A Jealous Apple

by Winged Cat

Envy, Mirrored

The sun had long since set, and the moon cast no light tonight. Darkness surrounded the Apple family's farmhouse, suffusing and suffocating like water in a shipwreck, save for the dining room. There and only there, yellow-white light streamed from lamps, illuminating the five residents: four ponies and a dog, seated around a table like a smattering of fall leaves: large red and tiny yellow on one side, mid-sized orange and wrinkled green on the other, with the brown and white dog prowling underhoof, going wherever she thought she could get a treat or a pat. Also illuminated were pans and dishes with a scattering of crumbs, testimony to the recent devouring of another tasty dinner.

At least, three of the ponies thought it had been tasty. Winona, too, had enjoyed what scraps came her way. Big Mac had found the meal bland, though he knew that was no fault of the food's.

"...but I finally talked Rarity into leaving." Applejack adjusted her hat as she finished her tale, the telling of which had dominated dinner's discourse. "The map was right: either one of us alone would've been lost. Only together could we get the job done. Someday I'm gonna have to ask Twilight how it works, once SHE figures it out."

The big red stallion attempted a smile. "Eeeyup."

"So now are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

"Eee-" Big Mac blinked, taken off guard. "-nope."

Applejack frowned and crossed her forelegs, shifting them low on her chest to avoid catching the braid at the end of her blonde mane. Idly noting she needed a haircut soon, she pressed on. "Look. I'm mighty sorry about missing the Sisterhooves Social. But I don't have to be Rarity to tell that something happened while I was gone. Your smile never reached your eyes once..." She glanced at Big Mac's plate. "...and you ain't gone back for seconds, like you weren't hungry."

He looked off to the side and sighed, "Eeeyup."

She glanced at Granny Smith and Apple Bloom, mind racing down several tracks. Her brother's knack of answering in yes and no had given her practice in figuring out situations with minimal context, but now she had less than usual. "So either of you two gonna tell me what's up, or is it twenty questions time?"

Apple Bloom leaned into Big Mac and hugged, like a tiny marigold attempting to comfort a giant redwood. "He's just mad 'cause he got us disqualified from the social."

Applejack blinked as her trains of thought came together, collided, derailed, walked off, went on strike to protest the sheer absurdity, realized nopony was paying them, built themselves into a giant train-themed mental robot, and collapsed when they could not decide which one would form the head.

Granny Smith pointed at Big Mac with a fork. "He dressed up like a lady, but we all knew. They were willing to let it slide, until he started busting through the obstacles. Even that might've been forgiven, until he picked up little Apple Bloom and carried her over the finish line, instead of waiting for her to run the final distance."

From the wreckage of Applejack's thought process, a red flag emerged and waved for attention.

Apple Bloom shrugged. "It was just for this year. You and I can compete next year as usual...umm, assuming you're not off on another-"

Applejack interrupted with the swift application of forehoof to forehead. "Buck it. Big Mac. There's been something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now, and never got around to it."

Apple Bloom sidled up closer to Big Mac, trying to interpose herself between her brother and her sister. "Now hold on, Applejack. Big Mac's a good brother! He's always around when I need him, and he's so big and strong..."

"Yes, and that's just it." Applejack looked Big Mac in the eyes and took a slow breath. "Big Mac. I...I've been jealous of you for years now."

Big Mac blinked. Apple Bloom tried to process Applejack's answer and briefly forgot to stay standing, toppling over onto Winona, who whimpered a bit at the impact but soon figured this was just some unusual form of petting and so settled down to be Apple Bloom's pillow. Granny Smith allowed herself a small smile of satisfaction.

Applejack held eye contact with her brother, though the bottom of her heart desperately yearned to look away and avoid this topic altogether. "That's it, ain't it? You were getting tired of hearing about your sister the Bearer of the Element of Harmony, your sister the star of the Sisterhooves Social, your sister this your sister that. Am I right?"

Big Mac frowned and replied – in the closest to a growl he ever allowed himself, especially to his own family – "Eeenope."

