I love writing and my very first fanfic is on here. Any kind of feed back helps me out so please don't be shy and let me know what you think of my work. <3
Sunset was still having a hard time making friends at Canterlot High. It wasn't until she ran into someone that was having a worse time than her that she decided to take that first step towards friendship that eventually grew into a closer and more personal bond.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That's it?
Not bad. Could've been a bit more to it, but not bad.
Yeah I know its short but it was my first attempt at a "romance" story. ><;;
Nope, not gonna criticize, great detail. Good plot. Though I am a bit confused about how kissing and relaxing with someone is considered a friend? Anywho keep writing!
Spread the pony love!
Thank you! Maybe I can expand this genre some more sometime lol. Wanted to get my feet wet or so the saying goes. =P
I wrote an unnecessarily long review of this story! Because I don't like hijacking comment threads, I've posted the whole thing over in a blog post. Sorry it's a little negative (I try not to be!) but I'm hoping it comes across more as "trying to be helpful" than "hyper-critical and mean"
tl;dr: this story showed a good deal of promise, but rushed romantic development, genre confusion, and other issues let it down.
6802022 Thank you very much for the review. Criticism, in all forms of it, I really enjoy receiving for it does help me. Like I've mentioned before it was my first attempt at this kind of genre for I don't usually write in this style but wanted to give it a shot. I know you mentioned more bad than good things but both I will learn from and apply them to my writings to become a better author. Once again thank you for taking a look at the story!
6802124 Everything I have to say was said in Quills review
good story but a few issues the 1 i noticed most was trixie says she got bullied for how she talks then stops talkng how trixie talks and sunset did not adreess this and tell her to be her self
7336276 Thank you. Yeah this one was a bit rushed and was still experimenting with the "romance" genre. I'm glad you liked it and I have learned a lot from it, especially from Quill's review he did on it.
7340578 no problem you should do a sequel or something expand this story
7341643 I thought about doing a complete rewrite of it making it longer and more in depth.
7342034 go for it
7342144 The only thing is is that should I make it a new chapter or a completely separate story? Should I keep this one still or erase it? I mean I do want to keep it around to show the improvements that have been made and all.
7343322 make a new story but keep this one up for future refrences and so you have a reminder of how you can allways improve
7343404 Got it. Sounds like a plan then. Thanks for the input and keep an eye out for a revised version here real soon.
i really enjoyed this
8508417 thank you! I have written a revised version of the story you could check out.