Life, Love, & Death

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Comments ( 8 )

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Comment posted by Deathwatch56 deleted Sep 22nd, 2015

colt alchemist

colt alchemist #2 · Oct 3rd, 2015 · · · Chapter 3: Party Time! ·

I like it so far

Deathwatch56

Deathwatch56 #3 · Oct 5th, 2015 · · · Chapter 3: Party Time! ·

Thank you.

V4SH

V4SH #4 · Nov 17th, 2015 · · · Chapter 3: Party Time! ·

bIt is shout, relay shout, the passing is a bit off, try to add more then a few lines of text, and the characters are a bit 2D, I get noting it the way of emoshon from Sarah.
All so try to make it seem more natural, the fact that Sarah only had a miny- freak out at the sight of taking multi colder pones is, how do I put it, underwhelming.
But all in all this fic dose have pertenshal so I will be keeping an eye on it.

Deathwatch56

Deathwatch56 #5 · Nov 17th, 2015 · · · Chapter 3: Party Time! ·

6642126 She only has a minor freak out because she has a heavy military back ground and has seen a lot of weird things. She is also not very emotional because of her service in the NAVY S.E.A.Ls.

Gypsybard

Gypsybard #6 · Jan 22nd, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Arrival ·

I'm curious what made Deathwath56 comment deleted was it him being...not so nice.
any ways this chapter may be short but it's not bad and seems nice.

Gypsybard

Gypsybard #7 · Jan 22nd, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: Introducions ·

another quick and short chapter, but I recommend combining the two chapters just so it isn't so short, but also try adding more details it will also extend the chapter.
I still enjoyed this non the less I hope that you do well in future chapters.

WitchDoctor