Applejack sighed and looked down. "Yeah...and I'm lucky to still be here to be heard of." She took off her hat, held it to her chest, and looked up with what she hoped was an apologetic expression. "You want to know another couple words for heroes? Sacrifices. Martyrs."

Big Mac's frown vanished as he sat back up.

"I don't know what I did to get pulled on all these adventures. Wrong place at the wrong time, I guess. Now I'd never trade my friendships for anything, but...even before Twilight came to town, I always figured you'd be the one to take over the farm someday, and...well, I kinda resented you for that, just a bit. But I'm here for my family, so even if I'll never be as big and strong as you are, I'll do what I can to make sure you have a farm to inherit someday. Just..." She looked down and noticed she was wringing her hat into a lump. After taking a moment to unfold it back into a hat shape, she continued, "...there kinda needs to still be an Equestria for the farm to be in. So when I'm called, I gotta go. Missing the social hurt more than usual, but missing planting season, losing good applebucking days, and just not being able to be here for y'all..." Applejack sighed and looked back up at Big Mac. "And you don't have any of those problems."

"Now just hold on a moment," Apple Bloom protested as she stood back up. "You ain't a sacrifice. Martyrs are ponies who DIE, and you ain't died yet! You ain't gonna, neither. You CAN"T die. Equestria needs you. We need you."

Big Mac and Granny Smith shared a glance. Slowly, Big Mac walked around the table, getting to Applejack's side.

Applejack lay her head on the table, winding up at eye level with her little sister. "Dying's something you only do once. I don't wanna do it, but it's the kind of thing that gets done to ponies in my situation. Like...remember that first time the map summoned me? I told you we were in that cell of a cottage overnight? I kinda timeskipped that, and here's why." She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. "Most of the night, I kept fighting off a thought: that this time, we wouldn't make it out. That was it, I'd gone off to some nowhere town at the edge of the map and you'd never hear from me again. I kept getting...visions, nightmares though I was awake, of the farm falling apart, of you going off to the orphanage with Scootaloo, of Granny Smith dying alone..." The beginnings of tears shimmered in the lamplight along her closed eyelids. "The one thought, the only thought, I had to combat that was Big Mac. I knew, somehow, he'd keep it all together, just like he always does when I'm not here. It ain't the first time I've thought that. Knowing that he's here, knowing that he can take care of you, that's sometimes been the only thing that lets me face what I have to." She smirked. "Heh. Given how fast he's charming the mares, he'll probably be married and have kids before I got any sign of a steady coltfriend."

Apple Bloom blinked. "Err, if you're having problems with nightmares, I'm sure Luna'd be glad to help, given all you've done."

Applejack finally opened her eyes, staring daggers at her sister. "I'm FINE, Apple Bloom. I'll deal with it, just like I have been."

Apple Bloom nodded meekly, while making a mental note to run to the castle and have Spike write an urgent letter to Luna explaining how one of the Bearers needed her help right away, as soon as she had an excuse to slip away.

Sitting up, Applejack continued, "And you know how I like to go sell our wares? Now I've got socialites chatting me up, bla bla Hero of Equestria this bless my foal that oh surely one of the Bearers will give me a discount just because I asked." She rolled her eyes. "I'd hoped, when I put that jewelry back on the Tree of Harmony, that I was done with this hero business. Guess it got branded on my soul or something, 'cause it just don't stop." With a sigh, she looked down.

Apple Bloom blinked and rubbed her eyes. For just a moment, Applejack had looked older than Granny Smith.

"I...am so tired of this," Applejack muttered. She closed her eyes and began falling to one side.

Big Mac caught her almost immediately, placing one hoof on her chest briefly to make sure her heart was still beating.

Apple Bloom blinked. One moment Applejack had been talking, now she was...snoring?

Big Mac gently draped Applejack over his back. "Third time this month. She won't remember it in the morning. Sorry you had to see this one."

Apple Bloom's jaw dropped.

