story, but I think this isn´t really about them.

6687738 the the torture and sex is just a bonus its really just a romantic comedy with a little adventure later

I admit I start to like those characters, and it is a bit strange that my sense of justice, or moral, or whatever I should call it, start´s to react if I see someone being in the position of King Sombra/Umbra, but I guess it is okay so far.

Like I said, I somehow start to like it, if Blood Vine?, should actually get a few short Background chapters once in a while, I think I would enjoy it even more.
I somehow hope that she has a Background, that makes her look like more than she is right now, and with that I mean not only mean, but maybe she has some kind of reasons, and is actually lonely or something like that. I just want something that makes a romance easier to believe if it should start between them.

I think I´m going to give you a thumb up, but I wait for one chapter more. Another thing, I´m not sure if the POV is changing to much, or not.

(Relax listen I'm very busy with 2 stories at once and those who were excited for a gore fest right now I apologize your going to have a wait a little longer I'll put one in once the story is done and I have more time and I'm a little more experienced at writing I hope you can understand ok back to the story)

I watched few horror movies, but I´m still not sure where I draw the line.

I try to read one such a scene if you should write it, and then I probably know if I like to read about it or not.

After I have sex with someone it then sends a magical spell into there bodies straight into there blood stream until it reaches there heart and it cause it to stop beating.

I think Mass Effect had something similar, but it had a better explanation, I´m not sure if I´m happy with the reason.

.....not sure if the last part is explanation enough, but I let it go. I´m still in the mood to read this,
I forgot what I wanted to say, but even if I sound a bit wary, be sure that I can take such stuff, and doesn´t judge the story, just because it could get a bit messy in later chapters.

Eating a lot of heavy food after starvation is a guaranteed painful death. Sombra's durability is indeed remarkable.

I would like to have a new chapter please.

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