- Member Since 13th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen April 15th
Glitter Grenade
Writing GLORIOUS trash. Nothing more or less.
Glitter Grenade
Joined 13th Oct, 2014 ·
Offline
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Eh, feels a bit rapey for my tastes: I don't know if that was your intention or not, but that's how it came across. The actual sex could use more embellishment as well, it seemed to end rather abruptly.
great story is there going to a sequel to this?
Nice.
Ovulation.... Never heard of that before....
I think you meant Oviposition?
One heck of a way to finalize a treaty...
Loved it i want more that was sexy... But over all great read it really detalied how all the parties felt and reacted to the events
6546093
I wrote this all in one-sitting so you could say that this is the rough draft version. After submitting it, I realized that I didn't add the sensory details; how the room looks, how the tea tastes, how Chrysalis is glowing with her swollen womb, etc. But the story still flowed really well for where it counted. It got to the point, fast. I thought about taking it out of the queue and fixing it but it would have ruined the sort of feel of completeness the fic has.
Besides that, while writing I had two main ideas that I had to hit: Celestia gets dominated and there would be oviposition. I considered giving Chrysalis lines at the beginning and having the story lead to Celestia propositioning Chrysalis, they fool around, and Chrysalis reveals her true ploy and starts filling Celestia with eggs. There would have been lots of snark and belly/pregnancy worship before any sex. There's still some traces of belly worship in the fic but not to the extent that I was planning.
But that would have padded the story with an extra three-thousand words it didn't need. I was aiming for porn, not written erotica with this particular fic.
And if I gave Chrysalis lines earlier, the fic would ultimately moved to a more romantic angle as I fleshed out her and the possible relationship the two could have. Perhaps unfortunately, I really wanted to write a fic with Celestia dominated for realieses.
Thanks for reading and commenting. I'll add Non-Con to the list of fetishes to warn future readers that this fic may not be to their liking.
6546135
Nah. I just liked the request and used as the base of a warm-up clopfic. If I do write a sequel, it's probably would involve pillow politics and changeling babies. Domestic enemies and all that.
6546330
Thanks for reading.
6546678
Yup, I spelled that wrong. It's ovioposition.
6546840
You're right. I'll make the correction straight a way. I knew I was spelling it wrong but spelling correct kept on telling me I was right.
6547089
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.
Please ignore the deleted comments. They were the same response I was sending to Azure Blackstone. My internet skipped a beat and posted three copies of the exact comment.
6547470
Yeah.... Still don't know what ovioposition is and I'm to lazy to look it up....
6548612 Basically, some creature--in this case changelings--sticks their eggs inside another--usually mammalian--creature to incubate.
I like this on several levels.
Changelings are both predatory and a little alien, neither of them really had a choice in the events, and they both ended up rather content (even if morality is murky as hell) by the end. I'd love to read something more on this story's premise.
6548849
Well that explains a lot.
6550431 Happy to help.
It was entertaining, but the first paragraph needs work. I almost stopped reading after it alone. It is written as a single long run-on sentence. Between the addition of talking about the reporters and their stories, and a comment about the room itself and its purpose, the start of the subject is forgotten by the time we reach the end where Celestia and Chrysalis are finally mentioned.
6552088
Frankly, I'm surprised that nobody mentioned that the sentence is missing a period. (Which I'm fixing now.)
I hate padding fics and I really dislike exposition that should be summed up as quick as possible if it doesn't serve a purpose outside of exposition. (Look how I trapped it all in one sentence!) Plus, this story is in Celestia's perspective. Sure, it might have been more cleaner if I cut the sentence into sentences but I was aiming more for a textual thought process. Celestia has already been sitting there a while and when the story starts, it's been ten minutes. She's thinking of just about everything but Chrysalis and when she does, she quickly skims over it.
And as the story progresses, she keeps on coming back to it and-
But objectively, probably a bad run-on sentence.
6547470
Well, here's hoping that a sequel comes to pass anyway.
6546678 Ovulation, as well, is the term where an egg passes from the ovaries and is ready to be fertilized. The "natural" birth cycle of female mammals, as some would say.
I like how Chrysalis just starts spontaneously humping the ground after signing a political treaty.
6939848
"Truly this is an arrangement that will help all involved"
hump hump hump
Short.
Hope a review’s okay!