Granny Smith shrugged. "I figured it was something like this." She pulled out a rolled-up sheet of paper. "Been listening at her door at night from time to time. Already got this written up, and I was right on every bit of it. Apple Bloom, be a dear and give this to Spike to send to Luna?"

Big Mac slowly trotted toward the door. "I wanted to be your hero. I never said I was jealous of Applejack."

Apple Bloom just stood there, stunned, disbelieving eyes looking at her brother and sister, then pleading eyes turning on Granny Smith silently trying to make sense of the situation.

Granny Smith looped a leg over Apple Bloom and pulled her in for a hug. "She'll be fine, dear. She's stronger than that. It's...just been gettin' to her, lately."

"But...but..."

"Hush, now." She patted Apple Bloom, long-practiced hooves smoothing out the upset. "She just needs a little more help than she's willin' to admit. Always has. You know that."

Apple Bloom breathed heavily and tried not to cry. "I ain't never seen her just dead faint like that before!"

"Heh. Truth be told, neither've I, but I know one thing: the three reasons she don't just give up and faint dead are right here in this room."

Apple Bloom blinked, looking around, then her mouth formed a silent "oh" as she realized.

Granny Smith smiled and nodded, letting Apple Bloom go. "Equestria needs her. She needs us, and that includes you. Now go deliver that letter."

Apple Bloom put the letter through the loops of the bow in her hair, then looked at Big Mac. "You sure you don't need help getting her to bed?"

Big Mac shifted a bit, balancing Applejack more squarely on his back. "She ain't heavy, she's my sister."

Comments

[Zocarik]

Yeah. If any of the Bearers have wishes to be released from duty to the Elements, it would be AJ and/or Fluttershy.

I liked it. Will read again just after I post this comment.

[Summer Dancer]

What can I say, I really really like this. The Bearers went to conquer one villian and had a whole season full of peace, thinking that fighting villians were a one time thing...until Discord showed up. It was then when they realized that this was for life, a job you can't quit, even if you wanted to. It's a lifetime duty now, and it can't be easy. I only wish this was longer! Feels like a beginning of a bigger story more than anything!

[Winged Cat]

6770340 And they're the ones least willing to ask, for their own reasons.

Maybe I should write one about Fluttershy. Thanks for the idea.

6770544 The only way I can think to make it longer is if Applejack seriously tries to quit, and she wouldn't. She knows what happens if she succeeds, and that the best case for all concerned is if she gets talked out of it; she thus talks herself out of it.

Fluttershy, though...or maybe this would flavor Apple Bloom's follow-up thoughts once she realizes what her cutie mark has signed her up for.

[deadpansnarker]

Very good. AND you can write in countryisms, a unique talent that completely eludes me to this day.
Have a like to go with your Christmas horse d'oeuvres.

[shinigamisparda]

Wow. It seems so obvious, and yet I've never thought of it like that.

[lazyreader19]

Dang, this hits you right in the feels...

[Winged Cat]

6770834 Thanks! I try to go light on country speak, after complaints I'd laid them on too thick in earlier stories. (It helps that I use "y'all" IRL.) Looks like I hit a good balance this time.

6770885 A common term for that is "obvious in hindsight". There are a great many things that are that way. One of my favorites is having a number (in the various historical numeric systems) for zero, since that didn't need metallurgy or coinage or most any technology...but just ask the Roman Empire how they represented nothing.

[TheStratovarian]

A very nicely done story.

[RainythePegasus_Archive]

Poor Applejack. This story is well written, very believable, and great btw.

[Fluttertreetop]

Why is this.....

[Spamotron]

6770547 I'm not so sure Fluttershy would regret becoming an Element Bearer. Applejack was already a strong confident pony before Nightmare Moon. Sure she became a bit of a better pony afterward and gained some new perspective on her stubbornness and learned to relax a little and not take on everything herself. But ultimately she didn't change much or gain much.

