• Member Since 13th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 10th, 2015

Pretentioulicious


This is an alt account for if I get aroused interested enough to write clop.

Comments ( 21 )

We enjoyed this story!
It was well written and pretty hot under the collar. Nice subtle use of control and the idea was well thought out. Royal congratulations.

Please finish this!:fluttercry:

Please finish this this is one of the best crysails story's i loved the ending

I would be quite greatful if you were to finish this my good writer.

Ah, please do finish the second chapter! I would love to read that, it would be great. Especially if she does what she said, dress him in mare's clothes. Love it, and would love to see Shining Armor being made so very subby to her, ehehe.

Not bad as far as writing quality; particularly for clop. I'd love to see more of this.

Wait, he's captain of the guard. Wouldn't he be Dom for everyone but the princesses?

I would love to read the second chapter you mentioned

Thanks everyone, I wasn't expecting as much positive response as I've gotten and I'm vaguely proud :heart:
I'll probably edit chapter one a bit, it could certainly use it.
I'm also just about to restart chapter 2, what I have already doesn't work. Hopefully that'll come out soon.
3942497
Damn, you're right. There goes a chapter idea. I'd say I can't believe that slipped my mind, but I can given chapter 1 was written in a single 'session' I can.
Oh well, at least it's princesses plural.

3943853

In my opinion, it would be even hotter to, instead of programming him to have obvious personality changes when with others, make chapter two about how she keeps his "condition" secret. So she just builds up lots of triggers to control him, but trains him to appear normal. Then you can just have a bunch of sex scenes where she gets him alone (or alone with another pony she wants to ensnare) and then triggers him.

Great! But I hope you will include pegging too, in the next chapters... or maybe a little futa:raritywink::pinkiecrazy:

Seems like it just cuts out in mid sentence at the end.

This scene was a little bit all over the place. She kind of rushed through the hypnotic commands, it felt. Hope to see her take worse and worse advantage of him in further chapters, though.

3954904 Oops, so it does. Fixed, must have accidentally the copy/paste oops.
I'll try restrain myself from publishing new chapters at 5:30 in the morning from now on, I could just as easily chopped off more than a word and not noticed. Re. the hypnosis, I felt in earlier drafts (those two I threw out to start over specifically) that it dragged on a bit long, and while I could easily write a pure hypnosis, no-clop chapter, I like both the challenge and slightly prefer the outcome of trying to mix the two. It's a pity I missed the mark here a bit, but I think I'm still happy with the chapter overall.
3954325 I'd actually like to work in futa, so you might just see that. Pegging, though, is one of the few fetishes I don't have, so I'm not sure I could write it well.
As always, thanks a bunch for the feedback, and while I do have a road-map the substance of upcoming chapters is still unplanned, so I'm open to suggestions :heart:

3955579
Cool. And since you added crossdressing, what about some M/M action? Maybe with some royal guards, or changelings?:raritywink:

Story is falling apart a bit. Here's hoping She fails and some revenge with a permanent residency will happen. For now.
Hypnosis... :pinkiesick:

My only regret is the anal in this story, which I'm really not into. But honestly, you've done the Chrysalis/Shining clop better than most, if not all. Good job! :twilightsmile:

It's very very very good!

Any chance for more stuff like this?

I hope you will update this soon

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