Fluttershy was a hyper-anxious shut-in and I got the impression her "friends," were only really friendly acquaintances. Rainbow Dash hung out with her because they grew up together in Cloudsdale but didn't really respect her. Pinkie Pie was no closer than she was to any other pony in Ponyville. There's a good chance Rarity took her on spa dates more than out of pity than anything else. Now she has the confidence to go out and make her own friends on her own initiative (Tree Hugger).

Pre-Nightmare Moon Applejack could probably have accomplished most of her heroic feats in the show with out the experience of becoming an Element Bearer. Pre-Nightmare Moon Fluttershy almost certainly could not.

[Winged Cat]

6773465 Well, that's the thing. As noted, she has been unquestionably changed, and most would say for the better, by her experiences.

Does she regret it nonetheless? Or does she think she's had enough? Though you might be right: that might stretch credibility too much for a good story.

6772077
6771342 Thanks!

6773409 Because , why else?

[Spamotron]

6773517 It just means Fluttershy's feelings are a lot more nuanced on the matter. Perhaps no pony knows better how good being an Element Bearer is for Fluttershy than Fluttershy. That doesn't mean the monsters aren't terrifying and the worry about what will happen to her animals if something happens to her goes away. The fact that the arguably best thing that's ever happened to her has a very high chance of one day getting her killed is probably something Fluttershy ponders on quite often.

Actually a point to consider is that the second-best thing that ever happened to her (the fall that introduced her to her animal friends and got her her cutie mark) also had a very high chance of ending very badly.

Its almost as if a trickster deity "blessed," her in a fashion where she obtains good fortune but has to experience near-death terror first.

Discord have you been messing with causality again?

[Winged Cat]

6773748 But then there was the sonic rainboom, which as she knows from Twilight's tales of alternate timelines, set right an Equestria that was bound and determined to go wrong. (I forget, did Fluttershy show up in any of them other than the one where the bullies made up with her, or might it be speculated that her fall may have been fatal in those alternate timelines that still had her fall?)

I'm not sure if Fluttershy does ponder on her likely eventual fate. She keeps on keeping on, and though her friends might miss her she knows they will carry on too. Given where she lives and works, she is perhaps the most aware of and comfortable with death (if not with all the various means of dying). She seems the most likely of the six to have killed something, in her case out of mercy (when death is the only possible remaining kindness).

[Orange_Peel]

6773848 I expect Fluttershy's pretty sanguine about the possibility of death. She deals with a lot of small animals, and given their lifetimes, she would have seen a lot of her friends die.

[Winged Cat]

6775966 Exactly. Applejack might have seen death, but not the amount over time that Fluttershy's probably seen.

I wonder if Fluttershy might think she sees a kindred soul in Celestia that way.

[FurryBrony]

Applejack blinked as her trains of thought came together, collided, derailed, walked off, went on strike to protest the sheer absurdity, realized nopony was paying them, built themselves into a giant train-themed mental robot, and collapsed when they could not decide which one would form the head.

This whole paragraph was hilarious, and the bolded bit reminded me of ToQGer.

[Winged Cat]

6777299 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMgsAD3D948 was my inspiration for the latter half of that paragraph.

[Highlord Langslock]

This is one of the sweetest things I have ever read.

[saloony78]

DAMN YOU. I walked into this story, expecting to read it like any other.

BUT WHAT IS THIS LIQUID IN MY EYES?

[BrawnyCharger]

It goes to show that this isn't a one way street. I really like that Applejack admits that she doesn't enjoy being the hero. I'm sure that Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie at times feel this way too. But there's nothing any of those ponies can do about it. Heroes of Equestria is a role that the Mane 6, Spike, and now Starlight Glimmer are going to have to play for the remainder of FIM, whether they like it or not.

However, if Big Mac wants to have a big hero moment of his own, then he's certainly entitled to have one. How about if there comes a moment where the Cutie Map calls Big Mac to something. Or maybe a moment where he has to rescue somepony. Or anything else. No matter what it is. Just give Big Macintosh a moment in which he gets to be the hero of the Apple family for once.

[Luna-my-favorite-pony]

Two words: want. More.